This Is Perfection - Tumblr Posts
Sometimes I really don’t feel like existing like not in a suicidal way but I just wish there was a way of pausing life so that I could sleep for a few weeks and figure some stuff out and then not have to feel guilty for missing loads of stuff because really no time had passed at all
Sim Lookbook - Cassandra Goth
General: Hair 1 / Hair 2 / Hair 3 / Hair 4 / Hair 5 / Brows / Glasses Everyday: Top / Undershirt / Skirt (Delilah) / Backpack / Socks / Shoes / Necklace (Witch) Formal: Dress (Constance) / Tights / Shoes (Donatella Pumps) Athletic: Top / Shorts / Socks / Shoes Sleep: Top / Pants / Slippers Party: Dress / Shoes (Donatella Pumps) / Necklace Swimwear: Swimsuit / Hat / Shoes Hot Weather: Top / Skirt / Socks / Bag / Scrunchie Cold Weather: Top / Skirt / Backpack
Thank you! @miikocc @northernsiberiawinds @simtone @gorillax3-cc @solistair @aharris00britney @madlensims @eunosims @pralinesims @sentate @magic-bot @jellymoo @puresims @candysims4 @tunayegit @sforzcc @simandy @dissiasims @serenity-cc @b0t0xbrat @trillyke @liliili-sims4 @fukkiemon @simschino @ceeproductions @crypticsim
Turn your volume down a little before you watch this lol
anyways uh. Freedom ending shitpost
Help I don’t know what compelled me to make this at 2 in the morning (hence the iffy quality) but there we are
adorable. Perfect. Purfect. Wonderful. That´s the serotonin, that my brain needs. Absorb the serotonin you one-celled thing.
Why be sad when you can just look at Schlatt with cats?
f1 driver ghost x child model -> teen model -> adult model soap (for context)
cw: implied/referenced eating disorders + body image issues
john isn’t sure when food went from tasteful flavors and sitting at the table with family and friends to a calorie count. All he knows is, he’s been obsessed with that number since he had to start dieting for a summer shoot.
back before john was john, back when him and his sister were still kenna grace and katherine gia mactavish, back when he was 12 in bikinis and unaware of the way older men looked at him. back when he didn’t understand why his brothers got fish and chips and a soda and him and his sister had to have salads and water.
he didn’t know when it started, but it started and it hadn’t stopped. for him, at least.
johns transition was… public. his career would’ve tanked if him and his sister weren’t a package deal. it would’ve tanked if he still wasn’t skinny. it would’ve tanked if he got his double mastectomy, it would’ve tanked if john wasn’t adored by his loyal following, it would have tanked if this or that or whatever.
and then john met simon riley. or, he met ghost, first.
they’d met at some party they were at. too many people were hitting on john, and he was too worried about the potential calorie count in the drinks might have. He’d ran into a little dark corner outside and leaned against the wall.
hed been leaning against the wall gathering his thoughts and working up the courage to go back inside to get propositioned for sex another hundred times from the slimier individuals he was forced to rub shoulders with when the sound of a lighter trying to light scared the absolute shit out of him.
john had realized then that he wasn’t alone and had relaxed when the man mumbled, “not gonna bite.” and then had been incredibly offended for some reason when he’d followed up with, “not like there’s anything to bite.”
john wraps himself up in his arms, suddenly the air is cold when the breeze finds its way into the alleyway. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
the man shrugs. “you’re tiny.”
john scowls. “i’m 152 centimeters,” he bites defensively. with a quick scan he can tell the man is fucking huge, even slumped up against the wall.
“oh, ‘scuse me, then.” the man shakes the box of cigarettes at john. “you’re that model, ain’t you? McTavish?”
“MacTavish,” john corrects reflexively.
he reaches for the cigarettes, but the man takes them back at the last second. “not gonna ask my name?”
“whats your name?”
