Yandere Insert - Tumblr Posts

[Yan Scientist approaches Slime Reader's cage]

"Doctor! Keep your distance! That creature's slime dissolves clothing as if it were tissue paper."

[Slime darling looks around their cage before pointing at themselves]

Slime Reader: ???

[They make eye contact with the scientist - opening their arms wide for a hug despite the walls of thick glass between them]

Slime Reader: :D <3

Yan Scientist: Everyone out of the lab.

"Doctor-"

Yan Scientist, messing with the keypad wired to the slime's cage: Emergency testing - everyone out of this room right fucking now.

Fletchers reaction to foxboy willingly kissing him for the first time

Yan Farmer Rabbit + Fox Hybrid Reader

[Reader has no mentioned gender but they are referred to as wife]

-

"Damn it!"

The knife clatters to the kitchen floor with a dull thud. Chest heaving with each pain breath, you fall to your knees - shirt clutched painfully tight in your claws as wetness drips down your cheeks.

Three weeks... Three weeks you've lived with the farmer and he hasn't asked you to lift a finger. This is it.... isn't it? It's finally happening. You were a such an idiot to think it wouldn't. He's testing you... A trial to see how useful you'll be to him in the long run.

"Hey, Sweetness. Something came up down at the general store. Shouldn't be gone long, but- think you can cut up the potatoes for dinner while I'm out? It's not hard. I'll show you how to do it."

He made it look so easy. Each slice against the cutting board so neat, precise - perfect. Just like him. What does he want from you? Does he actually think you'll make for a good partner? You can't even cut up vegetables to save your own tail- Just what the hell does he want from you?!

"Hun? That you?"

Shit. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

You wipe at your eyes with the backs of your palms, scrambling to pick yourself off the floor before he sees you. He can't see you like this- The thunder of his footsteps fills you with a kind of terror you haven't felt since you got locked in that kitchen coop.

"Y/n?"

Your back hits the cupboard wall. Fletcher's large, imposing figure hovers at the door frame. Two steps into the kitchen is all it takes for him to march up to the table. To see your mistakes. Too thick. Too thin. Sliced indiead of cubed like he asked. The farmer takes a breath. He kneels down in front of you, hand perched on the tile a hairline away from your shivering legs.

"Hon-"

"Don't-" You bite. "Just don't..... I missed up. I always do. Why do you even want me here? I can't do anything right... I'm a terrible wife."

"Hey!-" Fletcher grips your shoulder, tugging you against his chest. "Don't you ever, ever talk about yourself like that. You're fine. It's okay. All you need is a little practice. Just calm down."

Liar- He's a fucking liar. "What if I don't get better with practice?! What if all I ever am to you is dead weight?"

Fletcher kisses the top of your head, voice small - crushed by the sounds of your sobs against his chest. "That's fine with me too, Sweetheart.... That's fine with me too. I didn't bring you here because I wanted a maid. I just wanted you. That's all I have ever wanted since I laid eyes on you. I love you- Always have, always will."

His hold on you lessens as your whines and sniffles crawl to a still. Your puffy eyes cross his as you lift your head from his chest. He tries to smile - delicately raising his enormous paw to the fuzzy flesh of your cheek. He rests his nose against yours - just like he always did when he was trying to comfort you or feel a connection, lips inches from yours.

"Whether you can dice up a thousand potatoes or not at all. Even if you make a mess of everything you touch. I'll always be here for you no matter what. I'll always love you - no matter what."

Your arms creep up to his neck, the space between you null as your lips ghost over his. Fletcher stiffens, unsure - fearful of scaring you off now if he takes the dive for you. And so you take it-

The kiss is hesitant. Gentle as the hand stroking at your back, washing away any doubts left of his conviction towards you. Tear drops fall at your skin, but you have none more to cry. Is he?... You pull away as the droplets drip from Fletcher's chin into his already stained tee.

"My bad." The farmer barks out a dry chuckle, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the flow. "Now's not the time to get emotional, but I just- I'm so glad to have you here. With me."

"I know... I'm glad to be here too now, but um... Fetch?"

