Yandere Blurb - Tumblr Posts

Fletchers reaction to foxboy willingly kissing him for the first time

Yan Farmer Rabbit + Fox Hybrid Reader

[Reader has no mentioned gender but they are referred to as wife]

-

"Damn it!"

The knife clatters to the kitchen floor with a dull thud. Chest heaving with each pain breath, you fall to your knees - shirt clutched painfully tight in your claws as wetness drips down your cheeks.

Three weeks... Three weeks you've lived with the farmer and he hasn't asked you to lift a finger. This is it.... isn't it? It's finally happening. You were a such an idiot to think it wouldn't. He's testing you... A trial to see how useful you'll be to him in the long run.

"Hey, Sweetness. Something came up down at the general store. Shouldn't be gone long, but- think you can cut up the potatoes for dinner while I'm out? It's not hard. I'll show you how to do it."

He made it look so easy. Each slice against the cutting board so neat, precise - perfect. Just like him. What does he want from you? Does he actually think you'll make for a good partner? You can't even cut up vegetables to save your own tail- Just what the hell does he want from you?!

"Hun? That you?"

Shit. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

You wipe at your eyes with the backs of your palms, scrambling to pick yourself off the floor before he sees you. He can't see you like this- The thunder of his footsteps fills you with a kind of terror you haven't felt since you got locked in that kitchen coop.

"Y/n?"

Your back hits the cupboard wall. Fletcher's large, imposing figure hovers at the door frame. Two steps into the kitchen is all it takes for him to march up to the table. To see your mistakes. Too thick. Too thin. Sliced indiead of cubed like he asked. The farmer takes a breath. He kneels down in front of you, hand perched on the tile a hairline away from your shivering legs.

"Hon-"

"Don't-" You bite. "Just don't..... I missed up. I always do. Why do you even want me here? I can't do anything right... I'm a terrible wife."

"Hey!-" Fletcher grips your shoulder, tugging you against his chest. "Don't you ever, ever talk about yourself like that. You're fine. It's okay. All you need is a little practice. Just calm down."

Liar- He's a fucking liar. "What if I don't get better with practice?! What if all I ever am to you is dead weight?"

Fletcher kisses the top of your head, voice small - crushed by the sounds of your sobs against his chest. "That's fine with me too, Sweetheart.... That's fine with me too. I didn't bring you here because I wanted a maid. I just wanted you. That's all I have ever wanted since I laid eyes on you. I love you- Always have, always will."

His hold on you lessens as your whines and sniffles crawl to a still. Your puffy eyes cross his as you lift your head from his chest. He tries to smile - delicately raising his enormous paw to the fuzzy flesh of your cheek. He rests his nose against yours - just like he always did when he was trying to comfort you or feel a connection, lips inches from yours.

"Whether you can dice up a thousand potatoes or not at all. Even if you make a mess of everything you touch. I'll always be here for you no matter what. I'll always love you - no matter what."

Your arms creep up to his neck, the space between you null as your lips ghost over his. Fletcher stiffens, unsure - fearful of scaring you off now if he takes the dive for you. And so you take it-

The kiss is hesitant. Gentle as the hand stroking at your back, washing away any doubts left of his conviction towards you. Tear drops fall at your skin, but you have none more to cry. Is he?... You pull away as the droplets drip from Fletcher's chin into his already stained tee.

"My bad." The farmer barks out a dry chuckle, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the flow. "Now's not the time to get emotional, but I just- I'm so glad to have you here. With me."

"I know... I'm glad to be here too now, but um... Fetch?"

"Yeah?"

Your ears lay flat against your skull as your stomach whines in hunger. "Can we... finish up with dinner now?"

The laugh Fletcher bellows is far less restrained. "Sure. What kind of man would I be if I let my wife starve? I'll tell you some more tricks will we're at it. You'll be a head chef in no time, sweetheart.... And even if you aren't - I'll cherish you all the same."

Elderly Neighbor: Thank you for visiting me again, dear.

