Ichor.

ichor.

belphegor x gn reader

angst

​“I don’t trust you anymore, Belphegor.” Weak and broken. Resigned. A voice too tired to pretend. A voice too small to be pretend.

​You are so, so tired. Belphie can see it in your eyes (the bags underneath speak—no, scream volumes. Agony and anguish weigh down on your shoulders like the weight of Lilith’s limp body on his all those millennia ago. He wishes he could save you, but how can he dare when he was the one to have put you in this position?) and there is grief violently ripping and tearing into his heart hearing you so drained and defeated. The spark known as you has diminished and extinguished and Sloth knows he has no one to blame but himself.

“I’m sorry.” You add. An afterthought. A sick sense of amusement finds its way into him, presenting itself in the metallic tang on his tongue and the taste of bile in his throat. How ironic, that you are the one to apologize, after everything he has put you through.

​How ironic, that after everything he put you through, his anger at you outweighs his shame.

​“Are you serious? It’s been months since I…since that happened. I thought we moved past that, or are you still that hung up on the past?” He spits his words out with a nonchalant yet scathing venom, the shame in him burning but still not as hot as the angered entitlement he feels. He…did that, sure. But have his brothers not threatened and attempted the same? Yet because of his success he is punished. (He refuses to acknowledge the difference between failure and success in this case. He doesn’t think he can bear it if he does.) Did his immediate regret mean nothing to you? Has he not done enough? He wants the normalcy you have with the rest of his brothers. He wants what you had with him, before he was freed from the attic. The thought that he may never get that refuels his annoyance and suddenly any regret he feels over his confrontation is burnt to a crisp in the flames of distress.

​“I never thought you would be that petty, Bug.” A term of endearment weaponized against you and you cannot understand why you ever thought you could learn to love him.

(The youngest has always gotten his way, you belatedly realize. He will never apologize, not when his sins have always been forgiven without a second thought. The sentiment is bitter in your throat.)

​You are silent for a moment, unsure what to say, and for a moment Belphegor thinks you may finally understand. He thinks you might have started to see it his way.

​But then you laugh. You laugh and it is jagged, and sharp, and vile. It is broken and crackly and filled with all the things you could never say to his face. Mockery and resentment cloud the room and the worst part is you can’t tell who it’s coming from. Sloth’s brattiness has always been his trademark, and yet you begin to realize it’s one of the many things you cannot stand about him.

​“I’m sorry, is being upset over you killing me that unreasonable?” (He flinches, and a sick sense of satisfaction fills you.) You are raw and hurting and regret clouds the both of you. Him for his audacity and you for ever thinking of forgiving the man standing before you. “I apologize, my lord, but usually, for mere fucking humans like me, we only die once.” Your smile is sharp and predatory, and for once, Belphie feels like he is the prey.

​“Being brought back to life doesn’t change the fact that I died because of you, Sloth. I still remember you killing me. I still remember seeing my dead body. (Your voice cracks and so does his heart.) Sort of a mindfuck if you can try and understand.” (He knows you doubt him and his empathy from your tone alone and that stings in a place he didn’t think he could be hurt in anymore.) You are hot and flaming and burning to a crisp and like a moth to a flame, Sloth keeps flying to his doom.

​“You aren’t a regular human though, are you? After all, you came back. It’s annoying to see you so quick to blame me when my brothers have basically done the same.” His voice is calm, but his head is anything but. Voices in his mind scream for him to go further; to bite and tear until there is nothing left of you, yet his heart and soul plead and beg for him to get on his knees and pray for forgiveness. But when has anything good been done when he listened to himself? The last time he did (“let her love, Belphegor.”) he made the biggest mistake of his life. (The arrow pierces from her chest out through her wings and he realizes with horror that he was the one chosen to be saved instead. He was the one who had caused Lilith to bleed gold until ichor turned to inky tar and Lucifer had given up his freedom to give her another life away from them all.) And Belphie realizes he is scared because he can’t lose another one. He can’t lose another member of his family. He can’t lose you.

