Show Don't Tell - Tumblr Posts
show, don't tell:
anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking
frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping
sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps
happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking
boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails
fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands
disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm
tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile
confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions
Hot take: Actual literary analysis requires at least as much skill as writing itself, with less obvious measures of whether or not you’re shit at it, and nobody is allowed to do any more god damn litcrit until they learn what the terms “show, don’t tell” and “pacing” mean.
41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language
Found Here x
41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language Unique
This list, while exhausting, is soooo not exhaustive; it barely scratches the surface. And each entry could easily become cliché (if it isn’t already). But, it should be enough to get you started. Want more? Start watching people (not in a creepy way), and take notes of what they seem to do when expressing different emotions. Your repertoire of expression will double in no time. PS—do not use these for actual, real-life body language reading; you will fail. These are strictly novelistic.
Awed -Slack -jawed, raised eyebrows, staring -Frozen, slack body language (Self? What self? There is only Zuul.) -Take a step back and put a hand to his heart
Amused -Smiling and throwing back her head laughing -Slapping her thighs, stamping her feet, clapping her hands -Shaking her head (That’s so wrong!)
Angry/Aggressive -Sharp movements, like shaking a fist, pointing, slashing, or slamming a fist on a table -Flushed face, patchy red blotches -Tension in neck—chords standing out, veins throbbing—and jutting or tucked chin -Arms akimbo, or clenching fists -Entering someone else’s space and forcing them out -Poofing up with a wide stance (I am big! Very big!), arms wide (Bring it!) -Lowered eyebrows, squinting eyes -Teeth bared, jaw clenched, snarling
Annoyed -Pressing lips together into a thin line -Narrowing eyes sometimes with slight head tilt (Why do you still exist?) -Rolling eyes, often paired with a long-suffering sigh
Anxious -Fidgeting, such as tearing grass into little pieces, playing with a ring, or chewing on a pencil -Biting lower lip, swallowing unnecessarily -Quickened breathing or holding breath -Darting eyes -Pallor, sweating, clammy palms -Unusually high-pitched, “nervous” laughter -Hunched shoulders -Pacing
Attentive -Slow head nodding with a furrowed brow -Leaning forward, toward the speaker, and sitting up -Taking notes -Looking over the top of her glasses
Bored -Resting his head on his palm, peeking out between the fingers, maybe even slipping so his head “accidentally” hits the table -Tapping toes, twirling pencil, doodling, and otherwise fidgeting -Staring out a window, or at anything remotely more interesting (Which is everything …)
Confident -Arms clasped behind body -Head lifted, chest out, standing tall -Walking briskly and making firm, precise movements
Confused -Tilting head with narrowed eyes -A furrowed brow -Shrugging
Contempt/Superiority -Lifted chin (The better to look down the nose.) -Pursed lips, sneering, slight frown -Circling a shoulder, stretching her neck, turning away—anything to indicate she doesn’t see the person as a threat or worthy of her attention -Grabbing her lapels, or tucking her thumbs in her waistcoat (See this clothing? It is much nicer than yours.) -Dismissive hand-waving
Cynical/Sarcastic/Bitter -Twisted lips or a half-smile -Sneering, sometimes with shaking the head and other defensive body language -Pressed lips with a slight frown -Eye rolling
Defensive -Crossed arms, legs, crossed anything, really (Well, maybe not fingers … or eyes …) -Arms out, palms forward (Stop!) -Placing anything (sword, shield, book, backpack) in front of her body
Disgusted -Crinkling his nose -Curling his lip and/or showing the tip of his tongue briefly -Flinching back and interposing a shoulder or turning away -Covering his nose, gagging, and squinting his eyes shut—hard—for a moment. (It assaults all the senses.)
Displeased -A plastered-on fake smile (You suck; but I can’t tell you that. So here: a fake smile! Enjoy.) -Pouting or frowning (I’ll cry if you don’t give me what I want—don’t test me, I will!) -Crossed arms and other defensive/frustrated body language (I will not let that terrible idea influence me!)
Distressed -Wide eyes and shallow, rapid breathing -Beating the walls, or huddling into a corner -Clasping hands over his head protectively -Rocking himself -Handwringing -Running his hands through his hair
Earnest/Passionate -Leaning forward, nodding, wide eyes with strong eye contact and raised eyebrows -Hand on heart, or presented palms-up, or otherwise visible -A double-handed handshake (I really want to make sure you understand me!)