"Yeah?"

Your ears lay flat against your skull as your stomach whines in hunger. "Can we... finish up with dinner now?"

The laugh Fletcher bellows is far less restrained. "Sure. What kind of man would I be if I let my wife starve? I'll tell you some more tricks will we're at it. You'll be a head chef in no time, sweetheart.... And even if you aren't - I'll cherish you all the same."

Elderly Neighbor: Thank you for visiting me again, dear.

Assassin Femboy Housewife Yan: Oh, there's no need to thank me, Mrs.Smith. I enjoy our little chats - you are quite the lovely woman and they are a pleasant distraction for me while my spouse is away.

Elderly Neighbor: Speaking of your spouse.. Are they treating you well?

Femboy Housewife Yan: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I believe they are the first person to ever treat me as if I wasn't a mere tool. I don't know where I'd be without them today.

Elderly Neighbor: I'm glad to hear that, Dear. You two seem like a perfect pair, but if they ever give you any trouble similar to what my late husband gave me there might still be some space next to him under those rosebushes over there.

Femboy Housewife Yan: Hm, I've always wondered what kind of fertilizer you used for your girls. I don't think I have to worry about my dearest hurting me, though I am aware of a few who have their eyes on them.... Could you kindly give me a list of flowers you recommended for a first time gardener?

-

Reader: You sure have been devoting a lot of your time into this gardening business lately. Glad you found a new hobby for yourself, hun.

Femboy Housewife Yan, placing a vase beside Reader's side of the bed: What can I say~ Gardening just buries all of my troubles beneath several feet of soil -

Yandere Head Canons:

Hypnotic Affection

Yandere Merman x Mermaid Reader x Merman

TW: manipulation, hypnotism/ drugging, tentacles, kidnapping, yandere themes, delusional behavior, etc.

Since you were young, you had been betrothed to a shark merman named Marin. Marin was a cantankerous individual and was quite rude to you since you weren’t a shark mermaid. The only reason the two of you were even betrothed was so your clans would stopped fighting… yet you knew you’d be miserable with Marin.

You often attempted to court him with various shells you’d find but he’d always rebuff you. “These shells are too small, you’ll need something better than some measly clams to have me look your way longer than a few minutes.”

His words were always as sharp as his teeth. His clawed hands would always chuck your clam shells away no matter how pretty they were, it broke your heart. You really wanted to make this marriage work… maybe he’d budge if you found a conch shell?

You bowed your head to your fiancè before you headed off back toward the sea. Marin had no idea this would be the last time he’d see you in awhile…

You swam farther and farther from home until you spotted a conch. You were on the edge of deep sea territory, so it was best to be careful or else you’d get swept up in the current… but it would be worth it if you’d gift the conch to Marin and he’d finally accept you, right?

Your eyes lit up as you slowly swam towards it but you were quickly snatched up in large tentacles, a screech left your lips when the tentacles tighter around you.

A different merman quirked their head at you as they shimmied out from their hiding spot in the coral. “A-a mermaid? I’m sorry.”

The coral colored tentacles quickly released you before ghostly pale hands began to examine your body in worry. “I just thought you were a fish… I hadn’t meant to lunge at you.”

You were surprised by how shy this merman was, his hands trembled as he shakily checked your arms to make sure there were no marks.

“I’m perfectly okay, I’m (your name). What’s your name?” The octopus merman’s cheeks went aflame when you asked him for his name.

“I-I’m Ren! I’m an octopus.” Ren’s tentacles folded into one another as if they were comforting his nerves. “I still apologize for scaring you… I’ve never seen another mermaid before.”

You smiled at Ren and offered him your hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ren. I hadn’t meant to trespass your area… it seems I wandered a bit too far.”

“I-it’s no issue at all!” Ren beamed, his dark eyes filled with stars while his tentacles flailed in excitement. “If you want, you can stay in my burrow with me! It’s quite comfy in here.”

“That’s so sweet of you.” (Your name) beamed at Ren who ushered her inside. The merman began to become a bit jittery when she accepted so easily. He’s been wanting a mate for so long… and now she was finally here!

