Namjoon One Shot - Tumblr Posts

At That Place

Genre: Exes AU, Exes To Lovers, Slight Coffee Shop AU, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Warnings: none, more of a drabble than a one shot

Synopsis: You run into your ex at the coffee shop you both used to frequent.

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"You still come here, too?" a voice behind you asked. You immediately recognized the voice as your ex-boyfriend, Namjoon. 

"It still has the best cup of tea in Seoul." 

The truth was you had avoided the place for the first three months after the break up. But, after another failed relationship and a few more months, you no longer thought it would be awkward if you ran into Namjoon. 

That was until you realized he looked even better than when you were together. His hair was a light pink now and he wore a jean jacket that made you want to do nothing more than rip it off. 

"Miss?" the barista queried after you hadn't stepped forward. 

"Sorry," you said, shaking the boy from your head. However, just as you were about the order, he stepped forward. 

"Still have the same order?" 

You nodded and he ordered your favorite milk tea as well as his plain one. He paid and you stepped off to the side. 

"You really didn't have to do that," you said, pulling out the cash to pay him back. 

He knew refusing you would be pointless so he took the money from you and stuffed it into his pants pocket. 

"Just like old times." He smirked and you couldn't help but roll your eyes slightly. You remember how on every date you would insist on paying him back for your portion of the meal. 

You two find a table, unconsciously gravitating towards the end booth you two always used to claim for hours as you kept Namjoon company as he wrote songs.  

"So how have you been? Working on a new comeback?"  

"As always." 

The barista brought each of your teas and smiled as she walked away. You took the opportunity to sip your tea and escape the awkwardness for a few moments. 

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It was funny Namjoon ran into you. You'd been on his mind as of late. All those songs he wrote about you when the two of you were together, they were just getting to in their comeback schedule.

You looked good. Better even. He couldn't lie, he'd occasionally check your Instagram and Twitter, kept tabs on you. The break up had felt like a mistake as soon as he had said the words six months ago. 

"You cut your hair," he said. 

"Oh yeah," you said, instinctively reaching up stroking the ends of your hair. "I'm not sure if I like it yet. But it certainly makes it easier to get ready in the morning." 

He smiled. You always used to ramble when you were nervous. 

"It looks nice." 

It certainly made all those lines about your long hair awkward now. 

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"So, how're the members? I haven't seen then, well, since, you know..." 

"Good," he said. "We're all a bit stressed with the comeback and all. I'm sure they'd love to see you if you ever wanted to stop by the studio. We could play you some stuff from the new album." 

You looked down at your half-gone tea and twisted the straw around the cup. 

"Maybe," you said. "I'd love to see them, but I got a promotion and my schedule has been hectic lately." 

Namjoon smiled. "Congratulations on the promotion."

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You don't how you got on the topic, but all the prior awkwardness began to melt away. 

"God, that was the worst decision I ever made. I should've never let Hoseok and Jimin persuade me to take dance lessons with them. I could barely walk the next day!" 

Namjoon laughed, his smile caused your stomach to rumble happily. You wished it would stop. He had broken up with you, he broke your heart, you knew you shouldn't still feel this way about him. 

"They still said I was better than you." 

You bit you lip and playfully kicked him under the table. 

His smile soon disappeared into a frown, but the look in his eyes made you want to lean across the table and kiss him until you were both out of breath. 

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Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed when he found out you had a new boyfriend a few months after the break up. But that was why he broke up with you. You needed someone with a normal life. Someone that wouldn't get swarmed by fans and cameras on dates and someone who wasn't so into their work they would sometimes forget their girlfriend. 

He'd also be lying if he said he wasn't a little happy when your status switched back over to "Single".  Ultimately he wanted you to be happy, but there was a selfish part of him that wished you would take him back. He wondered if you still went to that tea shop in Insa-dong. 

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"I should really be going," you finally said, after the conversation had gone on for an hour. You had finished your tea twenty minutes before, but you had hated to leave just when the conversation had finally lost its awkward quality. 

"Me too," Namjoon said, picking up the remainder of his tea. "The members will be wondering where I go to." 

He held out his hand and you took it expecting a polite handshake. But as soon as your hand touched his, you felt something slip into it. When he pulled his hand away, you found the money you had given him earlier and a note that read, 

"You know how to contact me. :)"

Inhibition

Genre: Choreographer!Reader, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Namjoon needs help loosening up and getting out of his head when dancing. You decide to take him to a club.

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You waited outside the door of the practice room patiently. You couldn't believe for your first in the field training would be with actual idols, let alone BTS.

The lead choreographer opened the door and motioned for you to come in. You walked in and bowed politely to the idols. They returned the formality before sitting down cross legged on the floor.

"Boys, this is Y/N. She'll be teaching you the choreography for next week's special stage. This is part of her graduating project at the university, so please take this seriously."

The choreographer nodded when he knew they understood and politely wished you luck and left the room.

vVv

"All right, uh, first, I'll show you everything once through so you can get a good idea of what everything will look like."

You pulled out an IPad and showed them the choreography as performed by you and a few other students. With variation by member, it was much easier to show them the dance cohesively at first and then work individually with each member. At least, that's what you hoped.

You pointed out the positioning of each member with a pen, so that each member could easier learn their part.

"All right, let's work on everything from the hook to the bridge," you said.

vVv

After the first day, the boys had nailed the beginning part of the song. You were quite impressed with their progress. They only had a week to learn the choreography before the performance and at the rate they were going, they would have plenty of time to fine tune everything beforehand.

You packed your things into your duffel bag, ready to fall into bed as soon as you got home. Due to all day dance practices, your only homework was to record the experience. Something you fully planned on doing afterwards.

"Excuse me?" a voice said, accompanied with a knock on the door frame.

You looked up and saw Namjoon ducking shyly into the room.

"Yes?" you asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you, especially as you were leaving, but I was wondering if you could go over the choreography with me? I'm not very happy with how my part turned out today."

"Sure, Namjoon," you said. You'd noticed that Namjoon was a bit stiff during some of the moves or hadn't quite grasped all of them. However, you weren't overly concerned because they were easy mistakes to correct once he learned all the choreography. Of course, you'd corrected all the boys on the larger things, but they were all used to dancing by now that most of the mistakes were small ones. "What particularly were you concerned about?"

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"Namjoon!"

You couldn't help but laugh as he made the same exact mistake as before, even though you'd corrected it and shown him how to do it multiple times.

"All right, uh, watch me again."

You repeated the move and sighed a Namjoon once again did the move incorrectly. Well, it was technically correct, but the move looked awkward and stiff. You thought for a moment, before rushing back over to your bag and pulling out a mask and a baseball cap you kept in there in case your hair was too greasy after dance practice.

"Put these on and wait here," you said.

You went to the bathroom and changed into a pair of black joggers, a cool graphic crop top, and a jean jacket. You were thankful you had brought a decent change of clothes that day, at least one you could go out in.

Entering the practice room once again, you noticed Namjoon had listened to you and wore the mask and baseball cap.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"You're going to learn to lose your inhibition."

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Somehow you managed to charm your way into the club and made your way onto the crowded floor.

"I don't think this is the best idea," Namjoon said. "I could get recognized and then we'd both be in trouble."

You took his hands and led him out deeper towards the middle of the dance floor. The gesture took him by surprise and shut him up momentarily.

"Come on, dance! Don't think about it, just listen to the beat and do whatever feels natural."

You swayed your hips to the beat and danced the way you originally fell in love with you. There was still a part of you that just loved to let loose and dance, not worry about choreography or even the lines looking perfectly, just letting the beat tell you how to move.

You felt Namjoon's eyes watching you intently, but ignored it as you continued to dance. You should be used to people watching you dance by now, but something about the way he watched you made a shiver run down your spine.

Eventually, he gave in and joined you. At first, he was still slightly awkward and stiff, but after a few more songs he began to loosen up. You teased him slightly by showing off and moving in ways he couldn't.

After a couple hours, you were exhausted and you could tell Namjoon was too based on the way his hair laid against his forehead and his eyelids drooped.

"Come on, let's go back."

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"It's late," Namjoon said, once you were out of the club. "Why don't you just come back to the dorm with me?"

You were a little taken aback.

"You didn't sneak a drink in there, did you?" you asked, trying to play off the question.

Namjoon sighed. "Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I--" He sighed again, taking hold of the bridge of his nose. "We have to be back in the studio in a few hours anyway. I just thought it might be easier to go back together."

You smiled. "That's thoughtful, but I wouldn't want to intrude on the members, or accidentally cause a scandal."

"The members wouldn't mind and I understand. Will you at least let me take you home?"

You nodded and hailed a taxi for the two of you.

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You stood backstage anxiously as the boys took to the stage. You were nervous, considering the final performance reflected on you and your skills as a choreographer.

The boys had worked hard over the past week and you were confident they would do wonderfully. You'd even exchanged numbers to stay in contact with them after you went on to work with other idols.

You twisted the hem of your dress nervously. This wasn't really your scene, a fancy awards show. You felt slightly uncomfortable, afraid you'd do something to reflect badly on the boys.

You looked down at your phone for the first time in hours and saw a text from Namjoon.

"You taught me to lose my inhibition. It's my turn, now ;)

Maid To Be

Genre: Regency AU, slight friends to lovers

Pairing: Namjoon/Named Reader

Warnings: Accidental groping, awkward Joon, a little cringe at times but in a cute way

Synopsis: Marriage wasn’t something you thought about much as a maid. You knew you would end up wherever your mistress, Dorothea, did. Despite the encouragement of your employers, you planned to live your life as Dorothea’s maid forever. When her attractive cousins come to visit, you can’t help but notice how much they’ve changed.

Note: A continuation to “Rabbit Hunting” and part of my larger Regency AU series of one shots.

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"Miss Cooke!" Mrs. Kim called from the entrance parlor. You dropped the duster and rushed out to the main parlor where the elder Miss Kim, a basket full of wildflowers and her hair and absolute mess. "Please help Thea dress for supper tonight. It seems she couldn't keep her composure during one simple outing."

Dorothea rolled her eyes and headed towards the room, dropping the wildflowers off on the table near the door. She seemed to have a dreamy look in her eyes. The elder sister was always prone to fantasies--both Kim sisters were in fact--but there was something different about the glaze over her eyes. If you didn't know any better, you would guess this wasn't just any morning walk.

"Oh, Miss Cooke what am I going to do with that girl? It'll be a miracle if I can find a gentleman to marry her. A gentleman is more likely to fall for a maid like you than a girl like her, even with her breeding!"

"Oh, Mrs. Kim, I'm sure that's not true," you said, ignoring Mrs. Kim's slight on your station. She hadn't meant any offense, but you still felt like you'd been punched in the stomach. "Any man would be lucky to marry either of your daughters. Now, would you like me to send for some tea? Maybe that will help you relax before we have out visitors."

"That sounds lovely, Miss Cooke."

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"Oh Eliza, he was so infuriating! Insulting our sex and then suddenly changing his mind! And, I don't even know what favor he wanted to ask me!" You tightened Dorothea's corset causing the last syllable to come out a slightly higher pitch.

"Yet, you're still hoping there'll be a ball so that you can dance with him." You raised your eyebrow as the girl turned around and you helped her into her dress. Dorothea blushed. The girl was a couple years younger than you and you'd been with her family so long that the Kim sisters felt more like your younger sisters than your mistresses.

"Well, it would be improper of me to turn him down if he asks." You laughed and Dorothea soon joined you.

"Your mother will be thrilled. If he's interested that is," you said. "It sounds like he's a suitable gentleman. Considering he's friends with your cousins."

"I can only hope," Dorothea said. "Who knows, maybe there will be a gentleman for you?" She nudged your side lightly as she sat down at her vanity and allowed you to brush your hair. You brushed it out and braided it back into a bun in a way that flattered her face.

