The Wolf Chuffs - Tumblr Posts

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Free the Caged Laughter, a truly touching artwork by the one and only Rike; may her Majesty bless us with her heaven-sent scriptures. Free the Caged is a series of woefully gut-wrenching recollections of life after the mafia of our favourite casts from the amazing legend that is Caged. Within this series, you will find breathtaking tales such as Puggle Wuggle ft. Kookie the Pug, Mad Hatter Vegas, A Tale of Carma ft. The McD Delivery Guy and The Secret to Long Life: Apple, each just as capable of reducing you into a gasping, sobbing mess as the last. So come, join me as we venture once more into the intricate realm of the Caged fic verse, and lose ourselves to the call of the wind bone rattling wails once more!”

TCW;DR: I just got thinking bored and decided to come up with a prose about crack!alternate ending drabbles that have yet to exist, but would probably make me wheeze my insides out with laughter if they did. (Rike you beautiful human please feel free to attempt to prove me right :))

……@mrsmon too much? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I refuse to finish reading caged yet. I don't ever want it to end (but secretly I really wanna find out what happens next). The struggle 😭😭😭

What chapter are you on? I’ll just spoil you, Namjoon and OC adopt three pugs and name them Kanye, Drake, and Marshall, Hoseok and Jimin elope to Vegas and win 200,000 dollars and spend it all on hats, Taehyung opens a car dealership called “Taeyota”, Jin buys Apple and creates cell phones with long battery lives that don’t just turn themselves off in the cold (seriously tho wtf), Jungkook buys a pug costume and scares Namjoon almost to death when they meet at the open fridge one night, and Yoongi moves into a tree house to “find himself” before deciding he misses McDonald’s delivery too much and moving into Taehyung’s villa. He then also opens a car dealership called “Yoondai”.

There now you can go ahead and read it

the boys were already so satisfied with the minor success of inu that yoongi became anxious and was scared that they had hit their peak with it and were going to fade away like a one-hit wonder. when taehyung tried to comfort him by saying that it was okay because all they needed to do was release another awesome title track, yoongi asked “what if it isn’t good enough?”… no wonder he and namjoon cried together when wings was first released…if you told inu era bts, who was just proud of the fact that they managed to sell out a 5000 seat venue, that they would sell out their whole entire wings tour, win two daesangs, win nearly every music show that they were nominated on, get invited to the bbma and be the first kpop act to win an award at the event, have one of the best selling korean albums of 2017, be the one artist to earn bighit enough money to not only build a new practice room but also move office buildings-all in two years- do you think that they would believe it?

AAA

Today......today was fun. It means so much more to me than anything any of the others would ever understand, and so much more than I am able to explain to them. I would do it all in a heartbeat again. Always, forever. I want to remember tonight forever.

Or maybe he just sweats a lot and feels it’s more comfortable to keep changing shirts......and changing the fashion while he was at it. XD

jimin: if i change my outfit 4 times in a day, maybe no one will notice

everyone: we noticed

This is all so true on so many levels I died

(all) BTS Ships...basically

[YoonMin]  smol and smoller (find out which one in the next episode of cake)

[YoonJin] Roommate privileges

[YoonKook/ SugaKookie] “maybe lamb skewers will be our always”

[YoonSeok/ SOPE(me)] hobi: *breathes* suga: omG WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHHAHA

[NamGi/ SugaMonster] Bro goals, friendship goals, relationship goals, just…goals…in general

[TaeGi] suga: *breathes* v: omg so cool

[JiKook] “i was born in busan first” “stop copying me omf–”

[VMin]  “Bro…i luv u” “im not gay” “…we’re dating”

[JinMin] jin: *breathes* jm: hHHAHJDkhahhwiakHAHAHA

[MinJoon] jm: *breathes* nj: lOOk @ THIS ADORABLENESS!!! LOOK-

[JiHope] jm: *breathes* hobi: Must Protec™

[JinKook] actual children

[NamJin] Cooking For Dummies 101

[TaeJin] someone: jin– V: hyung’s graduation should have been bigger and better

[JinHope/ 2Seok] the cooking dance

[NamSeok] most underrated bro pair to exist like don’t get me stARTED–

[VHope] *war flashbacks to rookie king ep 4 at the 14:16 mark*

[JungHope] hobi: *breathes* jk: ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!! PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NamKook/ KookieMonster] “i joined bighit because of you” (brb crying)

[VMon] 4 O'CLOCK AND RM’S NEVERENDING BELIEF IN V

[TaeKook/ VKook] “bro, will you be the McCree to my Hanzo?” “*sheds a tear* bro…” (kudos to you if you get that reference)

and the ultimate OTP… 

[Bangtan x Army] bangtan: take care of yourself army: awww but you take care of yourself bangtan: no YOU take care of yourself!!! army: NO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF bangtan: taKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! army: FUCKING TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIGHT US ON THIS ONE–

the most important difference

I never believed it was possible to love someone like that, especially not someone you’ve only met through a screen. And then I met Yoongi.

does anyone have that bias when they see a picture or video of them they  literally feel like their heart is going to burst out of their chest?? like a person who they would do anything for? someone who means the world to them?? if they do the simplest thing you swoon? you love them so much that you legitimately cannot put it into words?? just me???