“ghost.”
they’d smoked two cigarettes together and when john had started to shiver from the wind, he’d gotten a red bull windbreaker that he never remembered to give back.
and somewhere between a tentative dm apologizing for starting rumors and for stealing the windbreaker, and ghost replying ‘it’s funny when they talk, wear it more lol’ they’d become… friends.
when john wasn’t working, he was ghost’s plus one to parties that he could attend, and when john was working, ghosts sporadic texts kept him occupied.
in the off season they went from kind of friends to ghost spending the days he wasn’t training lazing around john’s apartment. and in that timeframe they went from ghost and john to simon and johnny.
“jesus christ, you are tiny,” simon had said the first time he’d seen john in person since the racing season had paused. “i always forget how little you are.”
“you’re just built like a fucking brick house. i have no idea how you fit in that damn car.” john does feel a flare of pride at how simon always comments on it, always mentions how small he thinks john is. “but thank you.”
simon dumps his hoodie, hat, sunglasses, and shoes at the front of the door. “dunno how many times i need to tell you it’s not a compliment, love” john mocks him under his breath. simon glares at him. “your sister’s got more meat on ‘er bones than you do. eat some steak and chips for the love of god.” simon bangs about in his kitchen and makes a baffled noise when he opens the fridge. “jesus, i forgot how psycho you are.”
john is particularly proud of his fridge organization. “that’s why i’m the prettier sister.” Simon steals a cup and fills it with water and starts fucking about on his phone. “and fuck you im not psycho. it’s organized.”
simon gives him a flat look. “i’m ordering nandos. what do you want?”
“i cant have—“
“johnny, you look like a fucking meth addict, please let me order you nandos.” Simon flips the phone over and wiggles it. “i’ll buy. you don’t even have to finish it. and if it fucks up your weight i’ll help you lose it.”
john frowns. “i don’t want nandos.” johnny hasn’t eaten things that haven’t been cooked by his own two hands or his mother since he was ten.
simon sighs a little. “i’m getting you a rainbow bowl.”
john will admit that the only reason he ever goes over his calorie limit is because of simon.
it’s not like john wants to, it’s more that simon is always so focused on his phone when he’s eating, and john feels a little guilty that simon spent money on food for him, and simon always says john needs more meat on his bones so he always ends up eating at least a few bites before he puts it away in a tupperware to pretend he'll finish it.
he never does, and simon never pushes him.
john realizes him and simon are more than friends when he starts hanging out at simon’s house. he hadn’t realized how private simon was until he realized he didn’t know the names of simon’s family members. but he meets them, and simons brother, tommy, had scared him at first when he said he was paralyzed because simon broke his back, and tommy’s wife, beth, had scolded tommy.
and that’s also when john realized he knew nothing about the riley legacy, and maybe he should do some research into simon’s career.
john had nearly burst when he saw simon interacting with his ten year old nephew.
and simon had chased off his brother and his wife for some reason, half dragged john upstairs and into his absurdly large room. “fuck it’s hot. should get in the pool.”
“you have a pool?”
simon just grunts in reply, digging through a cabinet and pulling out a granola bar and practically scarfing it down before getting a new one and eating it at a normal speed.
john pouts because if he knew he would’ve brought a swimsuit. he could’ve done some photos for a sponsor, too. “can we go swimming?” john fucking loves the water. he always feels so weightless and free. he remembers being twelve and wishing to be a mermaid. he always felt so light in the water. “or, i guess i can’t. cant exactly skinny dip with a kid runnin’ around.”
simon shrugs. “could wear one of my shirts if you wanna swim that bad. we could get in the hot tub when it gets dark and cold.”
“you have hot tub?!”
john has the time in his life floating and swimming wall to wall. Simon gave him a random graphic tee that he didn’t care for much. John didn’t realize how tall simon really was until he realized the shirt covered his ass. john wishes he was taller, sometimes.
Simon spends most of the time sitting on the steps and listening to john’s chatter. until john starts splashing him with water.
the sun is setting, and john is trying to swim away from simon but simon is faster and has longer arms. john gets scooped up, and john screams as he’s lifted out of the water. simon throws him over his shoulder, and john screams on reflex as he does. “simon! simon!”