"Oh, don't be silly, Thea," you said. "A gentleman would never look my way. And, even if they did, they would know it's improper."

"Maybe you'll find one that doesn't care about propriety. If my memory serves me correctly, didn't you and my cousin, Seokjin, have a flirtation the last time they visited?"

You laughed. "Seokjin and I are simply a friendly flirtation. We are good friends, that's all Thea. The man is a natural flirt and I like to tease him about it."

"Oh, wouldn't it be marvelous if you married one of my cousins! We'd be cousins then, Eliza!"

"Thea, you know I will go to whatever estate you end up the Lady of. I will never leave you."

"Oh Eliza, I hope you meet a rich gentleman, so you don't have to be a maid anymore."

"I like being a maid."

Dorothea looked at you like a forlorn puppy, and huffed slightly. After a few moments of taking in your figure, her face lit up and she told you wait there for a moment. When she came back she carried a small bundle of wildflowers, she held a few up against your hair before sliding a violet colored flower behind your ear.

"Please wear it while you serve supper," Eliza said. "I wish you could eat with us."

"Your mother is already kind with allowing the staff to eat the nice food that you and the gentlemen eat. Don't worry about me, worry about wooing Mr. Jeon tonight."

The mention of the gentleman's name caused the girl to become dreamy once again. She sat down at her vanity and began to put the finishing touches on her look.

"Now, don't do anything too strenuous that will ruin your hair. Your mother will blame me this time."

The girl nodded and left the room to work on the centerpieces. As you worked, you remembered the last time the Kim brothers visited. They were much younger, Seokjin being the only one who was close to marrying age. You'd heard he, too, hadn't married. You'd had a girlish crush on the eldest brother, so much so, that you only had a few memories of the two younger ones.

They all treated you as if you were their cousin and not their maid. They knew Mrs. Kim had taken you in as a charity when you were a young orphaned girl with nowhere else to go. She was the closest thing to a mother you had. She was kind enough to teach you some skills, in the hopes that you may marry someone with a decent job that would allow you to work less or if you were lucky, not at all. But, you would never reach the level of the Kims. It wasn't unheard of, but so rare you didn't dare dream. You weren't like Dorothea, you didn't have the money to dream.

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"Miss Cooke, it's wonderful to see you again," Seokjin said, allowing you to take off his jacket and place it in the closet.

"A pleasure as always, Mr. Kim." You turned to see more men working their way into the parlor. All of them handsome. All of them filthy rich. By the time the carriages were unloaded, there were seven in all.

You spotted one with a yellow flower tucked into his collar and you smiled in recognition of Mr. Jeon. His eyes seemed to be flitting around the parlor and up the stairs.

"Looking for the elder, Miss Kim?" you asked, smirking.

"Um, uh, yes, how did you know?"

"Ah, Miss Cooke knows everything around here," Taehyung said, coming through the door and clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You really should get on her good side."

You smiled at Taehyung, immediately remembering his boxy smile and the way he had been infatuated with you when you were children.

You helped each man out of their coat learning their names as you went: Mr. Jeon, Mr. Min, Mr. Jung, and Mr. Park. The middle Kim brother was the last one. He was the one you didn't remember all that well. He had always been the tallest, but he was very shy growing up, opting most of the time to keep himself content in the library.

"Mr. Kim, you've matured much since I last saw you," you said, taking his jacket and hanging it beside the rest of the men's jackets.

"You have as well, Miss Cooke."

When you turned back around, you met his eyes, the first time in the interaction. You hardly remembered how handsome he was: his intelligent eyes and dimples nearly knocking you off your feet.

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Dinner was a frenzy. You worked to serve all the food at once. You had just sat down a plate of vegetables and turning to head back to the kitchen when you felt something brush the backside of your skirt.

You face reddened and you turned around, in disbelief that any of the so-called gentlemen would touch you in such a way, but when you met eyes with the guilty gentleman, he seemed just as embarrassed as you. Namjoon's eyes were wide and he was holding up his hands.

"Miss Cooke, please don't think that I would mean to touch you in such away. I was simply trying to reach out for attention. Please forgive me."

"'Tis nothing, sir. I can see from your face you had no ill intentions."

You quickly excused yourself to the kitchen and never met the man's eyes again. You heard indistinct chattering among the guests, but could clearly hear the Namjoon's brother's teasing him.

"I would've paid to see Miss Cooke take a whack at you," Taehyung said. "When she turned around it certainly looked like she wanted to."

"The look on your face must've frazzled her. She's never called any of us 'sir' before."

The other's boys laughed and you made a point to tune out the rest of their conversation as you ate in the kitchen with the rest of the staff.

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"Miss Cooke," Namjoon said to you as you retrieved his jacket for him that night. Just like when he arrived, he was the last one to leave. "I want to apologize for what happened at dinner. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's quite all right, Mr. Kim. Accidents happen and a little embarrassment is good for the ego."

Mr. Kim turned around his gaze felt hot against your skin. "Oh, I nearly forgot," he said, reaching into his pocket. Your eyes widened when he pulled out the small violet flower Miss Kim had placed behind your ear earlier that day. "You dropped this while you were serving. That's, uh, why I was trying to get your attention before."

He hesitantly reached up and placed it back behind you ear, smoothing back your hair as he did so, you ensure it wouldn't become tangled around the plant.

"I thought you might want it back. It flatters you."

You blushed and curtsied to thank him. He left with a polite farewell and as you closed the door you felt like all the air drained out of the room.

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You had managed to avoid the Kim brothers and specifically Namjoon all day. You'd of course greeted them, but you felt you cheeks grow warm when Namjoon smiled when he spotted the flower still tucked behind your ear. You knew you couldn't be around him the rest of the day or else you might lose your composure.

It was nearly the end of the day and you'd finished your duties early, Mrs. Kim insisting that you take the night off. Even telling you that the Kim brothers wouldn't mind seeing themselves out.

The night before they had announced that they were hosting a ball at Finchfield. The two Miss Kims had been so delighted it was all they could talk about. You were happy that Dorothea was finally going to get to dance with Mr. Jeon, because it was obvious from the night before that the feelings were mutual. And, you were sure the younger Miss Kim would find a suitable partner as well.

You entered the library--your favorite place to go whenever Mrs. Kim allowed you the night off--and you were startled to find the three brother's inside. The furniture pushed to the side while Taehyung and Namjoon stood across from each other, halfway through the steps of a country dance.

"Miss Cooke!" Seokjin said. "What impeccable timing! We were just complaining about the lack of female partners. We were just teaching Namjoon how to dance. I'm not sure how he got this far into life without learning how to do a simple Country Dance."

"The offer flatters me, Mr. Kim. But, wouldn't one of your cousins be a much more suitable partner?"

"Ah, but see Miss Cooke, my younger brother is embarrassed to admit to his younger cousins that he does not know how to dance. Please will you save him the embarrassment?"

"See, the thing is, Mr. Kim, I don't know how to dance either."

"Even more perfect! Namjoon won't be as embarrassed if his partner also can't dance! It might make our job harder, but we're willing to sacrifice."

You could already see through the Kim brother's antics, but it appeared Namjoon was nearly as embarrassed as you, but as you went to stand across from him, he bowed politely.

The dance was simple, you'd seen it a few times when balls were held at the Kim estate, but you were never allowed to attend a ball as a guest.

You followed the instructions, meeting Namjoon's eyes only for a moment, before pulling away again. Your hands softly touched as you swiftly came together before pulling apart again.

"Your flower hasn't wilted," he said, nodding towards the flower tucked behind your ear.

"I put it in water last night," you said. "I want to make sure it lasts as long as possible."

"Mr. Jeon did the same with his. I think he's really quite taken with my cousin."

"Hm, I should think so. She's quite taken with him as well. She talks about how infuriating he is, but I can see straight through her. Last night was the first time I've seen her speechless."

When Dorothea had walked in and spotted Mr. Jeon with the flower tucked into his collar, she couldn't keep the blush off her cheeks or the smile off her face.

"I expect I'll be moving to Mr. Jeon's estate within the year."

The dance stopped.

"Why would you move to Mr. Jeon's?"

"I plan to go wherever the eldest Miss Kim goes," you said. "Our bond is that of sisters and I can't think of living here without her."

"Oh, I see." Taehyung cleared his throat which caused you and Namjoon to look back over at the youngest brother. "Ah, yes, thank you, Miss Cooke for humoring my brothers, and for the dance. You're not a bad dancer, although, I may not be the best judge of that."

You curtsied and quickly grabbed the book you had come in for and left the library on shaky legs, trying to get the feel of the light touches from the dance off your hands.

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It was the night of the dance and you had settled into the window seat of the library. You had nearly the whole manor house to yourself, except for the other staff. You had just finished the first chapter of a new novel when the library door opened.

"Mr. Kim! Shouldn't be headed to the ball?"

"Uh, yes," he said. "Yes, I should. But, I couldn't go without reserving my first dance for the person who taught me to dance. And, it will give me one last practice."

"Oh, Mr. Kim, I'm flattered, but I don't want to make you late."

"I will always have time for you, Miss Cooke. But, if you truly don't wish to dance with me, allow me to add to your collection."

He reached out and handed you a book--a modern collection of poetry. "I saw you took a book of poetry yesterday. I thought you might enjoy this one. I have another copy back home, so feel free to keep this one."

Your eyes became misty. It was the first book you owned. You always borrowed from the library which Mrs. Kim was generous to allow you to do in the first place.

"Finchfield has a wonderful library, too. I'm not sure why the previous owner left it, but perhaps one day if you accompany Miss Kim, I can find a reason for you to spend the day there."

"Mr. Kim, this is all too much. How can I ever thank you?"

"Allow me to the pleasure of the first dance?"

"Of course," you said.

You both stumbled through the steps. You didn't quite remember and Namjoon hadn't quite perfected it yet, but when your hands touched for the brief moment, you were overcome with joy. You knew it couldn't last and that you and Mr. Kim could never be together, but even for the moment it felt like you were more than a maid. You were allowed to dream for just a moment.

Namjoon left not long after the dance, leaning down to kiss your hand before he left, something he would never do if anyone else were around.

You set aside the novel and opened up the book of poetry. Inside he had written a short inscription: May the prettiest flower never wilt.

Waiting For Superman

Genre: Superhero AU, Comic Book AU?, Journalist Namjoon, Journalist OC, best friends to lovers, Action, Angst if you squint, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury, hospitalization, bombings, hostage situations, kidnapping, uses chloroform to make someone unconscious, alcohol, physics lol

Synopsis: After your father, one of the top antimatter scientists is killed in his laboratory by villain Outlier, you and your best friend, Namjoon survive the only known antimatter bomb, you both go on to be two of the top journalists in Metropolis. Only, there’s something off about you that most people can’t put their finger on. Namjoon is the only one who notices, not even you know your biggest secret. Hoping to protect you from Outlier, Namjoon also guards a secret of his own.

Note: This is the beginning of a new AU series. This is also in the same universe as my Jin imagine, Heartbreak Weather. This story will continue in the background of future installments.

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"Damn," you said, looking through the article proposals for the week. "I have five proposals to do a story on the two weathermen that got together. Is nothing else interesting happening in Metropolis?" Reaching into your desk, you pulled out your lunch consisting only of a slightly too brown banana. You frowned. "I hate to say it, but it's really too bad that Outlier has been so quiet lately."

Namjoon chuckled. "You'd wish for a little peril in Metropolis if it made a good story." His lips curled upward and he adjusted his slightly too large glasses.

You smiled at your head writer's sarcasm. "Just a little peril. Not too much." Turning around to place the accepted and rejected proposals in their respective boxes, you returned to find a bright yellow banana sitting on your desk. It made you pause, but you shrugged as you peeled it open. "Besides, Antimatter Man always stops whatever his antics are."

"It's not always Antimatter Man."

You hummed in response, already marking up an article in red pen. "Most of the time though."

