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James and Meowth Do A Fluffy Experiment (part two of two)

This story is slightly less fluffy when you remember that they're having the kitten as part of an experiment for a criminal organization that has mistreated their test subjects, but thirteen!me did not write by that logic.

Also, it seems that Jessie kinda forgot the conversation she had with James the previous night. She probably remembered the Iron Fleet, though.

Part one is here.

This fic contains:  Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (warning because some people might be disturbed by it, even though Meowth can consent in this story); unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; bizarre focus on James's virginity (it disturbs me how often this shows up in these warnings); lack of medical knowledge; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth (weepy!James and generic boyfriend!Meowth are back); odd ideas about romance; Dr. Fuji is miraculously alive somehow (and also out-of-character); weird plot inconsistencies; "deflowered" doesn't mean what thirteen!me seems to think it means; boomer humor pregnancy gags; HOLY SHIT I REMEMBERED MONDO EXISTS?

-O-o-O-o-O-

Jessie was watching TV when James and Meowth came in.

“James, how did the test go?” she asked.

James was crying. He didn’t seem to have heard her. He ran into the bedroom, crying.

“James, wait! Please let me talk to you!” Meowth said.

Jessie knocked on the bedroom door. “Can I come in?” she asked.

“Yes,” James said.

Jessie came in. “What happened? Why are you crying?” she asked.

James sniffled for a while, then answered. “The experiment worked and now I’m pregnant,” he said.

“Meowth did that to you?!”

“Yes.”

“Weren’t you a virgin before?”

“Yes, but he had to do it. We would lose our jobs if we didn’t,” James said.

“But didn’t you value your virginity?”

“Yes, sort of. But that doesn’t matter. What am I going to do about the kitten?”

“I think you should just rest now. I’ll go talk with Meowth.”

Jessie went back into the living room. “Meowth! Shame on you!”

“What did I do?”

“You deflowered James!”

“But I had to. And I love him!”

“You do? It’s not just lust?”

“Yeah. Got a problem with that?”

“No. It’s okay, then.”

They heard soft snoring from the bedroom.

“I hope James will let me talk to him when he wakes up,” Meowth said.

-O-o-O-

James woke up about two hours later. He just lay there in bed, thinking about this whole mess.

He was going to have Meowth’s kitten.

Meowth came in. “James….I’m sorry for doing this to you. You probably had other plans to do this with someone else. If you don’t forgive me, I’ll understand,” Meowth said.

“You don’t need to apologize. I love you. I had other plans, but they were plans with you. Actually, they were just dreams that I thought would never happen. So it’s okay. I’m glad I did this with you,” James said.

“Are you sure we don’t just have a crush on each other?”

“No, I’m sure it’s true love.”

Meowth decided to just agree with James on that one. Usually James was right about things like this.

They knew they’d be able to make it through this ordeal.

-O-o-O-

The kitten would be born after nine weeks. James and Meowth got married.

The kitten would be small, so James probably wouldn’t show very much.

Fortunately for James, he didn’t get morning sickness. But he did get mood swings and weird cravings.

Skipping to the fourth week of pregnancy, Jessie and Meowth were staring at James while he was getting a snack.

“What is that?” Meowth asked.

“Beef jerky with peanut butter,” James answered.

“James….Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Meowth asked.

“I’m fine, Meowth.”

Another time, Meowth tried to kiss James on the lips.

“What are you doing?” James asked.

“Kissing you.”

James didn’t look very happy about it. In fact, he looked frustrated. He let out a frustrated sigh and walked away.

“What did I do?” Meowth said.

“Well, you have been trying to make out with him a lot. Maybe you’re crowding him,” Jessie said.

Meowth decided to give James some space for a while. After an hour, he just couldn’t take it. He had to go see James.

He found James in tears, in the bedroom.

“James, why are you crying?” Meowth asked.

“I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I’m just scared.”

Meowth hugged James.

“You don’t have to be scared. It’s okay. I’m here for you, Jimmy,” Meowth said.

-O-o-O-

James was a little over nine weeks pregnant. He was only a little bigger, but he still wore a maternity shirt. He also still wore his Team Rocket uniform boots.