Embarrassment -Blushing -Stammering -Covering her face with her hands or bowing her head (I’m so embarrassed, I can’t look!) -Difficulty maintaining eye contact, looking down and away
Excited/Anticipation -Rubbing hands together (I can’t wait to get my hands on it!) -Licking lips (It’s so close I can taste it!) -A vigorous, pumping handshake (I can’t wait to get started!) -Jumping up and down (Look at me being literal here! I am jumping for joy.) -A wide and easy grin
Flirty -Eye play, like winking, looking up through the lashes, over the shoulder glances, and eye catching -Preening, like hair flipping or smooth, clothing straightening, spine straightening, etc. -Striking a cowboy pose, with his thumbs gripping his belt tight
Frustrated -Shaking his head (You are so wrong!) -Massaging temples (My brain—it hurts.) -Clasping his wrist in his opposite hand, behind his back (Bad arm! No biscuit.) -Running his hands through his hair (All this frustration is making my hair mussy. I can feel it.) -Grabbing onto something like armrests, or white-knuckled interdigitation (Restrain yourself!)
Happy -Smiling and laughing -Eyes and nose crinkling -Swinging her arms, spinning loosely, dancing, jumping
Impatience -Quick head nodding (Get on with it!) -Toe/finger tapping (Hear this? These are seconds. Wasted. Listening to you.) -Sighing, checking the clock/sundial/freckles (Time. It is moving so slowly.)
Jealous -Tight lips, or a sour expression -Narrow eyes locked on the perpetrator, to the point of a stare down -Crossed arms, and additional frustrated, angry, possessive, or bitter body language
Lying -Scratching their nose, ear, neck, miscellaneous part of face -Sudden change in behavior or demeanor, including shifty eye contact, lots of long blinking, shrugging -Ill-timed smiles or laughter (This is how I normally smile, right? Right???) -Additional anxiety body language -Shaking head no while saying “yes” (I can’t believe I just lied.) -Licking lips, covering mouth, touching mouth, etc.
Overwhelmed -Both palms to forehead, fingers splayed (This gives me a headache.) -Covering eyes with one hand (If I can’t see the world, it can’t see me …) -Eyes wide and staring into space, hands gripping the table in front of her (… Woah.)
Playful/Friendly -Winking -Waggling eyebrows -Tiny shoves or nudge
Pleasure -Head tilted back, lips parted slightly, eyes wide or closed -Slow, languorous movements, stretching (such as arching her neck or back) -Slight flush, quickened breath and pulse
Possessive -Handshake with arm clasp -Putting hands on or around someone’s shoulders, neck, waist, back, or even just the wall near them -Standing in someone’s personal space, body positioned toward that person -Any one-sided act of intimacy, like running a knuckle down someone’s cheek -Staring down any who get too close
Proud/Dominant -Chin up, chest out, shoulders back -A painfully hard handshake that not only squishes the bones, but also forces his hand on top -Leaning back with his hands behind his head, and his feet up -Strong, unblinking, focused eye contact
Reluctance/Resistance -Arms crossed, sometimes with fists (Not happening.) -Dragging feet (But I don’t wanna!) -Pinching nose (You want me to do what now?) -Clamping hands over ears (La la la la!)
Sad/Upset -Droopy body (and anything held, like a sword), bowed in shoulders, wrapping arms around self -Slow movements with hesitation -Bottom lip jutting out and/or quivering -Crying, sobbing, body shaking, sniffling, wet eyes
Secretive -A tight-lipped smile (My lips are zipped.) -Hiding her hands in her pockets (What has it got in its nasty little pocket?) -Looking away
Scared -Hunched shoulders, shrinking back from others (Don’t hurt me!) -Wide eyes and lifted eyebrows (The better to see them coming.) -Shaking, trembling, or freezing -Rocking from side to side, sometimes holding self (It’ll all be okay, self, it’ll all be okay.)
Shame -Slumped shoulders (Don’t look at me.) -Trouble meeting your gaze, looking down and away -Burying her face in her hands or bowing her head (I can’t face the world right now.)