Ren sealed his den shut as soon as she swam in. His tentacles blocked the exit watch a large boulder. “It’s to keep predators out!” Ren reassured her as he lead her around his small home. She marveled at the various jars and vegetation he kept. “I’m a sea witch.”

“Wow! That’s really fascinating!” Ren blushed again when you didn’t mock him for being a sea witch. It made his heart flutter. You were so sweet and that made him even happier… the only issue was that you were a different species than him…

“How about I show you a few tricks?” Ren was so happy when you accepted. The octopus merman showed you a very simple spell that made his home brighter. He was thrilled when you clapped your hands and smiled. Ren was so happy to no longer be alone… and he would never let you go.

Ren offered you a meal and you happily ate with him. The vegetation made your brain a bit foggy, but the taste was delightful. Had Ren always been so attractive?

Ren smiled at your sleepy form as you yawned. “Here, how about you spend the night? It’ll be so much safer for you that way.”

You nodded and allowed him to lead you into his den. His tentacles pulled you into an embrace as he smiled. This was just too easy…

You didn’t know how much time had passed since you entered Ren’s burrow since Ren would often feed you every time you tried to leave. Ren made you such lovely meals that you slowly began to forget what even brought you to this end of the sea. You really liked Ren, so why did you have to leave again? You felt as if there was some strange phenomenon happening around you and yet you didn’t care anymore… you liked being with Ren!

Meanwhile, Marin was in shambles. You had been missing for a week now. You always showed up every other day with your stupid smile as you held up some shells you found to him… you were never away from him for long. Marin searched your home in the anemones and he searched all the reefs around yet you were nowhere to be found… were you okay? You didn’t try to go find a bigger shell for him, did you?

You didn’t know it, but Marin always gathered up all the shells he’d throw. He just wanted to look tough in front of you… but now he knew it was a mistake. You wouldn’t risk your life for a shell when you were already engaged to him, right? You were already enough… you were always enough.

A month had went by and you were still missing. Marin now took more desperate measures of swimming out farther and farther… until he spotted a conch. The shark merman rushed towards the shell and began to examine the ocean floor until he spotted a sealed off den. The merman quickly swam toward the rock and searched for a crack until he could peek in there. The sight before him horrified him.

Ren’s purple appendages slid up and down your delicate tail as his hands grasped at your hips. “Would you like to be my mate, (your name)?” Your head felt so dizzy and you could only nuzzle into him. Ren smiled down at your obedient form. What a perfect mate you’d be! It was just so easy to ensnare you and to hypnotize you with his potions… it was all so easy-

Ren was shocked when the boulder to the den was shoved open and a shark merman lunged at him. Ren screamed when one of his appendages were bitten off by the shark. Marin’s large gray form quickly scooped you up and made a swim for it. Ren tried to snatch you back, but Marin easily evaded the tentacles. Ren began to scream as he tried to give chase, but the blood gushing from his missing arm would attract more sharks… he’d have to come back for you another day…

Marin didn’t look back once until the two of you were an hour away. The shark set you down on a rock as he began to examine your body for any wounds. “You’re okay now… we’re going home.”

You tilt your head to the side in confusion at Marin’s words. Who was this merman and why did he seem so familiar? “But I was home? I live with Ren.”

Marin felt a sob rack through him before he bent down and pulled you into a hug. What had that octopus done to you? Marin would protect you this time, he’d help you get back to normal. “You’re safe now… you’re safe.”

You often sat in a trance in Marin’s den. It was as if you were in a whole other world despite being next to him, a world where Marin could no longer reach you.

“Look! I have all the shells you gave me on the walls.” Marin gestured to the various colorful clamshells with a smile. “I’m sorry I was mean before, but that didn’t mean I didn’t like you! I really do care for you, I swear.”

Marin was filled with hope each day when you’d glance at the shells but his hopes would always be dashed when you’d tilt your head off to the side. “Do I know you?”

“I’m Marin... I’m your fiance.” Marin was so frustrated that you couldn’t remember him. He had tried everything… from taking you to every spot you two grew up together to your old den, yet nothing clicked. You only ever wanted to ask about that damned octopus merman.