“nah, nah,” simon’s shaking with silent laughter. he swims to the steps, and john realizes that he’s going to be tossed into the water in a few seconds, and starts to squirm. “you started this, love, i’m finishing it.”
john knows ‘love’ is just part of simon’s british charm, but he can’t help the way he bites his lip with a cheesy grin and the heat that fills his cheeks and ears. “no, please!”
simon says a quick, “hold your breath,” and john sucks in a breath before suddenly he’s engulfed in the cold water again and he has to swim back up to the top from the deep end. he’s treading water, panting through the laughs that bubble up out of him, and screams again when simon jumps in and splashes him with water. simon pops up seconds later, and when he sees john struggling to keep his shoulders above the water he pulls him close and slowly swims over to slightly more shallow water.
john’s legs wrap around his hips on reflex. they’re both laughing, and suddenly john realizes how beautiful simon is. the golden light from the sunset reflects of the water on his skin, the blue of his eyes. it makes his hair look more golden than it usually does, catching on the red undertones of that gorgeous dirty blonde curls.
john sees simon’s adam’s apple bob when he swallows, and john hears it when simon’s throat clicks. simon’s thumbs are swiping along john’s thighs and the grip he has is so firm and suddenly john realizes he has a massive crush on what is his first real best friend. “you okay?” simon hikes john up a little further.
the wind makes him a little cold, and he’s honestly tired from all the swimming and fucking around with simon. “yeah,” john whispers, “a little cold.”
simon’s tongue swipes across his bottom lip and catches a drop of water. john follows it on reflex, eyes drawn to the way simon slightly shakes his head to get his hair out of his eyes. john reaches back and slides his fingers through his mohawk. he thinks he’s probably going to have to do some hair care tomorrow night with the chlorine he tastes when he copies simon and licks his own lips.
“we could get in the hot tub,” simon offers quietly. “or go inside. you should eat.”
“i’m not hungry,” john says on reflex. simon rolls his eyes a little. “the hot tub sounds nice.”
simon nods and john rests his hands on simon’s chest as simon carefully maneuvers him around. simon doesn’t even breathe deeper when he lifts john onto the tile. he does grunt a little when he lifts himself out of the water, spinning and sitting himself down next to john. he runs his fingers through his hair and john has to look at the almost fully set sun to not blatantly stare at simon.
he briefly wonders if simon finds him beautiful.
“c’mon, johnny.”
they don’t speak as they walk up the deck and they don’t speak even as simon grabs his hand to lead him to the decent size hot tub. simon holds his hand even as he rolls back the cover, walks over to god knows what and starts messing with something. “it’ll take a sec to heat up. bubbles?“
“yeah,” john grabs simon’s hand with both of his, then, just to see if simon would let go. he doesn’t. simon only lets his hand go once he helps johnny into the hot tub.
“i’m gonna go get you some fruit. burnt a lot of calories today, johnny.” simon smiles gently at him. “i’ll check if joey’s in bed. if he’s not i’ll ask tommy to keep him inside if you wanna…” simon jerks his chin at john in what he assumes is the motion simon chooses to use for john taking off the oversized shirt. “dunno if it’s comfortable or not. whatever you want.”
john’s heart is beating out of his chest as the hot tub heats up slowly, and the bubbles are low and gentle. John’s never been insecure about his body, not really. sometimes he hates how soft his chest is or how wide his hips are. but he was blessed with a relatively small chest, and the muscle he had built had made it so wearing a sports bra or a tighter bralette made it seem like he was flat chested.
but john often went with comfort, and comfort meant the soft mostly cotton a little bit of lace bralette. john decided that it couldn’t get any more messed up from the water and he could always buy a new one. and simon’s shirt is sticking to his skin in a way he does not enjoy.
john decides that if simon has an issue with the body he works hard for, then it’s no skin off his back.
the shirt slaps wetly on the deck, and john settles into the glory that is the hot tub. john relaxes against the bubbles. he nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears the water splash. "sorry.” Simon sets the plate of fruit on the deck and sits himself next to john with a little groan. “tha’s fuckin’ nice.”
john’s heart skips a beat when simon stretches his arms over his head and one of his arms falls behind john on the edge of the hot tub. simon pulls out a fuckin’ caprisun of all things and wiggles it at john. “i should invest in one of these.”
