I Spend My Days Reading Lots Of Fics Of Jaskier And Geralt, And Some Of My Favoruites Are Where One Of

I spend my days reading lots of fics of Jaskier and Geralt, and some of my favoruites are where one of them is cursed, like to an animal or tiny or back into a child, y’know? And it’s like, this is great trust me, but what about the opposite happening???

Like instead of turning into a child, Jaskier turns into an old man because only moments before a sneaky mage attacks the two, he’s complaining about his back hurting, and after the spell is cast and the mage is down, Geralt turns to see this old wrinkled man where Jaskier was. Geralt has seen a lot so he’s pretty confident this frail old guy is Jaskier, but when he tries to ask, Jaskier cups his ear and yells “What??? I can’t hear you, speak louder” in that iconic old person voice and Geralt just feels it deep in his bones that this is gonna be a long trip.

Or instead of turning tiny, Geralt finally beats down this annoying little mage who totally hit Jaskier “by accident” and it only makes itself known after the mage is dealt with, or rather Jaskier has made himself know because he grows so big that he’s like cramped in the mages tiny house, and Geralt looks up at him and Jaskier is trying not to break the beams holding the poor cottage together.

I’d just like to think about old Jaskier telling made up stories and being old and slow with a pack of sass cause he’s wise and about how giant Jaskier is totally taller than some trees and is nervous around people and roach because he doesn’t want to step on them accidentally.

And then there’s that one fella who says he talked to the Witcher’s and pshh, of course it’s fake right? But noooo, he keeps talking about it, and comes up with more scary spooky stories of talking to the Witcher’s, and it comes to a point where everyone just kinda,,, starts believing it? This kid is named Jaskier by the way, says he speaks for the Witcher’s, apparently they’d like more animals outside to greet them, maybe a little snacks left out, but his favourite is the Witcher with white hair, has a rumour going around he’s his boyfriend. Wild right?

I happened to be looking for/listening to a bunch of spooky late-night road trip tales around the time some Modern AU Geralt posts were floating around, and thinking about how headlights make everything look creepy. Modern AU where everything is the same, except your aunt’s neighbor swears she saw a Witcher on a 2 AM long haul once, stumbling out of the bog by the road. Meanwhile, if you work at a Denny’s or other late-night diners, Witcher sightings are a regular thing.

i spent far too long on this joke

Okay this is a weird thought, but like. Do you think Geralt can like speak backwards? Hear me out okay, just listen

He’s been around for a long time, right? Sure when we meet him he doesn’t talk that much but he still has a past man, a mans gotta know language in order to speak to people. I’m someone who likes to think Geralt, and the rest of the Witcher’s, are really educated. Not only monster nerds, but also smooth with words when they wanna be y’know?

I can’t help but think that Geralt and Eskel totally learn to speak backwards. I don’t know why, but I honestly think it would be hella cool.

Jaskier like comes along and starts traveling with Geralt and maybe they go to Oxenfurt and they drink and have a good time and Geralt is taking a drink of his ale and is feeling a bit of a buzz when Jaskier asks “so is there anything you can do other than witchery stuff” and Geralt takes a moment to think before saying something backwards and Jaskier. just. stares.

Huh?? Geralt like smiles a little and hides it behind his ale while Jaskier just takes a moment, because what the fuck, Geralt. What was that.

merman!Geralt and Siren!Jaskier!! i was practicing in procreate and am very proud of how it turned out!!

@jaskiersvalley inspired me to break out of the art block and make Geralt a 20 ft behemoth 

You know it’s real when he laughs at your dumb jokes