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When the Past Comes Calling, I Can't Breathe

Day 1 Panic Attack, Day 2 Trust Issues, Day 11 Loneliness, Day 13 Team as Family, Day 14 Left for Dead, Day 15 Childhood Trauma, Day 28 Exposure

When an old "friend" of Katsuki's resurfaces, he tries hard to keep that sludge villain incident a secret from his squad. Unfortunately, it's harder said than done.

Class 1-A had been kept inside of UA’s walls for a while, and as soon as they were given the greenlight to finally go out again now that they all had their provisional licenses, Katsuki’s extras roped him into a trip to the arcade. He hadn’t wanted to go with them, but one of the conditions Aizawa-sensei had set was they had to go in groups, and his extras were some of the few in their class that Katsuki could stand, so he was left with little choice. The allure of going outside and not having people stare at him or whisper about him just out of earshot was worth dealing with his extras being overly excited and overdramatic for a little while. They’d gone back to their system of having one person choose their destination, as they had done before the dorm system, and it was Sero’s turn. He’d chosen to go to the arcade, and Katsuki figured at least he’d have some fun wiping the floor with his extras at all the games.

Somehow, the day had actually been going rather smoothly, as they hadn’t gotten kicked out yet, they hadn’t broken anything in their enthusiasm, and the only time they air hockey puck went off of the table, which surprisingly hadn’t been his fault, no one had gotten hurt. Katsuki had actually smiled a couple of times after watching his extras play, and seeing their disappointed faces whenever he won. He really should’ve known better than to trust and let his guard down a little thinking it would just be a simple day with his extras. His life was never that easy anymore.

“Hey, Katsuki. Long time no see.”

Katsuki went completely still, his heart beginning to pound in his chest as a voice he hadn’t heard in months drifted back into his ears.

“Come on, Katsuki, don’t ignore me. We’ve been friends for too long for that.”

Katsuki’s temper flared at that, feeling like he wanted to tear the bastard’s face off, but he tried his best to keep his anger under control. His fists however seemed to have different ideas, and he only noticed he’d been crushing his cup when soda started to spill down his hand.

He took a shaky, deep breath, turned towards the bastard, and said, “I have no idea who you are. Leave me alone.” Then he turned to his extras, who had mercifully been very absorbed in the shooting game they’d been playing, and just muttered, “I’m getting another drink.”

His extras acknowledged him briefly, and he stormed off to the nearest trash can, hoping that the damn bastard would get the hint and leave him alone. But it seemed the bastard was just as stupid as he was in middle school, and followed him.

“Don’t be such an asshole, Katsuki. Just because I didn’t end up going to UA doesn’t mean you can ignore me now.”

Katsuki whirled around, facing Koshinuke, his heart still pounding in his chest from anger and an emotion he was trying to smother with anger. He wanted to scream in this fucker’s face, he wanted to tear his throat out, but he couldn’t, that would draw too much attention, so he just settled on a low growl filled with hatred. “I told you, I don’t know who you are, leave me alone.”

Koshinuke rolled his eyes, and lightly glared at him. “You can’t just pretend you don’t know me, asshole. Come on, we’ve been friends for years, and suddenly when you get into UA, you just block everyone and drop off the face of the planet? Not cool, man.”

Katsuki’s hand clenched even harder on the paper cup, and he threw it into the trash can as hard as he could, some drops of soda still spilling down his hand. “I won’t tell you again, leave me the fuck alone.”

“What? Are you afraid to be seen with me with your big shot UA friends, or something?” Koshinuke asked presumptuously. “You can’t just ignore the past.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened as keeping his temper under control became even harder. Middle school Katsuki probably would’ve blown him up, but he didn’t want to ruin today for his extras, they’d been so restless and antsy being kept inside the dorms all the time. If he used his quirk, they’d get kicked out and he just couldn’t do that to his extras.

“You have no right to bring up the past with me, you selfish bastard.” Katsuki hissed, his voice full of venom. “You ever think I fucking blocked you because I didn’t want to fucking talk to you ever again after what you did to me?”

Koshinuke scoffed. “Seriously, dude, are you still mad about that? That was forever ago.”

“Time makes no goddamn difference, you abandoned me to that thing.” Katsuki growled, some of his emotions leaking into his voice.

“We knew you’d be okay.” Koshinuke dismissed. “You’re Bakugou Katsuki, you can do anything. You always said you could.”

“Don’t throw my own fucking words back in my face, you traitorous bastard!” Katsuki’s heart was beating so loud, everyone in this arcade should’ve been able to hear it, and he didn’t think it was only from righteous anger.

“Ugh, why are you still so mad about that, Katsuki?” Koshinuke sighed as if Katsuki was annoying him. “You’re fine now. You got into UA, you’re becoming a hero, everything you always said you’d do, you did. It’s not like it really did anything to you.”

“That’s not the goddamn point.” Katsuki sneered. “And stop calling me Katsuki, you lost that right a long time ago.”

“Why are you being so sensitive, dude?” Koshinuke groaned. “I swear, you’re sounding like pathetic Deku or something.”

Katsuki had never wanted to punch someone in the face so badly in his life. His body was trembling with anger, his heart was beating out of his chest, and his fingernails were digging into his palms as he tried his best to keep his anger under control.

“ You left me there to die. ” Katsuki whispered out, his voice gravelly and rough as his throat closed as he spoke.

