I Feel Bad For Existing

“I feel bad for existing”

— Thoughts I’ll never speak out loud

"Attachments were for addicts. People who craved the presence of others, for people who couldn’t even deal with themselves. Attachments were for people who couldn’t grasp control. Couldn’t tell their feelings to just fuck off, to just swallow them down like acidic poison, because that was the better option. That was the way to survive."

from -Dried Flower Leaves- by amourgcf

It’s sad when you fundamentally to your very core hate yourself as a human being.

Nothing makes you stop wishing you didn’t exist.

You believe that you don’t deserve to take up any space.

You try your hardest to make yourself as invisible as possible.

I don’t know if I will ever allow myself to believe that I belong here and that I matter.

Excerpts from a book I’ll never write // fundamental beliefs

Sometimes I just sigh in relief that I don't get to be with the people that I badly want to be with because I think about the destructive trainwreck I am and I'm thankful they've been saved from me.