Thanks for this list love

In light of LR coming back next month, I wanted to make a masterpost for new Starlights that don’t know or want to know more about the subunit, and for older ones to look back on. Feel free to add anything I may have missed out. ♡

Keep reading

😂😂😂 I mean, I’m super proud of this fandom, but still. Maybe we can try to......not scare off potential new family members? 😂😅

victims of the ARMY

writing-prompt-s:

Valhalla does not discriminate against the kind of fight you lost. Did you lose the battle with cancer? Maybe you died in a fist fight. Even facing addiction. After taking a deep drink from his flagon, Odin slams his cup down and asks for the glorious tale of your demise!

Oh my god, this is beautiful.

A small child enters Valhalla. The battle they lost was “hiding from an alcoholic father.” Odin sees the flinch when he slams the cup and refrains from doing it again. He hears the child’s pain; no glorious battle this, but one of fear and wretched survival.

He invites the child to sit with him, offers the choicest mead and instructs his men to bring a sword and shield, a bow and arrow, of the very best materials and appropriate size. “Here,” he says, “you will find no man who dares to harm you. But so you will know your own strength, and be happy all your days in Valhalla, I will teach you to use these weapons.”

The sad day comes when another child enters the hall. Odin does not slam his cup; he simply beams with pride as the first child approaches the newcomer, and holds out her bow and quiver, and says “nobody here will hurt you. Everyone will be so proud you did your best, and I’ll teach you to use these, so you always know how strong you are.”

————

A young man enters the hall. He hesitates when Odin asks his story, but at long last, it ekes out: skinheads after the Pride parade. His partner got into a building and called for help. The police took a little longer than perhaps they really needed to, and two of those selfsame skinheads are in the hospital now with broken bones that need setting, but six against one is no fair match. The fear in his face is obvious: here, among men large enough to break him in two, will he face an eternity of torment for the man he left behind?

Odin rumbles with anger. Curses the low worms who brought this man to his table, and regales him with tales of Loki so to show him his own welcome. “A day will come, my friend, when you seek to be reunited, and so you shall,” Odin tells him. “To request the aid of your comrades in battle is no shameful thing.”

———-

A woman in pink sits near the head of the table. She’s very nearly skin and bones, and has no hair. This will not last; health returns in Valhalla, and joy, and light, and merrymaking. But now her soul remembers the battle of her life, and it must heal.

Odin asks.

And asks again.

And the words pour out like poisoned water, things she couldn’t tell her husband or children. The pain of chemotherapy. The agony of a mastectomy, the pain still deeper of “we found a tumor in your lymph nodes. I’m so sorry.” And at last, the tortured question: what is left of her?

Odin raises his flagon high. “What is left of you, fair warrior queen, is a spirit bright as fire; a will as strong as any forged iron; a life as great as any sea. Your battle was hard-fought, and lost in the glory only such furor can bring, and now the pain and fight are behind you.“

In the months to come, she becomes a scop of the hall–no demotion, but simple choice. She tells the stories of the great healers, Agnes and Tanya, who fought alongside her and thousands of others, who turn from no battle in the belief that one day, one day, the war may be won; the warriors Jessie and Mabel and Jeri and Monique, still battling on; the queens and soldiers and great women of yore.

The day comes when she calls a familiar name, and another small, scarred woman, eyes sunken and dark, limbs frail, curly black hair shaved close to her head, looks up and sees her across the hall. Odin descends from his throne, a tall and foaming goblet in his hands, and stuns the hall entire into silence as he kneels before the newcomer and holds up the goblet between her small dark hands and bids her to drink.

“All-Father!” the feasting multitudes cry. “What brings great Odin, Spear-Shaker, Ancient One, Wand-Bearer, Teacher of Gods, to his knees for this lone waif?”

He waves them off with a hand.

“This woman, LaTeesha, Destroyer of Cancer, from whom the great tumors fly in fear, has fought that greatest battle,” he says, his voice rolling across the hall. “She has fought not another body, but her own; traded blows not with other limbs but with her own flesh; has allowed herself to be pierced with needles and scored with knives, taken poison into her very veins to defeat this enemy, and at long last it is time for her to put her weapons down. Do you think for a moment this fight is less glorious for being in silence, her deeds the less for having been aided by others who provided her weapons? She has a place in this great hall; indeed, the highest place.”

