Sometimes I Just Sigh In Relief That I Don't Get To Be With The People That I Badly Want To Be With Because

Sometimes I just sigh in relief that I don't get to be with the people that I badly want to be with because I think about the destructive trainwreck I am and I'm thankful they've been saved from me.

The worst crying is when you’re lying in bed, with your hand over your mouth so you don’t make a noise. The tears are running onto your pillow and your heart‘s breaking and you’re thinking of everything that made you cry, and your other hand is on your heart or stomach because they both hurt.

"I hate you".

Thanks I hate myself too.

"You're so fucking annoying".

Sorry I got carried away with my excitement.

"It's none of your god damn business".

Sorry I didn't mean to care.

"I wish you're gone".

Me too.

"You don't deserve any of this".

I know I don't and I'm always feeling guilty about having it.

"You're so dramatic".

I'm sorry that I'm tired of hiding my feelings but I'll make sure to hide them again.

"Shut up".

Don't worry, I hate it when I talk too and if i could control it, I wouldn't utter a word.

"You're so fucking dumb".

I know...

"You're fake".

Because the real me is much worse than the fake me.

"You're so fucking sensitive".

I try to keep it to myself but its so hard sometimes.

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and thought “why would anyone ever love me?” 

My self esteem is so low it reached hell and made Satan sad