I Feel Weird - Tumblr Posts
ok FIRST LET ME SAY : @bratsims I’M SORRY!!! this was NOt intended but i made over the Bheeda fam and played with genetics and suDDENly this dude popped up and i was like “ huh he kinda looks like matty ...” AND THEN i couldn't resist and put matty things on him and now he kinda looks like him and i just felt the need to share this wichu .....
obvi matty is a whole other league of pretty but like .... he reminds me of him... a lot
If you don't like this I’ll take it down immediately !!!!!
Aquarius
Its always baffled me how a sign can be ruled by both the planet of restriction and responsibility(Saturn) and the planet of freedom, liberation and revolution(Uranus). It seemed to contrast one another far too much to even make sense but I’m turning 18 soon, and everyone keeps asking me what I’m planning on doing with my new found ‘freedom’. I didn’t consider myself to be all that caged in at all until now and the more I think about it, you are always free.
There will always be a decision. It can even be between life or death. You still have a choice in that, but what you are not free of, is the consequence of that choice. That’s how Saturn and Uranus come together in Aquarius. Being free is a massive responsibility if you want to ‘stay’ free. Example: You are free to keep littering and destroying the earth all you want but then you will have to deal with the consequence of that choice at a later date. A later date where the freedom to do so has been removed from you entirely because it can no longer be sustained.
Both Saturn and Uranus understand that time is of the essence, they both want change. Saturn provides the structure and sustainability that Uranus requires to be free.
it's weird I went for binging like crazy to actually being able to starve myself with having the urge to eat everything in site
it's been about a week and I've only eaten 470 in total these past 7 days
I keep alternating between starving myself one day and then eating very low cal foods the next and so on
I thought I would feel a lot more hungrier but I don't?
weird.
I hate every part of me
my face
my back
my arms
my legs
my stomach
my feet
I look in the mirror nowadays and can't even recognize who I used to be
I'm a stranger in my own body
I don't know why I'm crying
it hurts a lot
Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente
I genuinely believe that no one can ever love me for me and that really hurts
I just want to be loved as deeply as I love others
why can't you take the fucking hint that I don't wanna be here any longer?
I don't know what more to say or do to make you worry.
okay ik I said I hate eating but I literally just took the FATTEST shit for the first time in like a week😳 I feel sm better now lmao
you’d think I’d run out of tears by now
does anyone else hold off their bodily functions until they accomplish something?
like earlier I held my pee in for almost 2 hours until I finished my math homework
I bought new razors and the guilt of hiding them from my roommate is getting to me
it’s like I know they’re there but they don’t
and that somehow makes me feel worse
they think that I’m doing better
how do I tell them that I’m not?
I just need a month
A month to just fucking lose myself
A month of not being able to get out of bed
A month of not taking care of myself
A month of barely eating
A month of no responsibilities
A month of SH
A month of substance abuse
A month please
And then I’ll get my shit together
I promise
I am in a constant state of mourning
sleep is my only solace
✨🌕✨
guilt consumes me every second I’m awake