When This Was Made I Was In One Of My Bad Head Spaces - Tumblr Posts
The Girl With The pinned Smile
there is a girl with a pinned smile that “everyone adores”
She knows what they say when she closes her door
and knows that her tears dropping like flies will not help her
The girl with the pinned smile is a model student with straight A’s
She feels like screaming every time everyone says that she will be fine when they give her double the normal amount of work
She wants to drop dead when everyone gives her all the work in a project
When she tries to tell anyone her accomplishment that she worked for and she gets in return is a “yeah, we get it you're smart.” or a “stop showing off.” She wants to stop trying.
The girl with the pinned smile won the lottery with her looks
She has such smooth skin, that isn’t covered with bumps
The bumps are scratched until crimson runs down her skin
When someone says she looks pretty she will respond “thank you!” even though she knows they are lying
When they say that she is ugly she doesn’t respond to it and walks away, and she believes it
The girl with the pinned smile says “I love you too” as she closes her door
She walks over to her mirror and looks the stranger in the eye
She unpins her permanent smile as tears race down her face, her cheeks are sore
Her perfect curls look like bramble bush on top her head
She pushes up her hair revealing the ugly bumps on her forehead
She takes off her shirt showing the bumps on her back and the ugly pudge on her stomach
She takes off her shorts, and bra
She puts on some cute pajamas that don’t match her at all
Words such as Ugly and useless cloud her head
She wants to shut them up
But she agrees with them
A small voice says the opposite she quite’s it so it is not heard
That small voice is lying
She curls up on her bed
So small in the big world
She is scared
And lonely
And fat
And loud
She wants to scream but knows that will only make her more loud
She wants to be quite, but knows that is not her
She gets up out of bed and grabs her sandals
She runs out of the house which is silent
She runs to the closed park
No one ever goes there anymore
In the dead of night when not even a mouse awake
She lets her silent scream reach the world