Assassin Femboy Housewife Yan: Oh, there's no need to thank me, Mrs.Smith. I enjoy our little chats - you are quite the lovely woman and they are a pleasant distraction for me while my spouse is away.

Elderly Neighbor: Speaking of your spouse.. Are they treating you well?

Femboy Housewife Yan: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I believe they are the first person to ever treat me as if I wasn't a mere tool. I don't know where I'd be without them today.

Elderly Neighbor: I'm glad to hear that, Dear. You two seem like a perfect pair, but if they ever give you any trouble similar to what my late husband gave me there might still be some space next to him under those rosebushes over there.

Femboy Housewife Yan: Hm, I've always wondered what kind of fertilizer you used for your girls. I don't think I have to worry about my dearest hurting me, though I am aware of a few who have their eyes on them.... Could you kindly give me a list of flowers you recommended for a first time gardener?

-

Reader: You sure have been devoting a lot of your time into this gardening business lately. Glad you found a new hobby for yourself, hun.

Femboy Housewife Yan, placing a vase beside Reader's side of the bed: What can I say~ Gardening just buries all of my troubles beneath several feet of soil -

[A coworker walks up to Fast Food Reader wearing a hazmat suit over their normal work attire]

Coworker: Hey, Y/n... What's with the suit? Did another container of barbecue sauce get spilled in the kitchen?... By the way, is it normal for barbecue to eat through metal like that?

Fast Food Reader: The goat is in heat.

Coworker: I'm sorry?

Fast Food Reader: You know that huge guy who smells like raw meat never takes off the goat suit? Turns out they are a literal goat demon pretending to be a guy in a mascot suit who also happened to choose me as its mate

Coworker: .... Could you repeat that for me?

Fast Food Reader: Anyway, the goat is in heat and I used up all my vacation days for the rest of my life so I'm wearing this hazmat suit hoping it'll mask my scent from them til my lunch break at the very least

[A loud crash comes from the kitchen as the meat locker door is ripped from its hinges. The mascot stands tall over the bent hunk of metal - beady eyes trained on Reader. Fast Food Reader their coworker aside who falls to the floor as they book it towards the front door]

Fast Food Reader: Don't worry! They're probably too horny to kill you this time! They might be a little upset about you wearing my old apron, though! I'm sure you'll be fine!

"Marry me!"

Witch Reader: No, thank you - I have a cat.

"We could be so happy together..."

Witch Reader: My cat puts a smile on my face every other day, I'd consider that all happiness I need in this lifetime-

"Aren't you lonely?"

Witch Reader: My cat keeps me company... whether I like it or not.

"What makes this cat of yours so much better than me?"

Witch Reader: They are obedient...at times, if I desire peace and quiet I can quite literally zip their mouth shut, and, most importantly, they rid me of pests like you-

[A large, humanoid shadow towers behind the witch's admirer - claws hooking onto their shoulders as its head tilts to get a better look at its prey's face]

"Strike four...If only the little rats who chased after you aimed their efforts towards someone they had an actual chance with. Per our agreement I can eat this one, can't I, master~"

Witch Reader: Hm... not quite. Their liver could be useful to me in coming days so please keep that intact for me.

"Wh....what's standing behind me?"

Witch Reader: [smiles] My cat.

Coworker: Why is every demon, monster, ghost, whatever here obsessed with you of all people??

Fast Food Reader: ....

-

Bathroom Succubus - high off her ass: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck- I'm scared, Y/n!

Fast Food Reader - possibly stoned as well: We do this together on the count of three... 1...2...3... Bloody Mary

-

Fast Food Reader, dumping a box of bracelets they made during their shift in the ball pit: Made some more bracelets for you guys- Don’t fight over them or I won't bring more tomorrow-

-

Fast Food Reader, scrubbing blood out the mascots fur: I know I can't really stop you from butchering people, but could you please stop bathing yourself in their blood??

[Lambchop quietly stands up - dunking their head in the bloody water so Reader has to start over]

-

[Fast Food Reader places a cup full of mop water on a customer's table]

Customer: What the fuck... What the hell is this??