“This guy bothering you, man?” Katsuki was startled to hear Kirishima, but his extras were suddenly behind him, looking mildly upset. They must have finished their game and gone looking for him when he hadn’t returned.

“We’re old friends from middle school.” Koshinuke said, smiling in a way that made Katsuki want to stab him in the eye.

“No we’re not.” Katsuki stated flatly. “And yes, he is bothering me. I told him to leave me alone, get him out of my sight before I blow this whole damn building.”

The words had thankfully come out like an order, but there had been an inflection in his voice he hadn’t wanted. He just hoped his extras chalked it up to him being ridiculously angry.

“You heard him, beat it.” Kaminari said, looking as serious as he could be. In any other situation, Katsuki would’ve found it hilarious. “Kacchan doesn’t want you around.”

“Yeah, leave us alone, dude.” Sero said. “We don’t want any drama, okay?

Koshinuke seemed affronted by his extras. “Katsuki, come on, we’re friends-”

“Don’t make us get the security guard.” Kirishima interrupted, crossing his arms. “Bakugou told you to leave him alone, I suggest you listen this time. Trust me, man, you don’t want this fight.”

Koshinuke looked between his extras, still looking offended, but when all of his extras glared right back, moving closer to him as if to protect him, something they’d started after Kamino, he finally backed off to Katsuki’s relief.

“Fine, whatever, man. Guess you’re still the same asshole you always were.” Koshinuke scoffed, sneering at him. “Hope you all enjoy being an asshole’s lapdog.”

Koshinuke put his hands in his pockets and stormed off. Katsuki was still trembling with anger, but hopefully his heart would calm down soon. He wasn’t sure why it was beating so fast, it didn’t usually, but he hadn’t been this angry since Ground Beta.

“You okay, dude? You seem really upset.” Kirishima said, placing his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off.

“I’m fine. The fucker just wouldn’t leave me alone.” Katsuki said, still glaring at the bastard’s back as he walked away. He held up his hand, which was still covered in sticky soda, and he just sighed in annoyance. “Need to fucking wash my hands. I’ll be back.”

Before his extras could say anything, he stalked off the bathroom, trying to hide how his hands were shaking. He ran his hands under the cold water, scrubbing them intensely, and tried to push the interaction out of his mind. His breathing was coming faster and faster, and his heart was beating so hard in his chest it was painful. His wet hands then came to his throat, clawing at it as breathing suddenly became much, much harder than it should be.

Suppressed memories started to break through to his mind’s eye, flashing across his eyes and devastating them with his power. The sight of his shaking hands in the shower as he scrubbed his body raw trying to get rid of the feeling of sludge all over his body, his stomach rolling as he still felt disgusting no matter how hard he scrubbed. The panic that had been caused by the attack, the fires that had started, the way his quirk had turned from a defensive measure into an uncontrollable weapon for the villain. Coughing as much as he was breathing, feeling the villain’s sludge go down his throat, only being allowed to breathe on the villain’s terms. His friends staring in terror at the monstrosity swirling around him, his arm still outstretched as he silently begged for their help. Watching in horror as the people he thought were friends turned around and ran away from him, abandoning him to be at the villain’s mercy, letting his body get swallowed by the darkness he couldn’t escape on his own.

Katsuki crashed to his knees, his soapy hands still clawing at his throat, his heart beating so hard it must be cracking his ribs. Up until that point, Katsuki had never felt so close to death, and now it felt like he was right back there, his body trembling and weakening from the inescapable power of the memories that seemed to be slowly killing him.

“-kugou! Bakugou! Katsuki!” A strange hand grasped his, holding it tightly.

Instinctively, Katsuki’s quirk went off, as if trying to protect himself from a threat he couldn’t recognize. But the hand stayed, unaffected by his explosion, and another hand then cupped his cheek. Again, Katsuki’s hand came to the foreign feeling, setting off another firecracker. Again, the hand didn’t pull away, and Katsuki didn’t know why.

It took a little bit, but eventually Katsuki recognized a red blur, recognizing the color of Kirishima’s hair anywhere. He blinked hard, just now realizing that he was crying and that was why he couldn’t see, trying to focus on the sight of his friend to keep him grounded.

“You can do it, Katsuki, just try to breathe with me, okay?” Kirishima said, pulling Katsuki’s hand to Kirishima’s chest. He breathed in slowly, a soft voice besides them counting to four, and then breathed out as the voice counted to seven.

Breath slowly scraped through Katsuki’s lungs, his body still trembling as he tried his best to focus on his friends. The voice belonged to Mina, who wore the same worried expression that Kirishima did as Katsuki became dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“Maybe we should call Aizawa-sensei.” He heard Sero whisper to Kirishima. “Or take him to the hospital, he’s not calming down.”

Katsuki whimpered as he shook his head quickly, as the thought of someone else seeing him like this made his skin crawl. He was still gasping for air, but he managed to whisper, “no hospitals.”

“Katsuki, you’re having a panic attack.” Kirishima said, still squeezing his hands. Ah, Kirishima had his quirk activated on his hands, that’s why the explosions hadn’t worked. As much as he didn’t want to be touched right now, he was somewhat glad he hadn’t hurt his friend. “I really think you need to go to the hospital.”

He shook his head again, his stomach twisting painfully, knowing that a trip to the hospital would only lead to negative outcomes. “Please. No hospitals.”

