Sorry For Ranting - Tumblr Posts

my mom said she might put me in therapy /derogatory

I was just thinking about the finale again (even though I have been trying my hardest to pretend it doesn’t exist) and I can’t help but be so angry. Yes, the fans can create a better ending. I have read countless better endings that I want to be true. I have attempted to write these better endings. But we shouldn’t have to! A lot of the fix-it fics I’ve read aren’t too wildly different from the finale, they just include a scene with Cas or a different death for Dean. How hard would it have been to include one line of “hello Dean” or a shot of a trench coat or even just a better mention of Cas. And that’s without me even getting started on Eileen! I remember saying I shipped Saileen because I had to ship something that was actually gonna happen, but in the end neither of the ships got the ending they deserved. Just two passing mentions, neither including the love confession, and in Eileen’s case, almost nothing at all.

They both deserved better. We deserved better.

I miss reading draco malfoy fanfics and being in love with him, I love the feeling of pure joy and a mixture of sadness with knowing he can never be with me, I miss hating dumb y/n or og but then proceeding to love her and hating draco (at times) instead which always resulted in me needing a tiktok break, I miss cringing when they get too clingy after being enemies for literal years, I miss feeling all these emotions which I need now because I feel numb, I promise I won't even get mad at puffy eyes from crying all night. honestly speaking, i feel maybe I'm not numb I'm just not in love with him which I refuse to believe but it does happen, and even though I was embarrassed of my draco phase I've come to admit it wasn't a phase maybe I like him but I'm not in love with him, I wish there was a cure for my lovesickness

8/4/22

I have always been a wallflower, a wingwoman and a jester, but I am also a romantic and lonely.

I love helping other matches, but I am afraid of the idea of intimacy for myself, as well as the possibility that I'll never experience it.

I am proud of Penelope for blooming and asking for what she feels she needs in a moment of desperation.

You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.

Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.

But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.

She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.

Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.