Marin often cuddled beside you when it was time to sleep. His muscular arms felt so strange around you compared to Ren’s slender ones. You really missed Ren…

“Psst, (your name).” You perked up when you heard Ren’s voice. You gave him a big smile before you slinked out of Marin’s arms. “Let’s go home.”

You quickly swam towards the octopus merman who scooped you into a tight hug. A big smile on his face when you accepted him. He almost felt bad for Marin if it wasn’t for the fact that the shark merman was the entire reason the two of you met! What a sucker…

[A coworker walks up to Fast Food Reader wearing a hazmat suit over their normal work attire]

Coworker: Hey, Y/n... What's with the suit? Did another container of barbecue sauce get spilled in the kitchen?... By the way, is it normal for barbecue to eat through metal like that?

Fast Food Reader: The goat is in heat.

Coworker: I'm sorry?

Fast Food Reader: You know that huge guy who smells like raw meat never takes off the goat suit? Turns out they are a literal goat demon pretending to be a guy in a mascot suit who also happened to choose me as its mate

Coworker: .... Could you repeat that for me?

Fast Food Reader: Anyway, the goat is in heat and I used up all my vacation days for the rest of my life so I'm wearing this hazmat suit hoping it'll mask my scent from them til my lunch break at the very least

[A loud crash comes from the kitchen as the meat locker door is ripped from its hinges. The mascot stands tall over the bent hunk of metal - beady eyes trained on Reader. Fast Food Reader their coworker aside who falls to the floor as they book it towards the front door]

Fast Food Reader: Don't worry! They're probably too horny to kill you this time! They might be a little upset about you wearing my old apron, though! I'm sure you'll be fine!

"Marry me!"

Witch Reader: No, thank you - I have a cat.

"We could be so happy together..."

Witch Reader: My cat puts a smile on my face every other day, I'd consider that all happiness I need in this lifetime-

"Aren't you lonely?"

Witch Reader: My cat keeps me company... whether I like it or not.

"What makes this cat of yours so much better than me?"

Witch Reader: They are obedient...at times, if I desire peace and quiet I can quite literally zip their mouth shut, and, most importantly, they rid me of pests like you-

[A large, humanoid shadow towers behind the witch's admirer - claws hooking onto their shoulders as its head tilts to get a better look at its prey's face]

"Strike four...If only the little rats who chased after you aimed their efforts towards someone they had an actual chance with. Per our agreement I can eat this one, can't I, master~"

Witch Reader: Hm... not quite. Their liver could be useful to me in coming days so please keep that intact for me.

"Wh....what's standing behind me?"

Witch Reader: [smiles] My cat.

Coworker: Why is every demon, monster, ghost, whatever here obsessed with you of all people??

Fast Food Reader: ....

-

Bathroom Succubus - high off her ass: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck- I'm scared, Y/n!

Fast Food Reader - possibly stoned as well: We do this together on the count of three... 1...2...3... Bloody Mary

-

Fast Food Reader, dumping a box of bracelets they made during their shift in the ball pit: Made some more bracelets for you guys- Don’t fight over them or I won't bring more tomorrow-

-

Fast Food Reader, scrubbing blood out the mascots fur: I know I can't really stop you from butchering people, but could you please stop bathing yourself in their blood??

[Lambchop quietly stands up - dunking their head in the bloody water so Reader has to start over]

-

[Fast Food Reader places a cup full of mop water on a customer's table]

Customer: What the fuck... What the hell is this??

Fast Food Reader: The dirty water you're going to drink. Right before you apologize to our janitor for that shit you pulled with them earlier.

[The Janitor runs off to the janitorial closet to write another love letter they'll never give]

-

Fast Food Reader: Happy birthday, Twister!

[Throws a gift box in the clown's party room and sprints off]

Twister: A present? For me???

-

Deer Kidney Guy/The Weeper: So cold....It's raining again.....I miss you....Please let me in...