Kirishima bit his lip with his shark teeth, and Katsuki saw the uncertainty in his friends’ faces. The tiny part of his logical mind that wasn’t being drowned out by panic told him he needed to calm down or his friends would take him to the hospital. While the panic was still strong, while his body still trembled, he tried to match the four-seven breathing pattern Kirishima and Mina had shown him. Encouraged by Katsuki’s attempts, Kirishima squeezed his hand again and started breathing deeply again, keeping Katsuki’s hand pressed against his chest.

Katsuki wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually his breathing finally calmed down to meet the four-seven pattern his friends were giving him. The dizziness that had sent his stomach rolling finally calmed down, and while stray tears were still streaming down his cheeks, he could finally breathe again, letting him think clearly.

“You back with us, Bakugou?” Kirishima’s voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid to set him off again.

Katsuki wanted to shove his friends away, to scream at them to leave him alone, but he didn’t have the strength to. Instead he just nodded, still panting.

“Are you okay, Kacchan?” Kaminari asked, and Katsuki just glared at him. He nodded, grimacing. “Yeah, got it, stupid question, shutting up.”

“Okay, what the hell just happened?” Mina asked, staring at him with her raccoon eyes, emotion shining within them.

“‘Ts nothing.” Katsuki muttered.

“Bullshit, you don’t have panic attacks for nothing.” Kirishima said, and he wondered when his friends had gotten so good at calling him out. “Come on, dude, you gotta tell us what happened. We’re your friends. Did that guy hurt you or something?”

Katsuki shook his head, and thought for a moment. His extras were like dogs with bones, once they were on the trail of something, they never let it go. He hated revealing any weaknesses to anyone, but he supposed they had just talked him down from a panic attack, and they’d want to ‘help’ him. But since he still didn’t want to talk, his still shaking hand felt around for his phone for a moment, and then pulled it out. He searched up the story, as he knew it had made the news, and then held his phone out for them to read.

His friends looked confused, but they took the phone from him. All of his friends crowded around so they could all read the article.

“All Might defeats sludge type villain… hey wait a minute I remember this, it was on the news.” Sero said, staring at the phone with a puzzled expression before his eyes went wide and his voice became incredulous. “Wait a minute, that was you? ”

Katsuki just nodded curtly.

“Oh my god, this is about you? ” Mina said, gesturing to the article. “You were the one that he…”

Katsuki nodded again.

His friends’ faces went white and he looked down at the floor, unable to take the emotions in their eyes. Kirishima squeezed his hand again, disarming his quirk so he just felt his friend’s calloused skin.

“Dude, I’m so sorry- I, I mean,” Kirishima sputtered, “We’re glad you’re okay.”

“Are… you okay?” Kaminari asked hesitantly.

Katsuki nodded again, even if his body was still trembling and the occasional tear still ran down his cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kirishima said, his voice sounding far too sincere for Katsuki to handle. “We’re your friends, you can tell us stuff like this. We’re here to support you.”

Katsuki glared at Kirishima. “It was none of your business.”

Kirishima winced as if he’d been expecting that answer.

“But… wait a minute.” Sero said. “If this happened because you got attacked by a villain, then… what does that guy have to do with it?”

Katsuki squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Just drop it, okay? This has nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business.”

That got him looks from all of his friends.

“Bakugou, we’re your friends.” Kirishima said. “When some random asshole hurts you, we’re here to help you. We care about you.”

“Besides, it kinda became our business when we needed to talk you down from a panic attack.” Sero said plainly.

“Yeah. So stop being mister stoic and secretive and emotionally repressed for a little bit, okay?” Mina added. “Just talk to us.”

“I’m not emotionally repressed.” Katsuki murmured petulantly.

“Kacchan, you’re the king of being emotionally repressed.” Kaminari deadpanned. “Come on, man. We- we need to know why we need to beat up that guy if we ever see him again.”

That got Katsuki to snort, chuckling a little at his friend’s idiocy. Katsuki took a deep breath and sighed. His stomach was still twisting painfully, but his heart was at least calming a little being surrounded by his friends. There was still a part of him that wanted to scrub his skin raw again, but it was calming down the longer his friends’ spent hovering over him.

“I… was walking home like I always did. Was hanging out with that bastard and another idiot from middle school. We were… taking a shortcut, deciding what to do for the day. We… went into this alleyway, and then this wall of sludge came up from the sewers. Grabs me. And those two fucking cowards… they turned and ran at the first fucking sign of trouble. Left me to deal with it alone. I was fine, of course, All Might was right around the corner, it was nothing, but… I couldn’t forgive them for just leaving me there. Haven’t talked to them since.”

Katsuki kept his eyes on the ground, able to sense his friends’ godawful pity in their eyes without needing to see it. His friends knew him well enough that that last bit of bravado was fake. He could tell by how hard Kirishima was squeezing his hand.

“That’s so horrible.” Mina said, her voice wavering a little. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“I told you, it was nothing!” Katsuki snapped.

“Oh yeah, it was totally nothing.” Sero muttered, rolling his eyes and glaring at him. “It was so nothing that you were sent into a panic attack just by seeing that asshole again.”

Katsuki matched his glare. Sero didn’t back down.

“So we’re totally actually beating them up if we ever see them again, right?” Kaminari asked, breaking the tension a little.

Katsuki breathed out a soft chuckle. “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”

“We’re not saying you need us to fight your battles.” Sero smirked. “We’re just saying that if we ever see those guys again, they’re just gonna accidentally get punched in the face a couple dozen times. No biggie.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Katsuki scoffed quietly.