Shocked -Hands covering her mouth, or mouth hanging open, sometimes with a gasp (If I had words, I would be saying them.) -Freezing and staring with wide eyes and eyebrows raised (Diverting all resources toward staring.) -Smacking a palm into his forehead (Clearly, my head isn’t working right, or I wouldn’t have seen that)
Shy -Avoids eye contact, or has only fleeting eye contact (Eye contact means you might speak to me.) -Keeps a fair distance from everyone, and will back away if someone steps closer (Space invaders!) -Folded arms, head down, and other defensive body language (If I make myself small, they can’t see me.)
Smug -Slight, close-lipped smile (occasionally one-sided) and sometimes one raised eyebrow (I know something you don’t know.) -Chin slightly tucked, Mona Lisa smile, raised eyebrows (I know better.) -Finger steepling (I am so smaaaht.)
Suspicious/Skeptical/Disbelief -Narrowed eyes, sometimes with a sidelong glance or raised eyebrow (Perhaps if I look at it out of the corner of my eye, I will catch it unawares.) -Rubbing his eyes (I can’t believe what I’m metaphorically or literally seeing!) -Shaking his head (I—I don’t believe it.) -Blowing out cheeks (Well , I don’t know …)
Tired -Rubbing his eyes, eyes staring into space, raised eyebrows (Raising my eyebrows helps keep my eyes open.) -Yawning and/or stretching (I am tired—see? Tired! Too tired to care!) -Almost nodding off and jerking awake (Cannot. Stay. Awa—snnnnurzzzz.) -Gritting teeth to stay awake (Cannot—yawn—dang it!)
Thoughtfulness/Thinking -Steepling fingers (I will think better if I center myself and focus.) -Pinching nose, sometimes with closed eyes (Focus, focus—I just need to focus.) -Tugging on an ear (This will help me remember!) -Stroking a real or imaginary beard (People with beards look smart.) -Furrowed brow, narrowed eyes, sometimes tilted head and pressing lips together (I can’t see it—I will try harder!) -Resting his chin on his hand (Thinking makes my head heavy.)
Triumphant -Hands clenched and held above head while grimacing (She is invincible!) -Head tilted back with a yell (She is fierce!) -Arm pumping in the air, jumping (Woohoo!)
One thing I’ve learned about writing is ”give everything a face”. It’s no good to write passively that the nobility fled the city or that the toxic marshes were poisoning the animals beyond any ability to function. Make a protagonist see how a desperate woman in torn silks climbs onto a carriage and speeds off, or a two-headed deer wanders right into the camp and into the fire. Don’t just have an ambiguous flock of all-controlling oligarchy, name one or two representatives of it, and illustrate just how vile and greedy they are as people.
it’s bad to have characters who serve no purpose in the story, but giving something a face is a perfectly valid purpose.
Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
Anton Chekhov (via writingdotcoffee)
An aye-write guide to Showing vs. Telling
I’ll bet that if you’ve ever taken an English class or a creative writing class, you’ll have come across the phrase “Show, don’t tell.” It’s pretty much a creative writing staple! Anton Chekov once said “ Don’t tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.” In other words, showing should help you to create mental pictures in a reader’s head.
Showing helps readers bond with the characters, helps them experience the emotions and action more vividly, and helps immerse them in the world you have created. So “show, not tell” is definitely not bad advice - in certain circumstances. But it has its place. More on that later.
So How do I Show?
Dialogue
Thoughts/Feelings
Actions
Visual Details
So instead, of telling me “He was angry”, show me how his face face flushes red, how his throat tightens, how he slams his fist, how he raises his voice, how his jaw clenches, how he feels hot and prickly, how his breathing gets rapid, how his thoughts turn to static, etc.
Instead of telling me “The cafeteria was in chaos”, you could show me someone covered in food and slowly turning crimson, children rampaging under the feet of helpless adults, frenzied shouting, etc.
Handy Hint! Try to avoid phrases like “I heard”, “I felt”, “I smelled”, etc. These are still “telling words” (also known as filters) and may weaken your prose, as your readers could be taken out of the experience and you may lose their attention.
Is Showing Always The Right Thing to Do?
No! Absolutely not! Showing is not always right and telling is not always wrong! It’s important to develop the skill and instinct to know when to use showing and when to use telling, as both can be appropriate in certain occasions.
So, “Show, don’t tell” becomes “Show versus tell”.
What is Showing and Telling?
