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How I defeated a level 20 enemy at just level 5 in DnD

Me, playing a water genasi: hey dm, does either enemy have an open wound, bleeding and whatnot?

DM: yeah, one of them.

Me: ...I cast destroy water to drain them of their blood and blow them up.

The rest of the party: *various screams of joy*

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you're welcome

I'm autistic and I currently feel like shit checklist

Hi there. Are you autistic? Do you currently feel like shit and don't know why? Try this checklist to see if you can Fix The Problem!

When was the last time you used the bathroom? If you answered "I don't know" or "at least 3 hours ago", go now!

Do you need a drink? Go get one if you don't have one in front of you.

When was the last time you ate? If you haven't eaten yet today, consider eating A Meal, or perhaps A Snack. Something is better than nothing, eat whatever you feel able to!

Is there something in your immediate surroundings that is bothering you? If the light is too bright, turn it off. If there is an annoying sound, make the sound stop or reduce your ability to hear it (earplugs, headphones, etc.). If your clothes are bothering you, change them.

Is your space messy? Pick one area of your room and clean it up as best you can. Clean your whole room if you have the energy!

When was the last time you did An Activity? Scrolling on social media doesn't count. Try actively doing something fun! Play a game you like, read a book, make something, or go for a walk.

When was the last time you Spoke to a Person? Consider talking to a person you like if it has been a while.

How long has it been since you did something Special Interest related? Make some time to do that today. Infodump to a friend, have a nice long research session, look at related images or gifs, make art about it, whatever works best for you!

Try stimming actively! Put on some music and dance, spin in circles, go to the park and use the swings!

If you still feel like shit after trying all of these things, you might be tired or sick. Go to bed early and get some rest. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow!

Hope that helps :)

Remember to also refill your prescriptions so you don't run out!!!

you heard him

Beetlefizz!! Say his name 3 times and Alex Brightman appears and starts forcibly singing at you

10000 likes!

...yeah holy fuck

the fact that we are indeed missing one dnp photocard still.... terrifying

Fuckin' Finally

(a post-Apology Tour Helluva Boss fanfic in which Blitzø seeks comfort from Fizzarolli and they watch MLP:FiM. surely that is all that occurs to warrant an Explicit rating. yup. no filthy gay sex here, nope. *coughs*)

2650 words, a nice lil snack of smut with a side of Feels™️ for all youse perverts.

Huge fan of Fizz teasing Blitz at any given chance 👌

you know that post that's like "if thinking naruto would be proud of you for brushing your teeth gets you to brush your teeth go for it" well today i texted my friends and asked them to pretend to be wizards sending me on a grand quest to eat lunch and buy hand soap and it worked so well i put a load of laundry in and did the dishes too so. i don't know what the lesson is here but maybe give that a try

Refuge.

Baby, would it be so odd?

Summary: My submission for the first day of Fizzarozzie Week 2024! Chosen prompt: Relationship firsts

Notes: Fizzarozzie, Relationship firsts, fluff, misunderstandings

Ozzie grabs his arm and Fizz sniffles and lets himself be turned around, though he doesn’t remove his face from where it’s hiding. “Fizzy, I’m sorry, I think there’s been some confusion. I… I didn’t invite you over to have sex.”

“Why not?” Fizz croaks out, peeking out from his hiding place slightly and staring up at the sin. Asmodeus is clearly concerned, even Ram and Bull look upset as they peer down at Fizz on either side of the sin’s head. “Why would you invite me over to not fuck me?”

Oz shrugs, attempting to look casual. “Well… you’ve been really busy these last few weeks, and I wanted to spend some time with you. I missed you.”

Fizz huffs, rubbing at his eyes. “If you missed me then why didn’t you bend me over the first thing we saw the moment we got here?”

“I said I missed you Fizz, not your body, though of course I missed that as well. But I was more interested in getting to catch up with you! Hear about what you’ve been up to, give you the rundown on the club while you’ve been away. Make you something proper to eat, I know you always eat like shit when you’re stuck with Mammon.”

Fizzarolli stares up at Ozzie, confusion clear on his face. “You really missed me? Like. Just me, as I am?”

Read more on AO3!