“Don’t your feet get hot in those boots?” Jessie asked.

“Yes, but I don’t want anyone to see my swollen ankles,” James said. He felt ready to give birth to the kitten any minute.

One day, Mondo came over.

“The lab sent me over to check on all of you. It’s about the experiment,” Mondo said. “What exactly is this experiment, again?”

“Well….It’s sort of weird. James and Meowth did it and I just watched, so I think they should explain it,” Jessie said.

“Where is James, anyway? I haven’t seen him for over two months.”

“There’s an explanation for that.”

They turned around and saw James, standing in the doorway.

“He’s wearing a maternity shirt,” Mondo whispered to Jessie.

“I know,” Jessie whispered back.

“That experiment that Meowth and I did was an experiment to see if humans could have babies with Pokémon. And it worked,” James said.

“Congratulations, James!” Mondo said happily.

“Thanks, I guess,” James said.

“Why aren’t you excited?” Mondo asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle it,” James said.

“Of course you can handle it!” Mondo said.

“Yeah, Mondo’s right! You can do anything you set your mind to, James,” Jessie said.

James smiled shyly. “Thanks for the support,” he said quietly.

“You deserve it,” Mondo said.

-O-o-O-

James went into labor the next day. The scientists at the lab helped him give birth.

“It’s a girl,” James said to Meowth.

“What’s her name?” Meowth asked.

“Her number is #0775,” Dr. Fuji said.

James looked Dr. Fuji straight in the eye. “She has to have a name,” he said solidly.

Dr. Fuji was somewhat unnerved. “All right, then. What’s her name?”

“Her name is Willow.”

James got to keep his kitten with Meowth.

-O-o-O-

Epilogue

James and Meowth are living happily together with Jessie. Their daughter, Willow, is very smart. Mondo visits them.

They all quit Team Rocket. They got jobs with decent salaries.

The twerps don’t blast them off anymore.

The trio was meant to be happy after all.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the Story: If you have a baby as an experiment for a criminal organization, they'll totally let you name them and won't immediately whisk them away. They'll even let you keep the kid if you quit!

At least they didn't make James eat the placenta.

Bad Blood: Jessie Is A Crazy Ass Vampire. Yep, That's The Fic (part one of three)

Another story in which I try to write Rocketshipping and fail spectacularly. I seem to have done this a lot.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; violence; sexual abuse; blood mention; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (because of course there is); very loose understanding of medical and psychological issues; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she's Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (blame it on the Strix, grabbin people's dicks, blame it on the au-au-au-au-au-Aufhocker)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

We knew Jessie was violent.

Our conversations seemed to be centered on revenge and fantasies of bathing in our enemies' blood.

We didn't really think about it that much. We thought she was just high on crack or watching too many horror movies.

We were horribly wrong.

(James's point of view)

Jessie really started scaring us. She kept trying to bite me. I tried to hide, but where could I hide in a tent?

Once, I went to bed and woke up with my pants off and Meowth guarding me. As soon as I noticed my lower half was showing, I squealed and pulled my pants back on.

"She tried to have sex with you. But she didn't get any part of your family jewels. You're still a virgin, James," Meowth said.

I was turning bright red. I knew because I felt my face get hot. I'm pretty sure I was as red as Jessie's hair.

Or blood.

I went into the bushes. My whole body was shaking. I threw up.

Meowth came out. "Are you all right?"

"No," I said.

"It's Jessie, isn't it? She tried to bite you and hump you," Meowth said.

I couldn't help gasping at the word "hump."

"I think….Jessie might be a vampire," I said.

"That's a little farfetched," Meowth said.

I believed him so I didn't think about it anymore.

(Meowth's point of view)

James and I were glad we were out in the woods because we could easily run away if Jessie got out of hand.

She did.

One night, after a messed up Pikachu plan, Jessie started cursing out James.

"You stupid bitch! How the fuck could you fuck up such an easy plan? What the fuck was so hard to understand about our cunting plan?" she yelled.

James was in tears as he screamed, "I tried my best! It would've been better without the pitfall!"