Showing is “The grass caressed his feet and a smile softened his eyes. A hot puff of air brushed past his wrinkled cheek as the sky paled yellow, then crimson, and within a breath, electric indigo”
Telling is “The old man stood in the grass and relaxed as the sun went down.”
Both of these excerpts are perfectly acceptable to use in your writing! But both do different things, although their meanings are pretty much the same. The first example is immersive, sweeping, visual, engaging. The second example is much more pared back and functional. But both have their places in prose!
Telling is functional. Think about when you tell people things. You tell your children dinner is ready. The news reporter tells you there’s a drop in crime rates. Your best friend tells you she’ll be late because her car broke down on the way to yours. These are brief and mundane moments in everyday life.
So, do these deserve multiple paragraphs with sensory detail and action/feeling/thought for every little thing? Do you need to spend an entire paragraph agonising over a minor detail when there’s a sword dangling (physically or metaphorically) over your MC’s head? No. And I’ll explain why.
When To Use Telling
As before, telling is functional. It’s brief. It’s efficient. It gives a gist of a situation without getting bogged down in detail.
Showing is slow, rich, expansive, and most certainly not efficient!
Here’s an example of some telling:
“Years passed, and I thought of Emily less and less. I confined her to some dark dusty corner of my brain. I had to elbow my memories of her to the side. I was too busy with other things. Finishing school, then university a year later. Life was full and enjoyable. But then, one dark cold September night…”
You can’t show this example, unless you wanted to waste page after page of your MC waking up, going through everyday life, to get to the point your actual story started. If you do that, you will likely kill off any interest a reader would have in your novel and likely, your book itself.
Summing Up
Showing:
Should be used for anything dramatic
Uses thoughts, feelings, dialogue, action, and visual detail
Will likely be used more than telling
Telling:
Can be used for
Delivering factual information
Glossing over unnecessary details
Connecting scenes
Showing the passage of time
Adding backstory (not all at once!)
I'm unfollowing you because I disagree with how you spend your money
i dont blame you
show, don't tell:
anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking
frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping
sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps
happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking
boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails
fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands
disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm
tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile
confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions
Show Don't Tell - Symptoms vs. the Affliction
Another way to think of show don’t tell is to describe the symptoms rather than tell the affliction. You could say someone was close to fainting—or you could describe their symptoms and trust the readers to understand what they mean: the world swirled around her head, her ears beginning to hum lowly, then louder, increasing into a high-pitched ring. She took a deep breath, her stomach turning over itself. Etc.
Symptoms can also mean the lump in your throat as a “symptom” of being sad enough to cry, or the warmth of your face as a “symptom” of embarrassment.
That might sound a bit silly, but I find it really helpful when I’m reading over mine or others work and looking for those places where showing would be better than telling. Have you described the symptoms, or just told the affliction?
Here’s a short list of “afflictions” and their associated “symptoms” to get you started (but make sure to explore how different characters express different afflictions, even in more odd or unusual ways!)
Any symptoms I missed?
show, don't tell:
anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking
frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping
sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps
happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking
boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails
fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands
disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm
tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile
confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions
show, don't tell:
anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking
frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping
sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps
happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking
boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails
fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands
disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm
tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile
confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions
ꜱʜᴏᴡ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟ (ɪɪ)
fear - open mouth - backing away - fake smiles - hugging themselves - long / dragged breaths - rocking
jealousy - snide remarks - darting looks - self-deprication - visible judging - folded arms - arguing a fair point
hurt - steadying breaths - overly bobbing head - teary - anger - trembling - pressed lips - insisting everything is 'fine'
lying (ticks) - picking at nails - touching hair - licking lips - laughing too loud - avoids subjects - won't meet eyes
worry - reaching out physically - pursing lips - looking to others - reassuring smiles - looking you up and down - tilted head - sympathetic nod
shame - will not meet eyes - feet turned away - teary - desperate - fidgeting - begging
humiliation - lashes back - cheeks flush - palms turn sweaty - face frowns -> brows scrunch, lips pull back - teary
love - looks for approval - blushing / turning red - clammy palms - nervous around certain people - laughs hard - turning clumsy - slip of thought
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE! Don’t ignore this in your writing!
