I Just Realized He Deleted All Of My Pictures From My Trip To Brazil.

I just realized he deleted all of my pictures from my trip to Brazil.

I am so furious. He tried to erase my history!

I curse him out aloud sometimes. From a memory or a feeling or just general unhappiness.

It's confusing for everyone.

How do I eliminate all thoughts of him?

I still think about him basically every time I get a quiet moment: in a fitting room, at a red light, in my office, in the shower.

Recovery is a bitch.

My first post exactly one year and a week ago.  So many things have changed from this time.  But some things remain constant:

I survived.  I’m surviving.

Prologue

I survived you.

I had a successful date. A very successful date.

The woman I've had some successful dates with currently lives in a town adjacent to his home town. Upon fb investigation, some of her friends went to his highschool.

So I'm in a panic of course.

Im going through and blocking any fringe people who may make connections. I stumbled across his Dad's fb, and curiosity got the best of me.

There is a pic of him, his sisters and his dad at a hockey game. He has a beard now. It sort of suits him.

He looks happy. And I have that age old ache in me.

But then I remember that he's probably sitting there complaining about the cold, the food, and the crappy seats his parents made him pay for.

I look a little closer at his eyes and they look the same. He's the same.

I've just blocked his dad and I feel nothing.

My parents are spending their Friday night going through old unlabelled spices and dried herbs in their cupboards and trying to guess what they are based on the smell. They're so pumped when they're certain they've identified one; they may just be having the time of their lives.

This is clearly #relationshipgoals. So I wonder how I grew up seeing my folks who genuinely love and like one another and still ended up in a relationship that nearly killed me.

What went wrong in this brain of mine?