Jessie backhanded James across his face. James was knocked over.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle in the bushes. Jessie and James didn't hear it because human ears aren't as strong as Pokémon ears.

I looked over at the bushes.

"Jessie? What are you doing?!" said a familiar voice.

Mondo came out of the bushes.

Jessie didn't answer him. She just picked up a stick and started to beat James with it. Mondo ran over to her and grabbed the stick.

"What could he have possibly done to make you do this? Why are you beating him up?" yelled Mondo.

"He screwed up a plan for catching Pikachu!" yelled Jessie.

"Just because of that?! That's no reason to try to kill him," Mondo said. "Meowth, what exactly happened?"

I told him exactly what had happened. Every single move and quote.

"None of that was even partly James's fault. Why were you beating him up?" Mondo said.

"I know why," I said.

"Why? Is there something you're not telling me?" Mondo asked.

"Jessie won't tell and I didn't want to scare James, but Jessie's a psychopathical vampire," I said.

"But….Vampires aren't real," Mondo said.

"She keeps trying to bite James with her fangs," I said.

Suddenly we heard a scream. Jessie was holding James by his shirt and brushing his hair away from his neck.

"Jessie, don't!"

(Mondo's point of view)

Jessie touched James's family jewels.

That did it.

I tried to get Jessie off of James, but Jessie was too strong.

"Get off of me!" James screamed. He struggled, unsuccessfully, to get out of Jessie's hold.

Jessie bit James.

Meowth threw a rock at her ass.

Jessie got off James. James fell to the ground, unconscious.

Jessie got out her paper fan and—whack!

Meowth should wear a helmet.

I got James and his things. They were all in his backpack, along with his tent. Meowth was packed up, too.

I ran off into the woods, carrying James. Meowth was right behind me. I heard Jessie yelling, "Come back here with my Child of Darkness!"

We were safe from that blood fiend.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Crack is an epidemic in the ranks of Team Rocket as well as in my fic.

Bad Blood: Boys Don't Work Like That (part three of three)

Eleventh-hour blueshipping and angst rears its head (the urge could no longer be suppressed; R.I.P. any hope of decent Rocketshipping in this fic). This isn't really about vampires anymore.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; bizarre occult lore; very loose understanding of psychological and medical issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy or sleeping pills); abuse mention; suicide attempt; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo; wet dreams are not boy periods, twelve!me; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (I'm told this is not uncommon); James is a witch for some reason (and has a doppelganger)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

I stayed in the bathroom for a long time.

I was so stupid. I should have known Meowth told me everything was fine just so I wouldn't get upset. I should have known everything was not fine.

I also should have known I shouldn't have fallen in love with Jessie.

How could I be such an imbecile? I knew Jessie abused me, I knew she was violent, yet I still loved her.

That just showed how stupid I was.

What if Jessie had tried to kill Meowth? Or Mondo? If she did, I would never forgive myself.

"James? Are you all right in there?" Meowth asked.

"I'm fine." I tried to keep my voice from breaking, but it didn't work.

Meowth knew I had been crying and came in.

I looked in the mirror. "I'm such a wreck. No wonder Jessie abuses me," I said.

Meowth started to say something, but Mondo beat him to it.

"Don't say that! You're not a wreck. Even if you were, that's no reason for her to abuse you like that. You're not even why Jessie went psycho. It's because of….well….I don't know. Some people are just like that. She's always had a bad temper," Mondo said.

"So it's not your fault," Meowth said.

I looked in the mirror again. I saw a boy with messy blue-violet hair, swollen areas under his green eyes, and a red flush about his face.

That didn't look like someone who wasn't a wreck.

When Mondo and Meowth went out of the bathroom, I used the toilet. I noticed my underwear was wet, but not with urine. I changed it and went out of the bathroom and pulled Mondo aside.

"Mondo? You know what wet dreams are, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" he said.

"What age are boys supposed to get it?" I asked.

"Boys get their first wet dream when they're about eleven years old. If they don't then, the latest they can get it is fourteen."

"But what if they don't get it then?" I hoped I didn't sound worried.

"Then there might be an issue," Mondo said.

There was an awkward silence until Mondo asked, "When did you get your first wet dream?"

