Part 2 Will Be Out Tomorrow, And There Will Be More Than 2 Parts.

Part 2 will be out tomorrow, and there will be more than 2 parts.

Knowing is Safe

984 words

Fandom: Redacted asmr

Couple: Geordi/Cutie

Takes place during the newest Geordi audio(Your boyfriend asks for your trust) So spoilers for that video. It is what I imagine Cutie says and thinks. I plan on doing another part. All of Geordi's lines arent mine I just typed out what was said in the audio.

Words indented like this are Cuties thoughts

Trigger warning: Unhealthy parenting, Implied eating problems, argument, non-consensual mind reading.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

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Past

“Repeat after mom, Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Good. I know I've given you this talk before, but you still haven't learned. We were given this ability, to protect ourselves, and the ones we love. Others believe we just listen in, that our ability is simple. It's not, we are inspectors, we tune into a brain, and we will know all we need, including who wants to hurt us.”

This is stupid, it's just re-

“No”

You looked up at your mom, confused.

“You said you 'd stop reading my mind without asking.”

“I know but as I said, telepathic powers are to protect us. As your mom, I need to be in your mind, as much as possible, to protect you. whether you want me in there or not. Do you understand sweetie?”

You nod, whispering yes in your head. Your mother preferred thoughts over words, she says that they're pure.

Present

“You didn't always have powers, you lived your whole childhood without them, without hearing anyone's thoughts. You were raised in a house where people had magic and you didn't, not at first, not until you were old enough. Didn't that ever make you feel vulnerable, different?”

“All the time, I never had a moment to myself, she was always in my head. But it was a good thing, she always knew when I needed help, and I never had to tell her anything. It was a good thing, that's what she taught me, she protected me, and that's what I want to do for you. I just want to always know you're ok and safe. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I can't.”

“Okay.”

 The oven goes off, and before you can ask Geordi, refuses the food.

“I think I'm going to sleep.”

Your mouth opens but shuts when Geordi specks.

“ Because I'm tired and you don't seem to have much to say anyway, so maybe sleep will  help clear my head a bit”

“Ok, ill- ill sleep on the couch toni-”

"No, I don't want to sleep separately tonight I'm upset but that doesn't mean I want you gone, it's our bedroom, it's our bed, both of us just because, just because I'm hurt doesn't change that. Good night."

And he's gone, leaving you alone, with your thoughts, something you've never been used to. You look down at the dinner he made, letting your thoughts take over.

I can't eat.

but he made it for you.

That was before you hurt him.

But he still loves you.

But he didn't say it.

But he does.

How do you know?

He still wants them.

To use them.

No, he loves them.

Or he's just not cruel enough to kick you out this late.

He loves them.

No h-

Stop, theyre not breathing.

Shit!

breath.

Breath.

Breath.

Good, keep breathing.

Eat, you forgot to pack lunch.

No cant, not hungry.

That's a lie.

Don't want to, not worth it.

Then go to bed.

What bed?

Your bed.

Yours and Geordi's bed.

Not ours anymore.

He said-

Shut up, why am I such a mess, my thoughts aren't like this, there organized.

You love him.

That's not an answer.

Your worried.

Worried, of course I'm worried, I'm always worried about him. He doesn't let me in, and I can't keep him safe from outside.

He doesn't need your protection.

He doesn't need you.

Your worried about losing him.

I'm always afraid of that, nothing in the world is trustworthy.

You worried he'll leave.

You shake your head and decide you need rest. You walk to the couch when you remember that he wants you in his room.

It's your room to.

You hesitantly walk to your bedroom, then back to the kitchen, then back again. You repeat to yourself to breathe as you open the door, you take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent of your partner calm you. 

"Geordi? Are you asl-"

"No, I'm not asleep yet."

You take a few steps, towards the bed, looking at Geordi’s back, so stiff, so uncomfortable, you want him to relax, be happy.

Maybe massage would help.

You think he wants you touching him?

What about snuggling?

Even worse, you'd smother him.

You already do.

I didn't mean to. 

Doesn't matter, he hates you.

He doesn't hate you, he loves you.

How would you know?

Say it, if he says it back-

Then he's just being nice.

no - he's not like that, he tells the truth.

He didn't at the pool party.

You didn't give him the chance.

Shut up. Just say it.

"Geordi? I um I love..."

Come on finish the sentence.

What do you love? Breaking his boundaries?

No.

Then why do you do it.

"I love you to"

See they love you

He's lying.

No, he not.

Check then.

No don't, that'll make things worse.

Only because you'll know the truth, that he doesn't love you and he's disgusted by you.

You enter Geordi’s thoughts, just to get away from your own, but you regret it. He's fighting with himself. Your heart breaks more, he doesn't know if he loves you, and worst you know he has every right to question his love. Even when you leave his thoughts, your thoughts repeat as your back is facing him, but not touching.

“Maybe trying isn't enough”

It isn't.

Then just stop.

Stop trying?

No.

Yes.

Just stop trying and start succeeding.

What?

Don't enter his mind, ever

ever?

Ever. not even if he says it's okay.

But what about his safety?

