Ju - Tumblr Posts
THOSE glasses. 🫣♥️🐰
the theatre
in september of 2021 i moved from my home town to the city i study in.
the first three months are a chapter i shall dedicate it's own post to. in general it is to be explained that for one year i did not actually study, i was only enrolled in uni for enjoying the benefits of being a student (it was because i had missed an important deadline to apply to the course i actually wanted to do). early 2022 my life consisted of living in this wonderful dormitory, working three jobs at the same time and indulging myself into the cultural life of the city as much as possible.
it is one of those student benefits that we can go to the theatre for free, which i really made use of going to the theatre up to 4 times a week. we have about 3 main theatres in this city. the theatre i am talking about is a relativley small (at least compared to the city theatre) private theatre. small in this case describing the ensemble, which only consits of 15 actors in total, 8 of which are under a fulltime contract, the rest just being occasional guest actors.
though the ensemble is small, the repertoire is big, diverse, ever changing and very interesting. this season we are performing 21 different plays! this makes it very popular, even more popular than the big city theatre.
the combination of those factors made it very attractive to me. it felt homey from the beginning on. it made me want to read up on every detail and background information i could get my hands on. i started looking up the actors' backgrounds and read and collected the little booklets they have accompanying each play. this went on until summer, until they went on break. after their break i only went occasionally and in most of 2023 i had kind of forgotten about it, having too many things to do and basically travelling all the time.
in september 2023 though, shortly before i returned back to europe from america i was sitting in this bakery thinking about how my life needs to change when i get back. actually starting the course that i wanted to study in october 2022, i had told myself to want to focus on studying and quit the jobs i had that time. but i ran out of money eventually and really needed a new job. and on that rainy late summer morning in the crowded bakery that reminded me of the bakeries in europe i had the idea to apply to the theatre. they did not officially look for a person, but literally just 5 minutes after i had sent my application i already got an answer inviting me to an interview. my now superior later asked me how i could have possibly known they are looking for somebody and said how my timing was just perfect. he himself, his name is m., had only started at the theatre in september. he is the assistant to the director and the main person handling the bureaucratic issues.
the theatre team consits of following groups of people: the actors obviously, the director and his assistant m., the dramaturgy, the pr, the stage tech guys, the constume people, the restaurateur and the ticket sellers&inspectors, latter group i belong to. we are about 60 people, but on a daily basis you encounter the same 15 people more or less.
it is the ideal job for me who is passionate about literature and theatre and likes to interact with people. almost every time i am working our guests compliment my friendliness or the way i consult them about which play they should watch for example. and it's true, if i want to i can be very charismatic and i definitely know how to make use of that talent... but honestly, this is what i expect us as the main people who our guests get to interact with to be like. unfortunately my colleagues do not seem to share this view, since often they are rude and harsh for no reason. which makes me cringe a lot. but is also a chance for me to stand out. in this rather small town you do not meet people only once, but will eventually encounter them again. therefore it is always good to firstly know and remember people and secondly for them to have a good opinion about you. so far, this kind of thinking has literally given me a job i had once, made it possible for me to be in the us right now or to live with the old gentleman without paying rent.
...
the job itself turning out to be fairly easy and relaxed, i made it my mission to involve myself with as many things i shouldn't be involved in as only a ticket seller as i could. i would for example befriend the stage tech people and spend much time backstage or help the restaurateur as a waitress from time to time when i have nothing else to do. i always see the theatre as a side quest and want to involve myself in some drama (without being negativly affected from it though, but rather just a bystander or spy-like figure). for that i really wanted to get involved with some guys at the theatre. there were several more or less possible candidates:
ja.: one of the stage tech guys, 33, a nerd really, always rather quiet, tall, grunge styled, playing the piano very well. our encounters always being akward but charged with a certain tension... but unfortunately in a relationship;
jü.: his father, one of the fulltime actors, about 65, divorced, very handsome, tall, giving androgynous vibes, with an almost intimidating way of carrying himself, always leaves social gatherings first, an incredible dancer and singer and in general just the ideal lana-del-rey-core strict daddy;
pa.: also around thirty, stage tech guy as well, bit nerdy and chill, just a fun guy, but kinda boring;
m.: around 34, my superior, well educated but kind of confused, fun and dirty minded. but in a longterm relationship;
a.: fulltime actor, 29, chubby in a dad bod way, into alt fashion, stoner, mama's boy, flirty and extravagant, a loud personality really, into partying and drugs much, very much of an idiot and child, but also just a kind and gentle guy., and most importantly: single and therefore obtainable!
the event i had most looked forward to as a chance for drama was the theatre's internal christmas celebration on december 18th. i had even bought a dress for that purpose, it is the red one in this collage. the procedure of things was following: all of us were gathering in the foyer where we also have a small stage. On there several actors and staff members had perfomed christmas themed texts, plays or music pieces. after that was done everybody recieved their christmas money one after the other, handed personally by our main sponsor (one of those many very rich people living in the town). Then, the buffet was opened. everybody was quick to take food, chat a bit with their group of peopple (always only exactly the group of people they themselves belonged to) and then, very soon most people had left.
i was disappointed. i expected there to be possibilites of each groups of people to mix and get to know each other, but nobody seemed interested in that at all. the two highlights keeping people there were the money and the food. non surpringly somehow.
it was only one person who had somewhat made an effort of "putting himself out there". it was a. who sat at the table of the ticket sellers. most of all of us (we are about 8 people) are students that other than this job would have nothing to do with theatre, nor need to have any training for the job that we do, therefore we are always rather outsiders. but yes, a. being by far the youngest of the actors probably felt weird and bored to sit with the 35-70 year old people. i strategically sat down next to him. wearing a parfume i had bought shortly before that i really like and had gotten many compliments for. i was drinking one glass of red wine after the other (yes, alcohol was for free as well!) which itself was great fun for me. he was drinking beer, behaving exactly like the kind of chav the he looks like he is. during the ceremony he commented on things, laughed and applauded loudly. i myself like leaving cynical or naughty comments or references on things, and so i did. we basically were the only people really enjoying ourselves, sitting next to each other we soon began on joking together, it was great fun.
eventually the ceremony had ended, everybody recieved their money, ate some food and most of the staff left. it was only some of the actors and a few of the ticket sellers and the directors and their assistants left. we gathered to dance and drink more. typically i am not a party girl at all, but as it is with everybody, things change after a certain number of drinks.
unfortunately that day nothing else happened. at some point even some of us left and i got bored and felt akward. i just decided to quietly sneak out and walk home rather disappointed.
the melodramatic bitch i am i kept on listening to "margaret" by lana del rey even days after that. the line "the party is december 18" and "when you know you know" kind of fed my delusions of disappointed hope. my longing for excitement had one seemingly last chance left: new year's eve...
