Surprise, Bub |

Surprise, Bub | ᡣ𐭩

Deadpool x Gn!Reader x Wolverine

summary: You break into Deadpool’s house to confront him only to find a mysterious man who’s kind of your type.

— ᡣ𐭩

Breaking into Deadpool’s apartment was almost too easy. You’d expected more—laser tripwires, explosives, maybe a pit of rabid raccoons. Instead, there was a simple lock, easily picked, and now you were standing in his living room, clutching your gun with a mix of tension and adrenaline.

The place was as chaotic as you’d imagined: mismatched furniture, a clutter of weapons and comic books, and the faint smell of old pizza lingering in the air. You glanced around, your eyes narrowing as you prepared to confront the man who had been causing you so much grief lately.

But before you could locate your target, a deep, gravelly voice interrupted your thoughts.

“You lost, bub?”

You spun around, gun aimed and ready, but the sight that met you was… unexpected. A man stood in the doorway, arms crossed over a broad chest. He was ruggedly handsome, with wild hair and piercing eyes that seemed to cut through you. There was an air of danger around him, something primal that made your heart beat a little faster.

“Who the hell are you?” you demanded, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Logan,” he replied, his voice carrying a low, rumbling growl. “And I could ask you the same thing.”

Before you could respond, the familiar, obnoxiously cheerful voice of Deadpool echoed through the room.

“Hey! Look who decided to drop in unannounced!” Wade exclaimed, popping up behind Logan. He looked between the two of you, a mischievous grin spreading across his masked face. “Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

You shot Wade a glare. “I came here to settle things with you, not—”

“Not to get distracted by my handsome, hairy friend here?” Wade interrupted, waggling his eyebrows. “I mean, I don’t blame you. Logan’s a catch. But hey, we can all play nice, right?”

Logan let out a snort, his eyes never leaving yours. “You got some guts breaking into this place, kid.”

“I’m not a kid,” you retorted, feeling a little braver than before. “And I came here to—”

“To kick my ass?” Deadpool interjected, bouncing over to you with an exaggerated pout. “Aw, you shouldn’t have. I’m flattered, really. You know, peanut over here tried the same thing one time.”

Before you could even begin to respond, Wade wrapped an arm around your shoulder, leaning in close. “But I gotta warn ya, if you’re gonna take me on, you gotta deal with him too.” He jerked his thumb toward Logan, who was now smirking at the both of you.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected when you broke into Deadpool’s apartment, but this was definitely not it. Confronting one was bad enough, but both of them together? The thought should have made you uneasy, but instead, there was something thrilling about it. The tension in the room was thick, charged with an energy that was both dangerous and alluring.

“What’s it gonna be, bub?” Logan asked, his voice low and challenging. “You gonna make a move, or are you just here to gawk?”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you looked between them. You could feel Wade’s eyes on you, feel the heat radiating from Logan’s presence. This wasn’t what you’d planned, but maybe plans were overrated.

You squared your shoulders, smirking back at Logan. “Maybe I’m here for both.”

Wade let out a delighted cackle. “Oh, I like this one, Logan. Can we keep him?”

Logan just chuckled, shaking his head. “We’ll see about that, Wade.”

“Besides, you already got a pet.”

Before you knew it, the tension shifted from dangerous to something else entirely. Wade’s hands were on your shoulders, his masked face inches from yours, while Logan stepped closer, his presence towering and imposing.

The confrontation you’d come for was far from over. But as you stood there between them, you realized that maybe, just maybe, this was exactly where you wanted to be.

You stared at Logan’s chest and grinned.

Definitely where you wanted to be.

“Now time to stop the one-shot or we’ll end up forcing the author to write a threesome.” Wade implied.

“Ugh.” You and Logan both groaned at his comment.

Fin.

a/n: I would apologize but im not sorry.

ao3 editor 🗣️🗣️

plz reblog for science

@hyyyyde

Here is Miguel for u. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this for transforming me into a rat in ur story)

LIES, SPIES, AND HOT GUYS |

Gn!Detective!Reader x Batman

summary: as a detective you make sure you prioritize Bruce Wayne’s safety but he assures you he doesn’t need it, prick.

You never expected to find yourself at one of Gotham's most glamorous events—a gala at Wayne Manor. Awkward and out of place, you struggle to fit in among Gotham's elite.

The moment you stepped into Wayne Manor, you felt like a fish out of water. The grand chandeliers, the polished marble floors, and the glittering gowns of Gotham's elite were a far cry from the gritty crime scenes and dimly lit precincts you were used to.

