WIP Wednesday

WIP Wednesday

I'm trying to be more productive, so I'm going to post one of these every week. Today's is a small section from "Knowing is Safe" Part 3. It's a flashback of cutie's past.

Trigger warning for anxiety, paranoia, emotionally abusive parent, neglectful parent.

Shes not going to 

She did last time

And the time before that

And the time before that

And all the other times

She's tired of it

But she threw us out

It's not our fault

Yes it is

We blocked her

We stopped her from reading our mide

Stopped her from protecting us

But I don't want her to continually be in my mind

I want privacy

I want to feel like I can

Think without being heard

Be myself

You can

Not with her in here

she s your mom

But it hurts

What was that?

A twig

Snapping

A person

Where

I can't see

It's too dark

I'm scared

I want mom

“MOM! MOM SOMEONE IS OUT HERE. PLEASE LET ME IN. I'M SORRY I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.”

“THAT'S WHAT YOUR SISTER SAID AND WHERE IS SHE NOW?” Your sister

She's safe

She taught us how to block mom

She did this

No, she helped us

She can help again 

You stop knocking on the door and start walking away. Away from home, away from your mom. You walked the streets in the dark, with no phone no flashlight, just the clothes on your back. Summer clothes.

Its cold

I know

I wish we had a jacket

Is this the street?

Yes

You turn down the street, wishing you were wearing warmer, longer clothes. When you picked out this outfit you didn't think you'd end up out this late, in the cold. 

People

Bad

Its a group

Brown bags

Liquor

Eyes down

Keep walking

What do I do if they approach

I don't know

No weapon

Just our hands and feet

Keep walking

Keep walking

Speed up

Door

Inside

Sister

Safe

You open the door to the building your sister lives in quickly rushing to her apartments, even though no one was following you. You hoped you remembered correctly the first and only time you were here. Tears from earlier sprung back to life as you frantically knock on the door. Deja Vu from minutes ago, days ago, and weeks ago flood your mind as you recall all the time you were at your house door, begging, crying screaming for your mother to open the door. Today was the worst of it, shed never lock you out for this long, or this late, your knuckles were never this red and your voice was never this hurt. 

A Deal

257  words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr

Couple: None, mentions of Darlin/Quinn and Darlin/Sam

TW/CW: Panic attacks, descriptions of panic like attacks, extream loneliness, very brief moments of self harm( clawing at ones skin)

A/N: this is self-indulgent, it's based on how my separation anxiety feels.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Loneliness was always a part of their life 

It was like they sign a contract, loneliness for strength and reputation

They forgot to read the fine print

They didn't realize the loneliness would always be there

Even when they out with a group

Or when with Quinn

One minute they'd pray he'd leave 

The next, they are clawing at their chest to get the pain of being left alone out of their heart.

When Sam entered their life they thought it would be easier. 

But those nights when they wake, alone. Their heart squeezes like it's pushing all of the blood out, trying to cut itself off from what keeps it working

Just like Darlin’

They know he's at work, they know that

But their chest doesn't get the message as they heave. Words they'd never say to another escaping their lungs. 

Their so desperate to be held by someone

By him

There never thought of themselves as desperate

No one has

That's was the problem

No one thought about the effects they had on Darlin’

Because their strong

Built like a tank

A lone wolf

But they don't want that

They never did

No matter what teenage  Darlin’ did or said

It was an act

A rebellion

A test for the pack

Many failed

But more tired again

And again

And again

Eventually, they let the pack in

But the loneliness they feel in the dark of their room

In the dark of their heart. Is something no one can change

That no one can heal

Bouquet

1079 words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr

Couple: Huxley/Darlin

TW/CW: Implied past toxic relationships ( with a very brief mention of Quinn) Small misunderstanding (It's not a cheat misunderstanding) Requited unrequited love.

Let me know if I missed a TW/CW

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

He was always pretty, but right now, with a bouquet of flowers that almost covers his perfect smile, he's radiant. 

“Um, are you gonna- let me in I mean you don't have to but- uh you kind of- just standing and staring at me.”

You shake your head, Huxley laughs, could he be any cuter? 

“You really are a dog!”

“Oh shut up.”

You step aside, to let him into your apartment. Your eyes linger as he passes by, he's wearing a wrestling tee, he loves shirts that show off his muscles, and so do you. He’s a big guy, tall and strong, but he's so soft. 

You close the door, leaning against it.

It still surprises you.

Surprises you that he doesn't use his strength against you. In the beginning, you waited for him to stop pretending to be this soft loving man but every day he proved you wrong. You've got tired of flinching when he moves too quickly, tired of questioning what his true intentions are, tired of waiting for the moment he overpowers you, tired of not letting him in.