"I noticed my underwear was wet a few minutes ago," I said.

"It only happens when you sleep and dream about girls romantically," Mondo said.

"Then….I haven't gotten it yet," I said.

"You never dreamed about girls like that?"

"No."

"Or woken up and found your underwear wet before now?"

"No."

"How old are you, again?"

"Seventeen."

We stared at each other.

"I think you should go see a doctor," Mondo said.

We did.

-O-o-O-

Mondo and Meowth knew I was a witch, so they took me to a Witch Doctor.

I was trying to figure out how to explain the wet dream to the Witch Doctor. It might be a bit embarrassing, since the Witch Doctor was a woman.

The Witch Doctor walked in. "What brings you here today?" she asked.

I whispered, "It's about my wet dreams. They're coming late. I think my powers might have something to do with it."

"Then I'll have to let my assistant take care of you. He's male. He'll understand," the Witch Doctor said.

The Witch Doctor's assistant came out. He had shoulder-length blue-violet hair, green eyes, pale skin, and very familiar facial features.

"James, are you aware that this guy looks exactly like you?" Mondo asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Please, follow me into the examining room," the assistant said. I followed him in. His voice was the same as mine, too, except he had a different accent.

"What seems to be the problem?" the assistant asked.

"My wet dreams haven't come and I'm seventeen," I said.

"It's because of your undeveloped powers. They'll come soon, now that you've developed them," the assistant said.

When I left the Witch Doctor's office, I was unsure of what to think.

We took Jessie to the mental institution. She tried to bite me and….that abuse where someone touches you where they're not supposed to. I can't even bear to write the proper name.

It was just awful.

-O-o-O-

We visited Jessie the next day. I was the last one to go in. Jessie cursed me out as soon as she saw me.

"You screwed up such a fucking easy plan and you don't think your ass is getting fucked up?!" she yelled.

"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop blaming everything on me. I work as hard as I can to make our plans work, and gain your love, and—"

Gain your love?! Where did that come from?!

"You think I'd love you?! You're an imbecile to think anyone would love a fuck-up cunt like you," Jessie said.

Her words messed me up. I ran out of the room, crying. I ran out of the waiting room. Meowth and Mondo ran after me, but I didn't care.

I made it to our cabin. I ran inside. I locked myself in the bathroom. I could hear Meowth and Mondo talking in the living room.

I knew what to do.

I took out some sleeping pills and took about ten of them. I felt like I'd vomit.

I ran outside. Mondo and Meowth followed me.

I found a tree and climbed it. They saw me and ran to the tree.

"James, what are you doing?!" Meowth screamed. He started to climb the tree.

"I'm jumping," I said.

"Why?! You have a life, you have Mondo and I—"

"Yes, but for how long? I ruin everything. Jessie was right. I can't even do a simple plan right. Why bother living?" I said. It was getting harder for me to think clearly. My legs were shaking.

I jumped.

Mondo ran and caught me. I was startled and began screaming, "Why did you catch me? I was trying to die!"

"Don't scare us like that. Don't ever do that again," Mondo said. He was crying. I was crying. It began to rain. Meowth climbed back down the tree.

Mondo put me down. I fell to my knees and began to throw up.

"Oh, Jimmy, what did you do?" Meowth asked.

"It's the sleeping pills. I took them so it wouldn't hurt when I fell," I said.

I tried to stand up. I wobbled. I fell and Mondo caught me.

Then I blacked out.

(Meowth's point of view)

Mondo carried James back inside. James looked very pale.

Mondo put James on the bed.

"He took about ten sleeping pills. After I put him down, he probably threw up about half of them," Mondo said.

I brushed James's hair out of his face. Then I put a wet rag on his forehead. He began to regain consciousness.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You fainted," I said.

There was a moment of silence, then I asked, "Why did you do that?"

"I told you, I'm worthless. Jessie was right. Besides, who could love a screw-up like me?" James said.

"I could," I said.

James turned to look at me. Then we kissed on the mouth.

Lesson learned: Jessie and James don't fit.

However, me and James, well, that's a different story.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Wet dreams are not boy periods. I can't believe that twelve!me needed to be told that.