Fast Food Reader: The dirty water you're going to drink. Right before you apologize to our janitor for that shit you pulled with them earlier.

[The Janitor runs off to the janitorial closet to write another love letter they'll never give]

-

Fast Food Reader: Happy birthday, Twister!

[Throws a gift box in the clown's party room and sprints off]

Twister: A present? For me???

-

Deer Kidney Guy/The Weeper: So cold....It's raining again.....I miss you....Please let me in...

[Fast Food Reader throws a blanket, an umbrella and a picture of themselves out the drive-through window]

-

Fast Food Reader, carrying a box of stickers and magnets to the ice cream machine: Since I don't really go home anymore I brought you some stuff I used to hang on my fridge- Thought you might like some decoration, R.

Ice cream machine Ghost: heheh.... Hell yeah

-

Fast Food Reader, laying their head on the Storyteller's lap: Could you tell me the one about the overworked cashier who finally gets some sleep without a nightmare for once again?

-

Fast Food Reader: ......Fuck if I know.

"Say, Y/n. Who are your new friends?"

Secretary Darling, sandwiched between two massive demons in human form: O-oh, y'know....Just some pals I made at work.

-

Secretary Darling: Did my skirt shrink in the wash? Why's this damn thing so tight- Ah!-

[Darling yelps as a tear splinters down the backside of his skirt. A snake demon nearby spits out water - spraying another coworker in the eye with their venomous spit.]

-

Succubus #1: Oh, darling, you simply must allow me to do your nails. You have such gorgeous hands.

Succubus #2: May I style your hair?

Succubus #3: Can I kiss you on the lips?... I mean- Do your makeup?

-

Secretary Darling: My feet are killing me.....Hm?

[Darling looks beneath their desk to find their hound demon coworker cramming themselves in the small space, supporting darling's legs on their back. Darling pets the demon as their tail wags]

-

Boss: Your insolence will not be tolerating in this business. If I were a lesser demon I'd have your head. You miserable, pathetic, idiotic excuse for a-

[*Knock* *Knock*]

Secretary Darling: Boss? A new donut shop just opened up near my place and I was wondering if you'd like to try one. My apologies if you're busy- You told me I could visit you at any time so-

Boss, chucking the imp out the window: Perfect timing! I was able ready to die again of boredom! Don't be shy now, come on in!

Ghost Hunter Reader: Look, Tobi! I found this cursed VHS tape online- The listing says if you watch it you'll be cursed with terrible nightmares before the ghost trapped inside comes to get you. Let's watch it and film what happens!

[Tobi [Yan camera man] holds a thumb up in approval]

-

[Later that night as they rest in bed, Reader tosses and turns in their sleep - sweat beading down their face. Tobi places a kiss to their forehead, causing them to fall still almost instantly. The TV at the end of Reader's bed flickers on as Tobi covers them back up with the blankets. Tobi pulls a knife and fork from the kitchen out of their pockets as a shadow crawls from the screen]

-

Ghost Hunter Reader: It was really strange, Tobi- My dream started off as a nightmare, but then everything just went dark. Did you see anything in your dreams last night?

[Tobi shakes their head - clearly chewing on something as their jaws move subtly]

Ghost Hunter Reader: Darn. Must've been another scam. I'm glad you're okay though. What are you eating anyway, Tobi?

Tobi - through text: I think its name was Jack.

Ghost Hunter Reader: Jack? Like flapjacks? You made pancakes without me?!

Tobi: Yes. I was waiting for you to wake up so yours would be fresh off the pan. I'll make them for you now. :)

SCARLET MILK —››››˘˘¯¯¯˘¯¯˘˘¯ notes ! — intense smut, manipulation ,mind break , feminine reader ,,

“Late nights are bummers, aren’t they?” The man stares at you through the window separating you two, his hands in his pockets. This is daily work for you, your life on the line every second of the day. “You look tired.” You glance up from his papers, shrugging. “You don’t look any better yourself.” Your comment earns a low chuckle from him. “True, true.”