The conversation lulled, but it didn't feel awkward. You'd worked with Namjoon for nearly three years now, but known him much longer. You were his soundboard and he was your common sense.

"Maybe we do a piece on his recent quietness?"

You looked up. Namjoon already met your eyes. He sat with one leg on top of the other, forming a triangle and his arms crossed over his chest. You'd noticed the way his clothes began to fit tighter, stretching over new muscles. It surprised you. Namjoon never seemed like the athletic type. You were more likely to find him studying physics at the city library for his newest piece on Antimatter Man than in the gym building a physique rivaling a marble statue.

"That seems like a good idea." The pen pressed to your lips you didn't notice the way the ink blotted against your lips. "You wanna take it on?"

"Sure." He pushes one leg off the other and stands up. "I'll try to have it to you by morning."

You nod, trusting him fully to have his piece ready for the morning edition. He moved towards the door and you felt as he paused. Even though you weren't looking at him, you could tell the way he stood, with his hand gripping the door frame, his body half in, half out.

"Don't stay too late, Y/N. He might be quiet now, but you know that won't be forever."

You did know. Maybe more than anybody.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Outlier first started terrorizing the Greater Metropolis area when you were twelve. It started off typical. A few particularly successful bank robberies netted him more than enough money for a lifetime. If it were you, you would've taken the money and moved far away, lived out the rest of your days peacefully. But, Outlier didn't want just the money. 

When you were fifteen, however, it all changed. 

It was nearly 9 pm. Your father had not returned home from work. It wasn't all around unusual. He often pulled long hours at the lab. But you felt an itch at the back of your spine. Like a spider crawling up each vertebrae like a ladder. 

You called Namjoon. He was the only person you knew with a car, and the only one you knew wouldn't ask too many questions. Twenty minutes later, his headlights showed through the curtains of your bedroom. 

"Hey," he said. His voice greeted you, full of exhaustion and the buoy that had bounced back and forth in the water between you. 

Namjoon was your longest friend. You met in Kindergarten when you'd come across Namjoon in the back corner of the playground. Pushed against the pavement, two second graders tore off his glasses and put them on, mimicking his front teeth that stuck out before he got braces in high school.

You'd chased them off, managing to pick up his glasses off the ground. They were still broken, but you helped Namjoon tape them to get through the rest of the day. Since that day, you'd become almost inseparable. That was until you got a boyfriend.

You, of course, accused Namjoon of being jealous when he didn't immediately take to the idea of you and Vincent. Though, despite the accusation, you knew it was far from the truth. It wasn't hard to see that Vincent was bad for you. He was the reason your grades began to drop, why you knew the familiar burn of whiskey down your throat, and why were spending that night--Valentine's Day--alone.

"You haven't heard anything from him?" Namjoon backed out of your driveway before you even managed to get the seatbelt hooked. 

You shook your head. "He normally calls if he's running late."

It takes another twenty minutes to reach your dad's work. Located just outside the city, you could see Longevity Labs ten minutes before you reach it. Up on a hill, it was agonizing watching the building cycle in and out of view with every turn and switchback.

When you get there, you look up to the fourth floor where your father's lab was. The lights were still on and you felt the coil in your chest unravel a little. Though not completely. 

The elevators in Longevity Labs had been broken for years now and you didn't pay them any mind as you walked to the staircase and climbed the four floors. Namjoon stayed close behind, though you didn't speak. It wasn't the first time the two of you had come to the labs together when you'd become worried. After losing your mom when you were young, a burr of worry attached itself to your heart and poked you when your father wasn't home by eight.

The metal of the doorknob felt warm. There were plenty of reasons for that, you rationalized. Your father was one of the top scientists in Metropolis, he worked with all sorts of dangerous things that could need a warm environment, or cause one.

You pushed the door open and met your father's eyes. They were wide open and empty. A silent scream falling from his wide open mouth. Your vision blurred and the thing you remember next is feeling Namjoon's hand on your shoulder as his voice elevated. It was only then you noticed that you weren't alone.

"What are you doing here?" Namjoon asked, his voice like the bark of a guard dog. It surprised you. For a boy of barely sixteen at the time, it felt like he suddenly was a man standing beside you. You were still just a tiny girl.

The man wore a mask. Of course he wore a mask. It was white with two diamond shapes for the eyes, only revealing a small bit of his pupil. The man didn't speak when he opened his hand, a metallic orb drifting upwards. He didn't throw it, but the orb moved quickly, like it was falling.

It was only later you learned that it was rigged to move upward like that. Real antimatter would act just like regular matter, nearly indecipherable. This--while true antimatter--was meant to hold your attention long enough. 

The explosion pushed you towards the ceiling. You woke up to a firefighter reaching for your hand. It was only when you took it and tried to place your feet on the ground that you noticed that you and Namjoon ended up pushed through the wall and into the vent system near the ceiling. He wasn't fully awake, yet his arms still reached for you after you were peeled away from his body.

The two of you were the only known survivors of an antimatter bomb. Well, it was more like a grenade. Your father's lab, body, and work was largely destroyed in the explosion, but for some reason, you and Namjoon survived. It's wide believed that there was something wrong with the bomb. That it didn't attack your living cells. 

You and Namjoon did not come out unscathed. Somehow, you got off fairly easy with a broken collarbone, a concussion, and a few deep cuts around your body. Namjoon, on the other hand, never fully awoke for a week. He'd broken three ribs, one of his lungs collapsed, his head injury much worse than yours, permanent damage to his spine. When he woke a week later, you wanted to envelope him in a hug and never let go. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Namjoon found you curled up in the newspaper archives at midnight. He was the only one who knew your Valentine's Day ritual. He moved the papers from your lap and took the glass of wine from your hand before it spilled. Just like every year, the paper was open to your dad's obituary and the news coverage of the explosion.

The edges of the paper were brown and crisped as if they were sixty years old instead of ten. His brow furrowed as he touched them. Between his fingers, the brown edges lightened as he brought them towards the light. 

Ever since that night, your mission was to expose Outlier. You knew he wasn't some superhuman. Your dad worked with antimatter to harness its capabilities for good. For medical applications and using its destruction for renewable energy. Outlier wanted to use antimatter in the way everyone feared. To destroy. 

As he moved the paper with your father's smiling face, he saw another, a jolt running down his spine. The headline took up almost half the page, "New Hero Emerges In Fight Against Outlier."

Outlier's antics became more calculated. Everyone knew he had the capability to use antimatter, but his subsequent movements involved raids of laboratories outside the city and taking a graduate student hostage. No one else died.

It was during the hostage situation that Antimatter first saved the day. It was around a year after your attack and Antimatter Man successfully infiltrated the laboratory and got the hostage to safety before the entire lab exploded. It was only in his next act of heroism that the city realized he was more than just someone who risked his life to save someone. He had powers.

Next time, Antimatter Man disabled a device strapped around a victim's neck with just a touch. It was determined to be a miniature explosive that would've destroyed the man had it gone off. The hero could manipulate antimatter. Destroy it--and was later determined--create it. 

When Antimatter Man caused an explosion in an alleyway, he was lucky that only one bystander died. Like all the previous times he disabled one of Outlier's antimatter devices, he placed his hand on top of it. Instead of feeling the molecules burst like boba, he felt an energy build until it exploded.

Outlier purposely placed a more standard bomb that would explode in the presence of antimatter. It was a test. One Antimatter Man hadn't anticipated. In fact, it was rumored the hero had no idea the full scale of his abilities until that moment. The only reason he came out unscathed is because he was able to clock himself in antimatter to prevent the explosion from destroying him.

Namjoon knew that Outlier knew who Antimatter Man was. While the general public may not know that Antimatter Man was a victim of Outlier, or that he used chunky glasses and the Metropolis Daily to control the public's view of Kim Namjoon and Antimatter Man. Outlier was the only one who knew, not even you.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

The authorities always told you that Outlier may come back. Your father was the most prominent scientist working with antimatter technology and there were likely things Outlier had not figured out yet. He may come for your father's notes. Yet, he never did. 

You weren't too worried about it anymore. It wasn't as if Outlier had a personal vendetta against you or your father. You hadn't seen his face. You'd practically passed out when you saw him, and probably would've had he not dropped the grenade when you locked eyes.

Still, you always watched your back when you walked from the Metropolis Daily office to your apartment. It was only a few blocks, but normally traversed after dark. Sometimes Namjoon came with you, though most of the time you persuaded him to just go back to his own place. Especially this night, you did not want Namjoon to know you didn't plan on going home.

Normally, when you hid your plans from Namjoon, it was because you were heading somewhere dangerous for research. Like the time you drove out into the forest on your own in search of Outlier's supposed hide out, or the time you decided to follow a man suspected to be Antimatter Man. Even as an editor, you still wrote, tending to keep the most hard hitting stories for yourself. Besides, few of your journalists were willing to possibly get close to Outlier. You'd survived once, you felt you could again.

However, this night, you were headed to the club. There was no reason or ulterior motive. You simply wanted to let loose. You knew Namjoon wouldn't like it. He wasn't smothering, he let you make your own decisions and do what you want, but his disapproving and worried looks always cut you deep.

You knew it all came from a place of concern. He always told you how thankful he was that he was with you that night. But, you always fit a pit of guilt in your stomach. Namjoon nearly died because of you. There was no way you were going to let that happen again. 

You'd changed into something sexier before leaving the office, leaving your office clothes in your desk drawer. You always kept an extra set there any way in case you needed to pull an all nighter at the office. It was rare you got to go out and enjoy yourself on a Friday night and you already felt the contentment rising in you as you approached the club and heard the rhythmic thud of bass.

This particular club wasn't one with a line of people which was why you chose it. There was no wait. You could get in and out easily and without fuss. When you didn't get to do things like this often, you wanted to truly get to do them. 

It wasn't long until you lost yourself. In the crowd. In the music. In your thoughts. Or rather, lack thereof. This is why people liked clubbing and loud music. It drowned out your worries. Everything became a constant hum in the back of your skull, where, for once, you could ignore it.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Namjoon had suspicions. It started when no fruit stayed ripe around you. The way that the microwave always sparked when you tried to make popcorn. And no matter what you did, it always ended up just a little too burnt. Nothing you did was ever quite right, but never quite wrong. 

He always found his way to you whether he wanted to or not. It was as if the particles in his body were attracted to yours. Recognized them like their reflection. You got into a car accident two years ago and Namjoon had left work early that day, having felt an aching in his lower stomach. Fearing appendicitis, his supervisor sent him home. 

He'd walked a block when he came upon it. You were sitting on the sidewalk, your hands pulling at the roots of your hair and your feet pointed towards each other. Something caused you to look up then. Namjoon wondered if you had the same uncanny sense he did, if you could put together when the other was in peril. When you saw him, your arms came around him and your shaking body burrowed into his for warmth.

When he was eighteen and you were seventeen, the two of you briefly shared an apartment. Namjoon had started taking classes at the university and you were in your senior year. While your dad had left everything to you--you were all he had--you sold the house a year after your dad died, unable to live there alone. 

You'd come home one night after a basketball game. Namjoon always encouraged you to go, wanting you to feel like a normal high schooler. Though, while he was well intentioned, the efforts were ultimately fraught. You'd left at halftime because you think the concession stand hot dog made you sick. 

Yet, when you came home. You found Joon spread out on the couch, bottles of alcohol spread around him like the crime scene markers around your dad's body. He'll never forget the light touches on his shoulder, then forehead, then bicep. The way it reminded him of feeling just a little too warm on a winter's night, pleasantly so.

His feet brought him to the entrance of the club and his heart sped up. You never came to places like this, but Namjoon knew you had the secret desire to. You'd always loved to dance even though you weren't particularly skilled at it. He walked inside, loitering at the edges of the dancefloor. 

