A Deal

A Deal

257  words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr

Couple: None, mentions of Darlin/Quinn and Darlin/Sam

TW/CW: Panic attacks, descriptions of panic like attacks, extream loneliness, very brief moments of self harm( clawing at ones skin)

A/N: this is self-indulgent, it's based on how my separation anxiety feels.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Loneliness was always a part of their life 

It was like they sign a contract, loneliness for strength and reputation

They forgot to read the fine print

They didn't realize the loneliness would always be there

Even when they out with a group

Or when with Quinn

One minute they'd pray he'd leave 

The next, they are clawing at their chest to get the pain of being left alone out of their heart.

When Sam entered their life they thought it would be easier. 

But those nights when they wake, alone. Their heart squeezes like it's pushing all of the blood out, trying to cut itself off from what keeps it working

Just like Darlin’

They know he's at work, they know that

But their chest doesn't get the message as they heave. Words they'd never say to another escaping their lungs. 

Their so desperate to be held by someone

By him

There never thought of themselves as desperate

No one has

That's was the problem

No one thought about the effects they had on Darlin’

Because their strong

Built like a tank

A lone wolf

But they don't want that

They never did

No matter what teenage  Darlin’ did or said

It was an act

A rebellion

A test for the pack

Many failed

But more tired again

And again

And again

Eventually, they let the pack in

But the loneliness they feel in the dark of their room

In the dark of their heart. Is something no one can change

That no one can heal

Idea

Ok so fake dating Au. Gavin/Lasko

Recently cheated on Lasko wants to make his ex jealous, but isn't sure how and thinks it's just a fantasy that will never happen

"No relationship" Gavin who decides to help Lasko with his revenge

During this "relationship" Gavin helps build Laskos confidence and Gavin starts to fall for the babbling nerd, Lasko is oblivious

I don't have a lot of time on my hand to write so if this inspires someone, please share. If you want to add or write this story please tag me. id love to see it

Id love to see some angst too. maybe lasko thinks Gavin is playing a sick prank after Gavin confesses. OR Lasko goes back to his toxic ex even after all the warnings from Gavin and others.

WIP Wednesday

this is my fake dating story with Lasko/Gavin

Zen is the name I've given the Laskos ex

there are SO many mistakes so be prepared.

" Lasko what is this empty section, I told you I to fill my schedule as much as po-Gavin"

"Damien.”

Gsvin greets the fracnitc confused fire element before he turned back to lasko. kissing the back of laskos hand before saying goodbye to the both of them

“ it seems my time with you is over, for now. I hope you start feeling better, night sweets. Damien, good luck with your schedule, but dont over worl your self.”

And then he was gone.

Lasko moves back to his deck, trying to move past what just happened and act like nothing happened

“ i-so I put a space in your- um schedule because well- you need it but also the timing of the classes were unreasnabel- impossible, you - no one would be able to make it across the campas like needed in thast time.so i decided that it would be best to giv-

“ what the fuck was that lasko?”

“Oh it was - its nothing- not important. So do you still want me to - to fix you-”

“ lasko dont - dont fucking lie to me, what was gavin doing here, and the kiss?”

“ ok- so “

Damian gave Lasko a look telling him not to try lying again

“Gavin and I have decided to be in fake a relationship with  each other.”

“Lasko”

“I suggested it, I've mentioned umm zen to you before, he cheated on me, left me, and -I wanted to make him jealous.”

“God Lasko, how stupid- “

Damien stopped, realizing now wasn't the time to use harsh words

“I don't think that's wise Lasko.”

“Whys that? I know I act like- like a shy nerd but I deserve revenge, don't you thi-”

“ of course I do, but this isn't the way”

“Why not?!”

“ because you'll just get hurt”

“ no, I won't it's fake I'll be fi-”

“ Lasko, I've seen it, you fall in love when someone looks at you. When Gavin starts giving you all that attention you're going to fall for him, hard. And you'll start to think that he feels the same because your in this fake relationship. And when you confess, he's going to reject you, and you'll be heartbroken, inconsolable.”

“That's not true”

Damien sighed knowing there was nothing he could say to stop Lasko's plan.

Part 2 will be out tomorrow, and there will be more than 2 parts.

Knowing is Safe

984 words

Fandom: Redacted asmr

Couple: Geordi/Cutie

Takes place during the newest Geordi audio(Your boyfriend asks for your trust) So spoilers for that video. It is what I imagine Cutie says and thinks. I plan on doing another part. All of Geordi's lines arent mine I just typed out what was said in the audio.

Words indented like this are Cuties thoughts

Trigger warning: Unhealthy parenting, Implied eating problems, argument, non-consensual mind reading.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Past

“Repeat after mom, Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Good. I know I've given you this talk before, but you still haven't learned. We were given this ability, to protect ourselves, and the ones we love. Others believe we just listen in, that our ability is simple. It's not, we are inspectors, we tune into a brain, and we will know all we need, including who wants to hurt us.”

This is stupid, it's just re-

“No”

You looked up at your mom, confused.

