Saints Row - Tumblr Posts
Frfr lmao- love that damn game sm
Saints row is so funny. You're the president, who cured cancer after saving the world by riding a nuclear warhead that's aimed at the white house, who now is tasked with saving the ones who survived the planets explosion. Go be a pain in the ass to this alien warlord about it
Writing review: Saints row 2022 is an example of overly safe writing
disclaimer: I have NEVER played the old saints row games. saints row 2022 is my first exposure to the series, so you can rest assured knowing i am mostly unbiased. My only frame of reference for older games is the internet second disclaimer: the focus of this post is on the writing and maaaybe some unrelated stuff here and there. also let me remind you that this is my opinion and that you are allowed to enjoy something that i personally hate. you don't need my permission to enjoy things. spoilers for saints row 2022 obviously. do not play this game it is not worth the money. lets begin under the cut.
First problem: the main character is an unlikable turd, also they look ugly.
half related but i spent 30 minutes on that damn face slider and i still couldn't get them to look natural. What an ugly looking creature. the thing that sticks out to me is in the start of the game where they are constantly bitching and moaning about their commanding officer ordering to do things. when i think "lose cannon" character, i don't imagine a whiny 14 year old with a gun and ugly armor. at that moment i have decided to put that thought aside at that moment and think to myself "ok so perhaps the game is trying to go for a character that doesn't listen to the rules. I will play along for now"
whoopsie! the main character is too much of a coward to shoot the big bad guy who has killed a bunch of people up to that point ! let me just throw empty threats like "don't move or i am going to shoot you" without actually shooting! wOULD YOU PLEASE SHOOT HIM IN THE FUCKING KNEE ALREADY YOU HAVE A GUN. YOU ARE AN OFFICER OF THE CORPORATE LAW. YOU LET HIM GET AWAY AND TAKE OVER A FIGHTER JET BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SHOOT HIM HE IS UNARMED AND YOU HAVE A GUN AND BULLET PROOF ARMOR. FUCKING FUCK FUCK The story can't decide if your personality-less protagonist is a lose cannon or a goody two shoes, so to artificially move on to a boring "dangling off a jet" fight scene they just don't shoot the fucker causing a huge mess and I am not even going to get into the fact the big bad didn't even fly the fuck away when your character was literally dangling off the jet. what is it made of??? Styrofoam ? ? ? ?
Problem 2: this game is too scared to actually be a game aimed at adults
the rating of this game is rated as M for mature. This is a game that they will not sell to minors in stores. As in this game is made for adults who are legally able to enjoy dirty jokes in games.
so why the FUCK did they censor RimJobs and Freckle bitches??? what are you scared that the underage teen that bought the game on steam without telling their parents is suddenly going to have a meltdown because they saw a swear ? ? I never played the older games let me remind you, but it feels so lame that my first experiences is jokes stolen from older games and then bastardized. and no this does not make the game more mature. Let me tell you why:
Problem 3: the main villain conflict is an unholy mash between high school drama and boring "fight the system" stories
today I learned that you run a CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION in this game. did you know that? I didn't know that. "Kat that's the whole point of the series" OH REALLY? WELL TELL THAT TO THE DAMN WRITERS OF THIS STORY first issue: the fact that the evil corporation somehow buys your criminal organization legally and your dumbass character and even dumber team-mates think this is some big deal hey friend! did you know that the perks of having a criminal organization is that you don't follow the law ? did you know that owning the rights to something doesn't mean shit when the thing you own is a criminal organization that doesn't follow the law? did you know that this is a criminal organization ? have i made that clear yet? are you sure you understand ? the evil corporation is an EVIL CORPORATION. they own the city ! couldn't you actually make them more threatening than "lol we own you now" what the hell do they expect to do? take this criminal organization to court? gee wouldn't society improve if we simply had huge businessmen buy out the fucking mafia out and then tell them to stop doing crime? (this is sarcasm in the event this actually does happen in real life) Second issue: the big bad guy who has experience with being a crime lord and has a history of manslaughter becomes a yandere. no i am not shitting you. Your character (WHO RUNS A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION) decides to suddenly be a good guy and teaches the big bad that the magic power of friendship and how wonderful being nice truly is like its fucking my little pony. then at the end of the game your character gets stabbed, magically survives being burred in a shallow grave after being stabbed, and then the big bad apparently is forcing your friends to be his weird friendship puppets. listen. yandere characters can work sometimes in situations like this. but like all characterization: you need to ACTUALLY ESTABLISH TRAITS LIKE THAT EARLY ON. why the hell is this grizzly 30 to 40 something year old man who has a history of being a charismatic crimelord suddenly acting like this is a really shit anime and he is a 16 year old nutbasket? ? ? ? ? nothing about him screams "i am socially starved to the point i am willing to kidnap people and force them to be my friends" like ? ? ? ? these stories and themes are NOT comparable at all- to recap this story features -a "fuck the system" story where your character fights against the evil corporatin -a yandere story where the big bad steals your friends with murder or whatever. -a story where the main character is good actually and they will free this city of evil -a story where the main character is a crime lord and that they create their own criminal gang and snuff out other criminal gangs. PICK A LANE THIS IS THE STORY EQUIVALENT TO ADDING PICKLES, CHOCOLATE SAUCE, MINT, AND ORANGE JUICE TO A FUCKING SOUP.