He’ll still be safe.

But why?

To make him happy.

 But I'll be miserable.

And paranoid.

But he’ll be happy.

He's been hinting at this.

When?

He said you're too used to being in people's minds, so stop.

But that's my job.

Then stop doing it outside your job.

You need the break anyways.

You'll have more energy for work.

There are no cons.

 Okay.

Then it's settled, this power is only for work.

Fyi, chapter 3 of Knowing is safe is either going to be pretty long or just a flashback and then another chapter. Because time writing the past part and it 3 pages long already.

WIP Wednesday

this is my fake dating story with Lasko/Gavin

Zen is the name I've given the Laskos ex

there are SO many mistakes so be prepared.

" Lasko what is this empty section, I told you I to fill my schedule as much as po-Gavin"

"Damien.”

Gsvin greets the fracnitc confused fire element before he turned back to lasko. kissing the back of laskos hand before saying goodbye to the both of them

“ it seems my time with you is over, for now. I hope you start feeling better, night sweets. Damien, good luck with your schedule, but dont over worl your self.”

And then he was gone.

Lasko moves back to his deck, trying to move past what just happened and act like nothing happened

“ i-so I put a space in your- um schedule because well- you need it but also the timing of the classes were unreasnabel- impossible, you - no one would be able to make it across the campas like needed in thast time.so i decided that it would be best to giv-

“ what the fuck was that lasko?”

“Oh it was - its nothing- not important. So do you still want me to - to fix you-”

“ lasko dont - dont fucking lie to me, what was gavin doing here, and the kiss?”

“ ok- so “

Damian gave Lasko a look telling him not to try lying again

“Gavin and I have decided to be in fake a relationship with  each other.”

“Lasko”

“I suggested it, I've mentioned umm zen to you before, he cheated on me, left me, and -I wanted to make him jealous.”

“God Lasko, how stupid- “

Damien stopped, realizing now wasn't the time to use harsh words

“I don't think that's wise Lasko.”

“Whys that? I know I act like- like a shy nerd but I deserve revenge, don't you thi-”

“ of course I do, but this isn't the way”

“Why not?!”

“ because you'll just get hurt”

“ no, I won't it's fake I'll be fi-”

“ Lasko, I've seen it, you fall in love when someone looks at you. When Gavin starts giving you all that attention you're going to fall for him, hard. And you'll start to think that he feels the same because your in this fake relationship. And when you confess, he's going to reject you, and you'll be heartbroken, inconsolable.”

“That's not true”

Damien sighed knowing there was nothing he could say to stop Lasko's plan.

WIP Wednesday

I'm trying to be more productive, so I'm going to post one of these every week. Today's is a small section from "Knowing is Safe" Part 3. It's a flashback of cutie's past.

Trigger warning for anxiety, paranoia, emotionally abusive parent, neglectful parent.

Shes not going to 

She did last time

And the time before that

And the time before that

And all the other times

She's tired of it

But she threw us out

It's not our fault

Yes it is

We blocked her

We stopped her from reading our mide

Stopped her from protecting us

But I don't want her to continually be in my mind

I want privacy

I want to feel like I can

Think without being heard

Be myself

You can

Not with her in here

she s your mom

But it hurts

What was that?

A twig

Snapping

A person

Where

I can't see

It's too dark

I'm scared

I want mom

“MOM! MOM SOMEONE IS OUT HERE. PLEASE LET ME IN. I'M SORRY I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.”

“THAT'S WHAT YOUR SISTER SAID AND WHERE IS SHE NOW?” Your sister

She's safe

She taught us how to block mom

She did this

No, she helped us

She can help again 

You stop knocking on the door and start walking away. Away from home, away from your mom. You walked the streets in the dark, with no phone no flashlight, just the clothes on your back. Summer clothes.

Its cold

I know

I wish we had a jacket

Is this the street?

Yes

You turn down the street, wishing you were wearing warmer, longer clothes. When you picked out this outfit you didn't think you'd end up out this late, in the cold. 

People

Bad

Its a group

Brown bags

Liquor

Eyes down

Keep walking

What do I do if they approach

I don't know

No weapon

Just our hands and feet

Keep walking

Keep walking

Speed up

Door

Inside

Sister

Safe

You open the door to the building your sister lives in quickly rushing to her apartments, even though no one was following you. You hoped you remembered correctly the first and only time you were here. Tears from earlier sprung back to life as you frantically knock on the door. Deja Vu from minutes ago, days ago, and weeks ago flood your mind as you recall all the time you were at your house door, begging, crying screaming for your mother to open the door. Today was the worst of it, shed never lock you out for this long, or this late, your knuckles were never this red and your voice was never this hurt. 

Yall please interact with the fic post, I'm loving the interaction on the reblog but, please interact with the actual fic

just wrote a Darlin/Huxley fic, it's so cute, all I need to do is edit it. it so fucking soft, and 100% for hopeless romantics

Part 2 will be out tomorrow, and there will be more than 2 parts.

Im writing the second part of "knowing is safe" and it's mostly cutie being paranoid and gosh is it hurting my brain writing it.