His gaze flickers back down to his ID, then to your soft features. “Everything all to your liking?” You huff and look over him, then at your checklist. “Your buttons are differnet.” You murmur. “Pardon?” He asks, tilting his head. He didn’t think you’d really care about the buttons.

“One of them is always messed up. Torn off. Yours is perfect.” You look back up to his eyes. “Get it fixed?” He smirks and nods, sighing. “Yeah, it was becoming a hassle to get on every morning.” You nod, leaning on your palm as you look over his information.

Your uniform was slightly big on you, making a view of your cleavage very clear. “Your bra is a nice color.” He murmurs quietly, earning a soft hum of confusion from you. “What was that?” You ask, looking up at him. He shakes his head. “Nothing. You have a nice palette.” You give him a tired smile, before looking back at the paperwork.

“You work a dangerous job, and all alone too.” He coos softly. “You have someone to go home to? A husband? Boyfriend?” You give him an unamused sigh. “Whatever pays the bills, and no, I do not.” He nods and looks over you again. His gaze never really leaves your cleavage, after all, he’s a real boob man.

He looks over you again, this time focusing on your facial features. “Whats your favorite flavor of milk?” He asks randomly. You look up at him, before shrugging. “Strawberry’s nice..” You coo, looking over his information.

“I prefer whole milk, y’know, the pure stuff.” He smirks. “Straight from the tap.” You squirm slightly, feeling his gaze on you. It feels as if he’s undressing you slowly, and it feels a bit weird. “Wouldn’t that mean straight from a cow?” He chuckles slightly. “Nah, I’m joking.”

You glance back up at him, then at his outfit, searching for anything that might be off. “You’re real chatty today..good mood?” He smirks. “What can I say? Pretty girls make my big mouth chatter away.” You scoff and sigh, shutting his folder and putting it in his respectful place.

“Well, seems like you’re all ready to g-“ “Finally.” You freeze as you turn back to him. “What was that?” He shakes his head. “Nothing, just really glad to go home. You know, carrying milk boxes all day is tiring.” You nod still slightly suspicious of him. “You know, I do have some bottles left over after today. Would you like some?” He asks soothingly.

Accepting milk from the milkman after hours that might be a doppelgänger isn’t a very pleasant idea, but who cares really? Just a little sip, is fine. “Sure..I suppose..”

He smirks and passes you a glass through the little glass pocket in the window. “Take a sip, little one.” You’re hesitant, but it is what it is. You take a sip, before smiling slightly. “It’s pretty good..and kinda sweet..” He nods and smiles.

“Mhm, straight from the tap.” You giggle and shrug. “Just get inside Francis..” You murmur, unlocking the door. As he steps into the building, he surpassingly steps into your office. “Francis? What are you…”

He shuts the gate with the press of a button, stepping closer to you. “You’re teasing me, pretty girl.” He coos, leaning closer to you. The cup of milk is still in your hands, and he wipes some from your cheek. “You’re real cute and gullible.”

He leans down and gives you a small kiss, before grabbing one of your breasts. You’re shocked, a bit confused, and slightly aroused as he touches you. You can’t speak, nor can you resist him, he’s much too strong for that.

“Don’t you like the milk?” He teases, and you nod slightly. “I-..I mean yeah its…its nice..” You breathe out, and he smirks. “Good. Cause I can give you a lot more where that came from..”

He coos into your ear, before gently grabbing a fistful of your hair and lifting your face up. “Open.” You open your mouth to snap back at him, but your jaw drops as he unbuckles his pants and lets his cock just hang. “O-Oh…”

He brushes his tip against your lips, tightening his grip on your hair. “Open.” He snaps, bucking his hips slightly. Within seconds, his length is down your throat and you feel as if your mind just went blank.

Every thrust seems as if he’s taking away a brain cell, leaving you a blank slate. The office is filled with the sounds of soft grunts and wet , sloppy sounds of pleasure. “Mn..that’s a good girl,” He coos, grabbing your hair tighter and pushing your face down even more.

Hours pass, all filled with him pushing his cock deeper and deeper down your throat and swallowing his cum. You can only touch yourself through your clothing and cum repeatedly until he’s done using you.

