Passive Suicidality - Tumblr Posts

TW: talks about suicide ideation and death

I genuinely could not care less if I was run over a car right now.

Does anyone else get that feeling? Like I want to die but I'm not going to kill myself but if the opportunity to pass away without it being directly my fault and it was circumstance the only thing that would remove me from the position which I am in danger of being killed is that A) my mama, dad, and siblings will be sad B) My aunty who I spend most of my time with will be sad C) the few friends I still have will either never know because they go to a different school now and my other friend's+cousin will meet up next youth night and I'm not sure the dynamic will change.

So curiosity, guilt, and fear of being in pain before dying are the only real things keeping me alive at this point.

"Sometimes I wish I was never born at all" suicidal [passive suicidality], not "bye, going to jump off a cliff" suicidal [active suicidality], is a difference I wish therapists understood and respected lol