Dick: I Love Sleepovers

dick: i love sleepovers

bruce: this isn’t a sleepover, you’re in the infirmary

dick: then what is this sweet party drink?

bruce: that’s a blood transfusion. I’m giving it to you so you don’t die.

dick: truth or dare

bruce:

dick:

bruce: dare

Cursed ideas

Justice league Glee au

Teen titans team 10 au

Country singer superman

Batman with a very long mullet

Fuckboy Jason Todd

Writing Jason Todd like lason Tidd

Guy Gardner for president

Barbara with tentacles

Supermans trunks being a string

Barry Allen with dread locks

Martian manhunter from justice league action

Bald Joker

Lex luther with a beard

Catwoman with a neckbeard that ends at her bellybutton

Dr Fate but he has a starsapphire suit

Nightwings discosuit but the V line is even lower

John Constantine but he's from Australia

Tommy Elliot with Dora the Explorer plasters in stead of bandages

Enjoy my 2 A.M bullshit, a woman cant always sleep

I know they dont make sense but they had to be gone from my mind

Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?

Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?

9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.

Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.

[Later that day]

Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.

Alfred: *sighs*

Dick: what happened Alfie?

Alfred: this man cut me in the grocery line and his cart was full and two of his cards got declined so he set me back half an hour so i couldn't make my afternoon tea

Jason: *loading his gun* the scum dies tonight

Damian: *sketch pad out* i need a description to find and mutilate your oppressor Pennyworth

Tim: already hacked the cameras we've got him

Dick: isn't it justice not vengeance???

Bruce: fuck it. Damian grab your sword tonight, no one hurts Alfred

Damian: we ride at midnight

Dick: okay what is happening! no Alfred is this what you want?

Alfred: *visibly upset* he had a trump sticker on his wallet

Damian: hisses

Dick: grab my escrima sticks let's go

how can you hate bruce wayne he literally has big tits

Clark: Bruce, this is an intervention.

Bruce: ...

Diana: It's about the adoptions.

Bruce: [scoffs]

Oliver: You have too many fucking kids Brucie. How do you even tell them apart?

Bruce: [glaring] Oh really? Why don't we ask my children if they think I have a "problem"? Surely their opinion should be considered?

---At the Manor---

Bruce: [to Tim] Do you think I adopt too many children?

Tim: Oh please tell me you didn't. What's this one? Assassin? Alien? Vengeful ghost?

Steph: Vengeful Alien Assassin Ghost?

Bruce: [to Jason] do you-

Jason: I'm here because Alfred made cupcakes. Don't presume that means you can talk to me.

Bruce: Dick! Do you think I adopt too many children?

Dick: You're an adult B. Just remember that if you take in another kid YOU have to take care of it, I've got my hands full with the last one.

Bruce: [to Cass] what about you?

Cass: [signs] I also will not take care of it

Bruce: [to Damian] do I adopt too many-

Damian: Yes. To rectify it, you should disown Drake.

Tim: [from the other side of the room] HEY- FUCK YOU TOO

Bruce: [to Billy Batson] do you think I adopt too many children?

Clark: Bruce, that's not one of yours

Bruce: [confused] what?

Billy: [to Damian] am I adopted now?

Jason: yes

Oliver: See, this proves-

Bruce: [to Jon Kent] do you-

Clark: HEY! That one's mine!

Steph: [from behind him, in a creepy voice] Not anymore

Jason, Tim, Cass, and Duke: [chanting] One of us! One of us! One of us!

Clark: [genuinely distraught] Diana! Make them stop! Jon you're not allowed to visit here anymore!