“You said you 'd stop reading my mind without asking.”

“I know but as I said, telepathic powers are to protect us. As your mom, I need to be in your mind, as much as possible, to protect you. whether you want me in there or not. Do you understand sweetie?”

You nod, whispering yes in your head. Your mother preferred thoughts over words, she says that they're pure.

Present

“You didn't always have powers, you lived your whole childhood without them, without hearing anyone's thoughts. You were raised in a house where people had magic and you didn't, not at first, not until you were old enough. Didn't that ever make you feel vulnerable, different?”

“All the time, I never had a moment to myself, she was always in my head. But it was a good thing, she always knew when I needed help, and I never had to tell her anything. It was a good thing, that's what she taught me, she protected me, and that's what I want to do for you. I just want to always know you're ok and safe. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I can't.”

“Okay.”

 The oven goes off, and before you can ask Geordi, refuses the food.

“I think I'm going to sleep.”

Your mouth opens but shuts when Geordi specks.

“ Because I'm tired and you don't seem to have much to say anyway, so maybe sleep will  help clear my head a bit”

“Ok, ill- ill sleep on the couch toni-”

"No, I don't want to sleep separately tonight I'm upset but that doesn't mean I want you gone, it's our bedroom, it's our bed, both of us just because, just because I'm hurt doesn't change that. Good night."

And he's gone, leaving you alone, with your thoughts, something you've never been used to. You look down at the dinner he made, letting your thoughts take over.

I can't eat.

but he made it for you.

That was before you hurt him.

But he still loves you.

But he didn't say it.

But he does.

How do you know?

He still wants them.

To use them.

No, he loves them.

Or he's just not cruel enough to kick you out this late.

He loves them.

No h-

Stop, theyre not breathing.

Shit!

breath.

Breath.

Breath.

Good, keep breathing.

Eat, you forgot to pack lunch.

No cant, not hungry.

That's a lie.

Don't want to, not worth it.

Then go to bed.

What bed?

Your bed.

Yours and Geordi's bed.

Not ours anymore.

He said-

Shut up, why am I such a mess, my thoughts aren't like this, there organized.

You love him.

That's not an answer.

Your worried.

Worried, of course I'm worried, I'm always worried about him. He doesn't let me in, and I can't keep him safe from outside.

He doesn't need your protection.

He doesn't need you.

Your worried about losing him.

I'm always afraid of that, nothing in the world is trustworthy.

You worried he'll leave.

You shake your head and decide you need rest. You walk to the couch when you remember that he wants you in his room.

It's your room to.

You hesitantly walk to your bedroom, then back to the kitchen, then back again. You repeat to yourself to breathe as you open the door, you take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent of your partner calm you. 

"Geordi? Are you asl-"

"No, I'm not asleep yet."

You take a few steps, towards the bed, looking at Geordi’s back, so stiff, so uncomfortable, you want him to relax, be happy.

Maybe massage would help.

You think he wants you touching him?

What about snuggling?

Even worse, you'd smother him.

You already do.

I didn't mean to. 

Doesn't matter, he hates you.

He doesn't hate you, he loves you.

How would you know?

Say it, if he says it back-

Then he's just being nice.

no - he's not like that, he tells the truth.

He didn't at the pool party.

You didn't give him the chance.

Shut up. Just say it.

"Geordi? I um I love..."

Come on finish the sentence.

What do you love? Breaking his boundaries?

No.

Then why do you do it.

"I love you to"

See they love you

He's lying.

No, he not.

Check then.

No don't, that'll make things worse.

Only because you'll know the truth, that he doesn't love you and he's disgusted by you.

You enter Geordi’s thoughts, just to get away from your own, but you regret it. He's fighting with himself. Your heart breaks more, he doesn't know if he loves you, and worst you know he has every right to question his love. Even when you leave his thoughts, your thoughts repeat as your back is facing him, but not touching.

“Maybe trying isn't enough”

It isn't.

Then just stop.

Stop trying?

No.

Yes.

Just stop trying and start succeeding.

What?

Don't enter his mind, ever

ever?

Ever. not even if he says it's okay.

But what about his safety?

He’ll still be safe.

But why?

To make him happy.

 But I'll be miserable.

And paranoid.

But he’ll be happy.

He's been hinting at this.

When?

He said you're too used to being in people's minds, so stop.

But that's my job.

Then stop doing it outside your job.

You need the break anyways.

You'll have more energy for work.

There are no cons.

 Okay.

Then it's settled, this power is only for work.

It is posted and Ummm I'm panicing because one of my favorite redacted writers liked this post, I hope they end up liking the short fic

Please enjoy Bouquet

just wrote a Darlin/Huxley fic, it's so cute, all I need to do is edit it. it so fucking soft, and 100% for hopeless romantics

I have officially decided to become a fanfic commenter

comments are my favorite thing to receive as a writer so I'm sure others will like it

I'm about to spam so many people cause I'm going to go back and comment on stuff I've already read.