Yandere Shitpost - Tumblr Posts
[Gremlin Reader hijacks Miller's (Streamer Yan) streams] (gone wrong???)
Gremlin Reader: Evening, chat. While Miller is in the shower - how does it feel knowing your favorite streamer gets pegged by this guy every night? They may have kidnapped me, but I'm the one wearing the pants in this relationship. They're lucky this apartment is soundproof or we'd have people busting down our door from the noise complaints
"Proof?"
"Vids?"
"i honestly don't know who I want to be more..."
Miller, picking them up by the waist: This is news to me. How do I switch places with the Miller you're talking about? I ask if you want to join me in the shower and this is what you get up to instead. You can play with chat after we get you clean
Gremlin Reader, hugging their monitor: Chat. Chat, help me. Don't make me take a shower, chat! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE A SHOWER!
[A coworker walks up to Fast Food Reader wearing a hazmat suit over their normal work attire]
Coworker: Hey, Y/n... What's with the suit? Did another container of barbecue sauce get spilled in the kitchen?... By the way, is it normal for barbecue to eat through metal like that?
Fast Food Reader: The goat is in heat.
Coworker: I'm sorry?
Fast Food Reader: You know that huge guy who smells like raw meat never takes off the goat suit? Turns out they are a literal goat demon pretending to be a guy in a mascot suit who also happened to choose me as its mate
Coworker: .... Could you repeat that for me?
Fast Food Reader: Anyway, the goat is in heat and I used up all my vacation days for the rest of my life so I'm wearing this hazmat suit hoping it'll mask my scent from them til my lunch break at the very least
[A loud crash comes from the kitchen as the meat locker door is ripped from its hinges. The mascot stands tall over the bent hunk of metal - beady eyes trained on Reader. Fast Food Reader their coworker aside who falls to the floor as they book it towards the front door]
Fast Food Reader: Don't worry! They're probably too horny to kill you this time! They might be a little upset about you wearing my old apron, though! I'm sure you'll be fine!
Coworker: Why is every demon, monster, ghost, whatever here obsessed with you of all people??
Fast Food Reader: ....
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Bathroom Succubus - high off her ass: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck- I'm scared, Y/n!
Fast Food Reader - possibly stoned as well: We do this together on the count of three... 1...2...3... Bloody Mary
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Fast Food Reader, dumping a box of bracelets they made during their shift in the ball pit: Made some more bracelets for you guys- Don’t fight over them or I won't bring more tomorrow-
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Fast Food Reader, scrubbing blood out the mascots fur: I know I can't really stop you from butchering people, but could you please stop bathing yourself in their blood??
[Lambchop quietly stands up - dunking their head in the bloody water so Reader has to start over]
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[Fast Food Reader places a cup full of mop water on a customer's table]
Customer: What the fuck... What the hell is this??
Fast Food Reader: The dirty water you're going to drink. Right before you apologize to our janitor for that shit you pulled with them earlier.
[The Janitor runs off to the janitorial closet to write another love letter they'll never give]
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Fast Food Reader: Happy birthday, Twister!
[Throws a gift box in the clown's party room and sprints off]
Twister: A present? For me???
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Deer Kidney Guy/The Weeper: So cold....It's raining again.....I miss you....Please let me in...
[Fast Food Reader throws a blanket, an umbrella and a picture of themselves out the drive-through window]
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Fast Food Reader, carrying a box of stickers and magnets to the ice cream machine: Since I don't really go home anymore I brought you some stuff I used to hang on my fridge- Thought you might like some decoration, R.
Ice cream machine Ghost: heheh.... Hell yeah
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Fast Food Reader, laying their head on the Storyteller's lap: Could you tell me the one about the overworked cashier who finally gets some sleep without a nightmare for once again?
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Fast Food Reader: ......Fuck if I know.
Who is your favorite character to write for?
tw: yandere themes, very brief references to sexual themes, potential spoilers(?)
As of now it’s Douma. I’ve written him as both a platonic and romantic yandere, which got deleted, and I absolutely love writing him. The funny thing is he’s my least favourite character in the KNY-verse. Like, I utterly despise him, all I feel for him is pure hatred.
The main difference I see between platonic and romantic yandere behaviour is that platonic yanderes is the lack of attraction and desire for you in general. They want the things that you give them such as love or loyalty, they want to protect that and protect you. But romantic yanderes want to have you, own you, inflict whatever that pleasures them onto you. So generally, romantic yanderes are more harsher than platonic. Most importantly, platonic yanderes don’t want to break their darlings, they do not want them to become mindless creatures, and while there are romantic yanderes that don’t wang this as well, they tend to let it happen more than
And that’s where Douma comes in. Characters like Douma, that are emotionless, don’t have that difference in their views. Their darling is the one who gave them emotions, so your basically an extension of what they’re feeling. Although they do kind of differ the treatment.
For Douma the only difference is that there is no s***al gratification he gets from his treatment for a platonic darling, so it isn’t really done for pleasure I guess. More-so for peace of mind when it comes to his treatment of you. It basically cements your dependency on him, in his mind.