“Yeah, but trust me, we want to.” Kaminari said with a soft, idiotic smirk. “No one abandons our Kacchan to die and gets away with it.”

Katuki’s eyes went wide, looking at Kaminari in shock. “What… did you just say?”

“Oh um. When- when we were walking over to you after I kicked Sero’s ass-”

There was a soft interruption of “We fucking tied! That last kill didn’t count!”

A beat.

“After I finished kicking Sero’s ass, I um, kinda heard you say that he- that he left you for dead.” Kaminari said, obviously trying to be light despite the subject matter, trying to play it off as if it was nothing. “So yeah, we’re gonna punch those guys, like, a lot. They fucking suck.”

Katsuki flushed red, unaware that his friends had heard that part of the conversation. Fuck. He opened his mouth to dismiss his own words, but he couldn’t come up with anything that would actually work. Fuck.

Kirishima squeezed his hand again. “It’s okay, Bakugou. You don’t have to say anything.”

Kirishima then let go of him and stood up. “I think we should all go home. I’m kinda tired. What about you guys?”

“No.” Katsuki said. “You were all so excited to get out of the dorms for a little while. I’m fine, let’s go back to playing.”

His legs were still shaking a little, but Katsuki managed to get himself up. His friends hovered over him a little, as if waiting to catch him if he fell. Katsuki held his head up, and looked them all in the eye. His friends’ exchanged a couple of worried glances, but they eventually nodded, letting him not be held back by this as he wanted.

“Yeah, sure, man.” Sero said. “I say Kami owes me a rematch from earlier, we fucking tied!”

Katsuki felt a tiny smile grace his lips, and then Kirishima slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulder. This time, Katsuki let it stay a whole three seconds longer than he usually did.

When the Past Comes Calling, I Can't Breathe

Day 1 Panic Attack, Day 2 Trust Issues, Day 11 Loneliness, Day 13 Team as Family, Day 14 Left for Dead, Day 15 Childhood Trauma, Day 28 Exposure

When an old "friend" of Katsuki's resurfaces, he tries hard to keep that sludge villain incident a secret from his squad. Unfortunately, it's harder said than done.

Class 1-A had been kept inside of UA’s walls for a while, and as soon as they were given the greenlight to finally go out again now that they all had their provisional licenses, Katsuki’s extras roped him into a trip to the arcade. He hadn’t wanted to go with them, but one of the conditions Aizawa-sensei had set was they had to go in groups, and his extras were some of the few in their class that Katsuki could stand, so he was left with little choice. The allure of going outside and not having people stare at him or whisper about him just out of earshot was worth dealing with his extras being overly excited and overdramatic for a little while. They’d gone back to their system of having one person choose their destination, as they had done before the dorm system, and it was Sero’s turn. He’d chosen to go to the arcade, and Katsuki figured at least he’d have some fun wiping the floor with his extras at all the games.

Somehow, the day had actually been going rather smoothly, as they hadn’t gotten kicked out yet, they hadn’t broken anything in their enthusiasm, and the only time they air hockey puck went off of the table, which surprisingly hadn’t been his fault, no one had gotten hurt. Katsuki had actually smiled a couple of times after watching his extras play, and seeing their disappointed faces whenever he won. He really should’ve known better than to trust and let his guard down a little thinking it would just be a simple day with his extras. His life was never that easy anymore.

“Hey, Katsuki. Long time no see.”

Katsuki went completely still, his heart beginning to pound in his chest as a voice he hadn’t heard in months drifted back into his ears.

“Come on, Katsuki, don’t ignore me. We’ve been friends for too long for that.”

Katsuki’s temper flared at that, feeling like he wanted to tear the bastard’s face off, but he tried his best to keep his anger under control. His fists however seemed to have different ideas, and he only noticed he’d been crushing his cup when soda started to spill down his hand.

He took a shaky, deep breath, turned towards the bastard, and said, “I have no idea who you are. Leave me alone.” Then he turned to his extras, who had mercifully been very absorbed in the shooting game they’d been playing, and just muttered, “I’m getting another drink.”

His extras acknowledged him briefly, and he stormed off to the nearest trash can, hoping that the damn bastard would get the hint and leave him alone. But it seemed the bastard was just as stupid as he was in middle school, and followed him.

“Don’t be such an asshole, Katsuki. Just because I didn’t end up going to UA doesn’t mean you can ignore me now.”

Katsuki whirled around, facing Koshinuke, his heart still pounding in his chest from anger and an emotion he was trying to smother with anger. He wanted to scream in this fucker’s face, he wanted to tear his throat out, but he couldn’t, that would draw too much attention, so he just settled on a low growl filled with hatred. “I told you, I don’t know who you are, leave me alone.”

Koshinuke rolled his eyes, and lightly glared at him. “You can’t just pretend you don’t know me, asshole. Come on, we’ve been friends for years, and suddenly when you get into UA, you just block everyone and drop off the face of the planet? Not cool, man.”

Katsuki’s hand clenched even harder on the paper cup, and he threw it into the trash can as hard as he could, some drops of soda still spilling down his hand. “I won’t tell you again, leave me the fuck alone.”