[Fast Food Reader throws a blanket, an umbrella and a picture of themselves out the drive-through window]

-

Fast Food Reader, carrying a box of stickers and magnets to the ice cream machine: Since I don't really go home anymore I brought you some stuff I used to hang on my fridge- Thought you might like some decoration, R.

Ice cream machine Ghost: heheh.... Hell yeah

-

Fast Food Reader, laying their head on the Storyteller's lap: Could you tell me the one about the overworked cashier who finally gets some sleep without a nightmare for once again?

-

Fast Food Reader: ......Fuck if I know.

"Say, Y/n. Who are your new friends?"

Secretary Darling, sandwiched between two massive demons in human form: O-oh, y'know....Just some pals I made at work.

-

Secretary Darling: Did my skirt shrink in the wash? Why's this damn thing so tight- Ah!-

[Darling yelps as a tear splinters down the backside of his skirt. A snake demon nearby spits out water - spraying another coworker in the eye with their venomous spit.]

-

Succubus #1: Oh, darling, you simply must allow me to do your nails. You have such gorgeous hands.

Succubus #2: May I style your hair?

Succubus #3: Can I kiss you on the lips?... I mean- Do your makeup?

-

Secretary Darling: My feet are killing me.....Hm?

[Darling looks beneath their desk to find their hound demon coworker cramming themselves in the small space, supporting darling's legs on their back. Darling pets the demon as their tail wags]

-

Boss: Your insolence will not be tolerating in this business. If I were a lesser demon I'd have your head. You miserable, pathetic, idiotic excuse for a-

[*Knock* *Knock*]

Secretary Darling: Boss? A new donut shop just opened up near my place and I was wondering if you'd like to try one. My apologies if you're busy- You told me I could visit you at any time so-

Boss, chucking the imp out the window: Perfect timing! I was able ready to die again of boredom! Don't be shy now, come on in!

Ghost Hunter Reader: Look, Tobi! I found this cursed VHS tape online- The listing says if you watch it you'll be cursed with terrible nightmares before the ghost trapped inside comes to get you. Let's watch it and film what happens!

[Tobi [Yan camera man] holds a thumb up in approval]

-

[Later that night as they rest in bed, Reader tosses and turns in their sleep - sweat beading down their face. Tobi places a kiss to their forehead, causing them to fall still almost instantly. The TV at the end of Reader's bed flickers on as Tobi covers them back up with the blankets. Tobi pulls a knife and fork from the kitchen out of their pockets as a shadow crawls from the screen]

-

Ghost Hunter Reader: It was really strange, Tobi- My dream started off as a nightmare, but then everything just went dark. Did you see anything in your dreams last night?

[Tobi shakes their head - clearly chewing on something as their jaws move subtly]

Ghost Hunter Reader: Darn. Must've been another scam. I'm glad you're okay though. What are you eating anyway, Tobi?

Tobi - through text: I think its name was Jack.

Ghost Hunter Reader: Jack? Like flapjacks? You made pancakes without me?!

Tobi: Yes. I was waiting for you to wake up so yours would be fresh off the pan. I'll make them for you now. :)

Murder Clown(Red): Mind telling me what happened?....

[Mime Reader waves down to the gang - danging from a tree branch by invisible strings.]

Murder Clown(Orange): uhhhhhh

-

Murder Clown(Orange): Half pint.

Mime Reader: >:(

Murder Clown (Green): [Snickers] Bite Sized.

Mime Reader: >>:(

Murder Clown(Purple): Aw~ Don't look so down, Mimey. If it means anything - you're still cute when you're angry.

[Mime Reader kicks over a pile of imaginary rocks - arms folded over their chest]

Murder Clown(Blue): A-alright, everyone.... I think you've teased them long enough. Cut it out-

Murder Clown(Orange): The fuck are they gonna do if we don't?!

Mime Reader: 💡:D

[Mime Reader blows several imaginary balloons - tying each around their waist upon completion. With a triumphant smile - they begin to float a few inches off the ground]

Murder Clown(Purple): Well I'll be damned. Point one for Mimey.

Mime Reader: :) .....!!!

