It's Weird I Went For Binging Like Crazy To Actually Being Able To Starve Myself With Having The Urge

it's weird I went for binging like crazy to actually being able to starve myself with having the urge to eat everything in site

it's been about a week and I've only eaten 470 in total these past 7 days

I keep alternating between starving myself one day and then eating very low cal foods the next and so on

I thought I would feel a lot more hungrier but I don't?

weird.

I don't know why I'm crying

I bought new razors and the guilt of hiding them from my roommate is getting to me

it’s like I know they’re there but they don’t

and that somehow makes me feel worse

they think that I’m doing better

how do I tell them that I’m not?

okay ik I said I hate eating but I literally just took the FATTEST shit for the first time in like a week😳 I feel sm better now lmao

maybe my ed isnt about getting skinnier, maybe it’s about looking as sick as possible so people around me would get worried and start caring about me

I genuinely believe that no one can ever love me for me and that really hurts

I just want to be loved as deeply as I love others