Once his cock leaves your mouth , he slaps it on your face. Cum and drool drops from your lips. “Look at you, all dumbed out.” He coos, lifting your chin. “Too bad for you, now you can’t work your job. But, you don’t really care about that, do you?” His words are met with babble as you try to form coherent sentences.

“Awh, cute.” He coos, leaning down to give you a kiss. “My pretty girl really likes her milk, doesn’t she?” You perk at the thought of more “milk” , licking your lips. He chuckles and rubs your cheek slightly.

“Humans are too cute when their mind is all mushy, aren’t they?”

® property of jellynature ˆˆ

Murder Clown(Red): Mind telling me what happened?....

[Mime Reader waves down to the gang - danging from a tree branch by invisible strings.]

Murder Clown(Orange): uhhhhhh

-

Murder Clown(Orange): Half pint.

Mime Reader: >:(

Murder Clown (Green): [Snickers] Bite Sized.

Mime Reader: >>:(

Murder Clown(Purple): Aw~ Don't look so down, Mimey. If it means anything - you're still cute when you're angry.

[Mime Reader kicks over a pile of imaginary rocks - arms folded over their chest]

Murder Clown(Blue): A-alright, everyone.... I think you've teased them long enough. Cut it out-

Murder Clown(Orange): The fuck are they gonna do if we don't?!

Mime Reader: 💡:D

[Mime Reader blows several imaginary balloons - tying each around their waist upon completion. With a triumphant smile - they begin to float a few inches off the ground]

Murder Clown(Purple): Well I'll be damned. Point one for Mimey.

Mime Reader: :) .....!!!

[A strong gust of wind lifts Mime higher off the ground - whisking them away before the other clowns have time to grab them. Blue starts to sob as Mime reaches out for them - the rest of the gang in equal states of disarray.]

Murder Clown(Orange): Oh fuck! Pink! Give me your gun!

Murder Clown(Pink): Are you insane? What if you shoot them by accident?! You can't even see the balloons!

Murder Clown (Orange): JUST GIVE IT TO ME!

-

Murder Clown(Red): [holding mime reader in their arms] .....

Murder Clown(Orange): [visibly sweating] ....I-

Murder Clown(Red): Don't want to hear it.

[Farmer Witch Reader places a cup of tea on their coffee table - sitting across from a human looking to do business with them]

Farmer Witch Reader: It is a pleasure to have you. Whenever you are ready, we can discuss what it is you can to purchase from me today. Peaches are in season at the moment. I had a couple this morning myself.

Customer: Those sound delicious, but I actually came because I was wondering if you could give me a love charm similar to the one you gave my sister. She had such terrible luck with women and now she's getting married this weekend.

Farmer Witch Reader [visibly dejected]: Oh...Yes, yes I believe I can help you with that. One moment please.

[The customer picks up their cup of tea, sipping from it as Reader leaves the room. The cup falls from their hands as they begin to choke, fingers tugging at the blockage clogging their throat. Gasping for air, a long strand of cat hair dangling from their fingertips. Claws slice through the fabric of their shirt like a hot knife - bolting them to their chair]

Cat Hybrid Yan: You are going to buy every peach my master has - or you'll be attending that wedding with a surprising lack of arms... Got it?

[The customer nods sheepishly - the cat disappearing as Reader reenters the room]

Farmer Witch Reader: I have your charm. Will that be all for you?

Customer, throwing money at their feet: Peaches.... It's such a long trip back home, haha... Give me your entire stock...

-

Farmer Witch Reader: Lynlas... You wouldn't have anything to do with that human's odd behavior, would you?

Cat Hybrid Yan: nnnoooo

Farmer Witch Reader: Oh. If you had I would have thanked you by allowing you to sleep in my bed tonight. Carry on then.

Cat Hybrid Yan: HUH?! Wait- It was me! Master, come back!