And the children perform feats of archery for the entertainment of all, and the women sing as the young man who still awaits his beloved plays a lute–which, after all, is not so different from the guitar he once used to break a man’s face in that great final fight.

Valhalla is a place of joy, of glory, of great feasting and merrymaking.

And it is a place for the soul and mind to heal.

I’ve said it a billion times and I will say it a billion times more and then some: I really don’t think any other book series can make me fall in love as much as Skulduggery Pleasant can. 

Huge thank you to the skeleton committee and others on twitter, and to Fin, especially, for the beautiful character art.

I’m happy to say that I’ve ruined a lot of lives by introducing people to this series. They get hooked, and they get hooked fast. Each of them thanks me profusely, whilst punching me in the face and crying. I’ve never met a single person who hasn’t loved this series with every inch of their being.

And if you’re still unsure, or if you just want to get a taste of the humour in the series, then I’ve gathered just some non-spoilery quotes below the cut. (From mostly the first few books, where things weren’t quite as painful and you didn’t cry at the barest mention of a character’s name.)

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me: i’m so motivated. i’m gonna do this. i will achieve everything

me, a second later: you know my bed is actually just…. better

The slipperiest slope of them all

Is the slope of “knowing you’re going down a slippery slope but can’t bring yourself to care”.

It's refreshing

To be staying up not because of depression, but because you can't stop thinking about that one guy and smile like a teenager with a crush again.

This is strangely uplifting for someone who has only just started out rowing and is, at the same time, a little self-conscious about her weight and......generally unfit body.

My second week on the crew team, our coach pulled the women’s team around after practice. Since we’d made it this far, he figured we’d stick the season out and it was time to lay down some ground rules, especially since most of our team are true novices. I’ve found his rules to be valuable, so I thought I’d share them.

1) Eat. You are now an athlete. You will need the calories, especially as you build more muscle mass. Chances are you will need to eat more. You can carry granola bars with you, eat 4 medium meals a day, drink protein shakes, do what works for you. Cutting calories while doing two workouts a day is not safe. If you’re a vegetarian or have a dietary restriction, ask questions and plan what you eat so you don’t end up nutrient deficient. 

2) You are not to step on a scale. Your body is going to change as you adapt to the sport. Muscle weights more than fat. Your weight doesn’t matter. What matters is that, because you are doing the work, you are getting stronger. (Our team doesn’t separate by weight class).

3) If anyone gives you shit about how you look or eat, crush them. You’re going to have the muscle to do it in no time. You’re all god damn Wonder Women and don’t you forget it.

He then walked over to the huddle of novice men and gave them the same lecture. They are also god damn Wonder Women.

I have achieved godhood. Now what.

Happy Birthday, Love

How are you doing? You've come so far, and are going further still. I'm so unbelievably proud of you and the boys.

I'm doing fine, for the most part. There are days now, when I can believe with every fibre of my being that I'm going to be alright. That I can achieve so many things in life. That I can make you proud.

I did a lot of growing up when I drifted away, briefly. I still have far to go, but I think I can stand firmer on my own feet now. And you can bet I'll be trying my damnedest to run as hard as you do. You try so hard in life. As an ARMY, I will do my very best to carry on that message and image of yours. To live well, love myself, and laugh at the little things in life.

Today's your day. Be happy, please, and go have fun with the boys. Even if everyone's busy, even if everyone's tired, go spend time with them and just indulge in the moment, for a bit. ARMYs around the world will be thinking of you, as you are thinking of us, and we will celebrate this day with you in our hearts.

Don't forget your family too, okay? I have no doubt you won't. Give them a call, talk to them, thank them. Be happy.

And in this new year, this new cycle, let's run together again, yeah? You won't know this, but I'll be by your side as you are by mine. ARMYs will be by Bangtan as Bangtan is always by ARMYs.

Take care, love. Eat good food, exercise, stay hydrated, get sleep. Looking forward to seeing more of you. And I'll be doing my best, even if you can't see it, so that I may grow in step with you.

I only just got round to rewatching Good Omens again (life gets in the way) and finally figured out why that last garden scene just before they dined at the Ritz got me feeling so excited. It! Is! Tavistock! Square!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.

They'll never know the pain of waking at 6am on your birthday and cycling/walking to school in a haze (more on the pollution kind, less on the I-wish-I-was-still-asleep kind) only to be met with locked gates.

Neither do I. Totally don't know that feeling. Definitely wasn't me.