“you should.” john takes the caprisun, as a treat for swimming so much, whatever he’s going over now he definitely worked off swimming. john watches simon close his eyes and lean his head back. john remembers the fruit suddenly, and spins in his seat so he can lean on his elbows and snack. he also holds onto simon’s arm for balance. halfway through his plate of goodies, simon says, “alexa, play S and J.”
“that’s not my deadname,” john comments idly.
“i’m not telling you, dick face,” simon bites, “i’m telling the robot to play the damn spotify playlist i made. ‘s got shit we both like in it.” Simon makes an annoyed sound. “Alexa,” he says pointedly, “play S and J on Spotify.”
alexa has a response that john doesn’t hear correctly. simon sinks deeper into the tub, sighing in contentment as music quietly starts to play. john brushes fingers through his hair and focuses on simon’s arm. the man has got a pretty sleeve, a bit emo if john had to give it a label.
john absentmindedly traces the black lines with the edge of his nail, and laughs under his breath when simon’s arm erupts in goosebumps. when he turns to make fun of simon to his face, simon is already looking at him. john feels his face heat again suddenly, and he blushes deeper when he looks at simon’s mouth. “hi?” he blurts stupidly.
“hi,” simon says it just loud enough that the sound of the bubbles doesn’t obscure it. simon is looking at him like he means something. john feels a little embarrassed that he secretly hopes simon thinks he’s pretty.
a lot of people think he’s pretty, it’s his job to be pretty. it’s his job to be pretty, and handsome, and sexy, and attractive. it’s his job to look good on magazine covers and in commercials and on instagram.
his eyes dart away when he worries that simon thinks he’s pretty in the same way other people do. the same way all those men looked at him when he was twelve in a bikini. john feels embarrassed by the amount of skin he has on display, suddenly.
“hey,” simon’s arm that’s out of the water, the same one john was tracing tattoos on just seconds prior, gently grabs his jaw and gently taps his cheek with his thumb, “what’s wrong?”
“Um,” John can’t help the way he crosses his arms over his ribs, curling lower to cover what must be fat gathering on his waistline, “nothing. it’s stupid.”
“we can go inside,” simon offers softly, “i can get you some of my clothes if you want.”
john shakes his head. “no, it’s not— it’s—“ john sighs. “sometimes i think that people only see me for… i mean the shoots i do sometimes,” he whispers, “my job is looking objectively pretty and i always wonder if— if— if people see me like some fucked up barbie doll that’s made to pose and snap pictures of and look pretty?” simon’s hand slides down his jaw to his neck, and to his arm and he gently traces shapes on his bicep in a soothing manner. “it’s stupid,” john whispers.
“if it makes you feel any better, i honestly only knew you were a model because word of mouth. i never saw your pictures ‘till after we became friends. i didn’t see you like that. i don’t see you like that.” Simon squeezes his bicep softly. “being pretty or handsome or sexy or whatever adjective they use for you doesn’t make you an object. just means they have eyes.”
john finally looks at simon then. his eyebrows are drawn together and his mouth is tilted down in a frown. john uncrosses his arms. “do you think i’m pretty?” john doesn’t mean to ask, he doesn’t mean to be an attention seeker, he doesn’t want to come off as vain—
“I think you’re beautiful,” simon says genuinely. and john can’t remember the last time somebody called john beautiful and wasn’t talking about him. he doesn’t remember the last time somebody called his person beautiful, just the general concept of his body and the clothes he was wearing. and even then his brand tilted more to sexy and hot and— “i’ve always thought that,” simon adds, softer, gentler.