Ive been thinking about this trend but instead of metaphorical items and junk its just me attempting diff artstyles
(btw thanks for @desklamper for compiling this) (Artists: @bamsara @runningwithscizzorz @konjkitkatty @donutfloats @acis-arts @aveloka-draws @lambment @unwri-ten @stychu-stych @dogiperson + me at the end)
What Is Showing vs. Telling Anyway?
When I decided to get serious about writing, I wrote short stories that meant something to me. Then I let people read them, but not just anyone. I picked people who knew a thing or two about craft. English teachers, the adults in my life who recommended books to me, and a lady who became a beloved writing tutor.
Those people challenged things like my sentence structure and word choices, but my writing tutor told me to show my stories, not to tell them.
I bristled. I was already showing them! That’s creative writing! If I wanted to tell my stories, I’d just say them out loud.
She clarified—in words that flew right over my head. My brain fuzzed out and I couldn’t grasp what she was saying, but I was embarrassed, so I nodded like I understood. It took me a while longer to get the hang of things by writing more (some terrible, some good) stories where I played around with my descriptions, narration, word choices, and themes.
Finally, years later, I understood.
Showing is describing the sensory details of your story. It’s diving into the emotional depth of your characters. It’s making the reader feel like they’re watching a movie while they’re reading your work.
Telling is more like narration. There’s no flowery language or sensory descriptions. It’s straightforward, clean, and nearly professional in nature.
Why Is “Telling” Normally a Bad Thing?
Clean-cut narration isn’t always terrible. Sometimes it works well for stories told by a narrator with dry humor or books about an intensely serious subject.
Most of the time though, “telling” keeps readers at arms-length. Picture yourself reading a history book. Each page gives you the facts. It might also describe a historical figure or the gory details of a war, but making those people or moments come to life in your mind isn’t the point of the text. It’s to convey information.
That’s what makes stories that rely on “telling” so different from stories that “show” everything.
Examples of Telling
If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking that it would be easier to picture the difference between these two concepts if there were examples. Lucky for you, I’ve already thought of that.
Example 1: I’m happy to see my best friend at school.
The narrator conveys their emotion, but not what that emotion makes them feel. There’s nothing to paint a picture of the school or even the friend.
Example 2: Henry didn’t like his dinner.
Cool, the character didn’t enjoy their food. Why? What was the taste or texture like? What did he experience that made him recognize the feeling of not enjoying the meal?
Example 3: Sofia made her bed in a hurry.
Why she was in a hurry might come in the next sentence or paragraph, but what did she feel while making that bed? What was her thought process? What’s her room like?
Examples of Showing
Let’s turn those same examples into sentences that “show.”
Example 1: I walk through the clustered school hallways with the rest of the student body, smelling their pre-exam nervous sweat and too much men’s body spray. This school would be miserable, except for my best friend. When I spot her by my dented locker, the smile on her face makes the cold bus ride to school worth it.
This is obviously more than a sentence, but notice how you get a better experience from it. The school hallways are crowded and smell bad. The protagonist doesn’t enjoy where they attend class. However, their best friend is a source of happiness. She waits by a dented metal locker, possibly with some good news, encouragement or an exciting update to something happening in the protagonist’s life. It makes you want to know what she’s going to say, especially because you can relate to what the main character is feeling.
Example 2: Henry’s nose scrunched up at the taste of his dinner. The chicken was in a desperate need for salt. This never would have happened if he had been allowed to make it.
We’ve all had a similar reaction to eating bad food. Your nose scrunches up, your mouth tightens, your tongue freezes. This example shows that in a way that you can feel yourself going through the same physical motions. It also explains why the food is bad using one of the five senses—it’s not salted enough.
Example 3: Sofia pulled her purple comforter tight against her headboard and threw her pillow at it as she ran out the door, late for the bus again.
More scenery details—the bed has a headboard and the comforter is purple. The protagonist is in a rush so her pillow is likely lopsided on the bed, which means the rest of her room is probably a bit messy too. The visual details make this a vivid scene and introduce the reader to a few of Sofia’s relatable character attributes.
How to Spot the Difference
I began to tell the difference by imagining myself reading a single sentence out loud. If I read any of the examples above before the “showing” edits, you’d have questions for me. See if a sentence, paragraph, or page makes you ask yourself:
What emotions does the protagonist feel right now?
How does the main character look through their body language?