You watch as he calmly looks through your cabinets for a vase. A smile creeps up your face as you realize your anxiety is gone. Not completely but you don't have the urge to stop him, afraid that knowing your kitchen cabinets will be too much, that it would bring him closer. You laugh at how stupid it sounds now.

“ What- did- did I do something wrong- oh you don't like people searching your place- sorry dude- I was um looking for a vase. What?!- Don't laugh harder, what's so funny?”

You push off the door as you walk toward him.

“It's nothing, ignore it.”

His face scrunches into a pout, god you want to kiss him. 

“I don't have a vase. So what and who are the flowers for? Did you finally get a date?” Your question hurts you. The two of you have something, you think. There's been flirting and hand holding, you feel like a teen, blushing over the memories of holding his hand. Though that's all, Huxleys is just- friendly, it's nothing, he was comforting you. Or that's what you thought but the way his face fell when you teased him, maybe you were wrong, maybe you ruined it.

“I- there for you.”

He holds out the bouquet to you, but his head is bowed down in shame, but you can see his face darken with blush. 

“ What?”

You laugh out loud. That only makes it worse, he pulls them back. Turns his head away.

“Sorry- I must- I guess I miss understood, Um I'll -I'll just leave- with the flowers.”

He turns the rest of his body walking away.

“Huxs- wait- I- I'm sorry.”

“You don't need to be, you shouldn't be sorry for not - sharing my feelings. I know others make you feel- like you were wrong for that- but I'm not- I want you to be with who you love- or like- and if that's, not me I get it. Take care.”

“You like me?”

He finally turns to face you again, you hate how sorrowful he looks.

“ Yes, I thought- I thought that was obvious- the flirting–”

Once again you were surprised at how different he was, even know he doesn't lash out, you almost wish he did you were used to that. You knew how to deal with that.

“The hand holding”

He clears his throat, shocked you finished his sentence

“Hux’s, I thought that was just what you were like, with everyone. I mean why would you treat me differently, in a good way? I assumed you treated all your friends like that.”

He huffs, but not with anger but like a small laugh.

“ I've never flirted with someone before, and I don't go around holding people's hands- I - I only do that with people I like- romantically- I only do those things with you.”

The two of you stay still, staring at each other, taking in the moment. You can't imagine anything ever being more perfect. It makes you want to cry, but you don't.

“I like you to.”

The words quietly fall from your mouth and you don't know what you want more, for him not to hear you or for him to hear you. The words flutter to his ears and you can see the moment he registers what you say, as his face lights back up, with that smile you wish you could frame in your heart.

He slowly starts to move closer, and you panic, letting yourself ramble.

“I do- I'm sorry I was- like giving a mixed signal- I'm just- I've never been with someone so - soft- someone who waits- they've always been like straightforward- that too nice- they've always been kind of forceful so I thought- you know that's how everyone does it-”

Your words freeze when he gets right up to you, setting the flowers on the counter before his hand gently takes yours, his other hand moves, landing on your chin.

“ Darlin- Can I kiss you?”

Your heart skips a beat, but it's unfamiliar, you were used to your heart jumping out of fear. This wasn't fear, this was excitement, at that name, that question. It was the first time you heard either.

“Yes.”

You thought he looked soft, but you couldn't even describe what his lips felt like, how his body felt better than your bed. This is it, the kiss you read about when you were 10, in those fairy tales. The kiss you tried to pretend Quinn could give you. It feels stupid to cry but you do, you let the few tears slide down your face.

Huxley pulls away, and his hand reaches your cheek, wiping it away.

“ You okay?”

His voice is quiet, and like the rest of him, soft. You look into his eyes, and for once you're not afraid to cry, because it's him, and you trust him.

“I’ve never gotten flowers. Thank you.”

“No problem dude, you're my friend. You deserve flowers.” You blinked at Huxley, you didn't have to use words for Hux to realize why you were looking at him with a raised eyebrow

“Oh- well I didn't- your not just a friend- I just- I didn't wanna break a boundary, y’know?”

You can't help yourself from kissing his sorry face.

“I know Hux. But don't call me dude or friend again.”

“You got it, Darlin.”

It is posted and Ummm I'm panicing because one of my favorite redacted writers liked this post, I hope they end up liking the short fic

Please enjoy Bouquet

just wrote a Darlin/Huxley fic, it's so cute, all I need to do is edit it. it so fucking soft, and 100% for hopeless romantics

my next WIP is part 2 of not your partner, so blooming panic fans should be happy

OMG I hit 200 followers recently and I'm so thankful

I feel so bad because of how inactive I am but I love writing for these fandoms my motivation is just not constant so thank you guys for showing,e others enjoy what I write.

I'd love to do some sort of event but I've got no ideas except match-ups so I might do that.

thank you for following and supporting me