john is sure he’s the one that kisses simon first. first he’s leaning over and kissing simon, and he jerks away and they stare at each other with wide eyes for a few seconds before simon is grabbing his jaw and guiding their mouths back together and they’re kissing. simon’s hand is cold from being wet and not in the hot tub, and when his other hand joins it’s warm against john’s other cheek.
john carefully sets his hands on simon’s chest, pushing closer, closer, closer, as simon kisses him like he’s precious. like he’s something to be kissed gently. like he’s worth more than his body or the clothes he wears or the perfume on his skin.
simon tastes like the caprisun he was sipping on earlier, and john is sure he tastes like the fruit he was eating. john only pulls back when his lungs burn for oxygen. him and simon just stare at each other as they catch their breath. john’s heart is pounding. “i like you,” he says quietly.
Simon gives him a sort of bewildered look. “yeah, i got that from the whole…” simon lets one hand drop from john’s jaw to gestures wildly at their faces, “face sucking we just did.”
john can’t help the giggle that bubbles out of him, and simon is chucking too. John squeals when simon grabs him by the hips and sits him on his lap. john wraps his arms around simon’s neck, playing with the drying hair at the nape of his neck. “feel like i’m in primary,” simon mumbles. john sees the blush rising on simon’s cheeks and has to bite his lip to stop another laugh from coming out of him.
“i was homeschooled,” john says quietly. he looks away a little and feels nerves spike up in his belly as he forces out, “but… you kissed me back.”
“i did.”
“you like me?”
“still feel like i’m in primary,” simon comments. “yes, johnny mactavish, i like you.”
a comfortable silence settles, the music comforting background noise as they sit there in the aftermath of what could be the best or worst thing ever. john cups the back of simon’s neck and kisses him gently, once again, for good measure. this time their chests press together and he can feel simon’s heart racing to match john’s own erratic heartbeat. and this kiss is shorter, but it’s just as satisfying. “you could be my boyfriend,” john whispers against simon’s mouth when he pulls back.
“gonna let me take you out to dinner, johnny?”
“maybe,” john whispers.
suddenly it doesn’t matter what other people view his body as, because simon is dragging his hands along john’s thighs with a soft smile and looking at him with his mouth a few shades pinker from kissing and affection in his eyes.
and, as the months pass, somewhere between simon taking him out to fancy restaurants with no information on their menus, to simon commenting how gorgeous he is when he doesn’t starve himself, john forgets to count the calories.
and simon still plucks the calorie label off of every snack he gives john, or blacks it out with that sharpie he carrie’s with him. when john orders takeout on his own for the first time ever, and simon kisses him and tells him the way he’s healthy is gorgeous.
tagging @eiraeths because i literally yapped about this for an hour a while ago. also sorry that this is so long. i did not mean for it to be that long. like christ on a bike this is a novel. i hope somebody that isn’t me enjoys this.
@coloradoavalanche crimes committed at the stanley cup parade
assault
theft
fraud
dui
breaking and entering
solicitation
armed robbery
shoplifting
aggravated assault on a police officer
and more
The biggest struggle is deciding whether you're singing Till's or Richard's parts in Deutschland 😩
Hi 🎶
Well, that depends if you want to pour your heart into majestically performing the epic lyrics or if you want to live out your 'dramatic background singer' fantasy here 🎙️
Either way, somewhat fitting to this ask I found an a capella version of 'Deutschland' in which you can appreciate the voices of Richard and Till in complete isolation - it's interesting to hear their voices in such a 'pure' way.
Credits/found here: Voiden on YouTube (posted here as a video/music track to grant easier access.)
For the music geeks among you (like myself), here you can find a video with all 11 promo tracks of 'Deutschland', which show the different layers of the song - unmastered versions, instrumental versions, backing tracks and the like.
💙Married life for new dads(tiel) can be exhausting and oh so rewarding 💚
You are my always. And I just want the chance to be yours.
* insert cool breakcore music *
Senshi and Uncle Iroh would be such good friends guys can you imagine
I LOVE THIS.
back to blossutch ugh thank you my love from ig ✨
butch has been gettin attention today ayyy
"Your not dealing with the average chef anymore" - Vegeta probably