Some Symptoms Like To Linger.

Some symptoms like to linger.

Lesson learned: relationships take investment; they're not supposed to hurt like this.

In case, despite the content of my blog, there was any doubt, I would like to state that I am against every kind of abuse whether it is individual or institutional.

I support Black Lives Matter. The abuse, disenfranchisement, and murder of black people at the hands of the police and other institutions has been systematic and widespread. It needs to end. And Canada, if you think you can feel superior because "it's not like that here," your ignorance is only overshadowed by how wrong you are.

There are people with better and more things to say on the subject, so I'm going to do what most of us should do and listen.

If you were ever looking for a place to start:

1. Walks are wonderful - no one you pass knows anything about the purpose of your journey, so you don't need to feel awkward in your 'aloneness'.

2. The movies! It's dark, and you're not supposed to speak anyway. Show up during previews if you're feeling vulnerable.

There are worse things

When I am alone, I think it is the worst. I have to remind myself constantly that no, indeed, it isn’t.

"It's so important that I stay strong through his dark moments. He needs me and I just need to work a little harder next time to make sure he's not unhappy."

“Just how many times did you tell yourself “it’s okay, I can take it” while being aware that the same thing done to anyone else would be cruel and hurtful, but it was different for you, because you were used to it, and that made it okay?”

— And then they call you “too sensitive”. (via furiousgoldfish)

There are lots of accounts online and elsewhere of people experiencing guilt due to a perceived lack of productivity right now.

I have that feeling every day regardless of what I've accomplished. He made sure I never felt comfortable resting; there was always something to do, some task that needed completion immediately after the last one, and some ball I was dropping by sitting on the couch and day dreaming for a few minutes.

This guilt is crippling and so hard to shake. It's a fight to remind yourself that rest, particularly in streessful times or when healing, is not a luxury.

It's a necessity.