Far different. The air felt too expensive to breathe.

Why had you even agreed to this?

Oh right, the Commissioner insisted on having "a few of Gotham's finest" at the event, just in case. And with your gruff demeanor and awkward social skills, you had drawn the short straw.

Awkwardly, you stood near a large ornate column, sipping a glass of water and trying to avoid eye contact with the crowd. Despite the suit and tie—or, in their case, a somewhat ill-fitting tuxedo—they felt utterly out of place. The pants felt too tight around your rear and you got this done at the shop. How could they screw that up?

Your eyes scanned the room, taking in every detail, searching for anything—or anyone—out of the ordinary.

Just as you were beginning to try to relax, you spotted a group of familiar faces. The Wayne kids—Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, and a few others—stood near the large windows, looking far too at ease in the luxurious setting.

Summoning a bit of courage, you approached them. After all, if they were going to be stuck here, they might as well make some polite conversation.

"Grayson, Drake," You greeted with a nod, trying to sound casual but polite.

Dick smiled brightly. "Detective! Didn't expect to see you here!"

"Yeah, well… duty calls, I wasn’t exactly invited by you but..” You muttered, feeling a bit more self-conscious than you intended. Tim gave a small nod of acknowledgment, while Damian looked as uninterested as ever.

Why do you even try at this.

Before the conversation could go further, a familiar voice cut through the air.

"Detective, welcome to Wayne Manor."

You turned to see Bruce Wayne approaching, his signature charming smile firmly in place. The billionaire looked every bit the part, effortlessly exuding wealth and charisma.

His looks lived up to the legend, pretty punk.

"Mr. Wayne," You greeted, doing their best to mask their awkwardness. Which probably failed. "Thanks for having me.”

"Of course. I always appreciate Gotham's finest keeping an eye on things," Bruce replied, his tone friendly yet distant. There was a glint in his eyes, something that set you on edge. Before they could respond, Bruce offered another smile, then excused himself, moving on to mingle with other guests.

You watched him go, your brows furrowing. Something about Bruce seemed… off. But before you could dwell on it, your attention snapped back to the task at hand: scanning the room for any potential threats.

As the evening wore on, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease. You kept a close eye on Bruce from across the room, noting how the billionaire seemed to glide through the crowd effortlessly, charming everyone he spoke to. But that nagging feeling in the back of your mind wouldn't go away.

And then it happened.

A loud crash echoed through the grand hall, followed by the panicked screams of guests. The doors burst open, and a group of armed robbers stormed in, weapons raised. Chaos erupted as people dove for cover, and the orchestra’s music was abruptly silenced.

"Everyone down! Now!" one of the robbers shouted, firing a warning shot into the ceiling.

Instinctively, you reached for their gun, but the crowd's panic made it impossible to get a clear shot. People were scrambling, pushing, and shouting. In the confusion, you caught sight of Bruce Wayne, who had been near the doors moments before. Now, he was nowhere to be seen.

Damn it!

You pushed through the crowd, your focus entirely on finding Bruce. If something happened to Gotham's golden boy on your watch, you would never forgive yourself.

Thankfully, you managed to slip away from the main hall, only to find Bruce backing into a nearby room, the door clicking shut just as you reached it. They shoved the door open and rushed inside, finding Bruce standing calmly by the window, looking far too composed for someone who was supposed to be terrified.

His fingers twitched when he heard the door open though, so maybe he was alarmed. You couldn’t blame him, it was a scary situation for anyone.

"Mr. Wayne, are you alright?" You panted, closing the door behind them and locking it.

Bruce turned to face them, an almost amused expression on his face. "I’m fine, Detective."

"Good. Stay here," You ordered, pulling out their gun and moving to stand between Bruce and the door. "I’ll handle this."

Bruce raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. "That won’t be necessary."

You frowned. "What do you mean it won’t be necessary? There are armed robbers out there! You need to stay put, or you could get hurt."

"I assure you, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Bruce said, his tone calm and almost… teasing.

The detective’s frustration flared. Here you were, trying to protect this man, and he was acting like it was no big deal. "Look, I get that you’re used to getting your way, but right now, you need to let me do my job!"

Bruce’s eyes narrowed slightly, the playful glint fading. "And what if I told you that I could handle this situation better than you think?"

You were about to snap back, but the words died in their throat as they realized what Bruce was implying. "You’re not seriously thinking about playing hero, are you? This is my duty.”