“What? Are you afraid to be seen with me with your big shot UA friends, or something?” Koshinuke asked presumptuously. “You can’t just ignore the past.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened as keeping his temper under control became even harder. Middle school Katsuki probably would’ve blown him up, but he didn’t want to ruin today for his extras, they’d been so restless and antsy being kept inside the dorms all the time. If he used his quirk, they’d get kicked out and he just couldn’t do that to his extras.

“You have no right to bring up the past with me, you selfish bastard.” Katsuki hissed, his voice full of venom. “You ever think I fucking blocked you because I didn’t want to fucking talk to you ever again after what you did to me?”

Koshinuke scoffed. “Seriously, dude, are you still mad about that? That was forever ago.”

“Time makes no goddamn difference, you abandoned me to that thing.” Katsuki growled, some of his emotions leaking into his voice.

“We knew you’d be okay.” Koshinuke dismissed. “You’re Bakugou Katsuki, you can do anything. You always said you could.”

“Don’t throw my own fucking words back in my face, you traitorous bastard!” Katsuki’s heart was beating so loud, everyone in this arcade should’ve been able to hear it, and he didn’t think it was only from righteous anger.

“Ugh, why are you still so mad about that, Katsuki?” Koshinuke sighed as if Katsuki was annoying him. “You’re fine now. You got into UA, you’re becoming a hero, everything you always said you’d do, you did. It’s not like it really did anything to you.”

“That’s not the goddamn point.” Katsuki sneered. “And stop calling me Katsuki, you lost that right a long time ago.”

“Why are you being so sensitive, dude?” Koshinuke groaned. “I swear, you’re sounding like pathetic Deku or something.”

Katsuki had never wanted to punch someone in the face so badly in his life. His body was trembling with anger, his heart was beating out of his chest, and his fingernails were digging into his palms as he tried his best to keep his anger under control.

“ You left me there to die. ” Katsuki whispered out, his voice gravelly and rough as his throat closed as he spoke.

“This guy bothering you, man?” Katsuki was startled to hear Kirishima, but his extras were suddenly behind him, looking mildly upset. They must have finished their game and gone looking for him when he hadn’t returned.

“We’re old friends from middle school.” Koshinuke said, smiling in a way that made Katsuki want to stab him in the eye.

“No we’re not.” Katsuki stated flatly. “And yes, he is bothering me. I told him to leave me alone, get him out of my sight before I blow this whole damn building.”

The words had thankfully come out like an order, but there had been an inflection in his voice he hadn’t wanted. He just hoped his extras chalked it up to him being ridiculously angry.

“You heard him, beat it.” Kaminari said, looking as serious as he could be. In any other situation, Katsuki would’ve found it hilarious. “Kacchan doesn’t want you around.”

“Yeah, leave us alone, dude.” Sero said. “We don’t want any drama, okay?

Koshinuke seemed affronted by his extras. “Katsuki, come on, we’re friends-”

“Don’t make us get the security guard.” Kirishima interrupted, crossing his arms. “Bakugou told you to leave him alone, I suggest you listen this time. Trust me, man, you don’t want this fight.”

Koshinuke looked between his extras, still looking offended, but when all of his extras glared right back, moving closer to him as if to protect him, something they’d started after Kamino, he finally backed off to Katsuki’s relief.

“Fine, whatever, man. Guess you’re still the same asshole you always were.” Koshinuke scoffed, sneering at him. “Hope you all enjoy being an asshole’s lapdog.”

Koshinuke put his hands in his pockets and stormed off. Katsuki was still trembling with anger, but hopefully his heart would calm down soon. He wasn’t sure why it was beating so fast, it didn’t usually, but he hadn’t been this angry since Ground Beta.

“You okay, dude? You seem really upset.” Kirishima said, placing his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off.

“I’m fine. The fucker just wouldn’t leave me alone.” Katsuki said, still glaring at the bastard’s back as he walked away. He held up his hand, which was still covered in sticky soda, and he just sighed in annoyance. “Need to fucking wash my hands. I’ll be back.”

Before his extras could say anything, he stalked off the bathroom, trying to hide how his hands were shaking. He ran his hands under the cold water, scrubbing them intensely, and tried to push the interaction out of his mind. His breathing was coming faster and faster, and his heart was beating so hard in his chest it was painful. His wet hands then came to his throat, clawing at it as breathing suddenly became much, much harder than it should be.

Suppressed memories started to break through to his mind’s eye, flashing across his eyes and devastating them with his power. The sight of his shaking hands in the shower as he scrubbed his body raw trying to get rid of the feeling of sludge all over his body, his stomach rolling as he still felt disgusting no matter how hard he scrubbed. The panic that had been caused by the attack, the fires that had started, the way his quirk had turned from a defensive measure into an uncontrollable weapon for the villain. Coughing as much as he was breathing, feeling the villain’s sludge go down his throat, only being allowed to breathe on the villain’s terms. His friends staring in terror at the monstrosity swirling around him, his arm still outstretched as he silently begged for their help. Watching in horror as the people he thought were friends turned around and ran away from him, abandoning him to be at the villain’s mercy, letting his body get swallowed by the darkness he couldn’t escape on his own.

Katsuki crashed to his knees, his soapy hands still clawing at his throat, his heart beating so hard it must be cracking his ribs. Up until that point, Katsuki had never felt so close to death, and now it felt like he was right back there, his body trembling and weakening from the inescapable power of the memories that seemed to be slowly killing him.

“-kugou! Bakugou! Katsuki!” A strange hand grasped his, holding it tightly.