Miller [Streamer Yan] and Sleepyhead Reader- If you think about it, streaming would be the perfect career for them -> that being Reader. Flexible hours, they hardly have to leave home. Hell, they could probably generate a following just putting a camera next to their bed. Reader doesn't really have to worry regardless since Miller is ready and willing to care for and support them. They'd dote on Reader as if their life depended on them and do everything in their power to make sure Reader got the well rest they deserved.

[Side note: Miller uses they/them pronouns only. I've had a concerning amount of people in tags/asks use he for them which makes me less willing to use them despite how much I love them.]

-

[Miller groans as a game over screen flashes on their monitor]

Miller: Sonofa- Wait-

[Miller stands from their chair, place a pair of canceling headphones on reader's ears as they slumber peacefully in bed. They return to their seat - slamming a fist on the table.]

Miller: Son of a bitch!

-

[Miller and Streamer Reader play a fighting game together- Reader staring to dose off as a cutscene plays. Miller switches their controllers as the round starts, switching them back as they shake Reader awake.]

Miller: Babe. Look, babe- You won!

Sleepyhead Reader: mmmm..... I did?....

Miller: Yea! You really kicked my ass there. You'll have to teach me a thing or two sometime.

Sleepyhead Reader: Wow.....

[As Reader celebrates their victory Miller quickly types a message into chat]

Miller: Whoever snitches is getting instabanned plus I'm slashing your tires.

-

Miller, shaking Reader gently: Psst- Wake up for a sec, something came in the mail for you.

[Sleepy Reader sits up in bed - Miller holding up a hoodie with koala ears stitched on the hood as Reader rubs the sleep from their eyes]

Miller: One of our viewers sent me the link. Whatcha think? It's cute, right? Go on- Try it on!

Sleepy Reader, wearing the hoodie: Soft.....[starts to doze off again.]

Miller, catching them before they fall over - hugging Reader to their chest: I knew you'd love it <3

[The Murder Clown Gang hold up an ice cream parlor to celebrate the addition of a new member to their group - Jester Demon Reader. Reader sits between Blue and Pink, curiously sniffing the bowl of ice cream in front of them]

Blue: [picking up their spoon for them] H-Here you go... It's vanilla, but you can have any flavor you'd like. Try some.

[Jester Demon opens their mouth, a ropey black tongue reaching far beyond the lengths of a normal human one unfurling past their lips and licking the ice cream off the spoon. Eyes wide, the demon purrs softly. They turn to Pink, licking ice cream off their cheek leaving a trail of thick saliva]

Pink: My! Well aren't you a sweetie, haha-

Purple: Darn. Spilled ice cream all over my pants. Mind squeezing under the table and helping me clean it up?~

Orange: Not in front of my pistachio, Dickhead.

Green: Hehe.... Got some extra toppings to share thanks to that nice man behind the counter over there.

[Green places a "topping" that looks oddly similar to a human eyeball atop Jester's scoop of ice cream. Red takes it before Jester can eat it - much to the demon's disappointment.]

Pin [Yan Doll] + Doll Reader who despises humans and wants nothing to do with them. No easier way to learn how to love yourself than falling in love with someone who hates what you're pretending to be. Doll Reader has a habit for stealing any dolls they deem abandoned, whisking their new friends away to the safe haven they've created for dolls in the mansion their former master left for them. They'll never forgive that human for what they've done... Dying and leaving them all alone.... They'll make sure no doll ever has to go through the same torment they've had to endure.

"You there! Are you doll or human?"

"Pardon?"

"Doll or human? You look like a doll, but your skin is warm to the touch. If you are human then you have no business here. Get! Shoo!"

"Hm... I suppose I am neither, but my current vessel is that of a doll if that helps."

Doll Reader shrugs. "Close enough. Come in, come in! You're just in time for dinner!"

-

Alternatively-

Remmy[Dollmaker Yan] + Doll Reader who hates humans. Doll Reader who steals Remmy's precious Maribelle the millisecond he takes his eyes off of her. Doll Reader who is more aggressive with Remmy because they've seen how much he cares for his dolls and it reminds them of the human who left them behind. Remmy who becomes smitten with the angry doll witnessing their love and protectiveness of other dolls - doing anything he can to prove to them he'll be with them to the very end. If only he knew how much more that upset them.

