Horrible Feelings - Tumblr Posts

IT WAS THAT BAD

When we were working on the basement last summer, he got some concrete work done. So there was  some time where the floor in the basement was all broken up.  He told me if I kept upsetting him he’d bury my body there and cover me up with concrete.  

No one would ever know.

Green eyes?

A friend of mine has a baby. And i really want to feel connected to him.

But I don't.

It could be distance; they live halfway across the country and I know him primarily through pictures. He and I have met, and he is very cute and funny.

But I'm a little worried that I've put up an invisible wall that will prevent me from having a meaningful relationship.

I was the first of my close friends to get pregnant. They all had their children. I didn't have mine, and I worried that I'm jealous.

There is no regret in my decision; it was undoubtedly the right one. But many times I wish things had been different.

It could also just be a trauma response, and that would be completely reasonable.

But I can't help feeling guilty when my other friends gush over pictures and videos of him and I've already lost interest.

I feel like a monster.