He about to show of his special skills 😌✨

** Permission to post it was granted by the artist Do not repost/edit the art without permission Please, support the artist on their pages too **

Artist : まつなか@Osya_Ban

Source

Human!Stolitz AU, featuring Blitzy giving Peak Sex Pest Energy ™️

something something childhood something something raised me

The urge to overpower you, pin your arms down, and tickle interrogate you with questions I KNOW you don’t have the answer to…

^

Tickles at the end of a bad day just to go to bed with a smile on my face

Mood:

if vampires can't come inside without permission does that mean that you can just keep riding that thang and they can't um . yknow

here to annoy more mwahahahahha TW! sk!pp¡ng m3@ls

if ur comfortable, could you do some poly! fizz x asmodeus x reader who skips meals??? like, has coffee for breakfast, skips lunch and has a light dinner or smth???maybe with a hint of smut???

if you’re uncomfortable/don’t wanna do this request, i totally understand!!!

You're not annoying at all!!! Thank you for the requests! Also hello againnn~ :) I did my best with this one (except I barely proof read it, oops!)

Side notes: Please please please remember to eat & drink water yal! <3

CW: Talking about meal habits/skipping meals, A bit of angst, kissing, dry humping, choo choo train

[NSFW Under the Cut, MDNI 18+ ONLY]

Welcoming the end of the day, you laid relaxed and especially comfy on the couch with Fizzarolli snuggled up on top of you. You were watching your favorite comfort show on TV, listening to the distant sound of Asmodeus humming and shuffling around in the next room over. "Is anyone hungry? I'm thinking of making burgers~" he suggests, peeking his head around the corner with his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. 

Fizzarolli, who gasps excitedly, almost launches himself off the couch when he shoots up from his position. You fling your arms out to hold him steady by his hips as he bounces in your lap with a raised hand. "Ooo! Me me me me!" You grunt as he almost knocks the wind out of you. "I think he wants burgers," you giggle out jokingly. He sticks his tongue out at you and you return the childish gesture, earning a chuckle from Asmodeus. "Alright alright! So that makes two burgers." He then calls your name in a gentle voice, "Would you like one? I can make you something else too if you'd like…?"

Before you realize, you're blurting out, "Oh no, I'm okay! I already ate." Asmodeus hums in thought. "Well, what did you have to eat?" You swallow. Technically you DID eat today, just earlier…

"I had the leftovers from last night! They were so yummy even a day later!" Now why did you feel the need to say that? You tried to give him your most convincing grin, knowing you were lying straight through your teeth. He watched you carefully for a moment. The pause silence was enough to even calm Fizzarolli down, now both of them eyeing you suspiciously. Asmodeus sighs in defeat and makes his way into the kitchen. "Alright, well let me know if you change your mind. You know I’ll make anything you want, baby." 

Once Asmodeus is back in the kitchen, Fizzarolli's focus shifts back to you. His hands settle on your tummy as he straddles you. "Babeee," He calls to you teasingly. You give him a smile and call back to him in a similar tone,  "Yes babeee?" When he leans down to give you peck on the lips, you giggle and reach up to tug on his shirt, pulling him in closer to kiss you again. The temperature in the room seems to skyrocket as the kiss quickly gets more heated. You pull away briefly to catch your breath, only for him to chase you back into the kiss.

 Keeping your lips connected he maneuvers his legs between yours and slides his hands along your thighs. Grabs the backs of your knees, he slowly pushes you into a mating press and grinds himself against you. You gasp at the feeling of his hardon dragging against your core, trying your best to match his rhythm in your position. He pulls away and begins  kissing along your jaw, continuing to move your hips together. "Mmm baby, tell me something..". You offer him a whiny ‘mhm’ at the sound of his gruff voice. "What all DID you eat today?" He asks matter of factly. Confused, you let out a breathy 'what?' in response as you lift your hips against him, seeking more of his touch.

He murmurs the question again into your neck, pulling away just enough to see your reaction. You look up at him as he continues to hump himself against you, making you moan out softly, "mm...what do you mean?" He pauses for a moment, leaning down to give you a slower, sweeter kiss, then sits up, still holding your thighs. "I meaaan, what all did you have to eat today? You SAID you ate earlier, but what did you have?"  You blink up at him slowly before answering, "I told you guys I had left ov-" He cuts you off. "I know what you said…”, His voice starts to get quiet, more careful. “But I also know that's not true..." 

Shit. But how would he know that...? "I-I'm not sure what you-" he cuts you off again. "Babes, I ate the rest of the leftovers this morning for breakfast." You swallow and shift uneasily under him, even as his finger run comforting circles along your thigh. "So what did you actually eat today?" He asks again gently. You avert your eyes and laugh awkwardly, already knowing how this conversation was going to go. "Well, I had an iced coffee and one forth of a cookie this morning...hey, don't look at me like that!" He covers his face, fighting a smile "I’m sorry! I wasn’t looking at you any type of a way..." You grumble back, "You were...anyway I was..." A pause.. "...busy today so i forgot about lunch, but as soon as I got home I had some soup and crackers.."

