Blackout

Blackout

One shot

One hit

Alcohol burning my throat

Marijuana filling my lungs

My problems are fading away

Marijuana smoke fills the air

The buzz in my head grows stronger

My body and mind slowly loosen up

Two more shots

One more hit

My head is now spinning

All worries and cares

Are thrown to the wind

Drunk dialing

And

Drunken words are being spilled

Two more shots

Two more hits

Everything goes black

I don’t know what I’m doing

I feel so numb

Slipping in and out of reality

I feel no more pain

I feel empty

I am a hollow shell

I go to bed Every. Single. Fucking. Night. wondering why having me wasn’t enough for you.

(via no-understxnding)

Drunken Feelings

I can’t get you off my mind.

“I’m sorry.” 

You said.

“Are you okay?”

You asked.

Through a forced smile I say,

“I’m fine.”

But I’m not fine.

I feel like my whole world is collapsing.

I want you.

I need you.

Why can’t you see?

I’ve fallen in love with you.

I miss your arms around me.

I miss the feeling of your lips on my lips.

I miss feeling your body pressed up against mine.

I miss the deep conversations we would have at 2AM.

“We can still remain friends.”

You said.

I shouldn’t have agreed.

My heart hurts every time I see you.

All the feelings I try to keep bottle up come rushing back.

My heart aches when I see your name pop up on my phone.

I used alcohol to try and drown out your face.

It didn’t work.

It just makes me miss you even more.

It makes me feel my emotions tenfold.

It makes me cry out with frustration and anguish.

I miss you.

I need you.

Why did you make me fall in love with you?

I Was There

I was there for you.

I listened to all your problems.

If you needed me

I was there for you.

If you struggled

I was there for you.

If you had a breakdown

I was there for you.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on

I was there for you.

If you needed encouragement

I was there for you.

If you needed to vent

I was there for you.

If you wanted to gush about your day

I was there for you.

But when I needed you

You weren’t there.

I felt like the whole world was crushing me.

You weren’t there.

I felt a heavy weight on my soul.

You weren’t there.

I cried on the floor for hours.

You weren’t there.

I was so close to giving up.

You weren’t there.

I felt so alone.

You weren’t there.

I called you.

You weren’t there.

I needed you.

You weren’t there

You weren’t there,

Because you didn’t care.

“He still asks about you, you know.” She gets a pang of longing and hurt in her chest. “I know.” She whispers “Do you ever think about getting in contact again?” She’s silent for a moment. “I would love nothing more than to run to him.” She says, smiling, thinking back to him. “But so much happened. So much hurt. I was broken after it ended. I can’t risk having to say goodbye again, it destroyed me for a long time. So would I want to? I would love nothing more. Will I? No.”

(via melindacarolinee)

Logging into Tumblr on October 1st and seeing everyone like: