Just Joking - Tumblr Posts
just recite the Bible while doing the seve deadly sins and TA-DAA! Murder-machien right at ya.
I got a new car! (Yes that is an entire church stuffed with cannons on its back)
Yo, that's sick! Where can I get one??
Pfft yeah right. Like his name’s not Wil Wheatlon.
i think you’re missing an ‘l’ in your name, methinks
My love, I say this gently, and with kindness.
I'm 51 years-old, and I have had to deal with people telling me that I am spelling my name wrong for my entire life.
It's not clever, it's not funny. It's exhausting. Please don't.
I have a theory, what if some Smiling Critter is actually alive? I mean, I don't think they created the Smiling Critters and then killed them and then showed them in the game(i'm delulu)
I could see Bubba, Picky and maybe Crafty alive(I pray that the developers were not so stupid as to create characters that they only use to kill them)
Do you remember this? Well I think Bobby could be alive, in her dialogue she says that she has been alone for a long time so maybe she survived the "joy time" and is currently somewhere hidden
I have a theory, what if some Smiling Critter is actually alive? I mean, I don't think they created the Smiling Critters and then killed them and then showed them in the game(i'm delulu)
I could see Bubba, Picky and maybe Crafty alive(I pray that the developers were not so stupid as to create characters that they only use to kill them)
Okay guys. Almost a serious question....would Schlatt (or Glatt) find it hot, how Quackity tortures Dream? Like just...
*distant screams*
Schlatt: That's fucking hot...
Wilbur: ....He...he is literally breaking Dreams fingers right now.
Schlatt: .....and how does it contradict my previous statement?...
I am indeed a fallen 80° angle
This line makes me think that MC is pretending to be a fallen angle.
First official proof more than the brothers fell, so many angels fell that Mammon doesn’t realize MC was never in the war
Me: WOAHHH bullocks at 6am?! wot happened to hi hello
Breed Me- John Price NSFW
Based on a request: For Kinktober, would you be willing to write Price x F!Reader with the breeding kink prompt? I love your work! ---- F!Reader, MDNI, smut, 18+, established!relationship, P-in-V, unprotected!sex, breeding!kink, husband!Price, oral!sex ----
After arriving back home from yet another mission, your husband walks into your shared bedroom. Once his eyes were set on you, he sighed. Fuck did he miss you. He gets on the bed and all he can do is hold you from behind. You are his haven. His lips find your neck and he begins to place small and tender kisses on your soft skin. You smile and scoot closer to him and he groans. He sighs, and his hand finds its way to your stomach as he slowly grinds himself against you.
You turn around and smile. He looks at you with a smirk, his eyes dark with lust as he meets your gaze. He slips a hand down to grope your ass, pulling you flush against his hard body. "I want to see you round with my child, want to feel you heavy with my seed," his voice is deep and still as seductive as the first time you heard him. You knew he wanted kids, wanted as many as you did so maybe tonight he could start with the first child.
"Please, let me try. Let me love you, worship you, until you're dripping with my cum." He says in a whisper. His lips trailing to your shoulder. He smiles softly at your words, his heart swelling with love for you. He turns his head to capture your lips in another deep, passionate kiss. His hand slides up your sides, cupping your breasts and giving them a gentle squeeze. He breaks the kiss and starts trailing his lips down your neck, his teeth grazing your pulse point. He sucks on the skin there, marking you as his. His hands moved to the hem of your shirt, slowly pushing it up and over your head, tossing it aside. He takes a moment to admire your breast, his eyes darkening with lust as he takes in the sight of your body.
He leans down, taking your breast into his mouth and sucking gently, his hand coming up to pinch and roll the other between his fingers. He lavishes your breasts with attention, his tongue swirling around your nipple before moving to the other one to give it the same treatment. His other hand slides down your stomach, dipping into your panties to cup your folds. He grows at the feeling of your wet heat, his fingers sliding through your folds teasingly. "Fuck, you're so wet for me. I'm going to fuck you so good, fill you up just right," he groans. Your moans fill the room and he groans at the sound of your moan.