Namjoon had to keep himself from sneering at the sweaty bodies and couples dry humping each other. He never really understood the appeal of clubs. His eyes flit across the crowd, spotting your hair first. Even though you'd worked all day, you looked beautiful still. Your hair a little frizzier than usual and he recognized the tiredness in the way your moved your body to the bet. It wasn't lazy exactly, but it didn't have the same gusto as some of the others around you. 

He wondered if his feeling had been off. Maybe he was just too on edge lately because Outlier had gone so silent. There was a parasite in the back of his mind that fed him anxieties. Was he planning something big? Had he finally figured out to build the bomb he wanted to? Was he committing lower level crimes Namjoon wasn't privy to? Did he know about you? 

Watching you dance, he shook his head. You weren't in any danger. It was just in his head this time. Turning with his hands in his pockets, he took two steps towards the door of the club when he looked back and caught a glimpse of your smile. It was rare these days and not something he wanted to ruin with his worries.

With a small smile of his own, Namjoon left.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You ended the night at around two a.m. You'd had two drinks, not enough to make you stumble out on the sidewalk, but enough to make you feel like you were. Taking off your heels, you gripped them in your fingers as you walked back towards your place. The walk should take fifteen minutes, but in your current state, you found yourself sauntering along as if the streets of Metropolis were perfectly safe in the wee hours of the morning.

If it were not for the alcohol in your system, maybe you would've sensed the presence behind you. Maybe you would've seen the dark shadow lingering behind you for the last two blocks. It wasn't until a hand clamped over your mouth, the other clamped around your jaw to prevent you from biting down on your abductor's fingers.

It was then you tasted it on your tongue. The rough, bleached taste of fabric. Something mildly sweet. Like laughing gas at the dentist.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Namjoon prided himself on his intuition. When you called him the night your father died, he almost ignored it. Nearly blinded by his teenage jealousy, it was a small pain in his stomach that made him answer his phone and rush to you that night. 

He had the same pain now. Just below his ribs this time, he rubbed his fingers along the cotton of his button down as he glanced at your dark, empty office. You hadn't come in for work this morning. No one heard from you last night or this morning. And, despite this being unlike you, no one else seemed concerned. 

You'd gained a reputation for your independence and ability to take care of yourself. You hardly ever asked for help--and while your own mind tended to think that an admirable trait--it only made Namjoon's mind race more. However, this made everyone else go about their day. 

A half hour later Namjoon stood in his boss' office. "I'm not feeling well. Would it be all right if I took the rest of the day off?"

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

When you came to, you immediately noticed the lack of rough rope around your wrists or ankles. When you opened your eyes, however, you noticed the white cuffs floating half an inch from your skin. One cuff circled each wrist and another two around each ankle. You knew enough about how Outlier operated to know about these.

First seen in his second major hostage situation following your father's death, these cuffs did not touch the skin. But, if the hostage moves or tries to escape and their skin brushes the edge of the cuff, the invisible antimatter will attack the matter rich skin, flesh, and bone.

The first hostage to have worn these cuffs lost a hand before she understood how they worked. Now, Outlier gained easy compliance with even just the threat of his antimatter cuffs.

"Ah, so you've heard of them?"

Outlier sat across the room. HIs diamond slit mask shrouded in the shadows of the dimly lit room. It made your heartbeat easier knowing he still wore the mask. It meant he didn't plan on killing you. At least, not yet.

"You know--" Outlier paused, a soft lilt in his voice that annoyed you. Normally, the sort of singsong quality he had would make you flutter your lashes at him across the bar. Outlier's voice though, sounded like a children's song slowed down and played backward. "The technology for those cuffs I developed from some of your dad's research."

He stood up, moving closer. "The ability to suspend antimatter around a given object using the only gas in our world that antimatter cannot destroy. Quite brilliant, really."

As a teenager, you really did not know much about your father's research beyond its main goal: make the world better using the one thing that could destroy it. Your father had seen success in his lifetime. The use of antimatter in some medical technology aided the treatment of cancer and detecting major illnesses. It had saved lives. 

You'd looked over a bit of your father's surviving research, of course. The things you had mainly consisted of experiment notes, a few crude sketches, and one report about a failed experiment. Nothing of value, really. It's why you always brushed off Namjoon's worries that Outlier would come back for it. What did you have that he would want?

"I imagine you know why you're here." Outlier was now only a few feet away and he leaned leisurely against the wall as if he were an old friend visiting your new apartment.

"No, I--"

"But, my assistant has something they want from you first."

Your head turned to the darkness in front of you from where Outlier had originally come. You made out the figure of another man. Smaller in stature, he shuffled slowly into the dim light. He didn't wear a mask, his hair falling into his eyes. 

"My report," he said, his voice hesitant, almost scared. If you didn't know any better you'd believe he was the one being held hostage by Outlier. "Do you have it?"

"Your report?" Your brow furrowed as you thought about the one report you had. It detailed only the attempt to create an anti-oxygen particle. "I-I don't think so." 

The air in the room became stuffy. Outlier seemed not to believe you, his arms crossed. You had no idea who Outlier's assistant was, but you were certain that whatever experiment he was a part of, your father would never have done something to make this man resent him. You almost wished you had the report.

"My assistant, you see," Outlier began in his singsong voice. "Suffers from a particular ailment brought on by one of your father's experiments. It tends to leave people, breathless. Isn't that right, Yoongi?"

The other man--Yoongi--glared at his supervillain boss. Something turned in your stomach. Yoongi didn't appear to be overly loyal to Outlier. Maybe he would be your key to getting out of this. 

"Well, that was merely a favor. His report was never recovered and I thought there was a chance you may have it. But, now onto the real reason I've brought you here."Outlier crouched down, coming face to face with you. "Now, for an experiment of my own."

From his jacket pocket, he pulled out a short rod. Holding it above your bindings, the cuff fell limp and motionless against your wrist. You nearly flinched, worried it would begin cutting through the skin. But, it didn't.

Despite his mask, Outlier's form seemed to perk up at that. As if he had the first evidence that his hypothesis was true. With his thick, black gloves, that you were assumed were made of antimatterium--an element created by your father to make the handling of antimatter safer--Outlier slipped the ring off your wrist.

Reaching pack into his pocket, he pulled out a new ring and placed it around your wrist. It looked identical to the last, white, vaguely metallic with a visible field of matter--or possibly antimatter--surrounding it. Stretching it over your hand, he slipped it around your wrist. 

"It should only take a few minutes." 

Outlier stood back up.

"What's the point of this?" you asked, becoming more frustrated that nothing was happening. You knew you should be thankful you are still alive. It would be easy enough to kill you and rummage through your apartment for whatever he wants. Yet, for some reason, he refrained.

"I imagine you can figure that out on your own." Outlier watched the ring around your wrist carefully. "My biggest foe can only have a mind that rivals my own."

Biggest foe? Your mind turned over the possible meanings of his words until it clicked. "You think I'm Antimatter Man?"

Outlier didn't flinch. "Of course."

You laughed. You couldn't help yourself. While you'd never come to face to face with Antimatter Man himself, it was obvious that the superhero was easily many inches taller than you and his shoulders were easily the entire length of one of your arms.

"Me? Of all people?"

"It would make some sense, wouldn't it? Very few people survive the blast from an antimatter bomb. And those that do often acquire certain--capabilities."

You shook your head. "But, I'm not the only one who survived, Nam--"

You were interrupted by the sound of Outlier's surprise as well as the sound of banging from outside the room. Yoongi--who hadn't been paying attention--suddenly popped his head up and glanced towards the door to your left. With so many things happening at once, you chose to only focus on where Outlier's eyes went.

The ring around your wrist had begun to crumble like cheese. Bits falling off as they became too heavy or lost their support. Squinting your eyes you wondered how this was possible. You didn't get a chance to hop on your train of thought before the door burst open.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Antimatter Man burst into the room. He never wore a specific costume like superheroes were often penchant to do. Normally, he just wore an all black ensemble and a mask, obscuring most of his face. A hat usually then kept his hair hidden, beyond the tiny wisps of light brown you saw peeking out from underneath.

"Let her go," he said, his voice matter of fact and deep and familiar. 

Outlier--to his credit--did seem genuinely surprised. Though, he bounced back quickly, ordering Yoongi to shut the door. The other man did so slowly and pathetically, letting it scrape against the splintered hardwood floor.

"Hmm, well, it would seem your presence here would confirm that my original hypothesis was wrong." A pause and he points down at you. "But I may have a new one."

For some reason, it took you this long to put together that you were destroyed the ring imprisoning your left wrist. Why hadn't the first one crumbled into nothingness like this?

"That ring is made of matter. Like most things in our universe. However, it is designed to crumble when it detects antimatter energy. She produces antimatter energy. Probably in small amounts which is why she and the world haven't destroyed each other yet." He looks back at Antimatter Man who's dark eyes are flitting between you and the villain. "Much like you, my nemesis. You destroy all antimatter you come into contact with through the latent production of pure matter. You really should correct the press on the name, you know?"

Your mind swirled. You created latent antimatter? Did this explain why everything in your life with a timespan seemed to die or wilt quicker than usual? Why people found you just slightly off?

"She has the potential to be my greatest weapon. If I can harness the antimatter inside of her. Determine whatever is producing it, I would no longer need to spend weeks producing such tiny amounts." You were certain that if his mask was off, his face would be lit up like a child's. His hand reached for yours and he pulled you up off the ground. The cuffs shifted with you since both you and the antimatter cuffs were under his control. Would they even work on you though?

Outlier held your back against his chest. It surprised you how much he felt like a normal man. Of course, that's all he was in the grand scheme of it all. Outlier was nothing more than a man desperate for something.

"No!" Antimatter Man sounded almost desperate. "Don't hurt her! She's been through enough. She didn't ask for it. She didn't even know about it. Please just let her go. I'll--" You can also hear the thoughts turning in his mind. "You can have me instead."

Your eyes went wide. Antimatter Man seldom placed himself directly into Outlier's hands. He was known for foiling the villain's plans remotely, sometimes even not showing up to the scene. And, even when they did come face to face, it was usually brief. What made this so different? What made you different?

Also, why did he talk like he knew you? Sure, your story had been in the papers a long time ago? You occasionally met a stranger who would recognize your name, but it was becoming less and less common with every passing year. How did Antimatter Man know you?

Outlier's grip on you tightened. One of his hands reached down for your wrist and held it up. Taking hold of the cuff, he brought it within millimeters of your skin. 

"Now, let's be civilized about this. If you were truly worried about this girl because of her past, you wouldn't have let me take her in the first place."

Antimatter Man gulped. His body was stiff and his hands opened and closed. It reminded you of how Namjoon kept a stress ball in his desk drawer for whenever he had a stressful day. He'd squeeze and release it a few times in time with his breaths, getting out of his head. 

"Yoongi," Antimatter Man said, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. "Open the back door for me would you?"

Yoongi didn't move. His gaze was hard, but not in a way that felt piercing or like he was looking through you. He was thinking.

"Yoongi," the villain said again. 

Yoongi didn't move.

Antimatter Man took the opportunity and lunged. It was a risk. The cuffs still encircled one wrist and both your ankles. As you fell backward, it felt as if the world moved in slow motion, you watched your wrist fling back, hitting the ring of the cuff and bounce back, completely unharmed.

You land on Outlier's chest, but his grip on you loosened. You got up but immediately felt your legs give out. Someone caught you and you looked up to see Yoongi looking down at you. He didn't speak, or really show any expression beyond motioning to the back of the room where there was a door concealed within the wall. Likely, this was the back door Outlier wanted him to open earlier.

Even though Yoongi was working with Outlier, you felt like you were free. Something told you he was helping you. The man obviously did not swear much loyalty to the villain. You reached and pulled the cuffs off, causing Yoongi's eyes to widen and you felt his arms waver as you tossed them in Outlier's direction, hoping one would at least chink his antimatter protective armor.

