Contrast

Contrast

I knew what was best for all involved when I found out, but a part of me wanted it to be different. 

He lost his mind. He. Lost. His. Mind. I mean, falling to the floor wailing and flailing.  It lasted nearly an hour.

Then he proceeded to bully me.  He told me that he and his mother would fight me for custody so they could put it up for adoption.  That I would be the unfittest of mothers - that I was so fucked up that he would call Children’s Aid to take them away. This was all after he was aware that I had an appointment.  He was just ensuring that I went to it, I suppose.

He didn’t understand my reaction when he told me some weeks later about his friend’s handling of his girlfriend’s unexpected pregnancy.  She was upset as money was tight and they weren’t in a great place for it at the time. Her partner’s reaction?  

“Babe, don’t worry.  We’ll handle it together;  we’ll make it work”   

The worst thing in the world can happen, but the next day the sun will come up. And you will eat your toast. And you will drink your tea.

Rhian Ellis, from After Life  (via koreyan)

Tomorrow the sun rises.

My breath. He used to tell me it smelled bad purely for the satisfaction of knowing that it made me feel uncomfortable. He'd say it right after I brushed my teeth to make me feel as though my rotten insides couldn't be masked. I'm certain he'd give himself points if he could do it when we were in public.

While helping him rebuild his basement, he got angry at me. He threw a 2x4 at me; it hit me in the shin. I have a tiny scar, but the memory has been seared into my brain for eternity.

This is all affecting my ability to perform at work.