Horus: I Like Everything About You.

Horus: I like everything about you.

Horus: The other day, someone asked me who the most beautiful person in my world was.

Horus: You know what I said?

Hathor: What?

Horus: I said-*sees Set watching them in a tree through the window* Set?

Hathor: You said Set?!?

Set:*pulls back curtain while Horus is showering*

Set: Are we–—stop screaming, it’s me——are we out of lettuce?

Hera: you must give this apple to the fairest of us

Athena: make your choice, Paris

Aphrodite: who do you prefer?

Paris: sorry, great ladies, but i'm gay

Paris: *give the apple to Hermes*

Hermes: ...

Aphrodite: wait-

Zeus: well, there is nothing we can do, let's go home and leave the boy alone

THE END

JRR Tolkien, about Elrond: "he was as kind as summer"

Me, a Floridan: so basically Elrond is really brutal

Ra: What time is it?

Set: I don’t know, pass me my trombone and we’ll find out.

Set: *Plays the trombone loudly and extremely out of tune*

Horus: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!

Set: It’s 2 am.

We honestly do