Marching up to him, you poked your finger repeatedly into his chest.

“I’m here to protect you, Mr. Wayne.”

Before Bruce could respond, a loud bang echoed from the hallway, followed by heavy footsteps approaching the door. With precision, you pulled Bruce by the waist and forced him behind you. You stiffened, turning their full attention to the door. "Stay behind me."

"Detective—"

"I said stay behind me!" You hissed, cutting Bruce off as you aimed your gun at the door. Your heart pounded in your chest, adrenaline surging through your veins.

The door burst open, and you were ready to fire, but the figure that entered the room made them hesitate. It was Nightwing.

"Hold your fire!" Nightwing ordered, raising his hands as he stepped inside.

You lowered their weapon, exhaling a shaky breath. "What are you doing here?"

Nightwing glanced at Bruce, then back at you. A cheeky glint in his eyes. "I’m here to get him out of here.”

"Wait, you know him?" You asked, confused.

Nightwing’s lips curled into a half-smile. "You could say that."

Bruce stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Thank you for your concern, Detective, but I’ll be safe with him."

You opened their mouth to argue, but the calm, assured look in Bruce’s eyes stopped them. For some reason, you believed him—despite how absurd it all seemed.

But did you seriously suck that much at your job that he felt safer with masked vigilante than a GCPD officer? You felt your pride shatter.

With a bitter taste in your mouth and the slightest pout on your lips, you nodded. Giving Bruce a pat on the back.

Nightwing took Bruce by the arm, guiding him toward the door. "Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe."

You watched them go, their mind racing. None of this made sense. Why would Nightwing, of all people, be protecting Bruce Wayne? And why did Bruce seem so… unconcerned?

As the door closed behind them, You finally allowed yourself to breathe. The realization hit you like a freight train: Batman was out there, hunting these criminals, and Bruce Wayne was likely his next target.

"Idiot," You muttered to yourself, rubbing your temples. "Of course, Batman would want to protect him."

Then you felt your heart sink.

“Or harm him.”

But deep down, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to Bruce Wayne than met the eye. Something you couldn’t quite put you're finger on.

As you exited the room, ready to join the fight outside, you couldn’t help but wonder: Just who exactly was Bruce Wayne? And why did they feel like they were in way over their head?

One thing was for sure: you were going to find out.

And when you did, you had a feeling it would change everything.

Red Hood stopped your inner monologue. “Yo, Hey, Dude— C’mon. Snap out of it.”

You blinked, your eyes reaching up.

“Now, are you going to stand there looking like a rookie, or are you going to help me with these goons?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, turning to see Red Hood leaning casually against the doorframe, his helmet tilted slightly as if amused by your daze. You cursed inwardly—first Nightwing, now Red Hood. How many of Gotham’s vigilantes were going to show up tonight?

“You’re here too?” you asked, exasperated.

“Yeah, and lucky for you. Looks like you could use the backup,”

Red Hood quipped, pushing off the doorframe and stepping into the room. “Now, are we gonna take these guys down, or do you need a minute to process whatever conspiracy theories you’re cooking up?”

You shot him a glare but nodded. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Red Hood grinned beneath his helmet, drawing his guns. “Hell yeah.”

a/n: guys, asks r open :3 I wanna write more for my boysss 🫶😔 (no cursed shit plz)

thoughts on saitama with an airhead lover?

um fucking awesome 🗣️🗣️🚨 omg I need more opm content!! Forgive me if this was not what u wanted 🗣️☝️ but I love comedy

PERMANENT IMPRESSIONS | Saitama x Gn!Airhead!Reader

Saitama stretched lazily on the couch, flipping through channels with a disinterested expression. His usual routine of hero work and mundane errands had left him feeling particularly bored today. Just as he was about to settle on a nature documentary, the front door swung open, and his lover, You bounded in with an exuberant grin.

“Saitama! Guess what I did today!” You exclaimed, bouncing on your toes.

Saitama raised an eyebrow, already bracing himself for whatever unpredictable adventure you had embarked on this time. “What did you do?”

You rolled up your sleeve to reveal a fresh tattoo of a mosquito on your forearm. Saitama’s eyes widened slightly as he took in the detailed design.

“A mosquito?” he asked, puzzled.

“Yeah! I got it to spite you,” You said proudly. “Remember that one mosquito you couldn’t kill? Well, now you have to look at it every day!”