"Babe, you came home with Ozzie at 11 this morning. It’s now 9 o'clock at night. " He says in a scolding tone. "Mhm yeah, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'd rather you kiss me," you say dismissively. Stretching your arms out, you make grabbing motions with your hands towards him. Fizzarolli leans back from your touch, making you frown and drop your arms. "Hun, you NEED to eat. And I don’t mean just coffee or soup either. You need REAL food! You can't take care of your body properly if you're not getting the right nutrition. Trust me, I know more than anyone how hard it is, but you'll only make yourself sick..." 

You know he's only trying to help you, but you can't help but feel defensive and snap back. "I DO eat Fizzarolli and I'm perfectly fine! I don't need you talking to me like I'm some child or something, telling me what to do." He falls backwards as you suddenly sit up and move off the couch, storming away into the hallway. As he sits in shock for a moment, trying to process how things escalated so quickly, Asmodeus peeks around the corner. "...Is everything alright in here?" He asks, eyebrows knitted together in worry. Asmodeus watches as Fizzarolli throws himself on the couch and lets out a muffled yell into the cushion. He then sits up and sighs, "I ate yesterday's leftovers." Frowning, Asmodeus crosses his arms. “What do you mean? I thought baby said-" 

"Yeah well baby lied. And on top of that they barely ate anything today! I just-," he takes in a shaky breath, wringing his hands together. "I'm just worried, ya know? I know what it's like...I don't want baby going through that..."

~~~

Meanwhile, in the room you're sprawled out in bed, yelling into the pillow you have squished on your face. You then lay still for a moment, trying to calm yourself down your heavy breathing. You do find some comfort in the softness of the pillow, using it as an attempt to hug your problems away. The click of the bedroom door opening and the soft call of your name has you holding your breath. Light footsteps make their way to the bed, and you hear and feel the springs make way for someone else. 

You hear your name again and surrender when the pillow is moved from your face. Asmodeus gives you a knowing smile and moves to prop himself up next to you. "Sweetheart," he starts, wrapping an arm around you. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?” You don’t immediately decline, mulling over the previous conversation with your other partner in your head. “I dunno… I just got upset I guess…I really didn’t mean to yell at Fizz…” You roll to face away from him and he pulls you closer. “I know you didn’t mean it…I think he knows that too.” He kisses the top of your head. “You know you shouldn’t miss meals hun, we’ve talked about this before. Froggy and I..we’re just worried about you because we love you.” 

You can’t help the tears that threaten to fall, nor the soft sniff of your nose that breaks the silence in the room. “I’m sorry…” The arms around you tighten and you find yourself tucked under Asmodeus’s chin. “It’s okay baby...” He murmurs comfortingly. “We’re here for you every step of the way.” You both stay cuddled like that for some time before he suggests rejoining Fizzarolli since he had been eating alone. Reluctantly you agree, gathering yourself and making your way into the kitchen. 

To your surprise, there were only two place settings at the table, one where Asmodeus sat down to eat and the other where Fizzarolli was sitting. You sit down in a chair next to them and look over to Fizzarolli. “Hi…” you speak to him shyly. He raises an eyebrow and gives you a gentle smile. “Hi…” He responds. Asmodeus interestedly watches you to share your awkward exchange, biting into his food.

Ready to peel off the bandaid, you begin to apologize, not for forgetting to eat, but for speaking to your partner harshly when he was only trying to express his concern. Fizzarolli listens and offers you the same, knowing that it’s a sensitive topic for you. After you talk things through, he asks if you’d like a hug, which you accept graciously. When you sit back down you notice Fizzaroli cutting into his burger with a fork and knife. Odd. 

He takes a small piece and turns to you, suddenly making train sounds. “Choo choo choo! Here comes the train!” You stare at him dumbly as the fork moves closer to your lips. “Open wideeee!” Rolling your eyes, you let out a laugh and open your mouth, taking the fork in your mouth. He grins looking between you and Asmodeus as you slowly chew the food, preparing another forkful for you. Asmodeus coos from the other side of the table, watching you take another bite. “Good job baby, if you can finish some more we can have WHATEVER you want for dessert~”  

Here is my art request giveaway for @ WhiteSkara (on twitter) ! They requested RadioDust "sewing together" and my mind kind of traveled to this sort of concept. Maybe angel can make silk that repairs objects?