Along With The Other Aus And Headcanons I Talk About On Here, Wolf Geralt Is Pretty Up There, Or Really

Along with the other au’s and headcanons I talk about on here, Wolf Geralt is pretty up there, or really animal transformations but that’s for another day. What I’m kinda gonna go off is this series which is about Geralt getting cursed and when his medallion comes off he becomes a wolf, very lovely series please go check it out and hand out kudos to the writer.

Anyways, my headcanons tonight are about wolf Geralt and how hilarious it would be. I always see funny dog videos uhhh everywhere, and I love to think like “that’s him. That’s Geralt as a wolf” because it’s hilarious and only him as a brooding man would do that in a wolf form.

Here, picture Jaskier and Geralt walking, both on either side of roach when they pass a field that’s open, and Geralt stops roach and Jaskier stops a few steps ahead because uhh, why would Geralt stop? He looks back to see the Witcher staring at the field with determination before whipping around and staring him dead in the eye. Jaskier questions before being handed a medallion and soon seeing this giant white wolf zoom into the field. The field is long enough so the wolf has to hop, and Jaskier is laughing and watching as Geralt has his fun.

Or like Wolf Geralt getting the zoomies? It takes place mostly at Kaer Morhen, where Geralt can relax and his brothers actually play with him in this wolf form. Him and Lambert are playing around, rolling around on each other before Geralt hops up and shoots off. Lambert is laughing hard he’s breathless, Eskel and Jaskier just walked in and in question before they see the White Wolf barreling his way through the hallway only to snap back around and race off. Jaskier starts to laugh and Eskel totally cheers him on which only makes him last longer. (Don’t even get me started on the poop zoomies)

Now I have a dog of my own, he’s adorable but he can be sassy as hell, idk if other dogs do this, but mine will give me serious side eye action and when laying out, will kick his back legs on whoever they land on, and it’s funny to think of Geralt doing that too. Him stretching out in the giant pile they all made by a fire one night, and his back legs end up on Jaskier and while stretching out he just kicks the shit out of Jaskier who’s trying to sleep and when Jaskier tries to stop, he earns a groan from the wolf and serious side eye business. Jaskier says he totally stinks of attitude and puppy breath but gets kicked again.

One last one for the road, but the dogs (mainly huskeys) who yell and don’t really bark? Geralt. Totally. When Jaskier is trying to get onto Geralt for spilling something zooming around, Geralt starts to yell, and doesn’t stop. Everyone hates it, because he’s loud and knows it. But they totally get him back for it. See, when it first started, Eskel had enough and let out one of the fake howls you do to get a puppy to do that cute “awoooo” sound, and it gets Geralt to stop and do the head tilt before immediately joining in. Eskel, Lambert, Jaskier and Vesemir find it funny as hell, but Geralt says he hates it because he can’t really control it.

It’s called fashion, look it up. 

Eskel by olivegbg

so i'm bored and a biochemist and decided to tackle the "witchers can smell arousal" thing lmao

"but but but! it would just smell like sex!" No! Boring. I imagine this to be like cadaver dogs able to pick out cadaverine specifically and not just smelling death

so I decided that it would be the amino acid l-citrulline. this is a naturally occuring amino acid that DOES act on arousal in humans- both in creating physical changes (like directing bloodflow) and neurochemically (ie emotionally... though to a lesser effect than other neurochemicals involved in sex)

"But what does l-citrulline smell like" you may find yourself asking! don't know! I'm a measly human and cannot smell a chemical

HOWEVER considering witchers aren't like trained to identify specific chemical scents, they wouldn't know either! "so how is this helpful" you're asking yourself!

L-citrulline is found in high quantities in watermelon. (the latin name for watermelon is where l-citrulline get's it's name!) So the witchers would smell arousal and smell watermelon and therefore associate the two with each other

TL;DR arousal would smell like watermelon to witchers

If it’s not much to ask, id love to hear from some of you about your ideas, or some headcanons I can build off of, I think it would be interesting. I am still a little new to tumblr(surprisingly) so if you can’t send anything through please let me know and I’ll try to figure it out? Thank you, though!

So I’m a big fan of transformers, the movies are amazing, the action is killer, I hyper-fixate every time I watch the movies.

So I brought you all hear for an au idea, Transformers and the Witcher. At first? I thought of Optimus Prime being like Vesemir, and the rest like the wolves. Be hella cool. But hear me out okay?

Geralt is the guy who contacts the first Atuobots, and her name is Roach. I do want to stick to Optimus Prime being like Vesemir because I think that would be really cool.

Maybe some backstory is Geralt, Eskel and Lambert run a car shop, all three end up meeting Roach. We also get to meet Scorpion who takes Eskel’s side, and then Storm, who’s stubborn enough to take Lambert.

I do want Yennefer, Ciri and Jaskier to be there. Yennefer is a federal Agent who works with the Autobots, getting top secret files to the next big guy, her and Geralt had a fling a while back but decided to keep it friendly. Ciri is Geralt’s goddaughter, who stays with Geralt, Eskel and Lambert along with Roach, Scorpian and Storm, trust me they all swore to keep that kid safe no mater what. Jaskier? Jaskier is Yennefer’s partner. New and young, good with words and good with getting them into situations Yennefer wants.

Jaskier’s first meeting with Geralt, his brothers and the transformers, goes pleasently well. Scorpian loves him, he’s funny, Storm doesn’t like him and Roach doesn’t seem to care. What they don’t know, and soon figure out, is that Jaskier first found Prime and that even though Prime drives mostly himself, he has a soft spot for Jaskier. It’s funny because when they first meet, Jaskier pats the hood and smiles, saying “he likes to be called Vesemir” Geralt, Eskel and Lambert have a new appreciation towards Jaksier, the cars opinions doesn’t change but Roach learns to warm up to him.

During this time, Jaskier and Geralt warm up to each other nicely ;) dates and possibly a little more, but they are absolutely badass working together with the Autobots. I think it’s a silly but cute idea, and I’m absolutely going to forever think about this idea.