Pupmaxx Vent - Tumblr Posts

me yesterday when i was acting delusinal

It feels as if my whole world is on fire again. I cannot seem to control the visions my mind is putting forth.

tw vent

i feel like ive been binging a lot lately :( i need to lock in for tomorrow bc my diet starts i gotta make sure i burn cals and be constant and reists than regret i cant wait to look better than ever

tw 3d rant/vent

i wish i had a phone right now so that i can track fasts better when i was fasting i lost so much weight and i did it all the right way i fasted 16hrs everyday, 700c omads, 100-500 jumping jacks a day, 3-5k steps daily, like cmon man now that i have none of my tracking stuff i cant tell if anything im doing is working i feel a bit out of control in that sense bc istg i want to lost the weight but idk if its working bc my scale broke, my eating gets monitored from time to time, and i have no damn phone >:( if i had a phone istg i wouldve been at my gw by now it took me a damn month to get 6lbs away from my gw BUT THEN I BINGED AND GOT MY PHONE TAKEN AND BAKERACTED RAAAGGGHHHH GET ME OUT I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL OF THIS FOR FUCKING ONCE IN MY LIFE i js want my cute tracker that reminds me to drink water, my scale that shows both lbs nd kg, and my safe foods ;-; if i had all of that then id be set id have the perfect skinny fall anyway im getting a phone soon so hopefully i can literally lock in more than i am now and start making some damn progress and then after that i can go raving and wear cute small fits that show off my hips nd collarbones

i wish i kept up drawing as a hobby :/ i dont draw anymore and my skills have seriously depleted i failed at the one thing i was good at ive always been known as the art kid, always picked on for projects, always boasted about to family all because i knew how to put shapes together to create a person now i really have nothing that im good at im not good at dancing, i dont read anymore, i can barely sing, and now i dont draw which makes me feel so shitty bc now what do i tell interviewers about myself? what do i tell people who want to get to know me? how do i tell my family that my hobbies arent mine anymore why do i have to fail at the things im good at??? why do i fail at loosing w^!ght, why do i fail at art, why do i fail at dancing, why are my skills nothing compared to what people my age are doing there are people younger than me who do the same things i used to love doing but better everyone else is better than me and now i feel like theres no point in continuing it all i hate feeling competitive

intro <3 READ B4 INTERACTION

TW for edz, h0rny shat, sh, drvgz, all those bad copin mechs (mainly ed and random vents abt my life)

hey im maxx (any nickname with maxx- in it is ok!!) and welcome to my blog!! i basically post whatever i want but i mostly vent here :)) my pronouns are he/him/it/its/pup!! im a FtM puppykitty kin (no i dont have did or osdd) please block dont report i love my lil vent space bc its all that i have :') i suspect i have bpd and audhd and some kind of psychosis hallucination issue lol :P im a pretty weird guy so thats a warning also lol im interesting in psychology, art, singing, dancing, most kinds of music, and literally so much other stuff that i cant possibly put all here bc then this intro will get boring and too long LMAO i will say stuff that makes it seem like im not ok and all i ask is that u do not dm asking about it unless i explicitly say that i need someone to vent to

tw for sh nd ed stats dont like then dont read ffs sh tw - ive been cvtt!ng since 5th grade - ive hit styro - ive been sh free for about 6 months - ive cvt on my thighs, chest, stomach, arms, nd knees ed tw - ive dealt with afrid, ednos, mia, nd ana - started taking shit seriously earlier this year - im 5'2 / 157cm - gw: 100, hw: 131, lw: 116, cw: ??? dni!! - any form of -phobic, -ist, -ism that is inherantly hateful - anyone over the age of 30 - people who arent ok with serious dark topics - bee and pupycat haters

interests!! - kpop (2nd, 3rd, nd 4th gen) - bee and puppycat - 4chan - anime - psychology - video games (hzd, hfw, d2, cod, r6s) - music (metal, rnb/soul, edm, white girl pop) my tags!! pupmaxx post pupmaxx posting pupmaxx asks pupmaxx rant pupmaxx vent pupmaxx reblog anyway thats me!! i hope u enjoy ur time scrolling thru my blog :))

tw super big vent

ive been feeling like dr!nkng, doing d4vgz, es-hing my face nd b0de, cvt7!ng off all my hair, running away to an empty parking lot and get b@k3racted. idky its so specific but it is and idk how to describe it. ik its self destructive nd its incredibly harmful if i were to do so. i wouldnt even know what to tell my aunt like how to tell her that i want to do all of this JUST BECAUSE. like i dont wanna kayemes AT ALL i js want to do all of this its such a strong urge im so fucking BORED like i wanna get crossed, give myself a sick ash buzzcut, cool face $c4r, more $c4rs on the b0de, then get help bc thats not normal like ik how im feeling rn isnt normal at all plus id prob need med support actually no wait not a normal person wait ok this is all in itself z3lf-harp(m) thats why ok i need to figure out why im feeling like this whats making me feel like this ok chat time to do some personal self exploration

i actually ended up having that donut lol BUT I STILL GOT TO ONE OF MY GWS!!! nd then gained it all :D i need a scale, a phone, nd a freaking apple watch AAAACCCKKGGHHHHH

gonna sob i want a donut

taking a break

heyyyyyyyyy im taking a break from the 3d side of tblr come check me out!! untitled

IM BACK BITCHES AND I AM SO READY TO LOCK TF IN