Mixed Signals - Tumblr Posts

mixed signals and mixed feelings

hes been, nice? this is unusual for him, and I think I need it to stop, honestly I think hes just horny and lonely again, I really do not know, but hes been texting me? As someone who just spent the last few days mourning the fact that we hadnt messaged for like 20 days, that was fucking weird, and now were on a two day streak of texting? its, odd, and Im getting such mixed signals. He told me he would bring a plushy I liked today, and then didnt, I dont get it. He also posted about how he wanted to leave when we were sitting together I just do not get it whatsoever. I didnt even know if we were friends until I checked today and he refered to me as one kinda? so I guess we are. Im sure the reason hes being nice again and everything is to be actually friends again because, he missed my friendship, which is valid, but knowing how lonely hes been saying he is makes me, question his intentions. Whats bull is that every time we get closer, he runs away, and then im left confused as hell, this is not the first time hes done this either, its like a pattern and I honestly dont know that to do with it. If he tries to advance further physically I dont know what ill do, I still like him, but Im pretty sure he doesnt like me and is just lonely and horny, and I dont want that, but I still want him? Its so confusing, hes been letting me in too which is cool but im so lost, last week we were hardly speaking. Dont get me wrong Im happy, and i want this to continue going well as it is, I guess I want it to advance too, but that would make things, complicated. I want things to progress but at the same time I really dont. Whats worse is him treating me like im actually worth something makes me fall all over again and its so fucked. Im just so confused yk? I dont think even he knows what it is that he wants and its infuriating.

Worse even still, were staying over at a friends place, together, which might be why hes trying to repair things, to be fair its only for a night, but the last sleepover we had we were all over eachother and this is gonna be,, weird, im sure nothing will happen, even thogh I kinda want it to. One because I dont think he would go there again, and two because our friend is gonna be there, but who knows honestly. I really actually hope nothing will go down because then I have to talk to him about it probably and thats gonna be a whole thing and im so iuughhhhhhh kms. But I miss his body against mine yk? the whole thing is sooooo confusing, and I cant wait much longer im going insane. I want him so bad but I really need for nothing to happen yk?

Being a walking bucket of red flags and contradictions is all "haha they think I'm this, that or the other that's so hilarious."

...until you actually try and snag you a man💀

I'm Christian but alternative and anarchist. Straight but gay coded. Fat but proud of it. Mentally screwed yet strong willed. There's no hope, I send mixed signals by breathing. Anyone relate?

🚬 or 'burn’ // sender burns receiver // and a shotgun kiss 😌💕

      𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇, 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐘. ribcage swells with darkened hues, fresh bruises forming above those which healed. waning skin is laid bare for prying eyes, knelt upon stiffened knees. they are aching, pleading to reposition and shift the weight from stagnant groveling. sable strands are framing blood wrought features, mouth chapped and throat parched due to the other’s neglect. it was preferred, being 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐄𝐃 for days on end. only endowed the simplest necessities, and then disregarded with overhead lights shut off. being spared the proverbial rod, along with his depraved ministrations. chain embedded wrists cannot raise, strung behind, and looped at a metal platform beneath him.

      they were remaining silent, neither speaking as the man inhaled another drag : seemed like teasing, a 𝐌𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐘 toward one that couldn’t indulge his own vices. choso snarled as though disgusted, tongue gliding across teeth and contorting at the unspeakable taste left in his mouth. had there not been a guard set in place, otherwise this bastard would be writhing from the loss of his manhood. sneering as laughter escaped battered lungs. but that wasn’t their reality, the cigarette scalding flesh veered him back from those dissociative daydreams : away from comfort, where he manifested sunlight and bathed under its warmth. hoarse voice scrapping dryly on its way out. smoldering flame hovering over his inner thigh, causing limbs to tremor and his protest to subside with a 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 whine.

      this suffering was child's play compared to what the other had been subjected to memories are prominent, dosing and dousing his body until every sense was dimmed. no mercy, a sentiment shared as that scorned fury buried into brunette locks. furled appendages reel his head back, spinal columns crackling from the abrupt stretch. it never hurt any less, suspect that tolerances may be a myth from all he's endured. eye winced shut, glowering whilst blood gathered to spit at an unnervingly 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓 expression. each fiber of his being anticipates the man’s retaliation, wearing a proud crimson tainted smile to further taunt from below. death would suffice, anything save for this hell on earth. though a justified cause and effect, it was bittersweet that their positions would shift. now they were both monsters, no better than the other. revenge had long been served, but he became greedy for seconds. there's no end to this, not that he can see.

      his wrath is withheld by a smile, almost too serene and worriless. it deceives what 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 eyes flaunt, for they harbor something malevolent yet pensive around the edges. odd, how familiar he became with that gaze. noticing the fluctuating emotion, knowing when they were searching for answers and brightening once finding a solution an elongated draw from the cigarette ensues before it elegantly flicked away, settling afar and still burning softly in the corner of his sight. geto leveled upon one knee, guiding with a secured hold and forcing his head to crook at an angle. their mouths were flush and suspended without touching, he could feel a thumb pry at the corner of his mouth. molars were itching to grind down, but as smoke poured into him ... brows pinched together, lids descending and shutting away the source for this 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒 washing over him.

      nicotine was a saving grace from anguish, temporarily vanishing from an unrelenting mind. one filled to the brim with horrors, and meaningless atrocities carried out by his hand. it was like an embrace , however short-lived once lips pressed against his own. replacing pleasure with repulsion as vision nearly penetrated through him, tasting tobacco fumes on that venturing tongue and attempting to avoid it despite being constrained. ❛ sick fuck. ❞ voice is muffled, steadfast chains suppressing his urge to strike back and 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 as arms twisted against their opposing pull / what the hell was he doing ? intimacy such as kissing was something they never entertained, it's undignified with whores more so with those you utterly despise. @vzmky