I Wish I Could Treat Myself The Way I Treat Others

i wish i could treat myself the way i treat others

tw. unhealthy coping mechanisms, ed, i'm bad at feelings.

i'm not a bad person. i know i'm empathetic like a stone, but at least – even though i can hardly ever understand people's feelings – i'm tolerant.

i never judge. if someone misbehaves, i don't judge because i don't know what's behind that attitude. if someone looks like shit for a day, i don't judge, because i don't know why they didn't brush their hair that day, what if they're depressed? what if something happened in their life so now they don't feel like taking care of themselves? i don't know. and if someone get a bad grade, i don't judge. maybe they've tried their best, maybe something occurred in their life so they couldn't study properly, whatever. i don't care. i'm tolerant.

you didn't answer my text? no problem, you were busy. you didn't show up? the other thing you had to do was more important. you were rude to me? don't worry, it happens, you won't do it again.

but when it comes to me, i'm not that tolerant. i don't care if i've finished studying at 3am, i'll always wake up a little earlier to do my makeup and hair and make sure i look perfect when i go to school. i get a slightly lower grade? i'm not going to sleep for the next three weeks because i need to study more. i treat someone badly because i'm annoyed about something? i won't eat as a punishment.

i am the meanest girl ever when it's about me. there's a voice in my brain that constantly tells me that i'm the worst person in the world. i'm mean, annoying, stupid, presumptuous, know-it-all, rude, emotionless. even though i rationally know that, actually, there's nothing wrong with me. i'm not a saint, but i'm not evil.

and i sincerely ask myself, why am i so hard on myself? i wish i could just treat myself the way i treat others.

im the psychopath who writes perfectly straight on an unruled paper

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚girly girl's guide to journalling 🩰 ๋࣭ ⭑

˚₊‧꒰ა benefits of journalling ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

• helps to regulate emotions

• understand yourself better

• a fun pass time! ♡

• analyse you, your habits, thoughts, etc

• de-stresses, relieves & relaxes

• productive & away from social media

• gives you control over something

• a way for you to get everything out, big or small, good or bad ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ chapter 1: beginnings

ok! so journalling is mentioned a lot in the girlblogger, wonyoungism, self growth, loa etc etc side of tumblr but when i actually took that advice started it was really really daunting and i procrastinated it for aaaages. so this is here to help you start a fun girly hobby that will help you out on your journey 🩷🎀

♡ the most important thing when beginning ur girl journal is figuring out its purpose. is it to plan, is it to document, is it for healing, is it for personal development, is it for manifestation, is it to glow up, is it for creativity, is it just to have fun? it makes it a lot easier to think of ideas once you have a set purpose in mind, but obviously it can be anything you want, any combination of these, or something other than these. i personally do a combination of emotional healing, personal development, manifestation, glow up, gratitude & just having fun, but its whatever u want bae. <3

♡ okay! first plan of action; get a notebook. obviously. lined or plain, black or white, big or small doesn't matter. anything you feel most comfortable and most drawn to. ♡

♡ second, establish a range of pens, pencils, colours, etc. you're going to be using so you can keep consistent (if thats your thing) and make it all pretty! you can tailor this to you in any way; said range doesn't have to be big, you can literally just use the same biro and 2 colours, pencils, all the colours, one colour, or none if you want; its all yours! ♡

♡ lastly, i'd suggest to gather a bunch of stickers and materials and fun cute things ur gonna add in the pages of your journal, as it makes it pop off the page and look more visually appealing and layed and feel more interesting overall. i use stickers, coloured paper, ribbons, receipts, doodles, print outs, logos, labels, gems, sticky notes, and things i find from my daily life too. you don't have to do that much or any at all if you don't want to, but i highly recommend it! just for ur personal enjoyment ♡

one thing i'd suggest is trying not to keep a strict schedule on it, like "i have to journal every day etc" because i did this and it demotivated me sooo much. don't do that! just do it when you feel you want to! it's supposed to be fun, not a chore!

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ chapter 2: setup

♡ okay so! once you've got all the basics set up, i feel it should be pretty self explanatory from here onwards, but since this is a guide i'm not gonna leave u by yourself. this is optional, but if you're planning on making journalling a hobby or a regular habit, i'd say the first thing you wanna do is enhance & expand. find some plastic folders to attach or create paper pockets or little sections where you can put resources to stick in in ur journal so you have more space, customise, and so on. i feel this is very overlooked but its sooo fun and its really creative and and makes it so unique to you <3

♡ one thing i'd suggest too if you're doing this especially or just for any type of journal really is looking on pinterest for inspo!! this is for everything really. covers, layouts, page inspo, page ideas, customisation, journal prompts, shadow work, titles, doodles etc. i keep a board of these on my pinterest & it really helps <3

♡ one of the first things i did when i set up my journal a few months ago was do one page just an index of pages to make so i had a basic structure to go off of. this went from basic journal pages you see everywhere like about me pages n all that to the most obscure shit you could possibly imagine. this is helpful because it gives you a frame to work off of when you're at a loss for what to do in ur journal. i already have a post on this so i really recommend that if ur looking for ideas cus there's LOADS <3

another thing on pinterest; don't force urself to stick to a specific theme you've found or try and avoid doing or writing certain things in ur journal cus you wanna stick to a specific aesthetic! again, it's supposed to be fun, not a chore, and it's supposed to be completely unique to you, like a physical version of your inner world. its perfectly fine to take inspo, just remember its yours. you are your own person & you don't have to show it to anyone, it doesn't have to make sense to them, just have fun 🩷

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ chapter 3: resources

links ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

@prissygrlsorority's beauty binder

journalling index by yours truly <3

shadow work prompts for literally everything

@prettygirlmjmjmj's personal journalling prompts

@honeytonedhottie's diary guide

inspo ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

lots of love! <3

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :3 🌸✨

yes yes yes i love this

my mom ❤️

sunbathing

preparing pancakes in the morning to eat with honey and strawberries

anime marathon when i have no plans the next day

going to the airport anticipating a trip abroad

just wanted to pop by and say i appreciate your blog! xx

thank you so much 🫶

complaining about the degree i chose myself ( season 1 episode 1 )

just finished a big project which will weight ⅓ of the final grade. honestly i'm not satisfied with it at all; i think it could have come out much better, but now alea iacta est. it's not entirely my fault tho. it was a damn group project. conclusion: i hate group projects, i hope it still goes decently.