Instinctively, Katsuki’s quirk went off, as if trying to protect himself from a threat he couldn’t recognize. But the hand stayed, unaffected by his explosion, and another hand then cupped his cheek. Again, Katsuki’s hand came to the foreign feeling, setting off another firecracker. Again, the hand didn’t pull away, and Katsuki didn’t know why.

It took a little bit, but eventually Katsuki recognized a red blur, recognizing the color of Kirishima’s hair anywhere. He blinked hard, just now realizing that he was crying and that was why he couldn’t see, trying to focus on the sight of his friend to keep him grounded.

“You can do it, Katsuki, just try to breathe with me, okay?” Kirishima said, pulling Katsuki’s hand to Kirishima’s chest. He breathed in slowly, a soft voice besides them counting to four, and then breathed out as the voice counted to seven.

Breath slowly scraped through Katsuki’s lungs, his body still trembling as he tried his best to focus on his friends. The voice belonged to Mina, who wore the same worried expression that Kirishima did as Katsuki became dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“Maybe we should call Aizawa-sensei.” He heard Sero whisper to Kirishima. “Or take him to the hospital, he’s not calming down.”

Katsuki whimpered as he shook his head quickly, as the thought of someone else seeing him like this made his skin crawl. He was still gasping for air, but he managed to whisper, “no hospitals.”

“Katsuki, you’re having a panic attack.” Kirishima said, still squeezing his hands. Ah, Kirishima had his quirk activated on his hands, that’s why the explosions hadn’t worked. As much as he didn’t want to be touched right now, he was somewhat glad he hadn’t hurt his friend. “I really think you need to go to the hospital.”

He shook his head again, his stomach twisting painfully, knowing that a trip to the hospital would only lead to negative outcomes. “Please. No hospitals.”

Kirishima bit his lip with his shark teeth, and Katsuki saw the uncertainty in his friends’ faces. The tiny part of his logical mind that wasn’t being drowned out by panic told him he needed to calm down or his friends would take him to the hospital. While the panic was still strong, while his body still trembled, he tried to match the four-seven breathing pattern Kirishima and Mina had shown him. Encouraged by Katsuki’s attempts, Kirishima squeezed his hand again and started breathing deeply again, keeping Katsuki’s hand pressed against his chest.

Katsuki wasn’t sure how long it took, but eventually his breathing finally calmed down to meet the four-seven pattern his friends were giving him. The dizziness that had sent his stomach rolling finally calmed down, and while stray tears were still streaming down his cheeks, he could finally breathe again, letting him think clearly.

“You back with us, Bakugou?” Kirishima’s voice was barely a whisper, as if afraid to set him off again.

Katsuki wanted to shove his friends away, to scream at them to leave him alone, but he didn’t have the strength to. Instead he just nodded, still panting.

“Are you okay, Kacchan?” Kaminari asked, and Katsuki just glared at him. He nodded, grimacing. “Yeah, got it, stupid question, shutting up.”

“Okay, what the hell just happened?” Mina asked, staring at him with her raccoon eyes, emotion shining within them.

“‘Ts nothing.” Katsuki muttered.

“Bullshit, you don’t have panic attacks for nothing.” Kirishima said, and he wondered when his friends had gotten so good at calling him out. “Come on, dude, you gotta tell us what happened. We’re your friends. Did that guy hurt you or something?”

Katsuki shook his head, and thought for a moment. His extras were like dogs with bones, once they were on the trail of something, they never let it go. He hated revealing any weaknesses to anyone, but he supposed they had just talked him down from a panic attack, and they’d want to ‘help’ him. But since he still didn’t want to talk, his still shaking hand felt around for his phone for a moment, and then pulled it out. He searched up the story, as he knew it had made the news, and then held his phone out for them to read.

His friends looked confused, but they took the phone from him. All of his friends crowded around so they could all read the article.

“All Might defeats sludge type villain… hey wait a minute I remember this, it was on the news.” Sero said, staring at the phone with a puzzled expression before his eyes went wide and his voice became incredulous. “Wait a minute, that was you? ”

Katsuki just nodded curtly.

“Oh my god, this is about you? ” Mina said, gesturing to the article. “You were the one that he…”

Katsuki nodded again.

His friends’ faces went white and he looked down at the floor, unable to take the emotions in their eyes. Kirishima squeezed his hand again, disarming his quirk so he just felt his friend’s calloused skin.

“Dude, I’m so sorry- I, I mean,” Kirishima sputtered, “We’re glad you’re okay.”

“Are… you okay?” Kaminari asked hesitantly.

Katsuki nodded again, even if his body was still trembling and the occasional tear still ran down his cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kirishima said, his voice sounding far too sincere for Katsuki to handle. “We’re your friends, you can tell us stuff like this. We’re here to support you.”

Katsuki glared at Kirishima. “It was none of your business.”

Kirishima winced as if he’d been expecting that answer.

“But… wait a minute.” Sero said. “If this happened because you got attacked by a villain, then… what does that guy have to do with it?”

Katsuki squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Just drop it, okay? This has nothing to do with you. It’s none of your business.”

That got him looks from all of his friends.

“Bakugou, we’re your friends.” Kirishima said. “When some random asshole hurts you, we’re here to help you. We care about you.”

“Besides, it kinda became our business when we needed to talk you down from a panic attack.” Sero said plainly.