"Get away! All you humans are the same. You probably smell like moldy cheese! Given, I don't have a nose myself, but something tells me that you do!"

"Please just give her back. She's my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without her...."

Doll Reader reluctantly hands the doll over. "You'd better treat her well. Love her the same as you'd love another human. Like a partner or whatever. Whatever is most important to you."

"O-oh.... Maribelle is just a friend. There is another doll I would like to get to know a little better though..."

Doll Reader stares at Remmy like he's grown another head as he sheepishly tucks Maribelle under his arm.

"You....pervert! Why on earth would I want to be with a human of all creatures?! As if there's anything you could do to prove your worth to me."

"Meet me this Saturday and I'll give it my best shot?"

[A random human wanders onto Farmer Witch Reader's land - coming across Reader as they rebandage a plant person's arms. A sign dangles around the Tomato's neck reading - "A tomato that bites people's faces off")

"Excuse me? - What is that thing??"

Farmer Witch Reader: They are a tomato that bites people's faces off. Despite their current lack of arms they are surprisingly efficient at it.

"Why don't they bite your face off?"

Farmer Witch Reader: I am his caretaker - same as I care for the other crops in my field.

"That makes sense..."

Farmer Witch Reader: Please excuse me while I grab their food. If you are not here to purchase anything I suggest you leave.

[Reader walks off in the direction of their cabin - Tomato starting to whimper as they leave.]

Tomato: My face itches. Could you scratch it for me?

"..."

[Farmer Witch Reader returns to find Tomato happily munching on something - crimson dripping from his mouth]

Farmer Witch Reader: Tomato.... We've talked about this.

Tomato: Hey- They read the sign. This one was deserved...Why would I ever bite you, Farmer?

Timid Reader: Gah!!!!! It's on the kitchen table! Aspen!....Get it, Aspen!

[Femboy Housewife Yan brushes the spider onto a newspaper and carries it to a window, ushering the small creature outside]

Femboy Housewife Yan: It's gone, dearest. Out of sight. Out of mind.

Timid Reader: T-thank you.... [starts to tear up] What have I become.... I'm a coward compared to how I was when we first met...

Femboy Housewife Yan: Darling! Don't beat yourself up like that. I love the shy you as much as the old you. Besides, we both know that wasn't the real you back then. Just like me.

Timid Reader: Yeah... You're right....

-

[Femboy Assassin Yan hisses as he's harshly yanked by his hair - hands bound behind his back]

Femboy Assassin Yan: Where are they? [spits out blood] If you hurt them I swear I'll-

Kidnapper: Relax. Your little pet ran into the basement when I broke in. I'll deal with them after I'm done with you....

Femboy Assassin Yan: Basement?.....

[The Basement door creaks open - Reader rushing out with a dented metal bat they batter against the intruder's skull]

Former Gang Leader Reader: You come into my house. [whack!] Attack my wife. [bang!] Force me to resort to violence. [crack!] I just want a normal life! Why can't you just leave us alone!

[Reader pants as they drop the blood and brain matter covered weapon - fat tears pouring down their cheeks as they untie their spouse]

Timid Reader: I-I'm so sorry you had to see that, Aspen. I knew it was too dangerous for me to get married.... Are you okay?

Femboy Housewife Yan - a dreamy smile plastered on his face: Just fine~ Heavens, that was better than sex, Darling... Though, you may need to carry me up to our bedroom now so I know for sure-

Rival Knight Yan: Wicked as the witch may be, I could never strike down a woman!

"Didn't you try to stab the capitan earlier this afternoon?"

Rival Knight Yan: Your point being? My rivalry with that man has nothing to do with anything!

[Fem Knight Reader, wearing none of her armor but her helmet, weaves through the growing crowd. She takes the other knight's hand, places it to her chest, before walking away without a single world]

Rival Knight Yan - face red as blood: how.....HOW MANY OF YOU KNEW HE....SHE! HER LEGS WERE AROUND MY THROAT THIS MORNING! .....do you think it is possible to get her to do it again?

