Pda Profile - Tumblr Posts
people with PDA, you are not a horrible person for not voting this year. Voting is important, but it doesn't make you terrible for literally being unable to vote. I'm old enough to register, have been for a year, but haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Why? It's a demand. I don't realize how much my PDA affects me until it does, in which case I find myself wanting to scream and cry at the thought of doing something, especially something so important. This makes me feel like a hypocrite, a failure, a traitor to the multiple communities I'm a part of whose lives are at stake this year. But I'm not any of these fucking things, and neither are you.
I try to urge people who are in the space to vote to do so when I can, because that's something I can do. All that matters for me is that I do what I can, when I'm able. People seem to forget about those of us with PDA when telling those who are old enough to vote, and I'm frankly tired of feeling like I'm personally responsible for the downfall of America because of how my brain works. I'm not, and you're not either.
And Did You Know…that that is part of the reason why “appears comfortable in role play and pretend” became a “key criteria” for PDA? (PDA = Pathological Demand Avoidance, or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy.)
For a long time it was considered an essential part of PDA, but it was changed to “optional” not too long ago. And for good reason. We know now that plenty of autistic people do engage in imaginative play and role play, AND that not all PDAers do.
While role play is very often just for fun, no matter who you are, it can also sometimes be used as a coping mechanism. It can be used to get out of things, or to make it easier to get through something challenging, or even as a way to mask.
It’s not always a cause for concern, but if you find your person (or yourself) spending more time as someone/something else than as themselves (or yourself), it might be a sign that some changes are needed. For example, you may need to lower stress/demands, or you may to ensure there are more places where they feel safe being themselves.
But again, it’s not always a bad thing! If your child does use role play as a way to cope or avoid things, it’s okay to just go with it in the moment. If it helps them get through doing a hard thing, just play along! If they use it to try and “get out of something,” hear that they’re telling you they can’t handle it for some reason. Maybe there’s something in their way that you could help with, or maybe they just need you to back off right now.
This is talked about a lot more in the PDA community than in the wider autistic community, so hopefully this brings awareness to people who haven’t yet come across it. But I do wanna reiterate that it is not all PDAers and not only PDAers who use role play in this way (or at all). So don’t let anyone try to tell you that you or your kid is or isn’t something over this particular trait alone.
(Image description in Alt Text.)
PDA autistic culture is hating the demand that comes with labels so much that you don’t even like identifying as agender because it still feels like…a gender (a concept which society forcefully imposed on you, and you therefore want no part of)