“Yeah. So stop being mister stoic and secretive and emotionally repressed for a little bit, okay?” Mina added. “Just talk to us.”

“I’m not emotionally repressed.” Katsuki murmured petulantly.

“Kacchan, you’re the king of being emotionally repressed.” Kaminari deadpanned. “Come on, man. We- we need to know why we need to beat up that guy if we ever see him again.”

That got Katsuki to snort, chuckling a little at his friend’s idiocy. Katsuki took a deep breath and sighed. His stomach was still twisting painfully, but his heart was at least calming a little being surrounded by his friends. There was still a part of him that wanted to scrub his skin raw again, but it was calming down the longer his friends’ spent hovering over him.

“I… was walking home like I always did. Was hanging out with that bastard and another idiot from middle school. We were… taking a shortcut, deciding what to do for the day. We… went into this alleyway, and then this wall of sludge came up from the sewers. Grabs me. And those two fucking cowards… they turned and ran at the first fucking sign of trouble. Left me to deal with it alone. I was fine, of course, All Might was right around the corner, it was nothing, but… I couldn’t forgive them for just leaving me there. Haven’t talked to them since.”

Katsuki kept his eyes on the ground, able to sense his friends’ godawful pity in their eyes without needing to see it. His friends knew him well enough that that last bit of bravado was fake. He could tell by how hard Kirishima was squeezing his hand.

“That’s so horrible.” Mina said, her voice wavering a little. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“I told you, it was nothing!” Katsuki snapped.

“Oh yeah, it was totally nothing.” Sero muttered, rolling his eyes and glaring at him. “It was so nothing that you were sent into a panic attack just by seeing that asshole again.”

Katsuki matched his glare. Sero didn’t back down.

“So we’re totally actually beating them up if we ever see them again, right?” Kaminari asked, breaking the tension a little.

Katsuki breathed out a soft chuckle. “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”

“We’re not saying you need us to fight your battles.” Sero smirked. “We’re just saying that if we ever see those guys again, they’re just gonna accidentally get punched in the face a couple dozen times. No biggie.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Katsuki scoffed quietly.

“Yeah, but trust me, we want to.” Kaminari said with a soft, idiotic smirk. “No one abandons our Kacchan to die and gets away with it.”

Katuki’s eyes went wide, looking at Kaminari in shock. “What… did you just say?”

“Oh um. When- when we were walking over to you after I kicked Sero’s ass-”

There was a soft interruption of “We fucking tied! That last kill didn’t count!”

A beat.

“After I finished kicking Sero’s ass, I um, kinda heard you say that he- that he left you for dead.” Kaminari said, obviously trying to be light despite the subject matter, trying to play it off as if it was nothing. “So yeah, we’re gonna punch those guys, like, a lot. They fucking suck.”

Katsuki flushed red, unaware that his friends had heard that part of the conversation. Fuck. He opened his mouth to dismiss his own words, but he couldn’t come up with anything that would actually work. Fuck.

Kirishima squeezed his hand again. “It’s okay, Bakugou. You don’t have to say anything.”

Kirishima then let go of him and stood up. “I think we should all go home. I’m kinda tired. What about you guys?”

“No.” Katsuki said. “You were all so excited to get out of the dorms for a little while. I’m fine, let’s go back to playing.”

His legs were still shaking a little, but Katsuki managed to get himself up. His friends hovered over him a little, as if waiting to catch him if he fell. Katsuki held his head up, and looked them all in the eye. His friends’ exchanged a couple of worried glances, but they eventually nodded, letting him not be held back by this as he wanted.

“Yeah, sure, man.” Sero said. “I say Kami owes me a rematch from earlier, we fucking tied!”

Katsuki felt a tiny smile grace his lips, and then Kirishima slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulder. This time, Katsuki let it stay a whole three seconds longer than he usually did.

In french we have an idiomatic : Va-t-en guerre! Ohana goes to war and to get back their Steve! YEAH!

Awesome GIF! WOW! I love the GIF about their badge. But Danny is the most sexy and awesome!

It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling that Espio isn’t quite so above it all. Yes, he is an undoubtedly talented and capable ninja, dedicated to his craft and proud of it…but he’s also still sixteen years old.

And I mean that in the best possible way! I would not have been this zen at sixteen!

Also, head-canon that because he’s basically the team dad/dad friend/promoted to parent, Vector hears a LOT of “Bo-oooss” being called like that whiny “Daa-aaad” noise and can do zippo about it.

I need the movie boys to have the most realistic sibling fights possible I'm on my knees

Chapter 3 (out of now 4 chapters), filling square A5 - Super Soldier Serum of my @tonystarkbingo. Hope you enjoy!

Whumptober day 13 - Adrenaline

My thirteenth fill for @whumptober2019​. A short one this time, but hopefully still enjoyable. It’s also available on Ao3.

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Living with the Avengers was honestly going to kill him one day. His heart was not gonna be able to take the constant adrenaline rush from various causes and just beat straight out of his chest.

Both Natasha and Clint were assassins, and often moved too quietly for Tony to hear them coming, meaning they’d just about given him heart attacks by sneaking up on him. He wanted to think it was accidental, but he wasn’t sure there was a lot about that that they did accidentally, and he hadn’t missed their playful smirks.

Then there was Thor, who had no concept of an indoor voice (or, alternately, pretended not to). Which meant that Tony could be going about his life peacefully, only to be startled into a heart attack by the so-called God of Thunder suddenly and very loudly threatening the toaster with dismemberment for somehow toasting his beloved pop-tarts wrong.

