Btw:

Btw:

Comment Blue made: “Sometimes if feels like I just spawned in in a video game and need to figure out my own lore.”

Our brother: “That doesn’t deserve a response.”

Think he hates us being a system. :)

-🩶👻

Message to other survivors:

TW// child on child SA

You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to hate them. You don’t need to forgive them. Even they didn’t know what they were doing. Even if they were probably a victim too. Even if they were younger than you. You’re allowed to be upset about what they did to you.

So many people love to say “oh but they were probably a victim too!” When child on child SA survivors speak up. But the fact is, even if they were a victim too it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt you, that they hurt you.

So if you do want to forgive them, you can! But you don’t have too. You have a right to be upset and angry as much as any other SA survivors. Just know you’re not alone, there’s other people out there who understand, and your experiences and feelings are valid <3

Welcome to the Blue Strawberry System’s main tumblr blog!

~ Alters With Side Blogs ~

🍓- any pronouns, prefer they/them - 21 yo, caretaker and host, brainmade, in a relationship with 📖, 🔦 is their twin brother, has many other siblings and children within our system - blog: @bluestrawberrybunny

🔦 (formerly 🩶👻) - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him or they/them🏳️‍⚧️ - 21 yo, host and protector, Introject of Johnny Ghost from Venturiantale, 🍓’s twin brother, in a relationship with 🍞 - blog: @gh0stp13

🧸 - 🏳️‍⚧️she/her🏳️‍⚧️ - 18 yo, mood lifter/mediator, factive, 🍓 and 🔦’s little sister - blog: @anonymouswhitebear

🧡🐍 - he/him, they/them, or xe/xem - 21 yo, mood lifter and host in case something happens to 🍓 and 🔦, brainmade, 🍓’s best friend, in a relationship with 💅 - blog: @theaffsbiggestfan

📖 - any pronouns, I am bigender and use both masc and fem terms - 22 yo (age slider), protector and soother, Introject of Sick Simon from Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 🍓, ⛈️ and 🩸’s older brother - blog: @depressedwriter25

~ Other Active Alters ~

⛈️ - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him🏳️‍⚧️ - 20 yo, ex-persecutor now caretaker, introject of the played Simon Henriksson in Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 💊, 📖 and 🩸 are his brothers.

🍎 - she/her - 24 yo, caretaker, introject of Applejack from An Apple Sleep Experiment, loves cottage core and outdoorsy things, everyone’s big sister

🔵 - he/him - Mid 20’s, protector, introject of Swap Sans (loves to talk shit about his source. Despises his source with a burned passion), in a relationship with 🚬

🎪 - he/him - adult, introject of Caine from the Amazing Digital Circus, easily bored and says out of pocket stuff in headspace (never out loud. He knows how to behave when fronting. You will see a lot from him in Real Shit Said in Headspace)

💊 - he/him - 24 yo, in charge of body’s medications, introject of David Leatherhoff from Afraid of Monsters, in a relationship with ⛈️, 🐹’s brother

☠️ - he/him or they/them - ageless, ex-persecutor now protector, brainmade but also introject of the personification of death, 🍓’s eldest child, in a relationship with 🗝, has a list of people he likes

🩸- he/him - an age (adult most of the time but age regresses), protector, introject of Book Simon from Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 💉, 📖 and ⛈️ are his brothers, he likes to act childish even when he isn’t little (when he’s little he has the actual capacities of a child)

☀️ - 🏳️‍⚧️she/her🏳️‍⚧️ - over 1000 yo, caretaker and mood lifter, introject of Dream from Dreamtale, everyone’s Auntie Dream, 🌑’s twin sister, in a relationship with 🎯 and 🪐

🗝️ - he/him - 23 yo, caregiver, brainmade, in a relationship with ☠️

🔥🐰 - he/him - 62 yo, protector (ex-persecutor, may slip up every now and again) and trauma holder, SamGladiator introject from an old AU, in a relationship with 🌟, demon alter and is trying to heal from past trauma

🪓 - he/him - 28 yo, protector, Introject of Horror Sans, in a relationship with 💟

🎭 - he/him - 45 yo, goofball/caretaker/protector, Introject of Handsome Jack from Borderlands, in a relationship with 🦾, accidentally become the second system dad

🎳 - he/him - 22 yo, system expert, Introject of Jax from the Amazing Digital Circus, knows anything and everything about our system

📺 - he/him - introject of Mr. Puzzles from SMG4, in a relationship with 🍄, very flamboyant and openly gay

💥 - he/him - early 20’s, protector, Introject of Kiyoka Kudou from My Happy Marriage, in a relationship with 🌸

