Cable: Let's Play Two Truths And A Lie. I'll Start: My Hair Is Brown, Im From The Future, And Scott's

Cable: Let's play Two Truths and a Lie. I'll start: my hair is brown, I’m from the future, and Scott's my biological dad. Scott: I think you should make it a little more challenging. Peter: Baby, his hair is silver… Scott: WAIT YOU'RE MY WHAT???

Scott: WHO’S YOUR MOM?!?

Cable: I’m gonna be honest, for the first twenty years of my life I thought it was Peter.

Peter: . . . what?

Cable: Look, I’m not that smart. I also have two older siblings that I met after being abducted. Logically, the conclusion was that Peter’s my mom. Well, we all called you Ocko.

Scott: Yeah, you’re definitely my son.

Peter: We have three kids in the future?!

Cable: That I know of.

X-Men as The Onion headlines:

Scott: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.

Pietro: Really? Good luck!

Scott: Oh, that came out wrong. I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.

Jean: Jubilee’s chapstick tastes real nice.

Scott: You two kissed?

Jean: What! No-

Jubilee: She ate it.

Jean: *facepalms*

Scott: Jealousy? I have no need for such base, infantile nonsense. My partner and I are as solid as the rose quartz my glasses are made of.

Crystal: *looks vaguely in Pietro’s direction*

Scott: I THINK THE FUCK NOT!!

Pietro: Do I have something on my face?

Scott: What?

Pietro: You have been staring at me for at least ten minutes.

Scott: Oh, uh, no. There’s nothing on your face.

Pietro: Then why are you staring at me?

Scott: Honestly?

Pietro: Yes.

Scott: I just really want to play with your hair.