"Do you have any pets, Y/n?"

Creep Reader: Rabbit.

"Oh?" ("That's surprisingly cute coming from them." ) "Do you have any pictures?"

[Creep Reader shows the person a picture of themselves sitting in the lap of a pale figure triple their size wearing a gimp mask - two giant rabbit ears sticking out the top.]

"What- Y/n, who is that?"

Creep Reader: Their name is Rascal. They run away often, but whenever they do a person that makes me sad disappears. They ran away again last night.... I hope they'll be home soon.

"Y/n, that's not a-"

Creep Reader: You talk too much..... Oh, hey Rascal. Glad you came back.

[suggestive]

Darling: So... You can change your appearance however you want?

Liu [Shapeshifter Parasite] That's right! [Internally] Do they not like my face as it is?....

Darling: Hm..... When you feel like having them, can you give yourself two dicks? I've always wanted to try double penetration, but I'm only really interested in having one partner.

Liu, covering their face with their hands: Y-yes... I think that's possible. [Internally] Did they really just ask that? What am I getting myself into?! Why do I want to kiss them even more now?!?

[Groundskeeper Reader tugs on a random killer's shirt, tilting their head curiously.]

Killer: Eh? Need something, Groundskeeper?

[Reader tugs harder, motioning for them to remove their shirt.]

Killer: R-right here? We're in the middle of the lobby!

[Reader nods, letting go-]

Killer, blushing: A... alright.... Don't go snitching to the boss about this.....Next time let's go somewhere private

[The killer takes off their shirt which Reader quickly takes - adding the bloody cloth to their laundry hamper as they turn to leave.]

Killer #2, walking by: Did you seriously think they were about to have sex with you in the center of the lobby?

Killer #1: Oh, so we can torture and kill guests in here, but sex is off the table??

Groundskeeper Reader who works in an allegedly haunted manor turned murder-mystery attraction, but the murder is real and the mystery is which guest ended up in the soup of the day- Whether Reader is human themselves is up for debate- They're satisfied with having a job that gives them a roof over their head and allows them to do their favorite thing - cleaning. The ghosts, ghouls and killers at the manor greatly appreciate Reader's efforts to keep their home tidy. They're adorable wandering around aimlessly with their shovel looking for a new guest to bury.

Groundskeeper is also selectively mute because they just like me sometimes fr and no talk, only clean. They overwork themselves to the point of not eating or sleeping which their coworkers are sure to fix for them. Again, whether Reader needs food is a mystery, but they'll eat if requested.

-

[A group of axe welding ghouls circle around Groundskeeper Reader in the cemetery-]

Yan Ghost: Wait, guys- There's something familiar about this one...

[Groundskeeper Reader ignores them, pulling out a spray bottle and hosing down a grave stone with cleanser. Reader reaches over the back of the grace - picking up their hat they dropped earlier and putting it back on.]

The ghouls, in unison: Groundskeeper!!!

-

Killler: Ugh.... I can't see out of the windows...

[The slasher wipes blood of the window with an old rag. Groundskeeper Reader watching in the background - nodding in approval before wandering off.]

Killer: The hell?.... Why does my face feel so warm?

[Later]

Killer #2: Dude, what are you doing?

Killer #1 - mopping the floors while occasionally looking around for Reader: Nothing.

-

Chef: Ohh, Groundskeeper! One of our dear guests forgot to finish their meal. Would you be a dear and take care of this plate for me?

[Groundskeeper Reader wheels their trash can over to the table, reaching for the plate-]

Chef: Ah, ah, ah!- We don't waste food in this house. Have a seat and eat up before it gets cold.

-

[Groundskeeper Reader drags a body out to the cemetery to bury it in one of the empty graves - ultimately falling asleep in the coffin. The Host of the attraction finds Reader - carrying them up to an empty bedroom.]

Groundskeeper Reader: ....

[Groundskeeper Reader wakes up alone, visibly distressed by the dirt they left on the clean sheets.]