Saitama sighed deeply, shaking his head. “You really went and got a tattoo of a mosquito just for that?”

“Absolutely,” they replied, beaming. “Isn’t it hilarious?”

Saitama rubbed his temples. “You do realize tattoos are permanent, right?”

You shrugged, unfazed. “Yeah, but it’s funny. Plus, it’s just one little tattoo.”

The next day, Saitama came home to find you with yet another new tattoo. This time, it was an intricate design of a robot on their upper arm.

“Let me guess,” Saitama said, dropping his grocery bags on the counter. “You got that because you think Genos is cool?”

“Exactly!” You said, eyes sparkling with excitement. “He’s so awesome with all his gadgets and stuff. I wanted to honor that.”

Saitama sighed, feeling a mix of amusement and exasperation. “You know you don’t need to get tattoos to show admiration, right?”

“But it looks so cool!” you protested, flexing your arm to show off the robot.

Days later, Saitama was unsurprised but still slightly dismayed when you revealed yet another new addition. This time, it was a large cross on your back.

“Why a cross?” Saitama asked, genuinely curious.

“It looks badass, doesn’t it?” you said, twirling to give him a full view. “I saw this design in a magazine and thought it would make me look tough.”

Saitama nodded slowly. “I guess it does look pretty cool. But are you sure you’re not going overboard with these tattoos?”

“No way!” You replied confidently. “I’m just getting started.”

A week later, Saitama walked into the living room to find you looking unusually sheepish.

“Saitama,” they began hesitantly, “I… might have made a mistake this time.”

Saitama raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “What happened?”

With a deep breath, you rolled up their sleeve to reveal a small, crude tattoo of a penis on your arm.

Saitama stared at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. “What in the world were you thinking?”

“I didn’t notice it when the artist was showing me the design,” you admitted, cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I thought it was just a random doodle.”

Saitama wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. “You really need to start paying more attention before getting these done.”

“I know, I know,” they groaned. “I’m going to get it covered up as soon as possible.”

Saitama’s laughter died down, and he placed a reassuring hand on their shoulder. “You know, despite all the crazy things you do, I still love you.”

You looked up at him, their embarrassment fading. “Really?”

“Really,” Saitama confirmed with a smile. “But seriously, no more impulse tattoos.”

They nodded earnestly. “Okay, okay, lesson learned. No more impulse tattoos.”

“Yup.”

“But, what about an egg on my butt for a tattoo?”

“[Name].”

Tagged by @shiny-jr (ty for choosing me!! BROSKI)

favorite color? greennnnn 💚 I love shrek, zoro, dinos, and jade so r u surprised? ✨😼

last song? Taking what’s not yours - tv girl!! Ik ppl call tv girl trash by my music taste would be considered “virgin” 😭 so yeah. Ex: weezer, Radiohead, defttones, megadeth etc. if u like em I like u 😊🫶

currently watching? Uhhh I just started rewatching hxh with cousin but besides that breaking bad and I’m going to watch daredevil soon. So maybe you’ll see talk about that soon.

currently craving? nothing right now. But I want breakfast so maybe potato pancakes and/or bacon burger thingy from Burger King. Sorry chat, I’m a fatass confirmed.✅

coffee or tea? ok y’all will hate me but probably coffee. BUTT I’m not a big fan of either coffee makes me shit and burns my tongue and I have history with tea 🍵 sooo orange juice gang :>

tagging: @corvinafeathers, @twolitwicksinatrenchcoat, @thelittleprincz, @hinami-abcde, @damnbigguy :3 plz do it guys!!!

​༉‧₊˚.​ get to know me better !! ♡

— 𝜗𝜚 thank u @cosmiiwrites nd @queenofmistresses for the tags, my lovies <3 i love u both

favorite color? pink!! i love pink!! you know the colour of hello kitty’s bow? pink!! my melo? pink!! my socks rn? pink!! did i mention my favourite colour is pink?

last song? someday - from the zombies soundtrack (banger)

currently reading? i finished the hurricane wars by thea guanzon a few days ago so im using this as an excuse to tell you to read it n i loved it so much but im currently starting (only a chapter in) a feather so black by lyra selene

currently watching? i don’t think i am watching anything… i last watched the zombies movies though… (im not obsessed you are)

currently craving? NOODS ugh i could demolish some noodles rn

coffee or tea? yes.

@nebulacrumbs @blooming-crimson-flower @hellsgreatestslut @lilsleepybear1029 @ustulia tag you’re it <3