Venat - Tumblr Posts
WoL: Good morning. Emet-Selch: Good morning. Hermes: Good morning. Venat: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Hythlodaeus: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
*Look me in the eye and tell me Hyth wouldn't do this!
FFXIV I Thou Must Live, Die, and Know
“Lands that streched on forever. Skies one could drown in. The heartbeat of nature, silent yet strong. And amidst it all people. Beacons of light and life. Laughter that warmed my heart like naught else before. They are my meaning and my purpose. My love.
In spite of… or perhaps because of this, I choose to believe.
In mankind’s potential. In his ability to find a way forward.”
tomorrow and tomorrow
Oh, ancients, my beloveds
2021 Endwalker fan arts
elpis? pandaemonium? no problems here!
FFXIV Write 2023 - Day 8 - Shed
Endwalker MSQ spoilers, CW for references to self-harm, anxiety, and a panic attack.
Aphroditos curled into himself, inhaling and exhaling on shaky counts of four as he tried desperately to claw his racing thoughts back in line without waking his traveling companion. The sheer enormity of the undertaking he'd chosen, the burden of travelling at Azem's side and leaving behind all he knew, the terror of the unknown expanses unfolding before him struck him all at once, and it was all he could do to resist the urge to flee.
He had to run, but where to? Amaurot wouldn't soothe him, Elpis would only make his condition worse. Running was functionally useless as the last thing he needed was to get lost in the untamed world outside the settlements. Stars, it wasn't even something physical that he wanted to flee, but something internal.
Breathe, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. Slow and steady.
This thought, he ran through his mind like a mantra in an attempt to silence the much louder voice that screamed Out out get OUT run flee GO don't belong here don't belong ANYWHERE out out out OUT you have to get out somehow GET OUT-
"Aphroditos?"
Azem- Venat, she'd told him he didn't know how many times to call her Venat- slowly sat up from her bedroll, looking at him through bleary yet concerned eyes.
Shit. "It's nothing, I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you-"
Venat shook her head and laid a hand gently on his shoulder. "You and I both know that it's not nothing and that you're not fine. What are you feeling, Aphroditos?"
It took several long minutes for him to find his voice. The thought sounded asinine as soon as it left his lips, but he found himself saying, "I feel constricted. Like I want to tear my own skin off. Been digging my fingers into my robes to fight the urge."
An urge he'd indulged more than once. It had been a common coping mechanism after a trying day in Elpis. A foolish one from the start, really, but it's not like anyone would notice. Would care to notice, even should his sleeves chance to slip up and reveal the scratches. Easier to excuse it as the work of some unruly creation than to admit the truth.
It was bad. Wrong. He had to marshal everything in him to avoid giving in to the impulse.
"So, do that then."
Venat's words short-circuited the stream of reflection and self-castigation going on in her charge's head. He stared at her, mouth opening and closing several times before he settled for replying, "I- Beg pardon? Did you honestly just advise me to-"
She shrugged. "I'd heard from some of your colleagues that your transformed state is a snake-like creature. If that is so, then why not channel that impulse and shed a skin in a form that needs to do so? That would help sate the urge without causing you to hurt yourself."
"I- Er, well, no, I wouldn't, but I- that is, uh. Huh."
Aphroditos hated how useless his mouth was at communicating in this instant, his words stolen by utter shock and disbelief. All this time, could it really have been that simple-?
A soft smile crossed Venat's face as she addressed him once more. "Many of my esteemed colleagues hold that our transformed state is the truest outward expression of our inner souls. Yours, being more serpentine, might on occasion become too-tight or ill-fitting, especially during periods of upheaval. You wouldn't shame a snake for scraping off a layer of skin and scales that no longer fit, would you?"
Despite himself, Aphroditos found his grip around his robed arms relaxing. "Well, no, but that is the nature of snakes, not the nature of man, and besides which, I don't- I'm not comfortable transforming in front of others." His cheeks went pink. "I appreciate all you've done for me, but we aren't there yet."
The older woman nodded, a look of sage acceptance on her face. "Very well. I apologize, it wasn't my intention to cause you further discomfort."
Her expression shifted to something more contemplative before her eyes lit up with realization. "Still, there must be- ah! What if, instead of transforming, we went to the riverside and did some exfoliation? I'm sure our skin could use the refresher after a few days on the road, and I've some marvelous stones for just such a purpose."
"I don't know if handing me an abrasive is the wisest idea..."
"Aphroditos, look at me."
Sapphire eyes met aquamarine and held their gaze. Venat laid both hands on his shoulders, offering both comfort and distance as she continued, "I'll be right there with you. I won't let you scrub hard enough to hurt yourself. And I don't think you'll want to do so either, once you get started. All right?"
Aphroditos shifted, awkwardly tucking his hair behind his ear. "I wouldn't want to keep you up any later than I already have-"
Venat scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, pshaw. I'll have much more restful sleep knowing that both of us are safe and well. And I'm sure you'd rather have less hours of more restful sleep than more hours of restless tossing and turning."
