Source: Community - Tumblr Posts
Scott: Hey, Emma. It’s me, Scott.
Emma: I don’t know where Pietro is. I can try to call him?
Scott: No, I’m not looking for my better half.
Scott: Guys, this is my boyfriend. Pietro, these are my friends.
Pietro: Why are they looking at me that way?
Jubilee: Scott acts as sort of a dad for the group. Emotionally, this is like being told that you’re our new mom.
Pietro: You know it is not like that at all, right?
Kurt: Absolutely, do you cook macaroni?
Chaol: I can excuse slavery, but I draw the line at assassinations!
Literally Everyone: You can excuse slavery!?
Lorcan, about Aelin: That girl is a hurricane.
Rowan: Hah, yeah, she sure is.
Lorcan: Hurricanes are bad, Whitethorn.
Rowan: You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to a point of near-delusion. Rowan: *leaves*
Aelin: ... Aelin: He called me cute.
Aelin: Not much could ruin today.
Lorcan: Greetings.
Aelin: Oh, shoot. I forgot saying that summons him.
Rowan: Hey, Lorcan sneezes like a girl!
Lorcan: And how about I pound you like a boy--nope, that didn’t come out right.
(Aelin wheezing in the background)
Aelin: You don’t see me saying anything crazy about Chaol and Dorian's weird little relationship
Chaol and Dorian, in unison: She's just jealous.
Dorian: Rowan, I think you should play the role of my father.
Rowan: I don't want to be your father.
Dorian: That's perfect. You already know your lines.
Kenji: Would you please not Adam this into a worse situation than it already is?
Adam: Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb?
Sundew: you know, I'm having a pretty good day!
Belladonna: hi.
Sundew: shit, I forgot saying that summons her.
Sundew: Would you please not Swordtail this into a worse situation than it already is?
Swordtail: excuse me, did you just use my name as a verb?
Clay: hey, I was wondering if you could help me out.
Peril: sure, here's a bunch of explosives.
Clay: no, different thing.
Tsunami: I once commanded a jet ski through an electric storm. only had one casualty.
Turtle: jet skis only hold two people.
Tsunami: yep. saved half the crew.
Sunny: No, here's the thing. I am putting my foot down, you understand? I am being assertive. And I am making eye contact. And it is achieving results.
Tsunami: are you trying to be formidable with me?
Sunny: it worked on Clay.
Tsunami: infomercials work on Clay.
Glory: Tell me, good leader, when I refer to you in public, would you prefer 'imbecile' or 'maniac'?
Tsunami: Well, I'd prefer 'maniac' but-
Clay: that’s one of my biggest fears. like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Glory: you would eat yourself?
Clay: wouldn’t even question it!
Daniel: Tell me, Johnny, when I refer to you in my autobiography, would you prefer "imbecile" or "incompetent"?
Johnny: Well, I would PREFER "incompetent", but--
Tory: You ruin everything, you know that? Why don't you go start a ruiners club? Oh wait, you'd probably just ruin it.
Sam: Well then I'd be doing a good job, because it's a ruiners club!
Tory: YOU RUINED MY ANALOGY