[A strong gust of wind lifts Mime higher off the ground - whisking them away before the other clowns have time to grab them. Blue starts to sob as Mime reaches out for them - the rest of the gang in equal states of disarray.]

Murder Clown(Orange): Oh fuck! Pink! Give me your gun!

Murder Clown(Pink): Are you insane? What if you shoot them by accident?! You can't even see the balloons!

Murder Clown (Orange): JUST GIVE IT TO ME!

-

Murder Clown(Red): [holding mime reader in their arms] .....

Murder Clown(Orange): [visibly sweating] ....I-

Murder Clown(Red): Don't want to hear it.

[Farmer Witch Reader places a cup of tea on their coffee table - sitting across from a human looking to do business with them]

Farmer Witch Reader: It is a pleasure to have you. Whenever you are ready, we can discuss what it is you can to purchase from me today. Peaches are in season at the moment. I had a couple this morning myself.

Customer: Those sound delicious, but I actually came because I was wondering if you could give me a love charm similar to the one you gave my sister. She had such terrible luck with women and now she's getting married this weekend.

Farmer Witch Reader [visibly dejected]: Oh...Yes, yes I believe I can help you with that. One moment please.

[The customer picks up their cup of tea, sipping from it as Reader leaves the room. The cup falls from their hands as they begin to choke, fingers tugging at the blockage clogging their throat. Gasping for air, a long strand of cat hair dangling from their fingertips. Claws slice through the fabric of their shirt like a hot knife - bolting them to their chair]

Cat Hybrid Yan: You are going to buy every peach my master has - or you'll be attending that wedding with a surprising lack of arms... Got it?

[The customer nods sheepishly - the cat disappearing as Reader reenters the room]

Farmer Witch Reader: I have your charm. Will that be all for you?

Customer, throwing money at their feet: Peaches.... It's such a long trip back home, haha... Give me your entire stock...

-

Farmer Witch Reader: Lynlas... You wouldn't have anything to do with that human's odd behavior, would you?

Cat Hybrid Yan: nnnoooo

Farmer Witch Reader: Oh. If you had I would have thanked you by allowing you to sleep in my bed tonight. Carry on then.

Cat Hybrid Yan: HUH?! Wait- It was me! Master, come back!

Miller [Streamer Yan] and Sleepyhead Reader- If you think about it, streaming would be the perfect career for them -> that being Reader. Flexible hours, they hardly have to leave home. Hell, they could probably generate a following just putting a camera next to their bed. Reader doesn't really have to worry regardless since Miller is ready and willing to care for and support them. They'd dote on Reader as if their life depended on them and do everything in their power to make sure Reader got the well rest they deserved.

[Side note: Miller uses they/them pronouns only. I've had a concerning amount of people in tags/asks use he for them which makes me less willing to use them despite how much I love them.]

-

[Miller groans as a game over screen flashes on their monitor]

Miller: Sonofa- Wait-

[Miller stands from their chair, place a pair of canceling headphones on reader's ears as they slumber peacefully in bed. They return to their seat - slamming a fist on the table.]

Miller: Son of a bitch!

-

[Miller and Streamer Reader play a fighting game together- Reader staring to dose off as a cutscene plays. Miller switches their controllers as the round starts, switching them back as they shake Reader awake.]

Miller: Babe. Look, babe- You won!

Sleepyhead Reader: mmmm..... I did?....

Miller: Yea! You really kicked my ass there. You'll have to teach me a thing or two sometime.

Sleepyhead Reader: Wow.....

[As Reader celebrates their victory Miller quickly types a message into chat]

Miller: Whoever snitches is getting instabanned plus I'm slashing your tires.

-

Miller, shaking Reader gently: Psst- Wake up for a sec, something came in the mail for you.

[Sleepy Reader sits up in bed - Miller holding up a hoodie with koala ears stitched on the hood as Reader rubs the sleep from their eyes]

Miller: One of our viewers sent me the link. Whatcha think? It's cute, right? Go on- Try it on!

Sleepy Reader, wearing the hoodie: Soft.....[starts to doze off again.]