He shrugged. He couldn't deny her point on that front.
Once they were both cleansed, pumiced, polished, and moisturized, master and apprentice settled back into their bedrolls for the night. And though he must only have gotten four or so hours of sleep when the sun rose the next morning, Aphroditos had to admit that 'shedding his skin' made him feel the most rested he'd been in ages.
Venat and Emet-Selch were both justified in their own way. They both seeked the survival of their races, both sacrificied themselves for their goals, paid the prices and consequences.
Not Hermes. Hermes created the problem. His choice were not motivated by anything but himself. Putting his own feeling and beliefs above anyone else. Everything he did was wrong. The mission was failed from the very beginning, the very moment Meteion was to be the observator, thus directly influencing the situation and data. And in impredictible way too, so you can't even "correct" it so it would be useable. He took a snap decision of killing everyone, without even reviewing the data in-depth. You just started the job. You can just start to formulate a hypothesis, and you go to the conclusion with immediate action? You would need complementary study, where you choose select racr and see how it evolves. Hell, the ancient could have helped the different race to solve the despair. Helping the dragons to rebuild their homeworld would have been pretty easy, with all the Elpis research and creation magic they have access to, and would also have helped the ascians too with feeling like stagnation.
In conclusion, Hermes was a very bad scientist. Also, very selfish. How did a dude like this manage to get at teh top of what is effectively a eco-biological research facility?
what will you say? >they were all justified in their own way >none of them were.
Hydaelyn in Endwalker
At the risk of looking stupid online I'm going to field my perplexions about Hydaelyn that've been bothering me for months lol This post is... a little Hydaelyn critical. But I do offer that in good faith, I LOVE the character and I'm not trying to just trash her, I'm genuinely interested to hear other perspectives about it. (But please be nice, everyone is entitled to their own take)
Also this is not in response to anyone else's post. I haven't even seen any Hydaelyn posts circulating lately. I'm not vagueing anyone or trying to start drama. Just trying to sort out my own feelings about this character.
So my main takeaway from MSQ was that love is, ultimately, what saves you. That humans (including Ancients!) aren't perfect, and cannot love perfectly, but the shared love of you and others is still what saves you.
And, also, that grief is a part of life. Mistakes are a part of life. Conflict and loss happen, but they need not destroy you. Stand for doing right as best that you can, forgive yourself and keep trying, keep loving - both yourself and others.
There was an incredible amount of emphasis on not judging or hating one's enemies, about accepting the humanity in all of us and coming together, which I really loved.
There was also, of course, a huge rejection of self-sacrifice and martyrdom.
I saw all those themes in the Dark Knight quests a LOT (especially before the English translation changed so many scenes), and I assume Ishikawa was continuing that theme from Shadowbringers onward.
So again! I don't hate Hydaelyn!
But I feel like... at least in the English translation, she is still treated with excessive reverence, like a goddess, by the Scions - even ones it didn't really make sense to after her origin came out, like Y'sthola.
And at least on my first playthrough, while I like Venat a lot and love the drama of the Final Days pushing everyone into points of desperation, to their breaking points, and her decision to sunder the world definitely did ultimately help (help!) make it possible for us to defeat the Endsinger... I dunno.
To me she was still subject to the same arrogance as the rest of the Ancients. Whether her decision paid off or not, she still took into her hands the fate of the entire Star, she still made a decision that would result in millions of deaths.
And if we're going by Hydaelyn's own assertion, that each reincarnation is their own person, not just a missing piece of a whole... then to achieve her goal of a better world, she killed all the remaining Ancients except those three.
She chose to create a world where death and trauma would affect generation after generation - and she can say that it was for the greater good, for the world to survive. But that was essentially the Convocation’s justification too, in creating Zodiark and orchestrating the Rejoinings. Committing genocide to prove that genocide is wrong… is not noble.
The cutscene with her sundering the world, where the people insist they'll return to a world free of sorrow underneath a burning sky, could also NOT be how it actually happened. It had to be representational of her feelings and conclusion. Becoming Hydaelyn took coordination with her followers and planning.
At least in English, idk about the original Japanese, Hythlodaeus's shade describes the time of the Sundering as if the world wasn't in utter ruin at that point. It was beginning to heal, they had restored some natural systems, but the Ancients were short in numbers. At that point, they were done sacrificing their own people, in time they were going to sacrifice other life - plants and animals, to restore those lost brethren.
At the very least, Hythlodaeus's completely different account shows that the two sects of people post-Zodiark were viewing their sacrifice and end goal in completely different ways. Ethics aside, whether the competing goal was achievable or not… we will never know, because Venat stopped it from happening.
But I don't think either recounting has a monopoly on the truth. There was no One Truth, there were just competing needs and perspectives. And though Venat insists that unity is necessary to avert the Endsinger - she perpetuates this division. Azem refused her followers call to help summon Hydaelyn, and I think that's significant.
But I'll also acknowledge that Azem didn't manage to save the Ancients, either.