​But Belphegor’s always been one to speak first and think later and his words cut deep when he says, “Then again, if it weren’t for Lilith, you wouldn’t even be here, would you? So do you really belong here, or are you just a placeholder for someone you can’t even begin to replace?”

​There is silence, and then there is a stare, and Belphie feels like he’s losing Lilith all over again with the way life leaves your eyes.

​“I think you should go, Belphie.” Your voice is dull and empty and Belphie wishes that he never spoke. He wishes you were still looking at him with hatred and resentment because he feels like he’s killed you again and his breath is picking up and oh, Father, what did he do?

​“Bug, I-“

​“Leave, Belphegor.” You stare at the wall behind him as your pact activates. When he shuts the door behind him you slowly stumble over to your bed and sit down.

​Sloth always knew how to break you in the worst of ways, and from opposite sides of a wall, you both break down from the knowledge of it.

long time no write 🥴

yeah so i lied i didn’t do any of the Drabble requests because i am but a lowly court jester too stupid to retain the ideas of others. i write simply on whims and hope that people do not hate the words I put down as much as I do.

comments and feedback are appreciated i hope ygs know anytime you wrote any sort of ‘review’ I screenshot it and put it in my special album

YGS ARE ALL FALSE PROPHETS!!1! U R SELECTING THE WRONG ANSWER !!!1!1!

omg ive been tagged gigglin an kicking my feet

relationship status: whore in theory but alas not in practice 😔

favorite color: i love all colors the gay in me refuses to choose but usually when i have to select one i choose either blue or purple

song stuck in my head: montreal by penelope scott

last song i listened to: rock on! by mammon and lucifer (stfu its a bop)

three fave foods: um uh cookies black tea and mango anything

last thing i googled: “who did jack black play in the x-files” (don’t ask ☹️☹️)

dream trip: im being so fr when i say the Devildom bro you don’t understand how obsessed i am. irl tho idk maybe vegas ? my friend lives there idk im pretty good where i am tbh besides the fact that it’s in the US

anything i want to do right now: have the motivation to write :((

tagging (feel free to ignore if you don’t want to): @pothologics ?? idk who else to consider my moot considering most people’s OM blogs are side blogs 😭 I’ll make a post to find out later

anyone else who wants to give it a shot should go for it ! ^^

Tagged by @okiecomputer thank you!! <3

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better!!!

Relationship status: taken <3

Fav color: green

Song stuck in my head: helwa ya baladi by dalida

Last song I listened to: bloodhail by have a nice life

Three favorite foods: stuffed grape leaves, biryani, red velvet desserts

Last thing I googled: SNAIL TRAIL MEANING LOL i only ever heard it be called a happy trail

Dream trip: Italy also but somewhere tropical? not sure where

Anything I want right now: a cold drink

tagging: @terroristiraqi @kkujo @medixnoche @thunk @kirayoshikage @xashirama @silkylious i don’t have 10 ppl to tag at the top of my head soz </3 no pressure to participate

you write so good I curl into myself because I can’t scream at 10pm

BEBENSJSHWYAVSBDNNRKAKSXHDBE TYSM IM LITERALLY SMILING SO HARD RN IM GLAD U LIKE THEM ☹️☹️🫶🫶💕‼️

now read my mammon fic bc that’s the one I actually like 🔫 (/j)

but genuinely thank you so much asks and comments like these are why i stay inspired to write i appreciate you bro <3

he is made of love and devotion and loves so deeply and truly that it makes me want to cry. he never forgets the small kindnesses offered to him to matter who it was. he is an amalgamation of the love he has received and that is the reason why the first thing he offers MC is his love.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP WHO HURT MY BABY?!!?

but like ive deadass never seen this dialogue i didn’t know it existed ??!

@still-a-morosexual-help ur the om expert pls help have u seen this before did i do something wrong why doesnt he love me anymore /j