Miller, catching them before they fall over - hugging Reader to their chest: I knew you'd love it <3

[The Murder Clown Gang hold up an ice cream parlor to celebrate the addition of a new member to their group - Jester Demon Reader. Reader sits between Blue and Pink, curiously sniffing the bowl of ice cream in front of them]

Blue: [picking up their spoon for them] H-Here you go... It's vanilla, but you can have any flavor you'd like. Try some.

[Jester Demon opens their mouth, a ropey black tongue reaching far beyond the lengths of a normal human one unfurling past their lips and licking the ice cream off the spoon. Eyes wide, the demon purrs softly. They turn to Pink, licking ice cream off their cheek leaving a trail of thick saliva]

Pink: My! Well aren't you a sweetie, haha-

Purple: Darn. Spilled ice cream all over my pants. Mind squeezing under the table and helping me clean it up?~

Orange: Not in front of my pistachio, Dickhead.

Green: Hehe.... Got some extra toppings to share thanks to that nice man behind the counter over there.

[Green places a "topping" that looks oddly similar to a human eyeball atop Jester's scoop of ice cream. Red takes it before Jester can eat it - much to the demon's disappointment.]

Pin [Yan Doll] + Doll Reader who despises humans and wants nothing to do with them. No easier way to learn how to love yourself than falling in love with someone who hates what you're pretending to be. Doll Reader has a habit for stealing any dolls they deem abandoned, whisking their new friends away to the safe haven they've created for dolls in the mansion their former master left for them. They'll never forgive that human for what they've done... Dying and leaving them all alone.... They'll make sure no doll ever has to go through the same torment they've had to endure.

"You there! Are you doll or human?"

"Pardon?"

"Doll or human? You look like a doll, but your skin is warm to the touch. If you are human then you have no business here. Get! Shoo!"

"Hm... I suppose I am neither, but my current vessel is that of a doll if that helps."

Doll Reader shrugs. "Close enough. Come in, come in! You're just in time for dinner!"

-

Alternatively-

Remmy[Dollmaker Yan] + Doll Reader who hates humans. Doll Reader who steals Remmy's precious Maribelle the millisecond he takes his eyes off of her. Doll Reader who is more aggressive with Remmy because they've seen how much he cares for his dolls and it reminds them of the human who left them behind. Remmy who becomes smitten with the angry doll witnessing their love and protectiveness of other dolls - doing anything he can to prove to them he'll be with them to the very end. If only he knew how much more that upset them.

"Get away! All you humans are the same. You probably smell like moldy cheese! Given, I don't have a nose myself, but something tells me that you do!"

"Please just give her back. She's my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without her...."

Doll Reader reluctantly hands the doll over. "You'd better treat her well. Love her the same as you'd love another human. Like a partner or whatever. Whatever is most important to you."

"O-oh.... Maribelle is just a friend. There is another doll I would like to get to know a little better though..."

Doll Reader stares at Remmy like he's grown another head as he sheepishly tucks Maribelle under his arm.

"You....pervert! Why on earth would I want to be with a human of all creatures?! As if there's anything you could do to prove your worth to me."

"Meet me this Saturday and I'll give it my best shot?"

[A random human wanders onto Farmer Witch Reader's land - coming across Reader as they rebandage a plant person's arms. A sign dangles around the Tomato's neck reading - "A tomato that bites people's faces off")

"Excuse me? - What is that thing??"

Farmer Witch Reader: They are a tomato that bites people's faces off. Despite their current lack of arms they are surprisingly efficient at it.

"Why don't they bite your face off?"

Farmer Witch Reader: I am his caretaker - same as I care for the other crops in my field.

"That makes sense..."

Farmer Witch Reader: Please excuse me while I grab their food. If you are not here to purchase anything I suggest you leave.

[Reader walks off in the direction of their cabin - Tomato starting to whimper as they leave.]

Tomato: My face itches. Could you scratch it for me?

"..."

[Farmer Witch Reader returns to find Tomato happily munching on something - crimson dripping from his mouth]

Farmer Witch Reader: Tomato.... We've talked about this.

Tomato: Hey- They read the sign. This one was deserved...Why would I ever bite you, Farmer?

