Sorry For The Rant - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Why does affection and intimacy have to be seen as romantic. I crave platonic intimacy. I want to hug my friends, grab them and kiss them right on the cheek, Use their thighs as a pillow whilst I sleep, hold hands and rub my finger across their knuckles, braid their hair or do their makeup in stupid ways. Life’s too short to spend your life waiting for romantic love when you have platonic love right in front of you. I spent so much time messing around in relationships. I spent a year and 4 months dating someone who I thought I needed. Turns out that’s all stupid and I just wanted affection. I’m simply touch starved and I’m not gonna let societies views on love and affection dictate my life. Tell your friends you love them man. I’m only 16 I don’t need to find a life partner, I just want a group of tight knit friends that I can trust. I think I’ve found that and I’m done letting things fuck up my friendships.

Edit: I’m 18 now and I think this ideology has really helped me. I ended up dating a guy for a little over a year and a half but we broke up around 2 months ago and are now just best friends. I think I’m finally able to relax and focus more on my career and college and friends. The friends I mentioned are still all my friends. <3

God I fucking hate slut shaming. Why is this a thing. I have a bunch of guys and people going around calling me easy and tryna get with me, girls that I’ve done nothing to talking shit about me and calling me a whore, etc. I’m so tired of this. Freshman year I dated around a lot but I’m a Junior now and I’m just trying to mind my own business. My ex-boyfriend shared a bunch of stuff after he dumped me and moved schools so now I’m stuck with people talking about that anytime I try getting with someone else. I’ve been so insecure I’ve been wearing baggy clothes and trying to hide my body. Why is this happening to me. Why is everyone calling me a whore. I just want it to all go away. I’ve only ever slept with one guy and that was my ex. I trusted him and he fucked me over. My current partner and I have been talking about maybe taking things farther but that doesn’t make me a slut we’re dating. I gave him a fucking hickey and now some girl is going around calling me a whore for it? I hate this. My friends always talk to me about everything I’m like the therapist of people I’m not even close with yet I’m too terrified to tell anyone how I am feeling. Now I’m stuck ranting about stuff on tumblr cuz Im too embarrassed to let people know that this whole thing is getting to me. I should be strong. I’ve always been the type of person to wear a skirt and try to look hot whilst telling everyone to fuck off and have no shame. Meanwhile inside I’m just a weak little cry baby that’s scared about every little thing. I love dressing for myself but now I’m too afraid to wear crop tops, I’ve been stuck wearing hoodies and pants cuz I don’t wanna show my body anymore. I wanna be able to live my life and be myself again.

im proud of myself. ive improved so much in such a short amount of time. i dont know how, or why. but i know its been a wild ride. I just want to say, thank you for watching my stuff. thank you for liking and reblogging my posts. thank you for all of your kind comments. thank you for being with me from the start. i know i still have a long ways to go in my art journey, but looking back,

im happy.

im content with what ive done. im happy ive improved. I drew this two years ago today:

and now im drawing things like this:

that’s crazy. that’s two years of improvement. and it’s all because of you. the encouragement you all gave me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I had a homework due Monday but I didn’t do anything. So I cried, in my dream.

The realization that I have been drawing art for 7 fucking years….. I never really stopped and asked myself how long I have been drawing for till now…. 7 years is a long time.. 6th grade to well… now I’m out of school going to college soon… and my art is so cartoony but it’s so much better than how it started. I’m proud that I kept up art for so long. Many of it just being drawings of characters. But it’s so much better than when I draw foxes all the time…. Take moment to talk to yourself and look back at hobbies and remember that you are better at it now… I’m glad I started to draw. And I enjoy it. I’m not doing it as a job like my original plan. But… it’s on the side for others to see. I might look for old drawings and compare it. Maybe someone would like to see it?

Drawing of Sam (wasn’t og name lol) from 2020

I’m not making any more characters sheets… they was so annoying to make! Ahhhh! And I didn’t make everyone’s character sheet. Tahts okat. I didn’t what to anyways.

And I’m t try in g to make the comiscZz I’m doing it…. Very slowly tho. My b

I have just been doodling with my characters trying to make templates of how they interact with others and the world… and marks ocs.. omg I love draiwng ithers ocs! ….. pass some over …

And I have been playing roblox recently… fuck i have been playing them stupid fnf roblox games!!!! But I love fnf and rhythm games in general. I’ll post more art soon. They are just sitting in my art program waiting… I also have been staying up a few nights draiwng nsfw… I’m trying to get used to drawing poses… but also different poses that aren’t nsfw….

And I keep trying to tell myself that the comics don’t have to look perfect.. they don’t have to look perfect cuz nothing is perfect. I know my art style is good. I just think to much and that’s mostly why I’m holding back some comics… and I hate it. Fuck!

It’s like 11:55 pm rn.. goodnight. <3

I’m second guessing myself guys. I said I have been draiwng for 7-8 years but at this point… I can’t tell if I’m telling the truth or not… I was in gr 6 when I started… and now I’m like… 19 in the days. So…. FUCK! i can’t math T-T cuz it feels like it’s been so long but then I remember the year then I get confused. And then when I try to dig deeper…. I get more confused…. GAH! IM IM IM GOING TO GO CRAZY! Waaaahhh!

Sorry for the lil rant. This ain’t even amongus related man… I’m just so confused with myself…. And I hate it! IM CONFUSING MYSELF MORE AS I TYPE THIS oh my gosh…. T-T

i will be clear rn... im not good at making comics ive never made one as i think i have said. but i wont be posting it for a while. i am. just writing it down and thinking of a new format that i like. my hand writing is terrible and my friend sidney i have mentioned him a few times. he makes stories so ill be asking for his input. on moony. if you dont want to like read the story before the drawn part just tell me and i dont post it in the discord server. im taking my time and will like.... change it or whater. i was kinda winging it lol. but i know how i want the story to go. im just typing it down so i have the whole story instead of "oh i have the genral story" obvy i may have made it a bit confusing in the first ones... i might redo them or clareify what happened if i didnt. my bad guys. ill still post stupid little arts and doodles of the character. its probably not canon if i doodle it lol and the prevous stuff is like..., the old shit. soooo. ill probably delete it.

How Tf do you write a a paper for hair cutting and styling! WHAT DO I DO! IM JUST THROWN INTO THIS WITH NOTHING! WHAT DO I! “Make a report including research you’ve done on this career path and your goals after graduation” like… BRO IM ONLY DOING THIS CUZ THATS THE ONLY THING IM QUILIGIED IN GAAHH! *sobs*

And no I didn’t do any research into hair! Why did I do cosmetology cuz my old friend from middle school said that she wanted to do it and but I moved so I joined just for her! Gah!