Jaune Is A WHORE. - Tumblr Posts
JAUNE IS A WHORE. Pt 1
(once again this is a shitpost. This does not actually represent how I view the characters this is more of just me deciding to dick around and make something funny)
Jaune entered a room as he saw one Weiss schnee sitting on a couch with a chair facing her as the air was.. tense to say the list
Jaune: uh hey Weiss.. you uh.. called me for something?
Weiss: yes there is something we need to discuss. Now please have a seat.
Weiss would point at the chair as jaune made an audible gulp. Jaune would simply nod as he walked up to the chair before sitting down.
Weiss: there... Now me and ru-
Jaune: I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO FUCK YOUR SISTER AND YOUR MOM!
Weiss: WAIT YOU WHAT?!
Jaune: wait... You didn't know? Then why did you ask me to come here-
Weiss: because I was planning on asking you to go out with me and ruby to the mall but right now.. YOU FUCKED MY SISTER?!
Jaune: and your mom...
Weiss: AND MY MOTHER?!
Jaune: look it was an accident I swear-
Weiss: JAUNE YOU FUCKIN WHORE!
JAUNE IS A WHORE! PT 2.
(as always, this is a shitpost, this is just me trying to be funny, not show my interpretation of the characters)
Jaune found himself infront of Ruby as she just looked at him.
Ruby: jaune. Your my best friend I want you to remember that.
Jaune: I know.
Ruby: that being said... HOW DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY SISTER?!
Jaune: oh so this isn't about me accidentally eating the last cookie.
Ruby: what? No ofcourse not, I'd be mad if it's anyone else, I only trust you and yang with my cookies.
Jaune: oh.
Ruby: but point is... WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH YANG?!
Jaune: I'll be honest ruby... It's all because of a bad pun I made.
Ruby:... Your joking.. right?
Jaune: nope, sorry ruby but your sister is punsexual.
Ruby: UGH! Why am I not suprised?
Jaune: hey look at the bright side. Atleast it was a fling.
Ruby: yeah... But now that I have my explanation.
Ruby takes out crescent rose before transforming it into its gun form as she pointed it at jaunes face.
Ruby: JAUNE YOU WHORE!
Jaune: YIKES!
JAUNE IS A WHORE. Pt 3
Jaune found himself sitting in front of one Blake belladonna as she looked at him as he was covered ina variety of colored lipstick.
Blake: jaune... I'm not going to be subtle.
Jaune: I-i would expect nothing less blake.
Blake: not only did you sleep with yang.. but now also ILIA?!
Jaune: look Blake I'm sorry about yang, i know you wanted to be her first but she's punsex-
Blake: oh I'm not mad about that. I'm just really confused on why you slept with my best friend. And more importantly HOW?
Jaune: well we were just talking and we got to the topic of people who we knew we had no chance in hell with, and then well.. things kinda just escalated.
Blake: ok.. so you DIDN'T force yourself onto her?
Jaune: nope full consent and everything.
Blake: ok.. that softens the blow... Now. Did you like it?
Jaune: what?
Blake: did you LIKE IT? Or was it just a fling to add her to your collection of women you fucked.
Jaune: I mean.. yes.
Blake: jaune... Your a whore... A likeable one.. but still a WHORE.
JAUNE IS A WHORE! Pt WHORE (get it?)
(Lancaster/Whiteknight edition.. plus corporate fraud I guess?)
(and before anyone asks why this ain't tagged whiterose as well? I don't feel like having my head being put on like yet by the thorns.)
Jaune found himself in a rather.. interesting predicament as he sat in front of yang and winter. The two women he previously slept with.
Jaune: so... Your not mad.. about when we uh... You know-
Winter: No Mr. Arc we- or more specifically I- am not about our copulation
Jaune: copu-what?
Yang: she ain't mad that you fucked her stupid
Winter: ... That aside we actually came to discuss a recent event.
Jaune: oh.. that being?
Both: you sleeping with Weiss and Ruby.
Jaune: oh... Look before you assume, I will say that Weiss dragged both me AND Ruby to the bedroom.
Winter: well that's obvious, Weiss May be able to stay pristine in public but give her an opportunity to let off steam she'll go full throttle.
Yang: damn weiss-queen is THAT repressed?
Winter and jaune both as jaune winced and massaged his hips.
Jaune: definitely... Gods she practically crushed my hips, though I was better of than ruby, I think her jaw still aches from-
Yang: OK! i don't feel like hearing that.
Jaune: ah sorry forgot you still her as innocent.
Winter: back to the main point I have one question for you Mr. Arc.
Jaune: uh sure fire away.
Winter: do you offer sessions.
Jaune & Yang:
WINTER WTF?!
Winter: I'm being honest here, your practically serving the entire schnee family with your uh... "Arc" all your missing is Whitley and you'd be boning the entire family.
Jaune: well...
Yang: no fuckin way.. you actually-
Jaune: i uh... I fucked Whitley while he dressed up as Weiss.
Winter:... Correction your fucking my entire family!
Jaune:...yeah.
Winter: jaune... Your a whore.
Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5
Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.
Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-
Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty
Jaune:..why?
Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-
Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.
Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!
Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.
Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.
Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.
Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.
Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.
Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.
Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?
Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.
Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.
Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop
Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.
Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.
Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!
Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.
Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks
Neptune: dear oum...
Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.
Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.
Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.
Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.
To be continued...
...i feel like I need to continue this damn series. Is this what rocknroll7575 felt like when dealing with JFOM Club?.. holy shit.
Alright how about this. I'll continue this series if y'all vote on a little pole for me.
Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5
Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.
Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-
Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty
Jaune:..why?
Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-
Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.
Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!
Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.
Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.
Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.
Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.
Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.
Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.
Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?
Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.
Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.
Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop
Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.
Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.
Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!
Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.
Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks
Neptune: dear oum...
Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.
Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.
Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.
Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.
To be continued...
... Ok let's do this.
But I'm titling this section as season 1. Because fuck you.
Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5
Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.
Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-
Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty
Jaune:..why?
Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-
Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.
Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!
Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.
Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.
Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.
Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.
Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.
Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.
Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?
Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.
Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.
Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop
Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.
Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.
Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!
Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.
Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks
Neptune: dear oum...
Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.
Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.
Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.
Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.
To be continued...