Timid Reader: Gah!!!!! It's on the kitchen table! Aspen!....Get it, Aspen!

[Femboy Housewife Yan brushes the spider onto a newspaper and carries it to a window, ushering the small creature outside]

Femboy Housewife Yan: It's gone, dearest. Out of sight. Out of mind.

Timid Reader: T-thank you.... [starts to tear up] What have I become.... I'm a coward compared to how I was when we first met...

Femboy Housewife Yan: Darling! Don't beat yourself up like that. I love the shy you as much as the old you. Besides, we both know that wasn't the real you back then. Just like me.

Timid Reader: Yeah... You're right....

-

[Femboy Assassin Yan hisses as he's harshly yanked by his hair - hands bound behind his back]

Femboy Assassin Yan: Where are they? [spits out blood] If you hurt them I swear I'll-

Kidnapper: Relax. Your little pet ran into the basement when I broke in. I'll deal with them after I'm done with you....

Femboy Assassin Yan: Basement?.....

[The Basement door creaks open - Reader rushing out with a dented metal bat they batter against the intruder's skull]

Former Gang Leader Reader: You come into my house. [whack!] Attack my wife. [bang!] Force me to resort to violence. [crack!] I just want a normal life! Why can't you just leave us alone!

[Reader pants as they drop the blood and brain matter covered weapon - fat tears pouring down their cheeks as they untie their spouse]

Timid Reader: I-I'm so sorry you had to see that, Aspen. I knew it was too dangerous for me to get married.... Are you okay?

Femboy Housewife Yan - a dreamy smile plastered on his face: Just fine~ Heavens, that was better than sex, Darling... Though, you may need to carry me up to our bedroom now so I know for sure-

Rival Knight Yan: Wicked as the witch may be, I could never strike down a woman!

"Didn't you try to stab the capitan earlier this afternoon?"

Rival Knight Yan: Your point being? My rivalry with that man has nothing to do with anything!

[Fem Knight Reader, wearing none of her armor but her helmet, weaves through the growing crowd. She takes the other knight's hand, places it to her chest, before walking away without a single world]

Rival Knight Yan - face red as blood: how.....HOW MANY OF YOU KNEW HE....SHE! HER LEGS WERE AROUND MY THROAT THIS MORNING! .....do you think it is possible to get her to do it again?

"Do you have any pets, Y/n?"

Creep Reader: Rabbit.

"Oh?" ("That's surprisingly cute coming from them." ) "Do you have any pictures?"

[Creep Reader shows the person a picture of themselves sitting in the lap of a pale figure triple their size wearing a gimp mask - two giant rabbit ears sticking out the top.]

"What- Y/n, who is that?"

Creep Reader: Their name is Rascal. They run away often, but whenever they do a person that makes me sad disappears. They ran away again last night.... I hope they'll be home soon.

"Y/n, that's not a-"

Creep Reader: You talk too much..... Oh, hey Rascal. Glad you came back.

[suggestive]

Darling: So... You can change your appearance however you want?

Liu [Shapeshifter Parasite] That's right! [Internally] Do they not like my face as it is?....

Darling: Hm..... When you feel like having them, can you give yourself two dicks? I've always wanted to try double penetration, but I'm only really interested in having one partner.

Liu, covering their face with their hands: Y-yes... I think that's possible. [Internally] Did they really just ask that? What am I getting myself into?! Why do I want to kiss them even more now?!?

[Groundskeeper Reader tugs on a random killer's shirt, tilting their head curiously.]

Killer: Eh? Need something, Groundskeeper?

[Reader tugs harder, motioning for them to remove their shirt.]

Killer: R-right here? We're in the middle of the lobby!

[Reader nods, letting go-]

Killer, blushing: A... alright.... Don't go snitching to the boss about this.....Next time let's go somewhere private

[The killer takes off their shirt which Reader quickly takes - adding the bloody cloth to their laundry hamper as they turn to leave.]

Killer #2, walking by: Did you seriously think they were about to have sex with you in the center of the lobby?

Killer #1: Oh, so we can torture and kill guests in here, but sex is off the table??