Friendship Breakup - Tumblr Posts

Hmm thinking about old friends. I still do my lipstick the way you taught me, look for your face in every crowd, start to tell a story and feel your name die in my mouth. No amount of anger erases the way we hid in the trees as kids, how you’d run to the door hands full with my favourite sweets. Your smile is my picture of happiness, name the first I learned to write.

Friendship break-ups hurt too

No matter how many times I learn this lesson, friendship break-ups hurt just as much as romantic ones if not more-so depending on the situation.

It hurts and the grief of it is very real.

I want to believe people can talk through conflict, can learn to forgive, to hold oneself accountable for their actions, to do better, and heavens know I try hard myself.

But we are all human beings, and we will fuck things up. This is an inevitable aspect of being a human being.

No one is perfect. No one will be able to ever say things perfectly, act perfectly how another wants it, or do anything perfectly. That is an impossible standard.

I don't believe in the one strike and you're done rule, but I'm also a fool who tends to give people infinite opportunities until my heart is shredded and bleeding.

And yet I still hope that healing is possible.

Friendship break-ups are real. The grief of that is painful. If any of you are experiencing it, know that you are seen.

You are heard. Your pain and grief is very real. It's okay to cry, to find a safe and secure place to discuss it, and it's okay to take time to recover and heal.

Grief has it's own timetable. It cannot be rushed.

Just know you're not alone in feeling it.

You are worthy of care, of being heard, of being respected, of being loved.

Take your time, and I will do my best to remember this as well.

FFXIV Writes Day 4 - "Off the Hook"

End of ARR spoilers, messy friendship dynamics, and relational drama.

Finding himself at the epicenter of a dwindling circle of friends was, unfortunately, not a new experience for Xander. He'd been through it many times before, especially before the Calamity, before he had the courage to live as his true self. The names and faces of those old friends had faded into the fog of memory, but the hurt their abandonment and betrayal seared into his heart remained. Remained and flared as he watched Iori stalk off in the middle of the night, proclaiming that he would focus on the true threats the star was facing- the primals- rather than allow himself to become distracted by petty geopolitical maneuvering.

Xander couldn't help but take offense at the auri man's description of the Crystal Braves. Yes, the organization was in its infancy and needed a lot of refining, but the idea was born of pure intentions and was not simple, petty politics. It wasn't, Alphinaud had grander ambitions than that.

Celeste's abrupt departure just after the conclusion of NOAH's investigation into the Crystal Tower hurt even more. When Iori left, Xander had been expecting it- he'd never seen eye-to-eye with the man. But Celeste, his ally, his confidante...

All the elezen left behind was a note.

"I think it's best if I go my own way for a while. Be able to help more people that way. Sorry. -C"

No direct words of confrontation, no litany of reasons why she left. Just an apology and silence. Now, M'hana was the only one left at his side as things in the wider world kept worsening. Rumors of dragons swarming the skies above Ishgard filtered to the Scions, prompting action.

Yet, they still had moments to breathe, moments of levity. Which is why, within the crystalline wastelands Mor Dhona had become, he and his miqo'te companion had set up camp beneath the stars.

After assisting the locals with some rampaging hippogryphs, Xander wandered back towards their campsite with weary step and heavy breath. The only thing that gave him some pause was the familiar sunny chattering with which M'hana filled the air. That she was talking to someone via linkpearl was obvious, but who...?

"...Oh come on, he's really not that bad."

Xander lurched behind a convenient crystal to keep himself out of sight, his heart dropping in an icy pit to the depths of his stomach. He didn't want to assume, and yet he couldn't help the inescapable suspicion coiling around his gut that she was talking about him behind his back.

A suspicion confirmed moments later when M'hana continued, oblivious to her eavesdropper, "No, seriously, Xan is fine. I get why ye left Elly, I really do, I know he was sort of shoving ye out of yer main 'thing' for the group. And- okie, I'll admit yer right, he can be a bit of an arrogant prick just like the Leveilleur boy can, but it's not that bad hanging out with him."

His heart squeezed, an old, familiar dread settling into the marrow of his bones. Dread, followed swiftly by seething resentment. So, Celeste answers HER linkpearl calls but refuses to answer MINE. And M'hana stays in touch with her behind my back, likely PRESUMING that I wasn't like to take it well if I found out...

"..and to be honest, Celeste? I feel kind of bad for the man."

Thump.

"I mean it's pretty obvious he never had many friends growing up."

Thu-thump.

"And it cannae be easy for him right now, handling all this shite on his own. I sort of pity him, y'know?"

Dread and festering resentment seared into rage. Xander's veins and eyes both felt ablaze as that ever-familiar word, 'pity', dropped once more from the lips of someone he trusted more than any other. Pity, sympathy, oh-don't-you-just-feel-so-bad-for-them, look-I'm-a-good-person-for-befriending-them. That's what it was. That's what it always was, never that they valued him, never that they enjoyed his company, oh no. It was always pity and usefulness that drove them.

His fists clenched at his side, his teeth grinding as he tried his damnedest to keep treacherous tears from falling down his cheeks. He stalked over to their shared campfire, M'hana's blithe and cheerful wave only stoking the fires of his fury.

"So. So. You pity me, huh? Is that why you stayed?"

The Sun Seeker's smile shrank by several molars. "...ye were listening in on the linkpearl call, then?"

"Answer the question."

She rubbed the back of her neck, tousling silver hairs at her nape. "I mean, no? Kinda? Not really? Look, it's sort of complicated-"

"Do. Not. Lie. To. Me."