Someone winced. And you recognized it. It was the same pain you heard that night when the bomb went off and you felt Namjoon's body wrap around yours. When he woke up in the hospital and you couldn't help but hug him, forgetting he had multiple broken ribs. Even in his pain, he didn't stop you.

"Oh my God." 

You wrestled out of Yoongi's grasp. Outlier--seemingly not really wanting to fight--ran as soon as Antimatter Man fell to the ground. The cuff had sliced through his clothes and a gash opened on his leg. You crouched next to him and reached for the gash, applying as much pressure as possible 

"It's not as bad as it looks. It'll heal by tomorrow."

You looked up at him and met his eyes. It was him. It had to be. You reached up for the edge of the mask. He didn't stop you, his dark eyes watching your hand as you reached up and revealed his identity. 

Namjoon.

[♡] he felt so upset by how it was almost the fourth consecutive night that he had to cancel your usual dinners together. work was beating his ass but at least he was trained to endure it, and at the end of the day, the only thing that truly made his heart feel heavy, was the fact that you'd probably end up feeling sad and disappointed by his unavailability and complications of his work schedule, something that no matter the situation he had no control of.

it had certainly been a problem before, and he can recall a fair share of girls who ended up resenting him for it, and even if he tried to convince himself that you're really different from them, the lack of confidence on your relationship itself still made his shoulders feel heavy. would this relationship fail too?

as he finally got out of the building, tie on his hand and the first few buttons of dress shirt undone, he spotted you on the seats near the fountain, waving at him with the biggest smile on your face.

"joonie!" he only had a few seconds to react because you were right by his side in less than a moment, linking your arms together and your eyes looking at him like he was the most precious thing to see. it made him instantly blush. "i brought you food! you're working so hard" you gush at him, stopping the walk to give him a smooch on his cheek, the blush on his face intensifying.

"are you okay?" he hadn't had the chance to speak but his heart started racing when you looked at him with worry in your eyes, scanning his face and smoothing his hair with your warm hands.

the dimple smile he gave you brought butterflies to your stomach. "i'm so glad you're here" carefully grabbing your wrist, he gives you the faintest most delicate kiss there and finally links both of your hands together, decided on walking to the car that was parked not too far from there, instantly asking you about your day, wanting to know everything about it.

[♡] there's no point on denying how you still struggled to let your guard down even when the both of you were alone. you were 2-months into the relationship yet it still felt like every day you spent with him was one of your first ones. your hand still didn't feel confident enough to take his, and feeling his hand on your waist at night after one of your dinner dates still made you giggle like a school girl and blush like a tomato.

and tonight, first night spent between the both of you, you are taking a few more minutes looking at the mirror making sure the pajamas you'd carefully chosen weren't too revealing. you had turned around in the mirror at least a thousand times to make sure you didn't have your whole butt out (just a sneaky peek), arranged your hair in a way that the apple of your cheeks didn't look to big or your nose too long, and hid the little armpit fat you'd grown to hate so much. you had never tried that much for someone; not for anyone actually. but this time around you were so in love... so in love. you were nervous, nervous because you still didn't know how deep his love for you was, and if it was unconditional. but at the end of the day you knew he would only see perfection in what you see as imperfections. it's crazy enough to feel so elated because of love, and you mentally slapped yourself for overthinking so much to make yourself crazier.

two knocks on your door make you know that he's waiting for you. "babe, you okay?" he asks, and you shiver. he's that good. you're that in love. your body always reacts before you can even process anything. "coming out in a min!"

and it turns out that even if you come out with your previously worn clothes in your arms to hide your body from him, he still looks at you with a smile that makes you think "fuck it" and leave your clothes on the floor forgotten just to feel his arms around you in his really expensive and comfortable bed.

you'd think tomorrow about the consequences of not putting enough deodorant since namjoon takes his last minutes awake to inform you his a.c is broken and that's why he cannot cuddle you throughout the entire night.

it was all good. for now.

[♡] It's not until everything slows down and you both lay tangled upon each other, that you realize how much you love him. As your bodies try to seek full relaxation, you don't mind the ache in your legs and the marks on your hips cause it was mere proof of how he had given himself to you tonight. He had demonstrated how much you meant to him in the most special and pleasurable of ways, different than the other occasions in which the both of you spent the night together.

Getting to know Kim Namjoon was like falling through an endless rabit hole, in the most positive of ways, cause who wouldn't fall for his charms and his looks? His kindness? All about his personality? You realize that even if you'd promised yourself to someone else, it was the biggest mistake of your life and he was the one who you truly belong to.

And as you lay on his chest you’re able to feel the kind of comfort you needed after one of the most tiring weeks of all; and it feels like the world stopped the minute you stepped into this hotel suite; your own little universe in between these four walls.

And you know it's not right. It simply isn't. But fate was cruel to the both of you, and the pain of not being together after realizing you both were the one for each other, was even worse.

You both know that your phones (on silent mode) are probably blowing up cause you both were too powerful and your lives were full of responsibilities you both had decided to leave behind, on hold until you both had the strength to continue. He reminds you that there isn’t much time to spend together after the deed is done, but he cannot find it in himself to get up and get dressed to leave, instead he keeps still and he takes the time to stroke your delicate skin, his strong hands wandering from the back of your neck to your lower back. Neither of you is ready, but it was time to go back to your usual lives.

"I don't want to go.." you whine. Being trained all your life to not insist, to not beg nor need something more than yourself always stopped you from really expressing your feelings to him, but tonight you make an extra effort to do so. You hadn't been swayed by his money, power or reputation but his simplicity behind closed doors, and it took two months working on a project between the both of you to fall deeply in love with each other.

And tonight he confessed his love for you. You’re surprised because those three simple words and their real sincerity were unbeknownst to you, a territory you were always too weary to cross, but this time around, it felt right. It suddenly felt okay to feel what you feel, and it was okay because he was there to pick up the pieces you’d kept to yourself all these years.

He’d made an extra effort to understand the puzzle that you were and solved it effortlessly, and you had gladly gifted your heart to him the second you felt the kind of security he could only provide to you.

“No one ever told me they loved me before.” it was your opportunity to open up even more to him, and you know his silence is considerate and sincere, it gives him the time to think about his words carefully, trying to avoid letting you down.

"Well.. I love you. I mean it." it’s simple and to the point, an irrefutable fact, and it’s enough to make you get up to really look at him. His eyes inmediately search for you and one hand gets up to trace the diamond necklace he had specially bought for you, the one you wore tonight to one of the most important business meetings, knowing it was a sign you both only could understand, a sign that you were truly his, even though the man that had been faster in puting a ring on your finger was sitting beside you and in front of him. "More than whoever made you feel so scared."

And so the night ends and the both of you end up getting up anyways, ready to face the world. When you get ready to leave he takes extra care of you, even pulling up the zipper on the back of your dress, his hands cheekily wandering on parts of your body that make you blush and giggle with happiness. You love him. You do. And the words tumble clumsily out of your mouth because it still is something so new and out of the ordinary, something you're not used to saying. He offers you the biggest most reassuring smile through the mirror and he takes it upon himself to turn you around and put his hands around your head to hold you.

When he says it back, he watches the way your delicate eyes close and you give him a smile, and he suddenly feels this unbelievable warmth inside his chest. he'd never felt this before. "don't break my heart, hm?" you smile at him and fix his crisp black suite, removing any imperfection intruding on the expensive material. it's the only way you can think now of showing him how much you love him.

And when you turn around to pick your bag, he searches for your hand. "You deserve so much better, even better than this" he makes it a mission to assure you, but you only offer him a shrug of your shoulders, you know what he means, but to you it doesn't matter at all. Even one minute of his time meant so much to you. "I promise i'm going to give it to you."

Every Part.

Prompt(s):

84. “Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don’t take it personally, it’s just easier that way.”

Pairing(s): BestFriend!Namjoon x Reader

Genre(s): Angst, Fluff (maybe just a little)

Summary: Joon hasn’t seen his best friend Y/N in a while, even skipping their daily morning coffee dates. Deciding to check on her, he finds there may be more than a supposed ‘cold’ keeping them apart. How do you love someone that’s too afraid to be loved?

Warning(s): some allusion to toxic relationships (romantic and platonic), fear of being vulnerable, depression, ptsd

Word Count: 3k

It wasn’t like you to skip out on daily morning coffee. In fact, you had been quite vocal about it being the only thing to get you through the day; the dismal clouds parting above your head as the caffeine descends your throat and warms your veins in a way that can only be described as pure euphoria. Then, there was also Namjoon’s more than satisfactory company, to which he would counter is better than any warm drink could ever be and you didn’t have the heart to convince him otherwise.

These were two things, two whole things, that gave you reason to get up in the morning despite the ache in your soul and the dull stab in your heart. So why were you making yourself more miserable by denying yourself even that smallest bit of sanctuary?

It’s an easy question to ask and a frustratingly difficult one to answer. In retrospect, shouldn’t you be elated to have a wonderful escape, though minute as it was, from the never ending war of thoughts in your mind? Namjoon is your best friend, admittedly only friend, and he’d never wronged you in any way, shape, or form. In fact, he always understands your silent breakdowns and internal battles, never once questioning or judging. And yet, here you are, not only punishing yourself, but punishing him as well.

A light buzz interrupted your thoughts, pressing pause on the inner monologue to turn over in your disheveled bed. Pushing the covers away from your face, you grab the device discarded on the bedside table. Thinking back, you should’ve just turned the thing off if you didn’t want to talk to him, but even after ignoring him for the last six calls and messages, you couldn’t find it in yourself to completely cut him off.

Even in the darkest recesses of your mind, tainted by evil thoughts, a piece of you reached forward, searching for the tiny light of Namjoon despite the protests from the negative space. He is reminiscent the sun, whether you hate or love it each day, it’s always there, just like him.

Joonie💜:

-I know you don’t feel up to anything today, but please take care of yourself. I’m a call or text away if you need anything❤️

In spite of yourself, you crack the slightest smile at the message. Being the first one you’d opened in the last 3 hours, you were both relieved and regretful. You know Joon would never impose or push you to share the thoughts and feelings that plague your soul. You’d simply waved his concern off with a small fib of a cold keeping you from your daily routine.

A part of you knows his earlier messages may convey his suspicions of the sudden ailment, but seeing this last one, he’s either finally accepted it or just doesn’t want to pry. It’s the knowledge of the false truth, as simple as it may seem, that sends a swirl of upset through your gut.

You and Joon are as close as close can be and one thing you promised each other was to always be honest. Truth is incredibly important to Joon, important to you as well, and yet, the urge to indulge in this cardinal sin of your friendship won over.

It felt like an awful pattern, one you have been desperate to be free from. No matter how hard you try move on from the past, the negative thoughts, the toxicity of it all, it seems like it always follows, attracted as if centered in your own gravitational pull.

It was the smallest thing that set it off, a grain of sand in a vast ocean that sent tidal waves the size of skyscrapers crashing into your resolve. A simple brush of a hand pulling forth images of past events once thought forgotten. A black and white silent film of horrors replaying over and over again no matter how many times you tried to turn it off.

A glimpse of your father leaving you and your mother in tears, a flash of your first real boyfriend breaking your heart, a shot of your once best friend using those darkest secrets against you. Every person you’d ever been close to in life had found a way to inflict pain. The constant sting of the knife as you let your walls down only made them rebuild higher each time.

It was pure accident you’d managed to let Namjoon in in the first place, and he rooted so well behind those walls you’d thought it would all be different this time. No one had ever stayed this long, been real and honest this long, made you truly happy this long.

And no matter how many times you told the monster in your head that ‘he’s different,’ ‘he’d never do that to you,’ ‘he really cares,’ it reminded you just how many times those same things had been uttered of others. A father would never do that, yet he did. The seemingly love of your life was different from him, and yet he wasn’t. Your best friend truly cares, but she really didn’t. You’ve always been proven wrong; painfully and wholly wrong.