And you could argue that the Ancients were their own worst enemy. They kind of were.
Hermes was a really, really great caricature of severe, untreated Depression. And he had the powers of a god. His creations were sent to find a specific answer in the world beyond, and like their creator, they didn't have the tools to process hearing an answer other than what they were expecting. They were trapped in their own perspective. He was looking for answers in the stars, instead of in himself. Their own pain and inability to engage with emotion in a healthy way overwhelmed every encounter they had and created the very reality he so feared.
He did not use the proper channels for peer review before sending them out on their mission. Those rules, those checks and balances, that community approach to design, existed to protect the Ancients from their own power, and he deliberately acted in secret. He isolated himself from society, convinced himself his pain was something nobody could understand, made an island of himself and doubled down on his own jaded beliefs.
I don't know what kind of mental health facilities were available to the Ancients - we just don't have that information. But I do know that he was treated with patience and forgiveness by a significant number of colleagues, and his quirks weren't held against him. People did try to help and accommodate him, even if they didn't always understand. He had been promoted to a powerful position. I don't know if it's fair to blame anyone in particular, or even their society, for what happened. Because again... everyone was doing the best they could with what they had.
If anything, the problem was that literally any Ancient could have made a similar mistake in the right situation. They were ALL that powerful. Eventually chaos would happen. Sundered souls can certainly create destruction, but not on the same scale.
I don't personally agree with Hydaelyn's decision not to reach out to the Convocation. I understand being careful, and thinking through what the next step should be before acting. But there's a LOT of "maybes" in this argument:
And ultimately, it's her doing the same thing as Hermes, putting the power of judgement over an entire people in her own hands. She's assuming that she is in a unique position to decide the fate of the entire Star. It's not evil. But it's arrogant. She wasn't special among the Ancients, gifted with some unique wisdom. She was doing the best she could from her own perspective.
Plus... if half your population, and then another half again are about to sacrifice themselves... what have you got to lose by outing Hermes and/or trying to work with the Convocation to avert that loss of life? We don't have all the details, I'm willing to accept that there were circumstances that made it impossible, or at least made Venat decide against trying it. But even so. What did you have to lose leading up to the summoning of Zodiark? There was already panic and destruction at that point.
Hydaelyn sacrificed a lot of people to accomplish her goals. She made a goddess of herself and manipulated people like Minfilia on that basis. She killed so many children and stole so many lives even just by reincarnating Minfilia over and over on the First. She misrepresents the nature of the Ascians to the WoL, keeps secrets, and essentially charges you with being a crusader in her Holy War.
It's Emet- Selch who tries to bridge the gap. Not Hydaelyn. It's him who's willing to consider trying to achieve his goals without bloodshed, if you, the WoL, are strong enough. He says this to himself, out of anyone else's hearing. There's no reason for it to be a lie.
And just before Mt. Gulg, you can see Emet starting to question his beliefs about humanity because of the WoL's accomplishments. Hydaelyn has nothing to do with that. It's all you. And Emet succumbs to his own weaknesses too, so we never get to know what that might have happened if you'd had more time with him. He's not better than her.
But I think it's significant that he's the one who reaches out. Who's willing to consider a compromise at all.
In war you make sacrifices, I get that. But she was not more heroic, somehow, than the Ascians. Both sides were doing terrible things and denying the agency of mortals in order to achieve their ideal world.
So to me... she was not a benevolent incomprehensibly wise mother figure. Much like in real life we go from being kids who trust our moms implicitly, to adults who realize our mother was human and made mistakes, I think we’re supposed to recognize that Hydaelyn didn't do everything right and its our job to carry the future forward for subsequent generations, to learn from what came before, and hope that our own children do the same and forgive us for our own mistakes.
I think its very important to note that the WoL is just as much the Convocation's creation as Hydaelyn's. Without being rejoined as many times as they were, the WoL wouldn’t have survived. She saves you from the Ultima Weapon, Emet-Selch saves you from Elidibus, and its their powers combined that save you and your friends from the Endsinger. You are the legacy of each side’s imperfect love, equally.
WHICH brings me to my point of perplexion. Hydaelyn continues to be venerated. NPCs who know what happened continue to emphasize her side of things. I feel I must be missing something, because to me, the finale of Endwalker essentially shattered any idea that this was a Light vs Dark kind of story. People made choices. People made mistakes. It wasn't good or evil. It was human. We survived in spite of our mistakes because love was more powerful than our imperfections.
The Scions sacrificed themselves one by one just like the Ancients. And got brought back using energy from the Star... not all that different than what the Ascians had planned to do with their own brethren. I just don't see much functional difference there in the sentiments between either side.
I don't think we're supposed to hate Hydaelyn. I don't think she was evil. But I don't think she was better than the Ascians.
So while I don't expect, or want, characters to be condemning her left and right in the narrative, it's still baffling to me that there's such consistent, explicit reverence for her.
cries to 'answers' at 3am
(from the friday night request streams)