Conclusion: what not to do and suggestions for people who want to try these kind of stories.
first things first: don't be a fucking pussy. this is a crime lord story. you need to be comfortable with adult themes, swearing, and doing illegal and morally dubious shit. if you can't handle writing about that, then this genre isn't for you. Second: pick ONE threat as the main threat and then perhaps have smaller, less consequential threats. MAKE IT COHESIVE if it isn't obvious already, "screw the system" stories where the evil corporation is going to buy x building to fund their golf course or whatever isn't very compatible with crime lord stories where the main character is the lord in question. i am sure you can make it work if you are creative enough, just don't do what saints row 2022 did. Third: let your main character be a bad person in some way or form. Or even better: a complex character People who run crime rings are not good people. They are people who are running a hierarchy where they exploit money and society for personal gain. some of them are cults who convince their lackeys to stay, while others give their lackeys a cut of the dough. people. who run. crime rings. are not. good. people. Part of the failure of saints row 2022's main character is that they are a mix of the worst traits of a goodie two shoes and an aggressive hipster. they tried to make a CRIME LORD a morally good person who is fighting the system or whatever. get it through your head people who exploit people and the system are not good people who should be respected in your story. If your protagonist is in this position, they need to either A: start out as a good person and be corrupted, or B: start out as bad people and improve as a person only to then LEAVE the crime organization. unpopular opinion: but Mary sue characters can work in fiction depending on what you are writing. Steven universe is still a good show even if i can argue that Steven has Mary sue like tendencies. A Mary sue character is not inherently bad if the point of the show fits the reason why they exist. this is popular in escapist fantasy stories. But Mary sue type protagonist do not work in crime lord stories. Even if you want to make a weird gang related escapist fantasy story, you still need to make the protagonist do morally dubious things for it to actually work.
sometimes i ask myself: why was this story so bad? it was written by a professional studio, so something must had happened. my theory is that the studio had no experience with writing saints row games and basically got too scared to do anything actually mature and adult oriented. Its the fear of accidentally making something problematic. fair enough But at that point..... just don't make a saints row story ? don't make a game featuring a criminal organization at that point. but remember: there is no safety in a good story. all stories have risk. Why ? because art SHOULD provoke. art SHOULD make you uncomfortable, it should make you laugh, it should make you cry and feel. Art NEEDS to provoke some emotion to be considered quality art. and saints row 2022 didn't even make me laugh or connect to the boring ass characters like it set out to do, because it didn't provoke anything. I am not even angry. I am not a fan of the series, I just wrote this so that those who love writing can learn from this awful story. the only gain i got from this story is lost time because I "legally acquired it" if you get my drift. here is a suggestion to you fanfic writers: maybe you can make a story where its the future and the saints are the main villains of the story after accumulating so much control, and the protagonist has to fight against them only to eventually lose track of the plan and rise the ranks to the leader of the saints. there is so much you can do with this story, why be scared to offend? lifes too short, just get out there and fail as fast as you can so that you can gain the failure experience to make something great? thank you for reading my crap, check out my blog for a bonus reblog!
You knew it was coming :y
I forgot to get one from his right side wow go me
pierce gave max a sweat shirt that say 'I <3 pierce' but only because no one was really buying it, max wanted to make him happy :)
here are sketches i may not finish, so take a moment and look this shit and the redesigns of max
*disgusted noises* i love you so much it make me wanna puke
The Miller brothers are happy about gay marriage being legal :)
Endless List of Favorite Video Game Characters ↳ SHAUNDI (Saints Row series)
OOF SHE LOOKS AMAZING YA'LL NEED TO COMMISSION @allysketches
