Something Is Wrong With Me - Tumblr Posts

Green eyes?

A friend of mine has a baby. And i really want to feel connected to him.

But I don't.

It could be distance; they live halfway across the country and I know him primarily through pictures. He and I have met, and he is very cute and funny.

But I'm a little worried that I've put up an invisible wall that will prevent me from having a meaningful relationship.

I was the first of my close friends to get pregnant. They all had their children. I didn't have mine, and I worried that I'm jealous.

There is no regret in my decision; it was undoubtedly the right one. But many times I wish things had been different.

It could also just be a trauma response, and that would be completely reasonable.

But I can't help feeling guilty when my other friends gush over pictures and videos of him and I've already lost interest.

I feel like a monster.

Emma as various tweets bc I'm losing control of my life

definitely don't have a comfort character noooooo not hyperfixating at all...

a normal friday inside my brain: i should explain myself! but i dont want to waste their time... but they would feel worse if i ignore them and dont make up for my mistake! but they dont want to listen to your filthy excuses...

Bruce Lee said, “Be like water. You pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water in a vessel it becomes the vessel...”

It’s a bit different for me, I’m the gardener and the water both. The gardener doesn’t know where he is watering and the water doesn’t know what it is becoming...