JAUNE IS A WHORE! PT 2.

JAUNE IS A WHORE! PT 2.

(as always, this is a shitpost, this is just me trying to be funny, not show my interpretation of the characters)

Jaune found himself infront of Ruby as she just looked at him.

Ruby: jaune. Your my best friend I want you to remember that.

Jaune: I know.

Ruby: that being said... HOW DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY SISTER?!

Jaune: oh so this isn't about me accidentally eating the last cookie.

Ruby: what? No ofcourse not, I'd be mad if it's anyone else, I only trust you and yang with my cookies.

Jaune: oh.

Ruby: but point is... WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH YANG?!

Jaune: I'll be honest ruby... It's all because of a bad pun I made.

Ruby:... Your joking.. right?

Jaune: nope, sorry ruby but your sister is punsexual.

Ruby: UGH! Why am I not suprised?

Jaune: hey look at the bright side. Atleast it was a fling.

Ruby: yeah... But now that I have my explanation.

Ruby takes out crescent rose before transforming it into its gun form as she pointed it at jaunes face.

Ruby: JAUNE YOU WHORE!

Jaune: YIKES!

All jaune could do was look out into the vastness as Weiss stared at him.

Weiss: don't tell me...

Jaune: your sister and mom... Got Arc'd prepare to be an aunt and to have another sibling.

Weiss: GODS DAMNIT JAUNE YOU FUCKING WHORE!

JAUNE IS A WHORE. Pt 1

(once again this is a shitpost. This does not actually represent how I view the characters this is more of just me deciding to dick around and make something funny)

Jaune entered a room as he saw one Weiss schnee sitting on a couch with a chair facing her as the air was.. tense to say the list

Jaune: uh hey Weiss.. you uh.. called me for something?

Weiss: yes there is something we need to discuss. Now please have a seat.

Weiss would point at the chair as jaune made an audible gulp. Jaune would simply nod as he walked up to the chair before sitting down.

Weiss: there... Now me and ru-

Jaune: I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO FUCK YOUR SISTER AND YOUR MOM!

Weiss: WAIT YOU WHAT?!

Jaune: wait... You didn't know? Then why did you ask me to come here-

Weiss: because I was planning on asking you to go out with me and ruby to the mall but right now.. YOU FUCKED MY SISTER?!

Jaune: and your mom...

Weiss: AND MY MOTHER?!

Jaune: look it was an accident I swear-

Weiss: JAUNE YOU FUCKIN WHORE!

Qrow: oh shit wait hey Blondie.

Jaune: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE, SPECIFICALLY IN MY SONS CLOSET?!

Qrow: wait.. this is your house... Shit thought I was in Tai's... Anyway mind if I-

Suddenly Qrows face was met with the barrel of one Milo owned by Pyrrha Nikos

Pyrrha: Qrow.. I'm only going to ask this once. LEAVE OR I WILL TURN YOUR CORPSE INTO SWISS CHEESE!

Qrow:... Can I atleast get some beer.

Jamie (Arkos son): *age seven, clutching his blankets* Daddy, there’s a scary man in my closet!

Jaune: *comforting fatherly tone* Jamie, it’s okay…I’m sure there’s nothing to be afraid of…!

Jamie: No, daddy! He’s tall and skinny and he’s part bird!

Jaune: *walks to the closet door* Here, I’ll check in the closet and make sure there’s nothing in there!

Jamie: Daddy, don’t! He’s really scary!

Jaune: *opening the closet door* Jamie, your dad is a trained huntsman! I’m sure I can keep you safe from whatever-

Qrow: *in the closet* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Jaune: 😱 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Jamie: 😭 AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Jaune: Weiss... You'll have to legally call me daddy no-

Weiss: no. NO. FUCK THAT, AND FUCK YOU!

Jaune: Weiss I know its-

Weiss: no, it's not "kill yourself" fuck you. It's "im going to break your pelvis" fuck you

R/J: WHAT?!

Weiss: ruby can join aswell if she feels like it but I'm not about to live the rest of my days dickless all because you fucked those SOWS of my family.

Jaune: hey wait you can't say-

Weiss: PANTS OFF ARC. Unless you feel like having your dick be frozen off!

JAUNE IS A WHORE. Pt 1

(once again this is a shitpost. This does not actually represent how I view the characters this is more of just me deciding to dick around and make something funny)

Jaune entered a room as he saw one Weiss schnee sitting on a couch with a chair facing her as the air was.. tense to say the list

Jaune: uh hey Weiss.. you uh.. called me for something?

Weiss: yes there is something we need to discuss. Now please have a seat.

Weiss would point at the chair as jaune made an audible gulp. Jaune would simply nod as he walked up to the chair before sitting down.

Weiss: there... Now me and ru-

Jaune: I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO FUCK YOUR SISTER AND YOUR MOM!

Weiss: WAIT YOU WHAT?!

Jaune: wait... You didn't know? Then why did you ask me to come here-

Weiss: because I was planning on asking you to go out with me and ruby to the mall but right now.. YOU FUCKED MY SISTER?!

Jaune: and your mom...

Weiss: AND MY MOTHER?!

Jaune: look it was an accident I swear-

Weiss: JAUNE YOU FUCKIN WHORE!

I think after one more I'll get back to writing fanfic.... Probably.

Yang and Winter find out about Jaune fucking the other. This confirms to them that he is in fact a whore. One that they had like, but still one.

Jaune is a WHORE! (Ask 1)

Yang and winter found themselves on a mission together as they began to chat. At first it was just boring stuff like mission details, then about their sisters before yang decided to ask a personal question.

Yang: weird question but uh, you a virgin?

Winter blushed softly as she looked at yang.

Winter: why would my sexual activity be of any interest to you.

Yang: just curious is all.

Winter just grumbled as she rolled her eyes.

Winter: well if you must know, no. I am not a virgin.

Yang: ooooo~ who's the lucky gun?

Winter: who I slept with is none of your business.

Yang: oh come on. I'm just curious. I won't tell a soul honest!

Winter stopped for a moment before looking at yang.

Winter: you swear it?

Yang nodded as winter sighed before taking a deep breath.

Winter: I slept with the arc boy.

Yang: you slept with lady killer?!

Winter: what surprised a Schnee would sleep with a person of humble standing?

Yang: no actually. I'm surprised because uh well... I also did it with him.

The two looked at eachother before something clicked.

Both: ARC IS/JAUNE'S A FUCKIN WHORE!

(apologies for how short it is)