Sirius Black Sad - Tumblr Posts

Imagine Sirius at Grimmauld the summer after first year looking back at his yearbook because he misses all of his friends.

Now imagine him seeing all the “Have a good summer!”s and giggling and kicking his feet because he is in fact NOT having a good summer.

2 in the morning…

Sirius (answering the phone): Hello?

Hope: Sirius?

Sirius: Hope? What are you doing up?

Hope: Today when I told you to stop licking the batter from the whisk you looked sort of like a kicked puppy.

Sirius: What

Hope: I don’t mean to pry but…

Sirius: Yeah?

Hope: Sirius, dear, did you get traumatized in some way as a child?

Sirius: WHAT

Hope: Was it your parents?

Sirius: …yes

Hope: Do you want to talk about it?

Sirius: …

Sirius (voice breaking): YeAh that’d be reALy nice aCTually-

TW: Internal homophobia (Walburga and Orion nothing could make me like you)

Give me Sirius Black who knew he liked Remus romantically. Who wanted to say something but was stopped by an overwhelming fear of rejection because that was what he’d known all his life (courtesy of his parents).

Sirius knew he liked Remus but anytime someone asked him how he felt he would deny it because he was terrified that it would get back to Remus and it would ruin their relationship forever.

Give me Sirius who knew how he felt about Remus but was scared of it. Scared because he’d been told it was wrong. Scared that Remus would think so too.

Sirius was scared because what Remus thought mattered. He wanted Remus to approve of him. He was scared Remus wouldn’t look at him the same way anymore.

Give me Sirius who was denying his feelings for Remus from himself too. He knew that he was in love but he wouldn’t allow himself to think it because then it would be real.

Sirius was denying his feelings to himself because he didn’t want to feel that way. He just wished he could be normal.