He leans down, taking one into his mouth and sucking gently, his hand coming up to pinch and roll the other between his fingers. He lavishes your breasts with attention, his tongue swirling around your nipple before moving to the other one to give it the same treatment. His other hand slides down your stomach, dipping into your panties to cup your folds. He grows at the feeling of your wet heat, his fingers sliding through your folds teasingly.
He starts to lap at your pussy, his tongue delving between your folds to taste your sweet nectar. He groans at the taste of you, his tongue swirling around your clit before sucking it into his mouth. He brings his fingers up to your entrance, slowly pushing two fingers inside your tight heat, pumping them in and out in a steady rhythm. "Fuck, you taste so good, love. I could eat this pretty pussy all day. But right now, I need to be inside you. I need to feel your tight cunt squeezing my cock as I fill you up with my seed. I'm going to fuck you so hard, so deep, that you'll be feeling me for days. You're mine, Y/N. All mine. And I'm going to make sure you never forget it."
He stands up, quickly removing his clothes until he's standing before you, naked and hard. He strokes his thick, veiny cock, giving it a few pumps as he lines himself up with your entrance. He leans over you, his hands gripping your hips as he slowly pushes forward, his cock stretching you open as he sinks into your tight heat inch by inch. He groans at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him, your pussy clenching down on his cock like a vice.
He doesn't stop until he's buried to the hilt inside you, his pelvis pressed against your ass. He pauses momentarily, giving you time to adjust to his size as he nuzzles into your neck, placing soft kisses along your skin. "Fuck, you feel incredible, love. So tight and wet and perfect. Like you were made just for me," he groans, his voice rough with desire. He starts to move, then pulls out slowly before slamming back in, setting a deep, powerful rhythm. He pounds into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the kitchen along with your moans and his grunts. He angles his hips, making sure to hit that special spot inside you with every thrust, determined to make you see stars.
His hand snakes down between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles, adding to the pleasure coursing through you. He can feel his orgasm building, his balls tightening as he gets closer and closer to the edge. But he holds back, determined to make you come first, to feel your pussy clenching around him as you scream his name. He redoubles his efforts, fucking into you harder, and faster, his fingers rubbing your clit with increased fervour. "Come for me, Y/N. Let me feel you come apart on my cock. I want to feel you squeeze me, milk me for every last drop. Come on, baby, give it to me. Let go and come all over my cock like the good girl you are."
Your eyes roll back from the stimulation, "John~" you whimper. He groans as he feels your pussy clench around him, your juices coating his cock as you come undone beneath him. He continues to thrust through your orgasm, prolonging your pleasure as he chases his own. His hips snap forward, driving into you harder, deeper, his cock throbbing inside your fluttering walls. He buries his face in your neck, biting down on your shoulder as he finally lets go, his cock pulsing as he shoots his hot, thick cum deep inside you. He grinds against you, making sure every last drop is seated inside your womb, filling you up just like he promised. He collapses on top of you, his weight pressing you into the counter as he catches his breath.
He peppers your neck and face with soft kisses, murmuring words of love and praise against your skin. "That's it, love. You took my cock so well, milked me dry. Fuck, I can feel my cum painting your insides. The thought of you round with my baby, your tits swollen with milk…fuck, it's the hottest thing I've ever imagined. I'll fuck you day and night until my seed takes until you're heavy with my child. You're mine, Y/N. All mine. And I'm going to love you, worship you, for the rest of our lives. I promise you that." He rolls his hips, his softening cock still buried inside you, unwilling to separate from you just yet. He holds you close, savouring the feeling of being inside you, of being one with you. He knows he'll have to pull out eventually, but for now, he wants to stay connected to you, to bask in the afterglow of your lovemaking.
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i love you guys so much but if another man sends me a creepy message and photo i'm ending it