What can the protagonist smell, taste, or feel?
What does the environment look like and is it necessary to describe it at this moment?
Does this scene need dialogue?
Do the characters feel flat?
Where’s the story’s hook?
The last question is tricky. The hook will be at the start of a short story or shortly within it, much like how a hook is within or at the end of the first chapter in a novel. If your writing doesn’t compel you to keep reading, it’s likely lacking the emotional depth that showing provides.
When Showing Goes Overboard
It’s always possible to have too much showing. It leads to the discussion English teachers always have about how Victor Hugo wrote for numerous pages about a single room in a chapter.
You could also fall into the trap of inserting flowery language into your work that you wouldn’t normally use, all for the sake of “painting a picture.” Your writing is your voice! It’s unique to you—how you speak, how you think, how you express yourself through stories. Write what comes naturally to you while keeping scenery, emotional depth, and sensory details in mind. If your words seem boring, that’s what editing is for (after you finish and step back from your work for a bit!).
Lose Yourself in Your Stories
“Showing” gets easier when you can lose yourself in whatever story you’re currently writing. If you’re struggling to do that, you might want to write in a quieter environment or put more details into your story or character outlines.
Have fun practicing this art form and you’ll watch your writing skills grow.
Writing Tips Pt. 8 - Show Don't Tell
Ah, the dreaded "Show, don't tell." The answer that gets trotted out in many a discussion when the question of "How do I improve my prose?" comes up. "Oh, but this is prose. Everything is telling!" some might cry (to which I say, "yes, buuuuut...that's not the point"). But none of that's helpful if you don't know what it means.
So let me show you.
First, for your consideration, an example:
Alice was scared. Bob was hunting her, and she feared for her life.
This is telling. We've told the reader that Alice is scared, that she's fearing for her life. That's as plain as the words on the screen. But it feels flat. There's no real depth to it. The reader can't really empathize with Alice, because while they know she's scared, they don't feel that she's scared.
We've told the reader, but we haven't shown the reader.
A brief diversion. The best example I've seen for how to write this actually comes from another Tumblr post, about how to write pain, though it can be applied to anything abstract.
Please go read because it's very good. I'll wait.
Done? Good.
The short of it is this: the post compares writing pain (or anything abstract, really) to drawing an egg, but you aren't given a white pencil, because we already know the egg is white. We need to see how the light hits it and the colors of the shadows and where the table reflects against the shell and the background behind it. Draw around the egg.
So with emotions, you need to write around them. Don't tell us Claire is happy. Show us, by writing the things that convey that happiness. Describe the bounce in her step, the brightness of the sunshine, the warmth in her chest. Show us Frank's heartache in his shortness of breath, the clenching of his heart, his narrowed focus, the muffled sounds around him. Set the mood rather than just telling us what the mood is.
Or consider a screenplay. In movies and television, characters don't just walk out onto the stage and announce, "I'm angry," and then deliver their lines. They stomp. They throw things. They slam doors. Their facial expressions contort. They flail their arms around in huge gestures and raise their voices. But they don't announce their feelings. You can use this in prose by describing the actions of a character to demonstrate how they feel, rather than just announcing their emotion to the reader.
Back to Alice.
Alice's shoulders quivered, skin dripping with sweat, breath coming in short, desperate gasps as she hid behind the couch. Bob's footsteps thundered through the silent house. The slap of the baseball bat in his hand tapped a tattoo against her eardrums. Louder. Closer. Beating in sync with the rapid flutter of her racing heart.
Now, instead of simply telling the reader that Alice is scared, we've pulled them into her world with description and metaphor to convey how being scared feels. The word "scared" doesn't even appear in the new example, but the reader still gets the message quite clearly.
This is how you show.
That's not to say you can never tell. Sometimes you need to. For instance, if your characters are going to have a long discussion about the intricate details of their preparations for a journey, you probably don't need to actually show us every last bit of that conversation. You can summarize it just fine. Or shorten a journey to a few lines if the destination is what matters more.
But for the most part, use your action words, flex your descriptive muscles, and show us what's going on rather than just telling us, especially when it comes to abstract things.
So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.
I'm going to try it.
GOT 8x06 script: Stories are important. They unite us. Nothing is more powerful.
Me: Oh, so stories are important? You mean stories like the one you’re rushing through at this very moment?