I Look Inside Myself And See My Heart Is BlackI See My Red Door, I Must Have It Painted BlackMaybe Then

I look inside myself and see my heart is black I see my red door, I must have it painted black Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue I could not foresee this thing happening to you If I look hard enough into the setting sun, My love will laugh with me before the morning comes. (I want to see it painted, Painted black Black as night, black as coal See the sun blotted out from the sky) I see your red door and I want it painted black No colors anymore, I want them to turn black I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Paint It Black by Ciara

These lines remind me of Revan slowly turning to the dark side... and a little bit of revalek too.:)

And there’s that song as background music for wonderful Shadow and Bone video:

Let’s break the rules… together (fic)

Was inspired by @darthmirel revalek art and “Let’s break the rules together” phrase. I’ve never written fics in English and fluff with a bit of agnst like that. Frightening facts.:D

The action takes place several months before Malak is captured by mandalorians.

Oh, those young jedi and their “no emotions”...

Pairing: Malak/fem! Revan, revalek

Raiting: PG-13

Let’s break the rules… together

Revan began having disturbing Force visions and she had a bad feeling about that.

Revan flew like a hurricane into the small cosy cottage that was temporary provided to him by the local administration while he was on a mission there. In his wildest dreams Malak could imagine that one day he would live peacefully in such a house ... He could ... if only he wasn’t a promising young Jedi Knight.

Revan was hiding in the Force, so he only noticed her when the door whistled open. The next moment, the girl was on his lap, squeezing his hips with her knees. He didn’t need to reach her thoughts through the Force Bond they shared, since the anxious look said a lot about her condition.

A purple T-shirt, green eyes. The familiar colours he had associated with Revan for so long.

Only her behaviour was so unusual…

She brushed his cheeks with her fingertips before sliding down to his jaw and then gripping it unexpectedly tight. The girl impulsively leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. In strange contrast to the cool hands, her lips burned like fire. He subconsciously used the Force, sending the datapad into a smooth flight to the desk, and pulled Revan closer with one hand on her waist and the other tangled in her hair. She threw him back on the backrest of the sofa with a little effort, pressing herself closer to him with her whole body. First, the thought crossed Malak’s mind that he should try to put the girl back gently and sort out the chaotic desperate emotions that overwhelmed him through their Force Bond, finally opened to him...

However, he kissed Revan back hastily and eagerly instead. Her unexpected actions left no chance to think, only to act. Thin strong fingers in his hair, the feeling of her teeth biting his lower lip a little bit, interspersed with deeper kisses and the dance of hot tongues, more and more moved him from the boundaries of common sense ... and ... rationality. Her closeness was overwhelming, intoxicating ... as always.

Suddenly, Revan pulled away as quickly as she’d appeared in his room. Despite her confident actions, there wasn’t a hint of confidence in her eyes. Something was definitely going wrong.

“What happened?” Malak whispered while watching Revan's face carefully.

Her behaviour was confusing even for him, as it went beyond the boundaries of the familiar actions... and, honestly, not so familiar ones too. She wasn’t herself lately, he’d already noticed that before but she’d avoided any of his questions about that.

Instead of answering, she leaned forward again, pressing her chin against his collarbone that time. Revan's ragged breathing didn’t help him collect his thoughts. A minute later, when the rhythms of his and her hearts were almost back to normal, a choked whisper burned his ear.

“Please take care of yourself. Okay? Wherever you are.”

Malak seemed to begin realizing slowly what was happening. Revan must have heard news about the destroyed settlements on remote bordering planets… about the dead inhabitants.

But what did this news have to do with him?

Could she have a Force vision of him being in danger? It’d explain a little bit more.    

“I don’t want to lose you,” Revan leaned back watching him closely.

Something in her eyes and a whirl of conflicting emotions as well reminded Malak of his own state of mind when he realized that Revan had nearly died at the hands of a damn Sith two years ago. On a mission seemed to be safe at first. In an indistinct cave. On a remote planet ...

Revan felt the same... fear for him. Willingly or unwillingly, she broadcast them to him through the Bond. Looking into deadly serious green eyes, he perceived mixed feelings of tenderness, gratitude and care in his chest to that girl who he cared about since the moment he’d met her for the first time. Since the moment she’d begun to mean much more to him than the whole world surrounding him in the Jedi Order from the age of three, than any masters or the Order itself associated with codes and rules mostly.

Malak was so overwhelmed by the feelings that only a bit later he unconsciously caught himself holding his breath.

He knew that Revan learnt about his feelings too.

“You won’t lose me,” he said as gently as possible, pressing his hand to the girl’s soft cheek.

A moment later, she closed her eyes when kissed his palm lightly and then pressed it to her cheek again. She hesitated for a bit before interlacing her fingers with his.

“Let's forget about the rules,” she said without opening her eyes. Her voice sounded quite calm that time.

The Force connection between them made all the spoken and unspoken words clear.

“You mean, let's break the rules together?” Malak clarified, smiling broadly and squeezing the girl's fingers tighter.

“Yeah,” Revan nodded, opened her eyes, smiling lightly at him, and repeated the words softly. “Let's break the rules together.”

He didn’t remember who was the first one that said the phrase many years ago. They often used that secret code phrase to offer each other to do something going beyond the rules of the Order. But he knew that he’d waited a long time for the right moment when it would sound like that. So, it didn't matter which one of them said those words first. He became more and more convinced of the thought as he was being thrilled by the feeling of her lips slowly kissing his neck and narrow palms on his chest, the warmth of which he felt through the fabric of a tight T-shirt.

Malak didn’t put much effort to lock the door and lower the shutters using the Force.

The Jedi Order was hundreds of thousands of light years away, and military operations ... seemed like just another raid by scattered Mandalorian tribes. Nothing more.

Frozen and broken Don't know where you're going Losing your identity You're so caught up in hiding But everybody sees You're never gonna feel You're never gonna heal You're never gonna know What's fake or real 'Til you know who you are You're lying to your face And running in a race You're never gonna win 'til you find your place And you know who you are You're crawling and falling But no one hears you calling When you're in a world of glass 'Til your bubble bursts And the true you's first You're always coming last You're never gonna feel You're never gonna heal

Who You Are by Lunatica

This could be a song about “amnesiac” Revan... I guess. :D

Revan fighting with any Sith/dark jedi: There's just time for you to die! Revan fighting with Malak on the Star Forge:  There's just no time to die... for both of us...

Revan to Malak and Bastila on the Leviathan: Wow! Your actions make me seem almost like a nice person!

Uthar Wynn/Yuthura Ban: Darth Malak'll kill me when he knows I didn't capture you and just let you go...

Revan: Malak's far away from here. But I'm here... Right now!