🌷 - he/him - mid to late 20's, introject of Luigi from both Nintendo and SMG4, 🍄's twin and 💻's older brother

🍄 - he/him - mid to late 20's, introject of Mario from both Nintendo and SMG4, in a relationship with 📺, 🌷's twin brother and 💻's older brother

💚❤️💛💙 - genderfluid, any pronouns - adult, MatPat introject (please refrain from comparing me to my source)

🌑 - he/him - over 1000 yo, head caretaker and protector, Introject of Nightmare Sans, everyone’s dad or grandpa, ☀️’s twin brother, possibly in a relationship with ❌️??? (Have not received confirmation or denial)

🗑️ - he/him, trash/trashcan - adult (maybe in my 30’s???), funny little trash man/internal persecutor??, Introject of Remus from Sanders Sides, been here a very long time, 🍓 yells at me in fake anger because of my intrusive thoughts I share :)

👑 - he/him, Prince/princey - adult, the one they shove to the front when shit hits the fan and one in charge of taking care of the body’s appearance, Introject of Roman from Sanders Sides, in a relationship with 🌩, drama queen and ✨I OWN IT✨

🦾 - he/him - 36 yo, unknown role currently, Introject of Rhys Strongfork from Tales from the Borderlands, in a relationship with 🎭, certified goofy goober

💀 - he/they - 24 yo, introject of SMG3 from SMG4, in a relationship with 💻, 🔦 and 🍓’s older brother

💻 - he/him - 24 yo, introject of SMG4 from SMG4, in a relationship with 💀, 🍄 and 🌷's younger brother

🐹 - she/her - 21 yo, Introject of Sophie from Cry of Fear, 💊’s little sister, best friends with 📖 and ⛈️, close friends with 🍓

🍞 - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him🏳️‍⚧️ - early-mid 20’s, caretaker and protector, Introject of Johnny Toast from Venturiantale, in a relationship with 🔦, writes a bunch

There are other alters in this system, and that have emojis attached to them, but they don’t want to be listed. We use emojis instead of actual names for anonymity

don't worry babygirl I can totally front for the math test ;) (he can't read)

I haven't read all the responses but i will say: sometimes people won't forgive you even if you've changed for the better and frankly that's just whatever. forgiving you is up to them whether or not you've changed but self-improvement is an important thing. however it is kind of shitty that they keep smearing you and your friends after you've changed

Yeah. That’s the hardest part of it all (and frankly why I kept feeling so fucking guilty about what I did). Because the whole story behind it is, I had apologized for what I had done. I said I was sorry, I explained why I did it, I bettered myself, learned what I could do differently if put in that situation again in the future, and did my best to make amends still moving forward.

But then again, this person emotionally abused Blue (our host), and played on their trust issues and explained system responsibility as “no alter should be trusted,” because some of us saw through the bullshit and realized they were being manipulative. They constantly downplayed our boundaries, constantly used mistakes against us despite constantly reassuring Blue that mistakes are perfectly fine and you’re meant to learn from them! X3 (which… like yeah. You learn from mistakes. That’s the entire point), and constantly threatened to end the relationship saying that their alters in front kept fighting about whether we should remain friends or not. Hell, they even asked us for stuff constantly and never gave anything back (which isn’t a requirement but like… they even got so pissed because we had no money to buy them something. You’re an adult. Autism isn’t an excuse to get so fucking pissed at us that you trigger our trauma of our ex abuser).

And then we ended the friendship because we had enough of it. Blue was in agreement, which is why we finally broke it off. They threw a tantrum, forced a mutual friend to block us, and then proceeded to drag our system through the mud by pulling out what I had done a month prior to the ending of the relationship without even giving context to what happened or explaining how I had apologized and attempted to make amends.

Now some people are mad and wishing us dead. But… clearly it’s not about us or us making amends for them. Something I’ve realized while reading through this. Because that entire group of people see accountability as taking the blame and being shamed for it. They don’t care about if I get better or worse. They just care about having a perceived moral high ground above us.

That realization alone has helped so much because it’s just… they don’t actually care. The people who are mad at us and refuse to listen to our side don’t actually care. They just want the perceived moral high ground.

Needless to say, these replies have helped so much because it’s helped me process that (especially since a lot of people have given me the proper definitions of system responsibility and accountability)

-⛈️

Btw: drew myself. Didn’t know exactly what do so I attempted a more realistic things turned out pretty good imo.

And if someone else in this system calls me Grumpy Bear I’m gonna lose it :) /hj

-⛈️