Life Of A Student - Tumblr Posts
“I want to cry but I have things to do”
i wish i could treat myself the way i treat others
tw. unhealthy coping mechanisms, ed, i'm bad at feelings.
i'm not a bad person. i know i'm empathetic like a stone, but at least – even though i can hardly ever understand people's feelings – i'm tolerant.
i never judge. if someone misbehaves, i don't judge because i don't know what's behind that attitude. if someone looks like shit for a day, i don't judge, because i don't know why they didn't brush their hair that day, what if they're depressed? what if something happened in their life so now they don't feel like taking care of themselves? i don't know. and if someone get a bad grade, i don't judge. maybe they've tried their best, maybe something occurred in their life so they couldn't study properly, whatever. i don't care. i'm tolerant.
you didn't answer my text? no problem, you were busy. you didn't show up? the other thing you had to do was more important. you were rude to me? don't worry, it happens, you won't do it again.
but when it comes to me, i'm not that tolerant. i don't care if i've finished studying at 3am, i'll always wake up a little earlier to do my makeup and hair and make sure i look perfect when i go to school. i get a slightly lower grade? i'm not going to sleep for the next three weeks because i need to study more. i treat someone badly because i'm annoyed about something? i won't eat as a punishment.
i am the meanest girl ever when it's about me. there's a voice in my brain that constantly tells me that i'm the worst person in the world. i'm mean, annoying, stupid, presumptuous, know-it-all, rude, emotionless. even though i rationally know that, actually, there's nothing wrong with me. i'm not a saint, but i'm not evil.
and i sincerely ask myself, why am i so hard on myself? i wish i could just treat myself the way i treat others.
HI! i´m alive!!! (kinda...)
Tomorrow is the day that I will face my darkest moment.👁
I've been ill since Friday and I´m cramming the exam´s learning hours into an all nighter, so lucks runing out and I´m feeling horrible.
Also cramping a 16 page proyect for marine biology and a presentation for tomorrow, right now I don´t have blood flowing in my veins, only Moly, milk coffee and whatever. I NEED HELP,!!!
But i will cover up everything with a smile so I don´t mauled by anyone. \(￣︶￣*\))
Art by @wolfythewitch
If i pass with flying colours this will be my face