M'hana shrank back as he stepped towards her, brows furrowing in a pained expression as she replied, "I wasn't! I'm not. I- fuck's sake, Xan, I didnae mean it like that-"

And there it was again. The same gormless, spineless excuse. Xander could practically feel the venom in his words as he spat, "Oh, I'm so sorry to have misinterpreted you, then. Pray, tell me then, how exactly did you mean it when you told Celeste you 'felt bad for me'? That you 'pitied me'?"

M'hana worked her mouth wordlessly for several moments before settling into a defeated pout.

"What's the matter? Coeurl got your tongue, Hana? Or are you just scared to admit the truth?"

She sighed, her expression uncharacteristically serious as she rose from her seated position and set about gathering her things.

"Oh. Oh, so you're just going to leave too? Too much of a coward to even bother answering me? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, coming from the woman who hid behind the mask of her dead husband for moons and ran away when the world needed her most after the Calamity."

M'hana's body tensed, and Xander felt a lash of regret strike against his heart for those unspeakably cruel words as soon as they left his mouth. He recoiled, expecting for her to lash out in return, to shout with all the fire and fury he deserved for such a comment.

Instead, she kept her voice level. Annoyingly serene. "Look. I tried to give ye more of a chance than the others did, all right? But ye've clearly got some stuff that needs sorting out in yer insides, and ye know what? I'm comin' to realize it en't my job to help ye with it. I'm lettin' meself off the hook. Best of luck with the Braves, Xan. Ye and Alphie are gonna need it."

And before he could say anything else, the aether around her warped to whisk her away, leaving him alone by the campfire.

"...You're 'letting yourself off the hook' from helping me?" Xander murmured, incredulous for a moment before his voice rose to an echoing scream. One that he knew had no chance of ever reaching its intended target. "Well that's FINE! I never needed you! ANY of you! Filthy, parasitical leeches, the lot of you, riding the coattails of the Warrior of Light until he was no longer of use to you! That's just fine, I'm letting all of you off the hook from ever dealing with me again! I don't need you! I don't need ANYONE!"

His last scream echoed for what had to be malms for a moment before he collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands and letting out the sobs he'd been holding in. Bravely as he proclaimed it, with as much cruel certainty as he spoke those words, Xander knew himself for a liar.

He couldn't do this alone. He couldn't. Not when a confrontation with the Father of Dragons laid ahead of him. And so, when he'd finally managed to wrangle his emotions back under control and obtained a fitful night's sleep, he made a quick call in to the Scions for some adventurer backup. He would need the assistance to scale the wreckage of the Agrius. He could only hope that they would prove competent enough to handle the threats before them.

“you’re my best friend, now i’ve got no one to tell i’ve lost my best friend.”

….

How I’ve Been Feeling // A Friendship is Burning To Ashes (And I’m Not Sure If I’m Angry Or Just Tired)

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms // Tired - beabadoobee // ritikajyala // Tucker Edwards // aidashakur // Best Friend - Lauren Aquilina

i’ve just reached the full satosugu experience, going through the friendship breakup right now with someone i thought to be my soulmate forever, too bad there was no kfc behind us

Broke up with a toxic friend yesterday. I’ve needed to do it for a while. Tried to earlier this year and ended up forgiving him for using me and allowed him to continue using me. Finally done and finally okay with being done.

Burnt Coffee, original poem Ⓒ Claire Kroening ☕️

ending a toxic friendship and feeling happier but then you have to change your matching home and lock screens, stop drawing your shared ocs, delete your pintrest boards together, and delete shared google docs, and then it really hits you:

theyre gone

Friends are hard. Like, making friends is nerve racking and all, but also just keeping friends. I'm kind of like an obsessive person, but if i havent seen you in a hot second, i just kinda forget you exist?

But also, its so hard to maintain friendships, even ones that are inportant to you. I have a firend i've known sience like 3rd grade, and we've been friends sience then. They used to be homeschooled, and we hung out so often. We introduced eachother to a lot of our fandoms, and have just been friends for so long. But recently, they got really into dance, and just started going to a private school. It seems like they are doing really well there, and im sooo happy for them, but they also like stopped talking to me.

To be fair, its not all on them. there were a solid couple of months i didnt reach out, but seince then i reach out and ask if we can hangout, and they always say they have dance, which i get, because i play volleyball, and im gone a lot of weekends, but they never follow up? And recently i asked what weekends they are availible, and they never even responded. And i mean, its been a little wierd the last couple times we hung out, but their friendship really means a lot to me.

Out of all the friends ive made in the last like 8 years, i thought they were the one that was gonna last. the friendship just had that vibe, you know? And it just sucks, because i really like them, and I like talking with them, and hanging out. I love their family, their pets, everything. but like, i do think its over. And it just sucks, because im so glad they have a better social life, im so glad their dance is going well, but I wish we could still hang out.

I Was There

I was there for you.

I listened to all your problems.

If you needed me

I was there for you.

If you struggled

I was there for you.

If you had a breakdown

I was there for you.

If you needed a shoulder to cry on

I was there for you.

If you needed encouragement

I was there for you.

If you needed to vent

I was there for you.

If you wanted to gush about your day

I was there for you.

But when I needed you

You weren’t there.

I felt like the whole world was crushing me.

You weren’t there.

I felt a heavy weight on my soul.

You weren’t there.

I cried on the floor for hours.

You weren’t there.

I was so close to giving up.

You weren’t there.

I felt so alone.

You weren’t there.

I called you.

You weren’t there.

I needed you.

You weren’t there

You weren’t there,

Because you didn’t care.