Instead of waiting around for Namjoon to prove himself just like them, deciding to cut your losses before the blow could build felt like the better alternative. To see him turn into the mold of everyone who hurt you before, you decided, would be worse than pushing away and cutting all ties. Instead of waiting for the impending heartbreak to crash into you, you’d drive into it head on and get it over with.

The worst part is the lie. Not the little white lie of a cold, but the lie that he believes you’ll come back to him. That this ‘cold’ will run it’s course and you’ll both be back to the way it was. You’d meet at the coffee shop on Main and he’d walk you home and spend the rest of the day chatting and laughing like normal; everything would be okay. He was none the wiser that those days were over; that you’d be gone from his life without any explanation.

It hurt. More than anything you’d ever felt before.

The last rays of sunshine filtered through the blinds hanging dully in the windows for mere seconds before disappearing behind the dark cast of the night sky.

You still hadn’t left the bed.

Just as you were about to close your eyes and give in to the sweet release of sleep, a knock reverberated throughout the tiny apartment. Your phone had long since died and you felt no urge to revive it, the forewarning of a late night visit unbeknownst to you. Eyes focused on the ceiling, you waited for the silence to span enough time to signal their leave, but the knocks only repeated, almost urgent this time.

The lack of food, water, and movement from the day spent wallowing in bed hazed your mind, and after what felt like the hundredth knock, you rose stiffly from the covers. Joints hissing and cracking as you engaged in the first bit of physical activity in the past 24 hours, you almost tipped over as the blood quickly rushed to your head, making it spin.

Not being able to form any fluent or cohesive thoughts, you wandered aimlessly through the dark apartment until reaching the door handle. You didn’t even bother peeking through the peephole, simply pulling the door until it jerked back from the still-latched chain and squinted out into the bright hallway.

Your eyes immediately adjusted to stare into the dark pair of eyes of the person you’d vowed to quit cold turkey. As he took you in, his face paled, features dropping as if he was staring into the face of death.

“I know you want to be alone right now, but please, don’t shut me out.”

His voice was hoarse, choked with emotions your fogged brain couldn’t comprehend. Refusing to lift the latch and allow him entrance, you stood still, not sure how to react, as your brain slowly processed what was happening.

Namjoon didn’t make any move to force himself inside, to push you to let him in. Instead, he kept your gaze focused on him as he assessed you. Wrinkled sweats and a hoodie that looked like they’d been slept in for multiple days wrapped messily around your small frame. Your hair a tangled, matted nest told him you hadn’t had a proper shower in a while. The skin around your eyes dark purple and sunken in, flesh a pale, sickly hue that scared him.

Namjoon was no fool, he knew what a cold looked like on you, and this was not right. In his gut, he knew since that day, that something had snapped within you.

It started out innocent enough, as he walked you home from the bookstore you’d frequented together. He had carefully brushed his hand against yours, heart aching to slip your fingers into his and hold on tight. Joon hadn’t truly realized his feelings had crossed from platonic to romantic until it hit like a freight train an hour prior.

Standing in the window of the store reaching skywards for a book that caught your eye, he’d graciously grabbed the book for you with a laugh, admiring your effort even though it was much too high. When he chanced a look down at you as he handed off the object of your struggle, he caught that gleam in your eye as you smirked at him. The light of the setting sun formed a soft orange halo that enveloped every curve and dip of your body in a radiant glow. 

He was entranced, watching your fingers flip through the pages cautiously, face warmed by the sun, cheeks tinged an adorable light pink. You looked like an angel sent directly from the heavens above and it stole his breath away.

Namjoon’s friendship with you is his most prized possession. In that moment his heart yearned for more, but his mind told him that if he pushed too hard, he’d lose you. In the simplest of hand brushes, he thought he’d be able to convey to you in a subtle, careful way what he was feeling in that moment, hoping and praying deep down you felt the same.

It all shattered when he saw that gleam in your eyes dim, flushed cheeks devoid of their once healthy glow, as if you’d been touched by a ghost. His heart broke into a million little pieces, sensing deep down he had likely dismantled everything you’d ever built together with the most innocent of gestures.

A needle brought down the entire haystack.

At first, your excuse of illness didn’t perturb him. It wasn’t until day three that he knew his instincts were right; that something more serious was going on. When you ghosted him all day, he thought, for a brief moment, you might be gone. It sent him into a frenzy that led to racing up the steps of your building panicked, pounding harshly on your door until he could confirm with his own eyes you were here. That you were okay.

Only, that wasn’t what was confirmed to him at all once he saw you. Your body may physically be here, but it looked like your soul, your whole being, had dissipated and left nothing but a walking husk in its wake. If anything, seeing you right now only made him all the more terrified.

Namjoon may be your closest friend, but that did not make him privy to your darkest thoughts. One didn’t, however, need to be explicitly told of the sorrows you’d endured, but need only to experience how you interacted with the world around you.

He saw it in the little things, like how you’d shut down after seeing a happy family in public.

Or how the mentions of finding a boyfriend from his friends when he’d managed to get you to hang out would cause you to excuse yourself and avoid contact afterwards.

Most importantly, it was in the way that no matter how close the two of you seemed to get, he was never allowed into the deepest parts of your mind, to let him share the burden or see the truth that lay inside of you.

He had all the warning signs, yet his heart was selfish and greedy, wanting a piece of you he knew you kept locked away, and it was that longing for more that took it all away.

Namjoon would take it back if he could.

“Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don’t take it personally, it’s just easier that way.” 

The words slipped out before you had the mind to just shut the door and pretend it never happened. Your throat was dry, coarse, and it translated into the rough tone of your voice. You didn’t even recognize it as your own as it rang through the still air.

Eyes glued to the dirty carpeting of the landing, you couldn’t find the strength to look him in the eyes again. The longer you stood there, mere inches of wood separating you, the harder it got to hold your resolve. It was easy to keep away when he wasn’t there to remind you of all of the reasons to stay and fight.

The silence was deafening, neither party knowing the right thing to say, if there even was anything ‘right’ to say in the first place. If you couldn’t be honest with yourself, how could you ever expect to be honest with Namjoon?

Running away, leaving, abandoning things. That was the only course of action you’d ever bore witness to when it came to relationships. If it was so easy for your father, your boyfriend, your best friend, to leave you, why was it so difficult for you to leave Namjoon?

The salty taste in your mouth gave way to the tears that flowed freely down your face, even though you hadn’t given them consent to do so. You didn’t want him to see you like this, so broken at your own undoing. 

As much as a part of you wanted to blame Joon, to say that this was his fault, you knew it wasn’t. As much as you wanted to blame the past, the monstrous characters that shaped your negative outlook on the world, you didn’t.

It must have been, and always will be, your fault.

If everyone in your life leaves, the only constant factor, is you. There must be something wrong with you that forces people out, makes it easier for them to walk away. 

Like the second a bomb goes off, the realization that all the pain you’d endured: the wars waged in your mind, the destruction of yourself and the life you tried to salvage, could all be self-inflicted tore apart every fiber of your being with the initial blast.

For so long you’d chalked the misfortune up to bad luck; ill-fate. You were a victim of circumstance. Yet now all you could see was yourself at the root of every disaster. 

Suddenly drowning a the sea of self-deprecating thoughts, the weight of your body felt like a ton of bricks with which you no longer had the strength to support. 

Falling to your knees, you didn’t realize you had, at some point, subconsciously unlatched the door, until warm, strong arms caught you in your dissent. 

They held you as you cried; a loud, ugly cry, that had your inner-self cringing. It couldn’t be helped, though, and you no longer cared as you let the sobs wrack every part of you. The only thing anchoring you being the man you tried so desperately to push away.

His soft ‘shs’ combined with the soft glide of his hand in your hair calmed you despite the circumstances. You were a complete and utter mess.

And yet, Namjoon was still here.

After the stress you’d put him through, the lies, the ghosting, the cold shoulder, he remained constant, steady throughout the storm. He didn’t walk away when things got difficult, he didn’t blame you, he didn’t hurt you.

He is here, holding you, telling you it’s going to be okay.

The small part of you, the dark piece tainted by the negativity, had quietly retreated within you. The tiny hand reaching out for Namjoon’s light had prevailed. That film inside your brain burned away like acid as a new one began production. One in bright, saturated color; full of all the wonderful things you’ve experienced life with Namjoon.

Coffee dates, movie nights, grocery runs at 3 a.m.

Bad jokes, boisterous laughter, warm blankets.

Tight hugs, pinky promises, your best friend.

“I’m right here. I’ll always be right here,” he whispers through tears. He’s holding you tightly, despite the part of his mind screaming at him that this is what got him into trouble in the first place. His deep, innate need to protect you, to hold you, won over any worries he had of pushing you further away. When he felt your arms wrap tightly around him, face nuzzling into his chest, he knew he’d made the right choice.

In the end, it wasn’t space that would heal your heart, but closeness. You’d been so scared of him leaving, you tried to force him away, when he wanted nothing more than to keep you close. 

Finally, you realized that Namjoon was the only person who has ever stayed. He’d had plenty of time to walk away, been given a multitude of opportunities to excuse himself from your life, yet he never did. 

He rode out everything you’d thrown at him. 

As you both sat there, tear-streaked messes holding each other as if your lives depended on it, you knew that this storm had passed. Despite any damage it had caused, with Namjoon by your side, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be repaired.

Letting a person in when you’ve been broken so many times is not easy and it never will be. A part of you will always be wary that one day something will change, that you might eventually wake up and be on your own again. It is a part of dealing with the trauma you’ve faced.

While Namjoon can never ‘fix’ the ‘broken’ parts of you, he will be there to show you new, beautiful parts of yourself that have long gone overlooked. To be the shoulder you can cry on, the ear you can confide to, the heart you can someday love without reserve.

It’s never been about putting the pieces back together, tearing the walls down, or proving the past wrong.

Namjoon’s only wish is to be there for you in any way you let him, to be himself, and live life with the person he cares about the most. 

So, he’ll be there through every pitfall, every tear, every laugh, every smile, because to Namjoon, every part of you is worth sticking around for. Always. 

“Thanks for not leaving.”

Hello love, i want to request namjoon drabble.. 'He always forgets date night' and yn getting tired about it 🍭🍭

Supposedly Necessary Disclaimer: The above gif was made and edited by me, kutemouse. That is why I’ve posted this under the tag #btsgif. Feel free to use this gif however you want, just please give me credit for the edit. I made it from the commercial BTS did for the LG G7 Thinq phone, all credit to them and BigHit.

Well hello love! Okay, so your request didn’t ask for fluff, angst, or smut so I kinda took some liberties with it? Haven’t written smut in a while, so I put some of that in. Don’t worry, it’s hella light… However. If anyone wants a part two with full-on, delicious, downright dirty smut, I will gladly write one 😈 Hell, I might just write one anyways, ‘cause sex with Joon is *chef’s kiss* especially in this kind of scenario 😉 I always imagine him as a sweetly passionate lover. Anyways, hope you like kutie anon! 💜

Age Recommendation: 18+ (When I say “recommendation,” I mean hard-and-fast rule, especially for one-shots like this one)

Warnings: You being all pissy, some angst, some sweet fluff, hecka light smut like nothing more than you’d see or hear about in a PG-13 movie, making out, Joon’s delicious lips, mentions of lingerie. SWEARS (duh).

Word Count: 1,124

“The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.” ~ Lao Tzu 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Red Flame (Namjoon Drabble, Light Smut, Bit ‘O Angst, Bit O’ Fluff) Part One

You sat on the couch, your arms folded, your lips tightened in a pout. He forgot. Again. You were so tired of this. You knew your boyfriend was a famous idol, but the production of this latest album was slowly draining your relationship from a roaring wave of passion and love to a trickle of anger and disappointment.

Really though, you weren’t asking for much. Just for him to be home in time for a nicely cooked dinner that you made from scratch and some long-overdue romance. You even put on a cute little dress for him, hoping to drive him crazy enough to realize what he was missing. That, however, was nothing compared to the red-hot ensemble you had underneath the dress.

You sighed and stood up, blowing out the candles that were already melted to stubs. You put the leftovers of the meal you made into containers and put those in the fridge. The silence coming from your bedroom mocked you as you walked into it. You were just about to unzip and toss away your dress when you heard the front door open.

“Baby girl?” his voice called out.

You turned, anger setting in. Oh hell no. He doesn’t get to “baby girl” you after completely forgetting date night.

The sounds of your bare feet coming down the hall sounded like a death march to Namjoon. He knew he screwed up. Yoongi had kept him in the studio to hash out the lyrics for their final track, making him totally lose track of time. Luckily, Namjoon had thoughtfully picked up a bouquet of red roses on his way home in an effort to try and make up for what he did.

The roses did give you pause, and you almost smiled as he offered them to you, one side of his mouth turned up. Could you really be mad at that cute face, especially when he brought you flowers? When he looked like a total snacc in that blue button-up paired with tight jeans? When his dark hair was parted just enough to expose the golden skin of his forehead?

You shook your head slightly and set your frown like cement. Hell yes you could be mad, and this time, you were determined to let him have it.

“Why are you late?” you snapped.

Namjoon winced at your harsh tone. “I’m so sorry, baby girl, I was in the studio with Yoongi and we–”

“I don’t care.” You cut him off.

He rolled his eyes, fanning the flame of your anger into a full-out fire. “Baby, you just asked me why I was late. Don’t cut me off when I’m answering your question.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you retorted. “Especially after you forgot date night again.”

“I didn’t forget, I’m just late.”

“As if that’s any better!”

Your voice rose and Namjoon held his hands up. “Enough,” he said calmly. His placid tone only served to infuriate you more.

“No it is not enough!” you growled. “I’m sick of this, Joon! I planned out dinner, I made it all myself, took hours to do so, the least you could do is–”

He cut you off by rushing towards you, smothering your lips with his as his large hands grasped either side of your face. You grunted in surprise, your eyes wide, before you melted like wax into the kiss.

Your lips broke apart, and before you could meld them back together, Joon whispered, “I’m really sorry, baby,” and began kissing down your jaw. Your anger fettered out like a flame that had no more wick left to burn as his lips moved to your neck, feathery light yet hard at the same time.

“God I love you,” he murmured and kissed back up to your lips. This time, the kiss he gave you was less sweet and more spice. He roughly pushed his mouth around yours, hungrily devouring you. This. This is what you had been waiting for all day. No, all week. Hell, all month. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, making you gasp and allow it to slip in and tangle with yours.

He groaned and walked you backwards to the couch, holding you steady as you both collapsed on it, mouths and tongues still mingled together. Joon separated himself from you with a groan, kneeling in between your legs as he slid to the ground. “I know I screwed up,” he murmured, touching your face and stroking a thumb across your cheek.

His dark eyes bore into yours, filled to the brim with lust and love. “But I want you to know how much I appreciate your effort, baby. You did all this for me, you wore this dress…” he tapered off with a growl, smoothing his hands down your hips and thighs, intermittently squeezing. “For me.”

“Then why let it all go to waste?” you whispered. Despite the heat wave covering your entire body, you were still disappointed. This night had definitely not gone the way you wanted it to.

Namjoon gave you a smile. “It’s not going to waste, baby. We can still make tonight a good one. And I promise you, on pain of death, I will do everything I can to make it on time next time.”

“What if there’s not a next time?” you said, only half-teasing. You kind of meant it. If he wasn’t going to show up for date night, then why put in any effort at all?”

“Oh, baby girl… After I make this up to you, you’ll want a next time for sure.”

You cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Joon caught his lower lip between his teeth, slowly releasing it. You stared at the reddening flesh. “It is definitely so,” he said, his voice husky and deep.

You gave in, completely succumbing, realizing no matter what you did or how mad you were, that flame of anger would always burn out only to be replaced by a tidal wave of passion. That’s how it always was with Namjoon. You never had prolonged arguments, because the second he did something wrong, he owned up to it and made it up to you tenfold. Usually in a sexual way, but hell, you weren’t complaining.

Namjoon kissed you for a while longer before scooping you up, causing you to let out a shriek. “Don’t worry, baby girl,” he said, tossing you on your bed and clambering over you. “I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll forget all about how mad you were.”

You bit your lip, anticipation rising inside of you, making you clench your thighs together and your cheeks flush. Namjoon may not be the absolute perfect boyfriend… not even close. But he was perfect for you.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Again, if anyone wants a part two, please let me know! Hope you enjoyed 💜

 kim namjoon fic rec list (Ⅰ)

here’s a list of my favourite namjoon fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡

a- angst s- smut f- fluff ❣- ultimate favourite

july kiss by @personasintro f s (dilf namjoon idiots to lovers au) ❣

prohibido by @personasintro f s a (brother’s best friend au) ❣

fool for you by @cutechim s a (rebound au hospital au unrequited love au)

try again by @bangtanfancamp f s (roommate au best friend to lovers au)

it’s december (and I still want) by @smoochkooks f s a (ex husband au)

more than anything else by @seokkgenie f s a (CEO au)

there was a bug @kimnjss f s a (roommate au best friend to lovers au) ❣

nothing like us by @jiminimoon s a (ex boyfriend namjoon) ft. fuck boy jungkook ❣

the rich man’s crochet club by @kpopfanfictrash s (virgin au college au) ❣

spilling coffee by @bts-roses f a (idol au intern reader)

dizzy by @joonessence f s (friends to lovers au) ❣

promise by @joheun-saram f s a (college au roommate au enemies to friends to lovers au) ❣

to make a power couple by @joheunsaram f s a (idol au ceo reader) ❣

daisies and dinosaurs by @dark-muse-iris f s a (single father au)

intro: her by @jamaisjoons f s a (single dad au strangers to friends to lovers au) ❣

a sight for sore eyes by @siderealmyg f s (established relationship au)

good to me by @httpjeon f s a (dating service au)

what are friends for by @kookdiaries s (best friends au friends to lovers au)

out of my league by @ppersonna f s a (office au) ❣

promises by @jeonsweetheart f s a (marriage au infidelity au idol au) ❣

the bodyguard by @rmnamjoons f s a (bodyguard au fake dating/marriage au) ❣

the father, the son and the holy whore by @taesinferno s (dilf namjoon infidelity au) ❣

nice guys finish last by @ktheist f s a (arranged marriage au) ft. Ex fiance Yoongi

cyanide on my bedsheets by @jimilter s a (friends with benefits au unrequited love) ❣

partners by @btssmutgalore s a (friends to lovers au slow burn) ❣

dimples by @sweetmisery f s (idol au friends with benefits friends to lovers au) ❣

after rain by @rmverse​ f s a (patient namjoon patient reader)

once upon an us by @yoonia​ f s a (inspired by the movie sweet home alabama past lovers au exes to lovers au established relationship) ❣

bothered by @lavienjin f s a (brother’s best friend)

sincerely, but no longer yours by @ttttaehyungie s a (exes au) ❣

lavender honey by @oftenderweapons f s a (chaebol au friends to friends with benefits to enemies to lovers au)

2AM by @xpeachesncream f s (college au) ❣

black swan by @helenazbmrskai s a (co-workers to friends to lovers tattoo artist joon) ❣

love is blind by @helenazbmrskai f s a (best friends brother au college au enemies to lovers au) ❣

ramen? by @solarwonux f s ❣

only a lifetime by @dopejk f s (dilf joon marriage au pregnancy au) ❣

emerald by @dewykth s a (bodyguard au)

love bytes by @stutterfly f s a (friends to lovers au slow burn)

spice by @breakiebunny f s a (enemies to lovers au chef joon)

new parent syndrome by @1kook f s (dilf joon husband au parents au) ❣

the perfect date by @suhdays f s (established relationship au)

flower cloud by @suhdays f a (soulmate au friends to lovers au college au)

hammer it home by @gukslut f s a (domestic au) ft. Jimin ❣

nailed it by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ft. Jimin ❣

feels like home by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ❣

a wrench in the plan by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ❣

totally screwed by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ❣

obligated by @underthejoon s (arranged marriage au) ❣

bass and strings by @jimlingss f (slow burn au slice of life college au music au)

letting go by @bangtan-babe f a (doctor au) ft. Jimin

MASTERLIST⋅୨✧୧

Drabbles

munch - jjk nsfw

the roommate - jjk nsfw

One shots

the boy is mine - jjk nsfw

Series

a lazy two-day - k.nj.

genre : fluff (1k)

summary: nothing blooms love like a paint war between two people helplessly infatuated with each other.

masterlist

namjoon finally had a weekend off his usually packed schedule, while the pandemic was worsening all around the world, you both couldn’t help but appreciate the time you could spend together now, a slight pause from idol life for him and just you getting to see him for more than an hour in a day.

you spent the first day together trying to cook, emphasis on the trying but of course with namjoon’s incredible cutlery skills and your idea of a teaspoon being far off from what they refer to in a recipe, together combined it was a disaster, a disaster you spent 3 hours cleaning up.

how’d you both mess up that much? 

that’s a story for another day.

that night, he seemed particularly engrossed in a book and it made you crave attention from him.

so you distracted him, you slid onto his lap, positioning yourself right in between the book in his hands and face, making him chuckle and put the book away, and then somewhere in the middle of your pillow talk, you threw ideas at each other about how you could spend time together.

the next day, you were determined to do something fun together, you remember yoongi mentioning being into painting these days, and you both decided it was a harmless enough activity for you to try out.

you had your canvases laid out, with newspaper underneath because knowing the both of you, you would definitely get paint everywhere. and as much fun causing a mess was, it was a pain in the ass to clean up.

“did you get the paints?” he distractedly nodded, leaning over and placing them beside you, the afternoon sunlight poured in through the beige curtains, illuminating the living room where you both sat cross-legged, excited glint in your eyes, this was new for you both, trying something together and it felt good. it felt right, it filled your belly up with tiny butterflies, like it was your first date all over again.

you carefully moved the cups of water and placed the brushes inside them, namjoon leaned back, almost knocking off one of the cups if it weren’t your hand preventing his back from the collision. he chuckled at his own clumsiness and jokingly lifted his hands in surrender which made you break into a loud giggle too. as time went by, you found you found yourself being fond as hell of everything he does, even if they sometimes broke things or made a mess. and right now, he just looked so soft, so domestic, you could feel your heart singing in delight.

he lightly pushed his glasses back and ruffled his hair before letting out a breath and sitting back down beside you.

you set aside your reference pictures, trying your best to replicate it with thin pencil strokes while he did the same with his, there was a comfortable silence, silence that you both enjoyed, it’s just how you both worked, you both liked calm and collected surroundings, it made you feel safe and happy while it gave namjoon a much needed contrast from his usual chaos.

when you were done with the pencil work, you turned the canvas around and showed it to him, he examined it for a while before nodding with a soft smile adorning his face.