Bruce was peaceful overall, and not much given to excitement. Hulk was more so, but Tony had to admit he didn’t share the others’ hesitance when it came to Big Green. No, Bruce was more likely to kill him with exciting science, the thrill of a new breakthrough enough to make Tony’s heart beat faster every time.

In theory, Steve shouldn’t have been a problem. Now that they’d stopped arguing, conversations were far easier, more amicable and less stressful. It was Howard’s fault, really, the way Tony kept wanting to prove himself, to be good enough in front of Steve somehow, even though he knew the man himself was probably unaware of Tony’s issues.

So yeah, they were likely to end up killing him one day, and he’d already made note with JARVIS that he wanted it on his gravestone that it was all their fault, preferably in a witty matter. ‘I told you I had heart problems’ was currently his first choice.

But as he looked around at where they were all gathered in front of the television, trying to get the most correct answers on the quiz, he had to admit it was more than worth it.

Familial Reactions|G|804 Words

Read on AO3

Fandom: 9-1-1

Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Firehouse 118 Crew, Eddie Diaz & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz

Characters: Eddie Diaz, Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley

Tags: Whumptober 2024, Team as Family, Firehouse 118 Crew as Family (9-1-1 TV), Mentioned Howie "Chimney" Han, Mentioned Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Supportive Bobby Nash, Parental Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley Takes Care of Eddie Diaz, Worried Eddie Diaz, Sad Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash Shows His Love Through Food, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Summary: The team rallies around Eddie in the ways they know how.

Whumptober 2024 Day 13: Team As A Family

Notes: Chronologically, the 5th part of the Kidnapped Chris AU

It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling that Espio isn’t quite so above it all. Yes, he is an undoubtedly talented and capable ninja, dedicated to his craft and proud of it…but he’s also still sixteen years old.

And I mean that in the best possible way! I would not have been this zen at sixteen!

Also, head-canon that because he’s basically the team dad/dad friend/promoted to parent, Vector hears a LOT of “Bo-oooss” being called like that whiny “Daa-aaad” noise and can do zippo about it.

Know what? Same. 😭 That’s why I had to make a sequel!

It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling that Espio isn’t quite so above it all. Yes, he is an undoubtedly talented and capable ninja, dedicated to his craft and proud of it…but he’s also still sixteen years old.

And I mean that in the best possible way! I would not have been this zen at sixteen!

Also, head-canon that because he’s basically the team dad/dad friend/promoted to parent, Vector hears a LOT of “Bo-oooss” being called like that whiny “Daa-aaad” noise and can do zippo about it.

Part 2 of Espio acting his age for once and Vector aging like milk.

More Chaotix family shenanigans!

Dya think Espio ever uses his invisibility to just “nope” on out of embarrassing situations?

Context for this: I swear to god, I’ve seen Espio being shown to sit on Vector’s desk in -some- kind of official capacity, so this was always how I pictured Espio having ‘claimed’ that spot…but I can’t find the OG image/scene for the life of me! If anyone can help me out and make sure I’m not losing my grip on reality, I’d really appreciate it 😂

I’m calling this one “waiting for work.” I still subscribe to the idea of the Classic Designs = Younger everyone, especially Vector! I mean look at ‘im, dude’s a walking time capsule!

This might be a set up for a semi-related thing…? Still mulling it over.

Things I would have liked to seen explored in the metal virus arc: Espio dealing with not wanting to be “lead detective.” Not because he’s incapable, not because he wouldn’t be amazing at it; but because of the finality of the loss that would come with it.

Had this conversation in another post: when Vector said that line, it really had a vibe of a father passing on a position to his eldest son…a son who doesn’t feel ready for it despite being plenty capable.

What I would have loved to see in the comic; Espio grappling with the weight of that and maybe just having a moment where he feels his age. Just a little moment, at least.

I mean, the comics do a great service in letting the younger characters have moments of being young…but sometimes it feels a little disproportionate because, well…Sonic and everyone but Vector and Vanilla aren’t exactly all grown up either. Sometimes it can just come off a bit patronising/infantilising…but that’s a whole different conversation.

Back with the second part of “Things I would have liked to see in the metal virus arc.”

Pretty much the biggest thing: Vector acknowledging how freaking traumatic seeing him get zombified must have been for Espio…

But then, he -is- a great detective…so I figure that he probably already knows damn well what it must be like: the trick is that Espio would probably have to be the one to broach the subject.

And, of course, Espio being Espio…just wouldn’t.

It was actually a lot of fun to play around with -how- to portray Espio here; there’s a fine line one can dance between stoicism and just shutting down on yourself completely, and it was intriguing trying to capture what Espio is clearly feeling despite his best efforts to hide it.

It’s not really all about the money: not entirely.

That’s always the vibe that I’ve gotten from Vector. Yes, he needs that cash to cover their bills, but only so he can keep a roof over their heads and the boys fed. Did you know that in Sonic heroes, one of Vector’s idle lines is “Darn. I forgot to pay the electric bill.” —that pretty much cemented my impression of him as “Dad friend,” especially considering that Espio and Charmy are underage.

But I also like to think that he never wants the boys to see the bills. I like to think he doesn’t want them to be so bogged down worrying about it that they can’t do, or even enjoy, their jobs.

Hoping to explore this one a little further.