“good job babe” he gave you a light kiss on your temple which instantly made you even happier, you leaned over and saw his drawing too.

it was a rough sketch of one of his beloved bonsais, but this one seemed to be laid with flowers, you gave a soft kiss on his shoulder as a ‘keep going, you’re doing well’ before returning to your work.

though you would never admit it to him, his love for bonsais and nature in general endeared you a lot, watching him water his tiny bonsai with a small, tired smile every morning before leaving for work, or how he would excitedly show you pictures of tiny crabs he caught on his phone as you read a book at night,  going on and on about how they were a pain to catch but so worth it.

 kim namjoon was probably the most precious person you knew, and you couldn’t believe that you were with someone you can’t even describe with words. words just failed him, words weren’t simply enough for someone like him.

you continued to darken the lines and pulled out the paints to get started, when you suddenly felt something wet on your cheek, you turned with a glare to see namjoon holding a paintbrush with a sheepish grin on his face.

you then calmly reached for your own paintbrush, pulled him forward, keeping him in place which was a struggle as he kept trying to wriggle away, and started brushing the paint all over his light blue sweatshirt, he started groaning almost instantly at his ruined clothes, whining out complaints periodically.

while you were busy messing up his matching sweatpants too, he quickly reached for one of the paint bottles and poured it on your head, making you let him go with a gasp, he held his stomach as he fell backwards laughing, you grabbed a black paint bottle and crawled on top of him, and before he could stop you, poured it on his head too.

and this is what continued for the next twenty minutes, the newspaper was soggy and torn, not giving any protection, but the both of you were busy emptying your paints on each other, needless to say, it was messy as fuck, both of you covered in every single primary color, water from the paint cups dripping from your face and arms. the only thing that stopped you two was that there were no paints remaining to throw on each other.

you both realizing this, stopped your intense paint war, and just stared at each other before bursting into loud laughter, falling beside each other.

“what did we just do?” you asked in between laughs, in short gasps and namjoon just gave a happy shrug.

“i wish i knew”

“you were the one who started it, you idiot” you smacked his arm which only made him laugh more, then you both paused and he leaned over to kiss your cheek before scrunching his face in disgust.

“ew paint” he groaned, leaning away almost immediately and desperately trying to get rid of the foreign taste in his mouth while you scowled at him

“you put it there” yuo accused him with an angry pout on your face, he laughed at that before reducing into a smile at your mess of a face.

“i know” he softly said, and you sighed as you wrapped your arm around his torso, ignoring the icky feeling of the paint and water slowly drying on your bodies, and cuddled into him, making him wrap an arm around your back, pulling you in closer.

“so, who’s gonna clean this up now?”

❁ pictures you've taken of your boyfriend, Namjoon

More of the boyfriend pictures series

 kim namjoon fic rec list (Ⅰ)

here’s a list of my ultimate favourite namjoon fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

prohibido by @personasintro f s a (brother’s best friend au)

more than anything else by @seokkgenie f s a (CEO au)

nothing like us by @jiminimoon s a (ex boyfriend namjoon) ft. fuck boy jungkook

spilling coffee by @bts-roses f a (idol au intern reader)

promise by @joheun-saram f s a (college au roommate au enemies to friends to lovers au)

to make a power couple by @joheunsaram f s a (idol au ceo reader)

daisies and dinosaurs by @dark-muse-iris f s a (single father au)

intro: her by @jamaisjoons f s a (single dad au strangers to friends to lovers au)

out of my league by @ppersonna f s a (office au)

promises by @jeonsweetheart f s a (marriage au infidelity au idol au)

the father, the son and the holy whore by @yoon2k s (dilf namjoon infidelity au)

partners by @btssmutgalore s a (friends to lovers au slow burn)

dimples by @sweetmisery f s (idol au friends with benefits friends to lovers au)

sincerely, but no longer yours by @ttttaehyungie s a (exes au)

lavender honey by @oftenderweapons f s a (chaebol au friends to friends with benefits to enemies to lovers au)

love bytes by @stutterfly f s a (friends to lovers au slow burn)

bass and strings by @jimlingss f (slow burn au slice of life college au music au)

letting go by @bangtan-babe f a (doctor au) ft. Jimin

one-shot

july kiss by @personasintro f s (dilf namjoon idiots to lovers au)

fool for you by @cutechim s a (rebound au hospital au unrequited love au)

try again by @bangtanfancamp f s (roommate au best friend to lovers au)

it’s december (and I still want) by @smoochkooks f s a (ex husband au)

there was a bug @kimnjss f s a (roommate au best friend to lovers au)

the rich man’s crochet club by @kpopfanfictrash s (virgin au college au)

dizzy by @joonessence f s (friends to lovers au)

a sight for sore eyes by @siderealmyg f s (established relationship au)

good to me by @httpjeon f s a (dating service au)

what are friends for by @kookdiaries s (best friends au friends to lovers au)

the bodyguard by @rmnamjoons f s a (bodyguard au fake dating/marriage au)

nice guys finish last by @ktheist f s a (arranged marriage au) ft. Ex fiance Yoongi

cyanide on my bedsheets by @jimilter s a (friends with benefits au unrequited love)

after rain by @rmverse​ f s a (patient namjoon patient reader)

once upon an us by @yoonia​ f s a (inspired by the movie sweet home alabama past lovers au exes to lovers au established relationship)

bothered by @lavienjin f s a (brother’s best friend)

2AM by @xpeachesncream f s (college au)

black swan by @helenazbmrskai s a (co-workers to friends to lovers tattoo artist joon)

love is blind by @helenazbmrskai f s a (best friends brother au college au enemies to lovers au)

ramen? by @solarwonux f s

only a lifetime by @dopejk f s (dilf joon marriage au pregnancy au)

emerald by @dewykth s a (bodyguard au)

spice by @breakiebunny f s a (enemies to lovers au chef joon)

new parent syndrome by @1kook f s (dilf joon husband au parents au)

hammer it home by @gukslut f s a (domestic au) ft. Jimin

nailed it by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple) ft. Jimin

feels like home by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

a wrench in the plan by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

totally screwed by @gukslut f s (hammer it home couple)

obligated by @underthejoon s (arranged marriage au)

↬looking for other knj fics or the other members check out my library

Taming an Alpha

kinktober day 02

Pairing: Alpha!Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content ; subby alpha werewolf joonie, joonie wearing a collar + leash, light praise kink, mild pet play (reader calls joon puppy), oral over underwear (f. receiving)

Requested by ; @tipsydipsydo

Heat pulsed beneath Namjoon’s skin, spreading like a flame across his shuttering limb. His pulse was a quick, uneven thudding in his veins, an arrhythmic beating that seemed to coincide flawlessly with the throbbing of his dick.

He wasn’t used to this.

He wasn’t used to looking up at you— or to anyone for that matter. He wasn’t used to being on his knees. He wasn’t used to feeling the weight of leather around his neck. He wasn’t used to feeling like he belonged to somebody.

… He wasn’t used to submitting.

For fuck’s sake he was an alpha. A strong, confident, intelligent, dominant alpha. If his betas could see him right now, they’d throw a fit. For an alpha to be in such a relegating position was next to unheard of. Worst of all in front of a human. But… you were his human. You were his mate. And to find himself beneath you, looking up at you, so vulnerable and exposed, there was something unexpectedly… intoxicating about it.

He wasn’t used to this. But that didn’t mean he didn’t absolutely love it.

After all, that was the whole reason he asked to be treated like this in the first place.

“Look at my pretty puppy~” you cooed darkly, molten gaze sliding over the impressive length of his body where it kneeled before you. A chill rolled down his spine at the nickname. The only title he was used to being addressed by was alpha, or sir on occasions he dealt with humans. Both which were, by all means, the complete opposite of puppy. Such a nickname was usually considered degrading for a werewolf and, depending on context, possibly offensive. Particularly for an alpha.

So then… Why did he like hearing you call him that so much?

He didn’t have time to dwell on the thought, a soft gasp escaping his swollen lips as you traced a finger beneath the thick leather collar wrapped securely around his flushed throat, your own lips curling into a lethal smirk at his obviously heightened sensitivity.

A soft, purely instinctual growl rumbled like low thunder in the depths of his chest when you have an experimental tug at the attached leash. But the sound was abruptly silenced by an intentionally rough yank that had him stumbling forward, hands scrambling to grip your thighs to balance himself. He whimpered softly at the feeling of your fingers weaving through his hair and sharply pulling his head back, forcing him to meet gaze. There was fire in your eyes, and he felt himself beginning to smolder beneath the raw intensity of it.

“Did you just... growl at me?”

He was panting now, the delicious burning of his scalp and the strain in his throat coaxing a round of hot precum to spill from his angry, swollen tip. “I– I’m sorry.” He apologized in a weak whine, dull nails pressing faint crescents into the flesh of your thighs.

“Good dogs don’t growl at their masters, do they?” You hummed, tone borderline taunting, penetrating gaze carefully scrutinizing every contortion of his handsome, blushing features, watching attentively for any signs of discomfort. But, you found none. The only emotion to be found was pure, unfiltered lust.

Namjoon shook his head as best he could given your tight grip, letting out a breathless, “no.”

A feigned pout fell across your face. “Then… I suppose you're a bad dog, Joonie.”

“N-no!” Dark pink blossomed across his cheeks at the abrupt outburst, but he continued nonetheless, “I’m a good d-dog.” He insisted, almost whimpering when you released your hold on his hair in favor of crossing your arms over your chest, staring down at him with a blatantly unconvinced frown.

“How can I possibly believe you?” You questioned softly, brows curling inward as you held his desperate, wide eyed stare.

Searing heat spread through his stomach, the glint in your eye making him tremble with unfathomable need. “I can prove it.”

You almost missed it. The whisper that slipped from his lips, disguised in a shuddering breath, was almost too soft to be heard. It was such a strong contrast between his usually confident, unwavering speaking voice that the raw gentleness of it rippled through the very core of your being. He didn’t miss it. Didn’t miss the scent of your arousal, thick and honey like in the air caressing his enhanced senses. A low, throaty groan dripped from his gaping mouth, his fingers tightening around your legs.

“You can?” Your voice was softer this time, taking on a certain airiness as you drowned in the deepness of his sweet brown eyes, willing and eager to give you any and everything you could ask for. “And how do you propose doing that?”

Your brows lifted as he lowered his head, nuzzling his warm cheek against the inside of your knee, going so far as to chance pressing a delicate kiss on the warm skin. You allowed as much, watching with the tender ministration with growing intrigue. “I can make you feel good,” a gentle tug at his leash, and he was adding softly, “if you allow it.”

Dragging your tongue over your lower lip, you slowly lowered your head. Namjoon eagerly raised his own, meeting you halfway with trembling lips and glistening eyes. He whimpered as your mouth feathered over his, teasing him. And then—

“Don’t disappoint me.”

The let down of being denied your kiss was short lived as he allowed what you said to sink in. In an instant his face was pressed between your thighs, pressing eagerly into your clothed heat, tongue out, jaw slack. You melted against him with a sigh, shuttering in bliss. Even with the thin fabric separating you, you could feel the warmth of his mouth, the delicious pressure of his tongue grinding into your clit. The soft hums and breaths of pleasure slipping from your throat only encouraged him further.

A soft vibration pulsed through your core, and you realized with a rush of delight that he was growling again, a low, possessive, hungry snarl that rippled through your heat, spreading like a wildfire through the rest of your body. It trembled through you veins, resonating through your blood. His nose rolled over your clit, teeth nipping at your slick lips and you huffed out a broken moan, subconsciously rolling your hips against his searing mouth. Your thighs tightened around him, a soft groan echoing in your lungs.

“Good puppy,” you whispered, eyes fluttering as you laced your fingers through his thick strands. The praise had his cock twitching and spilling another round of precum over his pulsing head, needy and neglected. He groaned against you, the taste and smell of you seeping through your underwear making his eyes flutter and roll to the back of his skull.

“Can I take them off?” He pleaded, fingers inching towards the hem of the black lace.

“Go for it.” You breathed through heavy pants, far too wound up to tease or play the push and pull game any further. At your consent, he eagerly dragged the material down your legs, nearly drooling like a damn dog at the sight of your wet, glistening heat. Oh, the irony.

Squirming forward on his knees impatiently, he flicked his gaze between your face and your heat, licking hungrily at his lips. It took you a moment to realize that he was waiting... He was waiting for your permission.

What a good boy.

Grinning, you spread your legs open as wide as they would go, leaning back and propping yourself up on your arms to present yourself to your handsome werewolf.

“Go for it, puppy.”